Chapter nine
"Let's get started shall we?" Gelsey welcomed everyone into her circle. The girls told Anika that she always let the kids speak about whatever they wanted and not just about their problems. Therefore, this was the best circle to be in.
"When's the party going to be?" a kid asked Gelsey.
"Soon. The first week of July most likely."
"Party?" Anika bent over to whisper to Keira who just shook her head and jerked her nose in Gelsey's direction to the right of them. Only when the flames grew high enough to obscure and sometimes hide Ryleigh's intense stare on her face did she begin to relax.
"For those of you who are knew to us this year, every year we have a party in the middle of the summer. Music, dancing and I'll even let some bad language slide. Just don't walk all over me or you'll spend the rest of your night in your cabin, alone. It's a kind of reward for behaving. So don't ruin it for yourselves or anyone else." Gelsey explain, giving each kid a hard look.
"Onto other things... As you have noticed, we have two new faces to our circle. Anika and Ryleigh, welcome to our bon fire night." Gelsey inclined her head as she smiled at Anika and then Ryleigh
"Would you two like to say anything to start things off? Get some things off your chest, so to speak?" some of the kids snickered, as they no doubt remembered the fight yesterday while others flicked their eyes back and forth between them. The flames wavered, creating an opening in the fire's glow long enough so that Anika could read Ryleigh's challenging smirk.
"Yeah, what kind of guy hits a girl?" Anika glared at him.
His smirk dropped as it was replaced with a dark scowl. "I was trying to contain your flailing arms so you wouldn't hurt yourself."
"Hurt myself? I'm not the one that ended up with a bloody nose. But that's not what I was talking about." Anika waved her hand in the air. "I was referring back to the car ride when you slammed my head into the window. I was sleeping for Pete's sake."
"I apologized for that already. Besides, you would've done the same thing if you woke up to some creepy girl's arm on your chest. You probably made me lay my head down in your lap." he accused with a hostile smirk.
"Oh that's right, you apologized. Well isn't that swell." sarcasm rolled off Anika's tongue and ignored his other jabs.
"You're in for vandalism, but maybe that's just a cover for the real reason."
"Oh thank god. Please stranger, please tell me why I'm here?" Anika threw her hands around, gesturing to the ground.
"You probably were hitting the same drugs your mother was on. Only she died and now you're miserable with survivor's guilt." he all but shouted. Anika's heart stopped as she felt the weight of more stares from the surrounding circles looking over at her.
"Ryleigh, that's enough-" Gelsey tried to cut in with a frown over at him.
"Oh, was I not supposed to say anything about that? Mommy had a little trouble staying away from the pills. Genevieve said so herself." he tilted his head to the side, innocence clouding his voice as his lips pulled into a satisfied smirk. If there wasn't a fire pit separating them, Anika wouldn't have hesitated to beat his face in. Anika was up on her feet, trying to contain her anger so she didn't yell across the circle.
"She was not a mother. I hate that woman. And I hate you, you conceited scum dealer!" Anika blinked back angry tears as she stepped over the log she was seated on and tried not to run away from him as she walked at a brisk pace.
"Here we go with the dealer thing...." she heard Ryleigh groan.
"Just shut up!" Keira's shout faded as Anika ran to her cabin once she was out of sight of everyone.
Angry tears streamed down her face as she threw aside the door net and sat on her bed. Thoughts of how she hated her mother ran through her mind. She despised how the woman stopped caring about her and her own health. She loathed her mother's addiction and the nights that she wouldn't come to their abandoned building because she was high as a kite a few streets over, yet she still didn't know where she was. But most of all, she hated how her mother's death could make her feel so vulnerable. And to make matters worse, Ryleigh exposed one of her secrets tonight.
Anika's breathing sped up and to keep anyone from hearing, she dropped her head into her pillow and screamed until all the air was out of her lungs. Then took a deep breath....
And did it again.
And again.
A splitting headache pounded in her skull as Anika barely made it out of the cabin before she retched up the contents in her stomach behind a tree. Collapsing to her knees, images flashed back to her of the four men in the alleyway. Her hands came up to cover her ears and she retched again.
Someone swore softly behind her and the sound of their running feet crouched in the leaves. A cold hand pulled Anika's hair back as she dry heaved.
"Breathe. It's okay. Let it all out." Mel whispered comforting sounds and rubbed Anika's shoulder as her hands came down to fist themselves in the dirt and hold herself up.
"What a loser. To say those things in front of everyone. That wasn't cool what he did." Mel shook as her own anger quickly rose. Anika stayed quiet and rolled back on her feet so she stood over Mel who was still kneeling.
"Need anything?" Mel asked tentatively, watching as Anika wiped her raw cheeks free of tears.
"No." Anika couldn't meet Mel's worried light caramel eyes that glowed in the moonlight above the trees. "You didn't have to leave the bon fire."
Mel scoffed and stood up, brushing the dirt from her knees. "Of course I had too. Number one, to at least make sure you were here. And number two, Gelsey knows me way too well and thought it best if I left before I killed him myself."
"Why did I start it? Why did I think that he would keep his mouth shut about it?" Anika leaned her head back on the tree's bark.
"It was a low blow. No one should tell us your story besides you."
"You want to know everything?" Anika asked hoarsely.
"Only if you want to tell. But trust me, it does help if you talk about it. Keeping it to yourself for long periods of time does this to you. And that'll make your stay here hell." Mel stepped forward to wipe a stray tear away.
"I don't know if I want the others to know." Anika looked down in guilt.
"You can tell them when you're ready. I won't say a thing." Mel promised.
Taking a deep breath, Anika slowly nodded and began to give the red head bits of information she's never said aloud herself.
"You know my mom was heavy drug user. She didn't come back one night. So I went to look for her. God damn her, she still had the stupid needle in her arm. She couldn't give two shits about me. She probably didn't even know her own freaking name." she choked on a dry sob.
"So you hate Ryleigh because he's a drug dealer?"
"Because the reason he's here makes it real. And I hate her and I hate him." Anika's watery grey eyes met Mel's caramel ones as she tried to bring back her composure.
"You feel weak in front of him. Because even though he has no real connection to your mother, his dealings remind you of her."
"I hate her." Anika whispered again.
"Don't take this the wrong way, but... more than a good seventy percent of us here have drug problems they're trying to clean up. You can still hate him for being the jack wagon he is, but you can't hate everyone. Most of them are trying to change for the better. That's all I'm saying."
"I understand." Anika sniffled. "And I won't but I'm not going to hold back on him."
"I know you won't. And that's what mostly everyone was hoping for. Ryleigh's a jerk that needs to be kicked in the head a few times. We're all routing for you." Mel reached out to squeeze one of Anika's shoulders.
"God, maybe this camp is making me worse. I never used to be this violent." Anika chuckled softly.
"Nah, sometimes it's good to snap every once in a while. We all do at some point." Mel grinned at her, secretly relieved that Anika was slowly coming back to her usual self.
"Okay, so I won't take anything you say to heart." Anika joked.
"Hey, you'd be mad all day if you had to put up with Keira and Skinner if you'd know them as long as I have." Mel defended, eyes narrowing playfully.
"I guess you're right." Anika grinned sleepily.
"Well, let's go inside. By the fire there weren't this many annoying bugs." Anika laughed as the grumpy Mel returned, swatting at the said buzzing bugs harassing her ears. The two of them climbed into their cots and settled in for the night.
"And Mel? Thank you for taking care of me." Anika whispered knowing full well the red head would hear her in the middle of the silence before she gave up on trying to keep her eyes open and fell into a much needed rest.