I watched the nurse as she moved around, disconnecting the IV and checking my medicines. A knock on the door distracted her from her task and she moved to open it. A second later, Uncle EJ walked into the room.
I greeted him with a bright smile. He paused and took a deep breath.
"How you doing kiddo?" his voice was gruff. Like he'd been crying for days.
"Never been better," I lied, keeping the smile on my face.
"God I hope that's true"
"It is"
He turned to the nurse.
"Will you please give us a few minutes?" She nodded and exited the room. "Eli-bear" he came forward and wrapped me in a warm embrace. "I'm sorry it took me so long"
"No, I completely understand" I answered carefully placing my left arm around his shoulders.
"I'm sorry about Duchess" I nodded solemnly, feeling my heart clench at her name.
"She saved me. If it wasn't for her, I might have not made it" we fell quiet for a minute.
I knew he was waiting for me to broach the subject, but I didn't know-how.
"The police want to record a statement" I nodded keeping my expression neutral. "Should I let them in?" at my nod, he placed a comforting hand on my forehead and left. A few minutes later, a real smile blossomed in my lips when I saw Inspector Nasir walk into the room.
"Begum Sahiba, how have you been? Alright then, nasty business this."
"I'm fine Inspector Nasir. How was your daughter's wedding?" he gave me a cursory look and sat down on one of the couches.
"It went very well Begum Sahiba, she was very happy"
"That's good"
"Yes, yes... if you don't mind, would you like to start from the...uh how it happened?"
"How I was drugged? Well..."
The interrogation lasted for half an hour and I was exhausted by the end of it. Inspector Nasir had been extremely patient and polite, making sure to keep his questions as objective as possible but recounting the whole ordeal was a taxing task. After my description of the cabin, he closed his notebook and got up.
"Well, I think that's all. We'll submit the documents to the court tomorrow morning. I don't think you'll be needed, especially since you're indisposed"
"Is there a way to keep this private? Can we keep the names under wrap?" I asked, sitting up. He gave me a confused look. Uncle EJ came and stood by my side.
"The warrants have his name on them"
"Would it be too late to change them?"
"Not really, we could put in a special request. Is there a reason to keep this horrible thing private?" yes, my fiancé's sanity.
"It's just better in the long run" Uncle EJ answered for me. He nodded and left the room.
I winced as I turned to face Uncle EJ, "Where is he? Why hasn't he come to see me?"
"He did see you, Elena. He was there throughout the night, outside your door. I think it's better that he maintains his distance. We all need some time to get out of this"
"I want to see him"
"He'll come to you when he's ready," he said, sitting on the bed.
"Please, I know what's going on in his head. I know what his father did and what he said. He needs to hear it from me. Please..." he shook his head. I grabbed his hand and put it on my cheek. "Tell him to come and see me or I will get up and seek him out" Uncle EJ looked at me, his gaze defeated.
"I'll see what I can do" I knew that was the best that would get.
Later during the day, I watched as Feroze announced his victory to the whole country. Ammi Jaan and Hania sat beside me, munching on the chocolates I had received.
"Honestly, you could have been by his side during this" Ammi Jaan muttered as the camera panned towards Aunt Mamo.
"My place is here" I answered looking at the chocolates with envy. "Are you sure I can't have a bite?"
"No. Doctor's orders," Hania said with a wink. I sighed and settled back into the pillows. As soon as Feroze's speech ended, I saw our logo flash on the screen. Hania turned the volume up and we heard our statement being read by the news anchors.
"It's almost like you wrote this" Ammi Jaan said with a laugh.
"Yeah, it sounds like me," I said with a laugh.
"Will Feroze be here on Sunday?"
"He has to tie up some loose ends. He has a coalition in the central provinces but he still has to negotiate here"
"Let's give him a tough time shall we?"
"Oh I plan to," I said with a wicked smile. "I've been on the phone with Jamshed, we're playing hardball"
"Ghulam called me to ask about you. He was wondering if you would attend the meeting"
"Did you tell him anything?"
"No, I invited him for dinner soon," she said with a laugh.
"Subtle" Hania muttered.
"Let's keep my presence a surprise"
"I think you should stay and get some rest" Ammi Jaan interjected.
"No rest for the wicked Ammi Jaan. This is the time to hammer it down. Feroze will be in my court, I need to make sure we protect our interests. I can not trust anyone else. He's a slimeball. Which reminds me, Hania, have you contacted your dermatologist? Can we have my bruises reduced?"
"Yes, he's sending the creams today. They'll take 24 hours to work. Rania already has your outfit planned, something that covers your sling" Hania answered.
"Perfect"
A brief knock sounded on the door and Ahsan peeked in.
"Sorry to interrupt Begum Sahiba, but Major Zaroon is here to see you"
Both Ammi Jaan and Hania jumped up surprised. For the past two hours, they had avoided his name. Every time they thought I was going to mention him, one of them would come up with a distraction. They looked at me now, not knowing how to react. I gave them a small smile and nodded. The door opened wider to let him in.
I had to take a deep breath to stop my expression from shifting. Zaroon looked awful. He had bags under his eyes, his hair was tousled and his expression was haunted.
"Begum Sahiba" he greeted, inclining his head towards Ammi Jaan.
"Zaroon" her warm tone reassured me that she had no ill will towards him. Hania nodded and quickly tried to shove all of the chocolates back in the box.
"I'd like to have some time alone with him" they nodded and walked out of the room.
Silence descended after the door clicked shut.
"Come here" he didn't move from his place. "Come here please?" still no response. "Zaroon, I swear to God, if you don't move, I will," I said, trying to get up. He glared at me but came closer. I gestured towards the chair and after a brief moment of hesitation, he sat down.
"How are you?" I asked, readjusting my shawl around my shoulders. He let out a bitter laugh.
"I should be asking you this. What you went through..."
"How are you?" he looked at me, his eyes haunted. "I know it's a stupid question but it needs to be asked" more silence. I sighed. "Zaroon you can not shut me out. This is not how this works"
"This is not how what works? I was supposed to protect you. My own father harmed you. He was the one behind this whole mess, manipulating all of us. He knew about us and he did not even pause to think of how much pain this would cause me... Even now he would not stop going on and on about how he was doing this for me and mom. It's not even about the greater good anymore!" I let him rant, feeling my heartbreak for him. He needed to get this out.
"And now you ask me about me. What about me? Have you looked at yourself? Forget that, do you even know what you looked like when we ran towards you? When you were lying in the mud? The princess who was showered with flowers and petals was sprawled on the ground!"
"Zaroon"
"Don't. Don't you dare say it's okay. Or that it's not my fault. He had so much disdain for you, for all of this. He had been a part of this whole institution and he was acting like he was on God's mission or something. You can not believe how sorry I am. I couldn't even muster up the courage to face you. If Uncle Ehsan had not told me about your little threat and if I didn't know you, I wouldn't have bothered to show up"
"You would have left me alone? Just like that? How could you do that? You were planning to spend the rest of your life with me!" his head jerked up, shock splattered all over his face. "You're not that smart you know" I whispered with a small laugh.
He stared at me flabbergasted, "I. How did you. When?"
"When I apologized to you" his eyes widened. "That's when I realized I wanted you around for a bit. You were very sneaky by the way" his expression changed into a blank stare.
"That was before all of this" I stared at him, confused.
"I don't understand..."
"What don't you understand? It's pretty simple Elena! My father tried to kill you. How could you think of marrying me after all of this?"
"You're not your father" my voice had gotten louder and more assertive. This was ridiculous.
"But I am. When I saw him standing over you, I did not hesitate for a second" I took in deep breaths in an effort to calm my heart down and not have a panic attack.
"That's a natural reaction, it does not have anything to do with..."
"It has everything to do with him. How would you feel when people would know about us? The heir to Gulzar Mahal is marrying the son of the guy who tried to kill her! It could damage you, it could damage your politics. It might overshadow your social work. People would think you're crazy"
"No one would know" I whispered. This could not be happening. This was slipping out of my hands.
"And who would I be? Someone in the shadows? I want to stand beside you. I want to be with you under the sun"
"I want that too..." he lowered his head and knotted his fingers at the back of his head. His shoulders were shaking. "Are you? Zaroon!" I reached forward to get him to look at me. His eyes were filled with tears.
"I can't do that to you. You don't deserve to live that way" I tried to contain the flood of tears that were threatening to spill out if my eyes. "We'd both be miserable" I could see everything falling apart in front of me.
"So this is it? You're just going to leave? That's it?" the hiccups made the words come out strangled.
"There's no other way" he whispered. "My father has taken everything from me"
We gazed at each other, our hands clasped together, crying. His tortured expression was breaking my heart. I tried to think beyond what I wanted. He was right.
Uncle Azhar had ruined it. He had destroyed his son. He had ruined our relationship, but I was not letting him win. I could not ask him to live a life in the shadows. He was a man of action. It would not be fair to him. At the same time, I could not let him go. One of us had to be the adult here. His pain was devastating and he was hurting in a way I could never understand. I was trying to be pragmatic, but since when has love ever followed logic? I was selfish. I needed him with me.
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