The linked video is the song in this chapter. :) Once again, thank you to all of you who stuck it out and read my book. I'd be happy to know what you think and appreciate your votes.
There is a sequel, A Sugar Summer, that's now completed as well. Go on and add it to your library and let me know what you think! Thanks again for all the great comments. I've had so much fun reading every one.
Chapter forty two
"Ready?" Keira asked with the same smile she'd been wearing since last night when Anika arrived at their cabin door after super.
"Always." Anika forced a smile to please her golden blond friend. Mel however, continued to study Anika with softening eyes.
"Good. I'm hungry." Keira led the way to the cafeteria for an early breakfast.
"When aren't you?" Mel rolled her eyes and gave a soft snort. Keira shrugged her shoulder, not taking any offense as they carried on their way in silence.
Upon entering the dining area, Anika felt eyes train on her as the volume in the room came down to whispers. She wanted to look up from the ground. She wanted to glare at them and snap a witty comment to turn them around. Instead she found herself shrinking in back of Keira who scowled alongside Mel as they walked to their corner in the cafeteria.
One seat had been removed, Anika noticed and her heart immediately tore a little bit more at the reminder of the burden she was. Though her friends tried as hard as they could to forget Anika's past, she still caught them frowning at the back of her head. They hadn't meant to, but they had picked up a habit of walking on eggshells around her.
"I'm getting the food." Anika spoke softly and gave a tired sigh, turning away from her friends and waiting in the line at the serving station. A group of kids sitting closest to her stopped their conversation to throw her speculating gazes before they turned to each other with hushed whispers.
Paranoid, Anika crossed her arms around herself and silently wondered if they knew because it certainly felt like they could see through her. Instead of lingering on the disturbing thought, Anika quickly filled two trays of whatever food she could grab within her reach and took it all back to the table.
For the rest of breakfast, Anika kept quiet as she picked at her cinnamon bun. Not even the sugary white frosting could make her feel better.
"Hey, do you want skip art?" Ivy lightly brushed Anika's arm bringing her from her clouded mind.
"Um..." Anika looked over Ivy's shoulder to see Skinner but no Mel or Keira. Had breakfast already ended? "No. I want to go."
"Alright. But if you don't feel up to it, tell the instructor you don't feel well. Her pet peeve is sick kids." Ivy offered a small smile as they walked up to the art barn.
Anika took a deep breath before entering and unconsciously scanned the open space for Ryleigh's dirty blond hair.
He wasn't there.
The first activity had started with the instructor peering over each delinquents shoulder and assessing their progress. Her eyes would lift to search the room for the artist's subject until they found the face drawn on their "stalker's" paper.
Instead of drawing Ryleigh's face from memory, Anika ignored the instructor's small frown and continued to sketch the lakeshore.
The first activity ended an hour and a half later and Anika began to wonder if Ryleigh was avoiding her. He wasn't at breakfast, but maybe he overslept? He wasn't at art either, but maybe he couldn't remember his schedule and Gelsey wasn't in her office so he couldn't find out where he belonged? A part of her hoped he wasn't avoiding her. It'd pretty hard to do when they had all of their activities together. Anika frowned at the fact. She didn't want him getting into trouble for skipping activities just so he wouldn't have to see her and she doubted Gelsey would allow a schedule change for him. Did she even know that Ryleigh had given up on whatever relationship they had together? Had they been friends? They had kissed, so did that mean they were more than friends? Anika scoffed slightly to herself and went to return the supplies she used back to their shelves. Of course Gelsey knew. By now, everyone had obviously picked up on the unusual quiet air around Anika and the lack of Ryleigh by her side.
After passing on the message to Ivy who was still cleaning up with Skinner that she was heading to lunch early, she left the art barn and briskly walked to the cafeteria. She grabbed an apple and a water before making her way down another winding path to the bon fire pit next to the fields, away from all the curious stares ready to spread more gossip. She would've gone to the beach, but today was a really warm yet surprisingly dry day so the lakeshore would be occupied by other delinquents.
Taking the last bite of her apple, she tossed the core far into the woods for a scavenging animal to find. Maybe a raccoon or a deer.
With a sigh, she stood from her seat on of the logs surrounding a fire pit and made the winding trip back to the bathrooms. Gelsey had allowed for Anika to be excused from any physical activities until she was healed from her concussion and the other angry bruises.
She waited a safe twenty minutes to ensure the canoeing trip left before she wandered down to the beach and sat in the sand. If she couldn't participate in the majority of the activities, than might as well spend the day in the sun down by the lake. Unfortunately her mind wandered to topics she'd rather not think of.
Victoria and the two other girls that attacked her were sent to a juvenile mental health institution but Anika could care less about that. Her mind continued to torture her with Ryleigh's last words. She gave a soft groan and laid out on the beach, ready to take a nice long nap to clear her head.
When she opened her eyes again, the sky was dark and Anika cursed softly as she pulled her aching body to stand upright. Brushing the sand from the backside of her body, Anika guessed that she had missed dinner and growled lowly to herself but supposed that paying the dining hall a visit wouldn't hurt still.
When she approached the largest building in all of Silver Lake camp, Anika was relieved to have walked in and found the cafeteria ladies just starting to clean up. Flashing an apologetic smile, Anika quickly made herself a plate of spaghetti and grabbed a piece of bread before walking back out to a picnic table outside where she ate in silence. She finished in no time, and returned the dish back inside before she walked back to her cabin.
"Hey." Keira was the first to spot her as she pushed the screen door flap aside and entered the fairly small but cozy cabin.
"Hey." Anika offered a small half smile to show that she was fine and the others new well enough to ask. Verbally anyway, their eyes still held concern.
"You coming to the bon fire tonight?" Mel asked, pulling her brush through her fiery bush of red hair one more time before she pulled it back into a short ponytail.
"Yeah. Are we leaving right now?"
"Sure." Ivy hopped up from her place on the bed and tugged Skinner up as well.
"Alrighty then, off we go." Keira smiled over her shoulder at the group before taking the lead and walking out of the cabin. Anika followed after her friends listening to Keira and Skinner's usual playful banter.
That was, until they came closer to the bon fire pit and heard the strum of a guitar.
The group stepped into the semi clearing and their eyes immediately locked onto the origin of the soft sound.
Anika was faintly aware of Keira and Ivy guiding her to their usual seats on a log around a lit fire, but she couldn't tear her eyes away from Ryleigh. The fire danced across the exposed skin from his knees down to his bare feet where his shorts didn't cover and then across his square but narrow shoulders where his tank top ended.
When she first stepped into the circle, Ryleigh's dark blue eyes reflected the flames of the many fires lit in the other circles and reminded Anika of the inky black water at the lake. The darkness also made his dirty blond hair look like a light brown.
He broke eye contact first as he stared down at the neck of the guitar hanging across his midsection from the strap around his neck and back. He picked the first few notes of a song before he switched strategies and started to strum.
Then he started to sing.
"I am insensitive. I have a tendency to pay more attention to the things that I need. Sometimes I drink too much. Sometimes I test your trust. Sometimes I wonder why you stay with me..." Anika held her breath as she scanned the regret clearly written over his face and at that moment she wished he would look up at her so she could look into his eyes. He continued to sing Lee Brice's song, Hard To Love.
"I'm hard to love, hard to love. No I don't make it easy. Well I couldn't do it if I stood where you stood. Hard to love, hard to love and you say that you need me. Well I don't deserve it but I love that you love me good.
"I am a short fuse. I am a wrecking ball; crashing into your heart like I do. You're like a Sunday morning; full of grace and full of Jesus and I wish that I could be more like you." Anika gasped softly at the sheer intense emotion swirling in Ryleigh's eyes as he connected their eyes for a second time that night after he finished the verse.
"I'm hard to love, hard to love. No I don't make it easy. I couldn't do it if I stood where you stood. I'm hard to love, hard to love and you say that you need me. Well I don't deserve it but I love that you love me good. Love me good.
"Girl you've given me a million second chances and I don't ever want to take you for granted. I'm just a man.... I'm just a man.
"Hard to love, hard to love. No I don't make it easy. And I couldn't do it if I stood where you stood. I'm hard to love, hard to love and you say that you need me. Well I don't deserve it but I love that you love me good." he softly repeated the chorus another time and Anika was pulled from her awe as he took the last step towards her until he was within an arms length.
The clearing had gone quiet as they waited for Anika's reaction. She ignored the stares like she had been doing ever since she came back to camp the night before and solely focused on Ryleigh's deep inky blue eyes as they stared into her own grey ones.
"Anika..." he breathed her name and took a seat beside her. "Anika, I'm so sorry." She closed her eyes, preparing for the worst and in front of everyone at that.
"Please forgive me." Anika opened her eyes with a mixture of hurt and confusion swirling in the grey shallow depths.
Ryleigh dropped his hands in his lap, wanting so badly to take Anika's hands in his own but denying himself the comfort that was the feeling of her smooth skin against his.
"I shouldn't have left the hospital room because I know you've been beating yourself up. What I don't understand is why you never came looking for me yelling threats and all."
"You were avoiding me." Anika whispered, shifting her eyes to the ground.
Ryleigh smiled and chuckled making Anika glance back up at him.
"I wasn't avoiding you, Anika. I was, well, learning, this." he gestured to the guitar in his lap with a sad smile.
"I've been in my cabin for the past two days to learn what I did tonight." Anika stayed quiet but held his eyes with her own.
Ryleigh exhaled softly through his nose and dared to brush a strand of Anika's black hair behind her ear. The fire continued to throw its glow into the glossy strands and he found it nearly impossible to look away from the satiny strands.
"I'm sorry if it seemed like I was avoiding you, or if you thought that I wouldn't like you anymore because that's not the case. Actually, I think I may very well be in love with you because of how strong you are. When Gelsey said that we both had troubled pasts, I thought, how can this girl have a past like mine? She smiles and laughs. And she's so bloody abusive like the rest of them." Ryleigh joked and purposely sent a look over Anika's shoulders to where Keira was standing with the rest of the group. She scowled at him while the rest had small smiles pulling at the edges of their lips. Ryleigh let his own smile widen for a second before it dimmed to a frown.
"And then you told me everything that happened and... I was angry. Not at you, but at everyone else that had ever hurt you." he added quickly.
"I realize that I've been a jerk to you from the start but after spending the mornings around camp together, I wanted to get to know you."
Anika felt her chin being lifted as Ryleigh brushed his thumb along the skin of her jaw.
"Why? Why would you ever want to know me? Why even like me? I know I don't." she whispered.
Ryleigh gave her a softened smile. "Because Anika.... I'm a bit crazy like that. And I know that I'm not any easier to like, but I want to try. I want to be there for you. I want you to be my girlfriend. I want you to need me as much as I need you."
Anika stared at him with unblinking eyes, too afraid to blink with the tears swimming at the bottom of her vision. It was tempting to just fall into his arms. To allow herself to be vulnerable and take comfort in his protection. Anika wanted to feel his arms wrapped around her and her body craved for another one of his warm kisses that made her forget the feeling of her skin crawling with fear and disgust. She wanted to be loved and be in love.
"So Anika, will you be crazy enough to love me back and be my girlfriend?"
Anika's heart jumped into her throat and she knew right then that her voice was lost or she'd sound like she was being strangled if she were to talk. Instead she settled for nodding with a growing smile of her face.
Ryleigh let out a relieved sigh and quickly slipped out of the guitar strap before gently placing the instrument down and pulling Anika into a hug. He kissed her hair once, twice, three times before pulling back to smile down at her.
"Well then..." Ivy giggled when Anika snapped her head around to look at her friends sharing the log beside her. She was thankful for it being dark so no one could see the dark blush that was creeping up to her cheeks.
"Alright, I'm good now." Ryleigh lightly draped an arm over Anika's shoulders and coaxed her into his side where she happily snuggled up to him. Chuckles erupted from every fire pit circle as the other delinquents eagerly gossiped on what just happened.
"You know, I had a feeling you liked him from the very start." Keira announced proudly. Mel rolled her light caramel eyes as the rest of the group chuckled.
"Is that right?" Ryleigh asked with an amused smirk directed towards Anika. She playfully glared at him before giving his chest a solid thwack with the palm of her hand.
"Keira you were right." Anika glanced over at the golden blond girl before looking back up to Ryleigh who had a victorious smile on his face.
"He's cute an' all but he's not exactly the brightest one to know when to stop talking." Anika chuckled at Ryleigh's pout.
Keira smirked, "I told you girl. The guys got a hot bod but a bum of a personality." Anika laughed at Keira's repeated words from the first day she met the slightly insane golden blond haired girl.
She continued to laugh and smile for the next month and a half beside her friends and Ryleigh until the summer was over and they had to part ways for a little while.
Gelsey and Genevieve created a program for delinquents who wanted to return as mentors and pitched the idea to the group.
Nothing about their futures was certain, except the fact that their summers were going to be spent at Camp Silver Lake. The place where their stories intertwined and their chapters would continue to be written.