Rumors are like wildfire. Before you know it they spread and get out of control. The thing about rumors is its false knowledge. False knowledge is worse than ignorance, especially when it's carried out against someone. Only a true scumbag would get joy out of destroying another person's life through defamation of character.
Now facts are never hearsay or something that someone heard from a "source". Facts are knowledge. They are what you see or witness first hand. It's true. Truth is always accurate because it's truth. Truth can never be a lie.
But what about when truth and rumors collide? What about when someone spreads the truth as a rumor? That's betrayal. The worst betrayal comes from those we trust. Those who don't know the value of loyalty can never understand the cost of betrayal. Be careful who you tell your feelings to because some people are laying in wait to use them against you. Trust and loyalty is not a game. It's not about who's real to your face. It's about who's real behind your back.
Ava wrote in her literature notebook. She wrote out all of her thoughts on Mr. Wickham's character. The words that seemed to repeat over and over are rumors, truth, betrayal, and loyalty. Those are important words dealing with the integrity of a person. A person's integrity is important to her.
Having been on the receiving end of nasty rumors, in middle school, it really bothers her to hear idle gossip. Gossip is fun. Everyone does it, even she has. But when the gossip goes too far, that's it. There has to be a stop. She tries to stop rumors from spreading by not saying anything. And some are just too over the top to be believed.
This is why, when she started getting strange looks Friday before the Homecoming Dance, she grew suspicious. It started that morning. Since it's School Spirit Day, she decided to dress accordingly. Grey joggers, and a green off-the-shoulder sweater with a black tank underneath. She even wore green socks with a pair of black pumps and painted her nails green with grey dots. That's it. School spirit. Yay.
Walking by a group of Sophomore girls, they began looking at her and whispering. Thinking they're talking about Johnny, she ignored it. She passed by a group of boys and they also started whispering. OK, maybe it's her outfit. Perhaps her pants are too tight? She really doesn't know and could care less.
But by lunchtime, the whispers are growing tiresome. Bypassing her own locker for Johnny's, she went to where he is. With her books in her hands, she leaned her back onto the lockers. He smiled when he saw her. Instead of her usual greeting, she asked "Why am I getting so many whispers today? Every time I pass a group they stop and talk about me. Do you know anything?"
Interesting. For once he knows nothing. "Maybe they think you look hot. I know I do." He closed his locker and leaned his arm beside her head. He gave her a quick kiss, then took her books.
She nodded and they went to her own locker. When they passed a group of freshmen they all pointed and stared. Johnny sees what she means. Shoving her books into the locker, and taking the ones for her next classes, she slammed it shut. "It's super frustrating being talked about and not knowing why."
Johnny caressed her shoulders, then took her hand. "Just remember. Gossip about you is from haters and it's spread by idiots. I mean look at Tommy. He's one of my best friends, but he gossips. Enough said."
Elbowing him in the side, playfully, Ava stated "That's mean. Tommy isn't an idiot. He's just not the brightest bulb in the bunch, sometimes."
"That's code for an idiot." He gave her a look as they walked to the cafeteria.
Walking to their table, people continued to murmur as the two of them passed by. Sitting their things down, Johnny turned to Tommy. "Hey Man, you know all the gossip. Why is everyone talking about Ava? You know everything about everyone. So spill."
Tommy held up his hands. "This time I know nothing. I haven't heard anything either. But then that could be because I'm best buds with you. And since you're dating her, people may not want me to know. They know I'd tell you, and if it's bad you'd mess them up good."
That makes sense, but it doesn't help his girlfriend. "Sorry Buttercup. Our own blabbermouth knows nothing."
She waved him off. "It's fine." After taking the lunch out of the bag, she turned to the other guys. "Have you all gotten your date's wrist corsages yet?" They stared blankly at her. "Oh my gosh. Please tell me you did?" They said nothing, even her own boyfriend looked dumbfounded. "Seriously, you all need to go after school and order it, or else every date will feel let down. Carry it to the bank." She unwrapped her sandwich and opened her chips.
Angling his head, Johnny reminded her. "But Ava I thought you said you didn't want one. When we talked about it you said flowers would be a fine substitute." He saw her give him a look.
"I did, but then all my friends want one. So, I changed my mind. I told you that Wednesday morning. Weren't you listening?" Men! Why are they so obtuse and selective with their hearing.
Letting out a slow breath, he tried to remember. Nope. Nothing. "When on Wednesday morning, did you mention this?"
Geesh! She was standing right beside him. "I was standing beside you. We were all gathered at your bikes. You, all of them"â- she pointed at the Cobrasâ- "Joy, Charley, Kara, and Rachel were there. You were talking about something. I don't really remember."
Oh, right... It hit like a ton of bricks to the head. "I remember now. Sorry, but I wasn't really listening. Jimmy's tacky outfit made me blind and deaf for a while." He looked at Jimmy, "Your Hawaiian shirt, with those plaid shorts, fanny pack, and safari hat was hilarious. But the things that got me were those Christmas knee-high socks and bedroom slippers. Loved it." He reached over and high-fived him.
Shaking her head, Ava agreed. "You did look really funny Jimmy. Unlike Bobby and Johnny, who think mismatched stripes and plaid are tacky." Turning to stare at both her boyfriend and his best friend, she said "Seriously the two of you with your love affair of plaid and stripes. I can't..."
Johnny poked her in the side, where he knows she's ticklish. She squirmed as Bobby threw a tater tot her way. At that moment, Joy joined them. The two of them talked as the guys discussed karate and an after-party tomorrow night. On Friday's her other girlfriends have B lunch.
By the afternoon, Ava was over all of the pointing, the stares, and the strange looks. At PE she asked her friends if they knew anything.
"I have no idea," Charley told her. She really doesn't. No one has said anything to her.
Kara shook her head no. "But I love rumors. I always find out amazing things about myself that I didn't already know." They all laughed at her humor, even Ava.
Joy and Rachel said they knew nothing too. Well, that's just frustrating. No one knows anything. For PE they started by running laps, then some silly obstacle course, and ended the hour with free choice Friday. Ava's choice is sitting and watching the guys play soccer with her friends.
While they watched the guys they talked about the dance. "I can't believe I'm going with Tommy. I thought he'd never ask me." Last Friday he met her at her locker with flowers. He asked her to be his date. Of course, she said yes. Why wouldn't she? He's good-looking and funny.
Charley agreed. "He's a sweet guy, once you look past his tough persona." She's also on cloud nine. Jimmy responded yes to her letter. They're going together to homecoming. "But Jimmy is the sweetest."
One hundred percent disagreeing, Ava kept her mouth shut. She knows for a fact Johnny is the sweetest of them all. He just hides it very well.
"No he isn't. Bobby is," Rachel voiced. He didn't ask her, but she's happy going with Joe from the football team.
Speaking up Joy wondered "Didn't he ask that girl Carrie, Sherry, Terry, something?" They all really have no idea who Bobby asked.
When the girls started talking about Wendy Coopleman, Ava tuned out. She watched Johnny head the ball. His tall frame stands out above the rest. He's so athletic and toned. Looking around the field, she can see other girls watching him too. Far from jealous, she's blessed. They found each other in ninth grade, broke up, then found each other again. What if they were meant to part ways only to find each other again?
After the coach called time, she walked with Johnny back to the locker rooms. Before they went their separate ways to change, he tried to hug her knowing she'd hate it. "Gross! You're sweaty. No thanks." Instead, he gave her a kiss on the cheek and asked her to wait for him. She nodded and went into the girl's locker room.
She changed back into her clothes, fixed her hair, and touched up her makeup. Exiting with her friends, she checked her school bag. It feels light. "Guys I forgot my curling iron. You don't have to wait for me, I promise. I have to wait for Johnny anyway." Â They all said bye and promised to phone later.
Back into the locker room, she went to retrieve the curling iron. She didn't make it very far, because once she entered talk could be heard. Not just any talk, gossip about her. Some of the Senior girls were speaking. She knows them. They're friends with Ali, Barbara, and Susan.
Robin spoke. "I heard the same thing too. I heard he's only dating her because she's a virgin. He only wants one thing, then he's going to dump her."
"I wouldn't be surprised. I mean Johnny is Johnny. He's hot and muscular, and Ava well... she's Ava. Sure she's pretty but why would he want her after he was with Ali? I mean the two of them had sex, at least that's what Susan said. I can see him only dating Ava to take her V-card," Berkeley stated.
Mercedes spoke next. "For sure. I can totally see him only dating her for that reason. Then he'll move on. He can move on with me anytime." They all laughed.
Feeling so many things, her chest hurt. And the tears in her eyes raced down her cheeks. She left the locker room as fast as she could. Not even bothering to respond to Tommy, when he called her name, she ran all the way to her car.
In the guy's locker room Johnny heard something similar. However, it wasn't quite like Ava's eavesdropping version. It was more to his face. Chip, a jackass on the football team, patted him on the back and high-fived him. He had no idea why the guy did this until he mentioned his girlfriend's name.
When the guy said what he did, the locker room got so quiet you could hear a pin drop. "Could you repeat what you just said? Because I swear it sounded like something out of a movie."
Chip repeated it and Johnny freaked out. He grabbed him by the collar. "Where did you hear that?"
"Look Man, I only repeated what I heard. The whole school's talking about it. About how you're only dating her to you know." Johnny noticed he looked like he could wet himself. Good cause he's about to get his ass kicked, except...
Scanning the locker room, he sneered and condemned every guy in there (except his friends). "So all of you think I'm only dating Ava to have sex. Bullshit! What a bunch of pathetic losers you all are. If I only wanted that I'd have gotten with Vivian Drexler a long time ago. Everyone knows she's easy. I'm not dating Ava because of that. You're all a bunch of stupid assholes." He can't believe the ridiculous, mean things he heard. He's putting a stop to this crap.
"Let it be known, and I don't care if you tell your girlfriends, or whoever. Let it be known Johnny Lawrence is dating Ava Green because he loves her and she's hot. But mainly because I love her." There. He ended this. However, he now has to tell his girlfriend the reason why people have been talking about her all day. Unless she already knows, which would really suck.
Turning to Tommy, he asserted "Man, can you go see if Ava is waiting for me? Make sure she doesn't overhear anything inappropriate. This is something I need to tell her myself." Tommy nodded to him and left.
As soon as he finished changing, he and the guys left. Tommy met them. "Ava took off running out of the locker room. It looked like she was headed for the parking lot."
"Crap!" Johnny exclaimed. That's not good. Taking off to his bike, his heart pounded in his chest. His stress level is high and worries for Ava have overcome him. Most likely she knows and he can't imagine what's going through her head. None of it is worthy of thinking.
Nothing she's thinking is good or pleasant. She cried the whole way home. Her mother greeted her, but she bypassed her straight for the stairs and into her room. Laying on her bed, she grabbed a pillow and hugged it to her.
The tears continued to pour and a huge tremor overtook her. Her body became wracked with tears and sobs. It's all very depressing. Not knowing how long she laid there, she heard a knock at the door. She wants to say go away but just doesn't have the energy to.
Her mother entered. "Johnny's here," she told her.
She doesn't want to see anyone, especially him. "Please send him away." Her mother said a quiet "OK". A few minutes later, she returned.
Coming to sit on her daughter's bed, Linda stroked Ava's back. "Dear, sweet Ava please tell me what's wrong? You came home crying and running up the stairs. Now you don't even want to see Johnny. Has he done something?"
Rolling over to face her mother, she told her "No. Not really." She went on to tell her mother about the strange looks and pointing she had received all day. Then she told her about the conversation she overheard in the locker room.
Having been a guidance counselor, Linda has heard these sorts of tales before. "I see. That stinks Sweetheart and it hurts. But you're not the first to be gossiped about and you won't be the last. Now tell me what's really bothering you about this." Because she knows it's not the gossip itself that's troubling her daughter.
With a huge sigh, Ava sat up and explained. "Well for one, it bothers me that Johnny had sex already. And he hasn't said anything about it to me. Why wouldn't he have told me? That's a big deal."
Ah-ha. Linda understands now. "But is it a deal-breaker?" She saw her daughter's face changed slightly. "Have you two ever been in a position to even have a conversation like that yet?"
Picking at a pom pom on her comforter, Ava thought how to answer. "No. But Mom, he told me he loves me. He told me he never loved Ali, that she was basically a means to get over me. Johnny still harbored feelings for me even when he was with her. If he did, then why would he do that? Why would he have sex with her?"
Her mother pulled her to her side and tucked some hair behind her ear. "It sounds like you're saying you don't trust his feelings and his love for you. Let me tell you something. Depending on the man, sex is just sex. His feelings don't have to be involved. If a man has feelings for you before you have sex, then it's a deep connection. If his feelings aren't what they should be beforehand, then it's just sex. Understand Ava?" She saw her daughter nod.
With authenticness, Linda continued. "Ava, if Johnny told you he loves you then you need to believe it. Most men have trouble being vulnerable and opening up, and it's even harder for those who have guarded hearts. You and he are similar in that respect. Let's go back to the sex topic. You have chosen to not have sex until marriage like I did. That's worthy and don't feel ashamed. But I caution you. Don't throw away a great relationship just because your partner has already done so."
She doesn't understand how her mother could say that. "But Mom, you waited until marriage with Daddy. And Daddy waited for you, so how can you say this?"
Well, now she has to set her daughter straight. "Oh, Ava. Why do you think your father waited?"
"Because you waitedâ-"
Her mother interrupted her. "No. Baby, he didn't wait until we married. Before we met your father had already had sex, several times." She saw Ava's face turned to shock. "It's true. I won't lie it bothered me a bit, but then I had to remind myself something. It happened before he knew me and we started dating. He did not cheat on me or disrespect me because it was before us. If I had dumped him because of that, I would have been throwing away something beautiful. It would also have made him feel like crap too. People change Dear. Don't be so mean-spirited and throw something beautiful away just because it's not what you thought beforehand."
Her mother kissed her forehead and got up off the bed. She left her room. Ava sat there thinking about what her Mama said. Johnny didn't betray her, not really. They weren't together at the time. She picked up her phone and dialed his number. When he answered she asked him to meet her at the Malibu house in twenty.
Changing her clothes into something less school-spirited, she threw her hair into a messy bun and grabbed her hobo. Out the door she flew and down the stairs, yelling "I'm going out. I have some business to take care of."
Once her car was started, she backed out of the drive and sped off to her hiding place. When she arrived, relief filled her cause Johnny wasn't there yet. It gives her some time to think over what she wants to say. Inside she turned on the heat and called for pizza delivery, then she waited.
Johnny has no idea what she wants. She turned him away this afternoon and that hurt. He knows she's upset, but he didn't expect her to shut him out. When he parked in front of the house and walked up to the front door, he also didn't expect her to open it and pull him inside. Neither could he have predicted her to kiss him senseless. But he'll take it.
"Wow! That was incredible," he admitted. Looking into her greenish hazel eyes, he asked "Are you OK?"
With a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes, she commented "Let's go to the living room and talk." She took his hand and led him to sit on the sofa, where she recanted what she overheard.
Growing uncomfortable, he knew where this is headed. So he decided to cut her off. "I did have sex with Ali, and I wasn't keeping that from you. We justâ-"
"Haven't had time to discuss it yet. I understand," Ava told him. She doesn't understand better now thanks to her mother.
His head nodded. "Yeah. But look, it was one time and it was awful." He saw her face look confused but also eager for him to continue. "I've never told this to anyone, but you. It happened in February of last year, after the Valentine's dance. She'd been talking about how all of her friends have had sex but she hasn't. To be honest there was nothing romantic about it. She cried the whole time and it really turned me off. It made me feel like, like some monster."
Oh wow! She was not expecting him to say that. And she never would have expected his first time to be like that either.
"Yeah, it was bad." He ran a hand through his blonde hair remembering it. Disturbing at best. "After it was over, I laid on the bed staring up at the ceiling. I thought if this is sex then what's the big deal? The funny thing is she wanted to do it again a few weeks later. So, I tried again but it was still terrible. All I could think of was her crying the first time and how awful it was. I wasn't in the mood. And truthfully I believe that's one of the reasons our relationship crumbled. We just weren't compatible in many ways. You know?"
He locked eyes with her and saw realization and understanding there. She agrees with him. "I know. The two of you weren't compatible. You're too different. Yeah, opposites attract and all, but you have to have the same priorities. I think your priorities are totally different from hers."
Taking her arms, he pulled her into his lap. "But the fact remains I did have sex with her. Please don't hold it against me."
"I don't. Maybe at first, I was upset, but only because you did have sex and that made me sad for reasons I can't explain. However, I'm past it now. I love you and I'm not getting rid of you." She hugged him.
The tension he'd been feeling in his chest dropped off at her words. "Thank God. Ava, you're the only girl I've ever said I love you too. To me, that's more than sex. And if you want to wait to do that, then I'm not going to pressure you. I respect you and I love you too much. All of the love I've saved up, it's obviously been for you."
A few tears leaked out. "Thanks, Honey. I feel the same for you. And thank you for respecting my decision about sex. But Johnny, I'm still really sad."
His arms squeezed her tighter. "If it's because you heard I'm only dating you for sexâ"
Laughing a little, she totally put that to rest. "No. I know you're not. I knew it when I heard it and I know it now too. That's not an issue, at all."
He kissed her head, and his eyes shone brighter. "Good because I told all of the assholes in the locker room I'm dating you cause I love you. Hopefully, by now everyone in the school knows it too."
She pulled back from him. "Wait. You defended me in the locker room?" He's her hero, truly. He fought for her and put her first. That's beautiful. Her heart is so full of him. It isn't her own anymore. It's his.
"Course I did. And I'd do it again if I have to," he told her with confidence. "But Ava why are you still sad?"
Oh yeah, that. "Because one of my friends betrayed me. They shared something private and made it public. That hurts so much." The tears returned.
"That sucks. Life threw you a spinning heel kick to the balls Babe. But don't let it get you down. Keep moving forward. And when you find out who did it, kick ass. Fake friends are the worst. They follow you like a shadow, then leave you in the dark."
They stayed there, holding each other and eating pizza. When the two of them snuggled on the sofa, Ava whispered "You're my person Johnny."
He whispered back "You're my other half. I fit best with you." She's his best friend. "I got you a dumb corsage for your wrist by the way, after you wouldn't see me. I bought it."
A smile formed on her face, although he couldn't see it since he's behind her. This is where she belongs. She fits best with him too. It's way too early to think about the future, but he feels like home.