I don't know if he fall back asleep or not, but he hasn't moved a muscle for the last 30 minutes. I can clearly see his chest slowly moving up and down, which means he is breathing. Slowly but still breathing.
His skin is still red, but I think his face is less swollen then before or it's just my brain providing the information I want. Seungmin steps out of the kitchen holding a cup in his hand. He coms closer and puts the cup in front of Squirrely making me look inside, wondering what it is.
"It's for his throat. Because his throat is swollen he can't breathe, so instead of giving him oxygen it's better to try and calm down his throat." Seungmin explains.
I slowly shake Squirrely's shoulder, earning another small growl from him before he moves his head, which leads to the rug on his eyes falling off. He slowly opens his eyes looking at me on the side. I take the cup from the table and bring his hand up so he can hold it himself. He sits up more comfortably and looks inside the cup.
"Drink it." Says Seungmin attracting Squirrely's attention on himself. The moment Squirrely's eyes fall on him he jumps up in surprise, I quickly back off with the cup not wanting him to get it split all over himself, because he's honestly running out of shirts. I thought he saw Seungmin one hour ago already, but he probably didn't realize anything because he was barely conscious back then. With a few small steps Squirrely makes his way through the couch, squeezing himself between me and the couch almost pushing me off of it. I quickly support myself with my leg, preventing my body from falling on the side, as my eyes slowly follow the boy that is now hiding behind my back. Where did the sudden energy came from thought.
"Wh- Who are you??" He asks. Me and Seungmin exchange a look, before I turn my body toward Squirrely. I give him a small smile before showing him the cup again.
"Don't worry he is a good person. He prepared you this." I say and shake the cup a bit. He exchanges a few looks between me and Seungmin, before looking back at me and giving me a small nod. Just when his fingers are about to take the cup out of my grip, he suddenly blacks out for a second and just falls to the side and like that off the couch. My eyes just follow his body hit the ground and right after both me and Seungmin jump up half shocked, half worried. I put the damn cup on the table and jump over Squirrely, so I can help him on one side while Seungmin lifts him up on the other.
We sit him back on the couch and he choughs a few times, before his head falls back. He takes a deep yet week breath opening his eyes once gain right after, I gently slide my hand behind his head in between his hair and slowly lift it up.
"Drink it before you sleep." I say earning a simple nod from him. Seungmin gives me the cup and this time I don't wait for any unexpected events to happen, I take it and place it on his lips slowly tilting the cup letting the substance slide in his mouth. He takes a few sips before the visible pain washes over his face.
"It hurts to swallow." Well you'll have to suck it up, but of course I'm not telling you that.
"Go slowly." I say back and he brings his hand up placing it onto mine, so he can control the speed of him drinking. The moment his fingers touch my hand, I freeze for a moment. Not out of fear or shook but... well, I don't know. I feel bad now. Didn't I do this to him just a week ago?? Why does it feel this way. It's just skin touching skin.... right??
I look at his fingers as he titles the cup again, so he can drink more.
"This tastes awful." He says, making my confused eyes shift between his eyes and hand. I'm not really helping anymore, because all I'm doing is stare while he's literally holding the cup, and my hand with it.
"Are you ok??" He suddenly asks, making me look back up at his face. I just nod and pull my hand away slowly, so he doesn't drop the cup.
I just lean back on the couch my eyes confusingly going around the room, and finally making eye contact with Seungmin, who just gives me a confused look.
I feel like I'm choking in silence, why is he looking at me like that?? The silence eventually became overwhelming, so I just blurb out a few words, hoping I can get out of the room.
"I.. umm, need to go to the bathroom" I say and am already ready to get up, but Squirrely grips on my wrist, making me look at him.
"But you can't leave me with him." He slowly says. I look down at his hand, and I don't know if it's just his overdose to blame for the sudden temperature rise, or the sweat that starts collecting on my palms... or just both. I force a small smile before reaching down for his hand.
"I is- I mean he is a good person. Don't worry, I'll be back fast." I say and finally remove his hand. Without waiting for another second to pass by, I get up and start moving my feet. I enter the kitchen and see Minho in front of the computer, with two thick books in front of him. His eyes land on me in an instance, but I just make my way toward the sink, where I let the water run, so I can wash my hands.
"Didn't you say you'll go to the bathroom??" He says making me realize I did say that, then why am I here then. I look up, still processing the fact that this is not the bathroom.
"How did you hear me??" I ask with my hands still under the cold water.
"This house is old you can hear everything including your cracky voice." He says back and I close the water.
"Oh really. That's interesting." I turn around and lean back on the sink, while giving him an awkward smile. He immediately sharpens his eyes as he looks at me.
"What's wrong with you??" I widen my eyes and open my mouth a little bit trying to find an excuse worth telling, but whatever I say, I know he won't bite.
"The bathroom is the other way." He points toward the exit of the kitchen. At least I didn't have to lie. I just smile at him and start walking toward it.
"Oh, right. Bye." Without even looking up, I cross the living room. Why is my brain acting like an idiot right now?? I enter the bathroom and close the door behind me. I splash some water on my face, feeling the drops of water traveling down on the side of my face, and slowly reach the tip of my chin as they fall down back into the sink.
I look in the mirror straight into my own eyes, and then down at my hands. "It's skin touching that's everything there is to it" I remember my own words from a weeks ago. "But it is skin touching skin though." I say to myself and bring my hands up, so I can look at them more clearly. "Why did my palms sweat then?? Does he have a fever??" Before I start to develop a whole ass theory, a loud noise makes me jump up. I turn my head toward the door of the bathroom and my mind immediately starts thinking something must have happened with the Squirrely. I quickly storm out of the door and in less then a second, I notice Seungmin hiding behind the corner just in front of the living room. I get closer to him and the moment he turns his head toward me, my eyes go wide. His lip is bleeding!!
"What happened?!" I ask as I turn his had to the side, so I can get a better look at his wound.
"He hit me." He says to me, making me even more confused.
"Why did he hit you??"
"I don't know. He was nervous when you left, and after taking a few more sips he just froze and didn't move anymore. After I called his name he turned toward me, his eyes widened and he jumped on his feet immedi-" I cut him off as he mentioned Squirrely's name.
"You called his name?!" We agreed not to call him by his name though. How did I forget to tell Seungmin that he doesn't like to be called by his name?! AGHHHHHHHHHHH!!
"Yes. Why?? He asks back.
"He doesn't like his name. Last time he freaked out when we mentioned his name." I say and Seungmin just turns his head looking at the floor for a second, before speaking up again.
"Maybe it brings back memories that he doesn't want to remember. Anyway, what maters right now is to calm him down, his breath is way to weak for him to be in a panic mode, he is breathing way to fast right now. Also, one of the side effects was hallucinations, so I wouldn't be surprised if it's happening right now, after all the moment you left his body tensed up in a second, if he doesn't feel safe in his mental state the side effects will be stronger." Seungmin explains, making me take a second to think the situation through. I peek my head from the corner eyeing the living room where I see Squirrely sitting on the ground, rolled together in a ball. I step into the room slowly, but right after Seungmin pulls me back, making me look at him in confusion.
"What are you doing?? He might hurt you." I raise my left eyebrow at him.
"You said we have to calm him down." I say and shake his hand off. I don't care if he hurts me, if I can do something I'll do it, and if I can't then at least I'm going to try. I enter the room again and get noticed almost immediately, as his head raises up and his eyes look directly into mine.
They are filled with anger, fear and tears. The tears dropping down his cheeks one by one, as he gets up on his shaky legs only to fall back on his butt right after.
It somehow breaks my heart to see him like this. I don't even know what is happening inside his head right now, and it's just breaking me into pieces not to be able to do anything about it. Only if I could take it out of his head, only if I could erase the fear in his eyes, then maybe he could smile more and be happier.
"Don't came." He picks up one of the pillows from the couch and throws it at me. I catch it and just drop it on the floor. If he is really hallucinating, who can I possibly be right now. A nurse, the director, the bodyguards or the person who hit him??
"It's ok. It's me Jieun." I say only for him to press his palms on the side of his head, and squeeze himself together even tighter. He is mumbling something to himself, but I can't understand a word from here. His nails keep scratching the back of his ears, trying to cover them as much as possible.
"Don't come, don't come, don't comeee it hurts. It hurts to much. Stay backkk." He almost squeals those last words out. "STAY AWAY FROM ME!!" Seungmin was damn right. There is 95% chance he will hurt me, and I realize that the moment he picks up the cup from the table and throws it toward me, with the last drops of energy he has.
I watch the cup fly through the air right toward my face, but my reflexes work well enough to move my body 10 centimetres to the left, as I watch the cup fly in front of my face, just inches away from the tip of my nose. I watch it break into pieces, it's parts shattering all over the room. Before I turn back to him again, I see Minho's worried face from the corner of my eye. He is telling me to stay away from him, to just leave him alone, but I don't think I am capable of doing that. I don't think I want to do it. I turn my head back to the boy on the ground, determined to get him out of that hallucination.
"Squirrely it's me. Don't you remember my voice??" I say as I make two more steps forward in hopes, he has nothing left to throw at me. "I scolded you for leaving without your shoes on, and for getting wet in the rain. And then I showed you how to use chopsticks again, and because of me you have been eating ramen for a week now, I was also there when you couldn't breathe on the floor, I held your hand and we even watched a movie together. I never hurt you and I never will, so please remember me." I am almost there. Just a little bit more and I'll be there. I see him stop shaking his body and just looks up for a moment. His eyes are still fixed on the floor, but now I can at least see them.
"You said I make you want to remember the time you spend with me, so please remember." A single step left and finally I get to him. I kneel down and slowly put his hands away from his ears, getting a better look at his face, as he lifts it up a little bit more.
"Squirrely...??" He mumbles and finally looks up at me. His eyes are still filed with tears, but at least the anger is gone. I give him a warm smile before he brings his hands up grabbing mine, and pulling them down to his waist. A second later he leans forward and just buries his face into my shoulder wrapping his arms around my waist, and giving me a hug. I freeze on the spot, with my hands in the air just centimetres from his body.
I just smile to myself before wrapping my hands around him and give him a hug as well. He doesn't hesitate to push all his weight on me, pushing me backwards letting me hit the floor with my butt, as he just tightens his muscles around me. He is literally lying down on me while I'm leaning on the couch.
I think I know, how he felt when I held his hand that time. This truly does feel.. good.
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Thank you for reading â¤ï¸ð¤
Fun fact: When I wrote this "It hurts to swallow." Well you'll have to suck it up, but of course I'm not telling you that. I was running of words to write, so I just wrote this line out of frustration, but later on decided to leave it in the story.