Chapter 16: Chapter 14

William’s POV

I couldn't take it. I simply couldn't take it.

What did she go through? How the fuck did she survive it all? What did he to do her?

Her injuries told a horrifying story, but I knew that the reality was probably even worse. I was in pain just seeing those injuries. If I had to go through that…

“This is all our fault,” Luke mumbled, making me look at him.

He was pale and he looked like he had been tortured for hours.

“We never asked to see her,” Luke continued. “We never visited. We never called. Maybe if we called…”

His voice broke and he closed his eyes.

I looked at Elijah and my heart broke for him. I never thought I would say that about one of the Caruso men, but here we were. He looked like I felt on the inside. Completely desperate. He was staring in front of himself and his eyes looked empty. He was nothing but a hollow shell of himself.

That was exactly how I felt.

I felt like someone reached inside my chest and pulled my heart out of my body. I felt empty. I felt so fucking desperate.

But most of all, I felt guilty.

I felt so fucking guilty that I just wanted to scream and tear this fucking hospital to the ground. I wanted to fall to my knees in front of her and beg for forgiveness.

But would she ever forgive me? Would she ever love me like I loved her?

I heard footsteps approaching and looked up. Damien walked toward us. His eyes fell on Elijah and he gulped. Something I couldn't recognize flashed in his eyes.

“What did the gynecologist say?” Luke asked as he stood up.

Damien looked at him and clenched his fists.

“She isn’t pregnant,” Damien said. “She will probably never be able to have children due to all the injuries she suffered.”

A hot knife pierced through my chest. I closed my eyes and tried to control the urge to break the chair I was sitting on.

“They will test her for any STDs,” Damien continued, his voice trembling. “She said there is a lot of damage to the tissue. It will take some time until it heals.”

A quiet sob escaped Elijah’s lips. I saw Damien’s hands twitch as he looked at him.

“We started her on a couple of different antibiotics just in case,” Damien said, keeping his eyes on Elijah. “She is also severely malnourished so we will have to work on that.”

“Where is Alexander?” I asked, trying to focus on something else.

I was seconds away from burning the fucking hospital to the ground.

“He is with her,” Damien said, looking back at me. “She refused to let go of him.”

A wave of jealousy washed over me, but I was so fucking happy that she trusted at least one of us.

“Will she stay here?” Luke asked and Damien shook his head immediately.

“No way,” I said. “We are not leaving her here.”

Damien looked at me and nodded.

“I agree,” he said. “I am not comfortable leaving her. She could try to…”

He stopped talking and took a deep breath.

“Run?” Luke asked, furrowing his eyebrows a little.

“He wasn’t talking about that, were you, Damien?” Elijah spoke for the first time. “She could try to take her own life? That is what you meant, wasn’t it?”

Luke gasped. My heart fucking stopped beating.

Elijah was staring at Damien. He looked like he was about to throw up. Damien’s muscles kept clenching. He was gritting his teeth and staring at Elijah.

“She wouldn't do that!” Luke exclaimed. “She escaped those lunatics! She has us now! She wouldn't do that!”

Damien finally looked away from Elijah. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Did you find some injuries on her body that point to that?” I asked, trying to swallow the lump in my throat. “Do you think she tried it already?”

Damien shook his head and sighed.

“We haven’t found anything, but I am just being realistic,” he said. “Look at how she lived. Look at how she was raised. She was beaten and raped daily. She was told some horrible things. She was…”

Damien’s voice broke. He closed his eyes and shook his head.

“Would you want to live like that?” he asked and opened his eyes. “I know that I wouldn't.”

My stomach turned. He was right.

“We have to keep an eye on her,” Damien added. “Her mental health is as important as her physical health.”

“But she is finally out of that house,” Luke mumbled. “She is with her family. We love her. Why would she…”

He stopped talking and sat back down.

“She wouldn't,” he said and looked up at Damien. “She wouldn't do that to us.”

“We are nothing but strangers to her,” Elijah mumbled. “We are just some men who abandoned her. All of that shit happened because of us. We are at fault. She knows that.”

I looked down at my lap and tried to take a deep breath. Elijah was right.

It was our fucking fault.

It was my fucking fault.

I was the oldest. I was the first one who held her. I agreed with my father that James and Elizabeth were a good option. I fucking did that to her.

I should have been the one to reach out. I should have visited her. I should have called her. I should have made sure that the people we gave my child to were doing a good job.

I didn’t do shit and she was injured. She was tortured.

“Oh, honey,” I heard Elijah say.

I looked up and saw Alexander approaching with Sophia sleeping in his arms.

Both Luke and Elijah approached them. They caressed her cheek softly and kissed her.

“Hi, cutie,” my brother said quietly. “I missed you.”

I wished that I could do that. I wanted to take her from Alexander and find a way to hide her under my skin. She would be the safest there. No one could hurt her there. No one could see her there. She would be safe and with me all the time.

I couldn't even fucking touch her. I couldn't even talk to her.

“Can we take her home?” Elijah asked as he ran his fingers through her hair.

Alexander nodded. He looked like he had been to hell and back.

“They gave her some antibiotics and some painkillers,” Alexander said. “The pills put her to sleep.”

“That’s okay,” Elijah mumbled. “She needs sleep anyway.”

I looked at Damien. He was staring at his feet with a pissed-off look on his face. We were always very similar and this situation was a great example of it. He was struggling with being close to her just as much as I did.

We loved her so fucking much, but we had no idea how to show it. We were afraid to. I was scared of rejection. Knowing Damien, he was scared of getting close and then losing her again.

That would never happen, though. We would never lose her again. I wouldn't let that happen. No one would ever take her from me.

Not even Alexander.

I watched as he kissed her temple and leaned his head on hers.

“Can I carry her?” Elijah asked.

Alexander shook his head and tightened his arms around her.

“She will get scared if she wakes up,” Alexander said as he started walking toward the exit.

Elijah sighed and nodded.

I looked at her face as Alexander walked past me. She looked so peaceful and my heart skipped a beat.

I would never let anyone disturb that peace again. She was my number one priority and I would do whatever I had to do to keep her from getting hurt again.