It's been a few days, maybe five... six?? I don't know, I lost track of time inside this house. Anyways, it's been a few days since Squirrely overdosed, and I gotta admit he is doing better then I thought he would.
We started giving him the drug again on the same day, just in way smaller doses then before. Even thought he showed some sings of sweating and uneasiness, he managed to control himself. Yesterday we lowered his dose again, and he has been doing pretty good, I'm sure that by next week we'll be able to stop giving it to him.
He also picked up some TV shows. Despite his memories coming back, we still keep teaching him about different things, and keep answering his questions. Turns out he is a really curious person.
He has been watching videos of animals, industry, different civilizations, history, even English shows. He picked up some guy that teaches about K-pop and every time presents different things or groups, mostly dances tho.
I feel like my phone is his now. I don't even get 5 minutes on my own phone, since he's on YouTube every minute. Everyday feels more and more normal with him, because he is sleeping mostly at night and keeps himself up for 15 hours a day. He's probably the only 21 years old guy who gets his healthy amount of sleep a day.
His panic attacks calmed down as well, he had a few here and there but I was able to calm him down without any bigger problems. I do catch him having nightmares and just staring into space without any emotions on his face, so I just try to snap him out of his thoughts fast. Mostly it's by bringing up a random topic, sometimes when I don't know what to say I just hug him. I can't deny the fact that his hugs feel so warm and comfortable.
I have never really hugged anyone other then Minho in my entire life, maybe a few boys here and there in high school, but I was never the type to hug people, either I let them hug me. I mean I do like it somehow, but I don't do it much. I guess he can do the magic. Even Minho is comfortable with skin ship around him, and for Minho he mostly hits people in the stomach the moment they cross the line.
The boy is also laughing a lot, he is actually really goofy. Even thought mostly he needs someone to stay next to him nonstop, the help goes both ways since he always seems to lift my spirit up somehow.
After the day he overdosed he felt really comfortable. He stopped hiding how he feels and actually talks to me about the memories that run through his mind. I didn't know his childhood never actually existed. According to what he told me, he got physically abused since he way a child all the way until he got into the hospital, but the abuse didn't stop, it just turned into mental abuse. He did have a few funny memories from school though, I can tell he tried to look on the bright side of things as much as possible and do stupid stuff like every other kid.
As for the other two boys, they still can't get over that picture. I don't know what's worst to be locked in this house for almost 2 weeks, or being locked in this house for almost 2 weeks with them. Every time we do something Minho and Jisung get so excited, that they probably makes every crow in the area of 5 meters around this house go deaf. I can't really complain since I mostly join them, and even Seungmin lets down his image and just acts how he wants.
I noticed he somehow changed since the first day he was here. At first he was stiff and professional all the time, I felt weird while cracking up a joke around him, so it felt off since he wasn't like that during high school. It seemed like his smile faded as the years passed by. BUT, thank god Han Jisung is here, because with small help of me and Minho, we manage to crack the boy and bring that wide smile back. He shows a lot more caring side now but I'm still wondering what made him change. Is it stress from school or just personal life?? I haven't seen him in years so I have no idea what is going on in this boys life.
Minho decided to pick up some videos online, and try to cook a few dishes to save us from cup noodles. He probably got tired of eating them as well. I mean, despite the fact that we eat a lot of them without being locked up in here, now we eat them Every. Single. Day. Turns out Seungmin is not really experienced in the kitchen as well. In my opinion, we are underestimating ourselves way to much, I believe we can create a really tasty dish maybe not now but one day. Nobody ever gets better over night, so with a lot of practice and perseverance I'm sure we can make something really delicious. This situation actually made me reconsider learning how to cook, I don't think I'll be able to eat cup noodles ever again after this.
Since Jisung wants to try a lot of new things, he helps Minho a lot in the kitchen and their combo creates hell a lot of a mess which I have to clean, but it's fair share. They cook... well try to, me and Seungmin clean.
"Oh we did that." Says a voice next to me. I snap out of my thoughts and turn my head toward the screen where a drama is rolling. The scene shows the two main leads laying down on the couch in the living room. with the mans hands wrapped around her. He is right, we did do this a few days ago, and I can't keep my ears from heating up every time he mentions it.
You know how people blush at situations like that?? Well, I don't. Minho developed a theory where he explained that because I don't like to show emotions, I blush with my ears instead of my cheeks which is sooooooo weird. I always thought it's just hard to make me blush, but after he brought that theory up, I stopped trying to argue about it. If it happens it happens, if not then not, it's not like I'm a big fan of showing a guy that he has any kind of an influence on me.
Why is the sexual tension between the man and the woman so visible tho?? I don't want Squirrely's pure soul to be take away. In the next moment they kiss and since this is a Korean drama, of course the kiss lasts at least a minute if not even more, I have never measured the time before.
"I wonder how that feels." I look back at Squirrely who is watching the scene carefully. He has probably never kissed anyone before, at least not on the lips and since he is such a curious person he probably wants to try. After he finishes absorbing the scene, his head turns toward me catching my eyes into his.
"Let's do it!!" He says all of a sudden making me widen my eyes. On the corner of my eye I can see Seungmin choking on his food, and Minho just smiling at himself. "We have hugged like that so isn't it logical to kiss after, also it looks so worm and calm and soft." He doesn't have to describe it I know how it feels because I have done it before. My mind suddenly goes blank as he keeps looking at me with those big sparkling eyes. I cover my ears and it the next moment he leans forward, making me cover his mouth with one of my hands.
"No- that- we- it's- it's different." I manage to say before Minho opens his mouth.
"If she doesn't want to do it, you want to try it with me??" He asks in a jokingly tone, but Squirrely takes him seriously and quickly turns his head toward him.
"Can we??" He asks and already gets up to jump on the other couch. In that moment I just exchange a look with Minho. He is smirking. Why the hell is he smirking at me?? I lean forward and pull Squirrely back on the couch. He just looks at me with a surprised expression, and he is not the only one, everyone are looking at me expecting me to explain my actions.
"I... YOU DON'T HAVE TO TRY IT NOW!!" He jumps up at my sudden scream. I don't even know why I'm reacting like this, but I really don't like the idea of Minho being his first kiss. I know Minho is bold enough to actually steel his first kiss and I somehow don't feel comfortable with that. I don't even want to imagine it.. DAMN IT.
"Why?? Is it wrong to kiss a guy??" He asks making me quickly shake my head.
"No. No it's not, it's just... You have a lot of time to try a kiss, don't waste it on that dimwit!!" I say eyeing Minho again. He gives me a sharp glance, but I just focus back on Squirrely. I don't know what to really say now tho.
"Don't forget this dimwit was your first kiss." Minho says making all of the heads in the room turn toward him. "And it's not steeling his first kiss, it's giving it to him. He asked me to do it with him." He says.
"Wait. You kissed??" Squirrely asks. "The- the two of you??" He keeps sifting his gaze from me to Minho.
"Of course. If I wasn't there this idiot would never experience anything in her entire life. I was her first kiss, her first boyfriend, we even mad-" I stand up quickly, jumping on top of him and shutting his mouth with my hands.
"We mate op." He says through my hand.
"That's enough don't you think." I say in a low warning tone making sure only he hears it.
"Wait, I didn't know you dated in high school." Seungmin looks at us in amuse. The truth is we dated when we first meet. When we figured out we somehow match well together a few things happened such as the first kiss and the making out he mentioned. I really had a bad taste in men back then if I actually liked him.
After we decided to date non of us actually knew how to act while dating, because we felt more comfortable when we introduced each other as friends. When we saw that things with our so called relationship didn't really go in a way other relationships go, we broke it up quickly. Everyone thought we would be like every other couple and avoid each other, so they were really surprised when we walked into class while cracking up like two idiots.
After that we just continued as best friends, and decided to take our kiss into our graves with us. Now when I think abut that time it makes me cringe to be honest, how did I kiss this dimwit??
"It was in fresh man year, and it was only for a week. I was to good for her so I dumped her fast... Ah I need to puke I suddenly remembered that kiss." He says and this time I feel exactly the same. I can't believe I kissed him, ewww.
"Then why can't you kiss me??" I notice the way Squirrely is looking at me. Why does he seem upset all of a sudden??
"It's not that I can't it's just.... DO YOU THINK KISSING SOMEONE IS SO EASY A?? STOP ASKING ME TO KISS YOU WHILE LOOKING AT ME WITH THOSE EYES FOR GODS SAKE. AND WHY WOULD YOU WANT HIM TO BE YOUR FIRST KISS, THAT'S TO STUPID. WE HAVE PLENTY ON TIME TO KISS SO STOP BEING INTERESTED IN IT AND FOCUS ON OTHER THINGS. YESTERDAYS DINER SUCKED LEARN HOW TO COOK FIRST."
. . . fuck..... This is so embarrassing. Why do I even care about his first kiss it's his after all. And why did I say dinner sucked when I actually liked it. Damn it, I need to get out of here. Without saying another word, I get up leaving all three amused faces behind as I enter the kitchen.
"WE DO??" Squirrely shouts behind me making me realize what I actually said. My ears suddenly go even more red, as I just slam my head on the wooden door hoping that the side of my brain that controls me wakes up. How could I lose it like that, and the worst thing is that I wasn't even angry so why exactly did I lose it??
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Thank you for reading â¤ï¸ð¤
Not me checking this chapter at 6am in the morning.