T/N: This chapter is told from Lizzieâs POV
***Â (flashback)
âYou didnât show any shame, did you?â
âWell, not at all. Your Highness escorted me himself. Also, he proposed to me in the flower garden!â
âWhat?â
Why does mother look like that?
I didnât do anything wrong though.
My motherâs eyes began to scan me from top to bottom.
Upon seeing that, I checked my outfit and my face was burning.
Oh, my God! The ladylike white dress was stained in brown and green.
I couldnât lift my face because I was embarrassed to have shown Leon something like this.
âIâm sorr-⦠Ahhh!â
My mother exploded before me..
At first, I didnât know what had happened, so I sat there blankly for a long time.
Tears began to fall down and my cheeks stung.
Oh, Iâve been slapped by my mother.
Instead of touching my burning cheeks, I crawled to my mother and begged for forgiveness. Even though I had been told that a lady in this outfit would be unforgivable. It was all my fault.
ââ¦Isolde.â
âIâm sorry, Mother. I was wrong. I wonât do it again.â
âFor now, on the documents in your fatherâs office, you and his highness are officially engaged, you donât want a marriage annulment, do you?â
My mother started to say difficult things. I couldnât understand what it meant, but I got down on my knees and lowered my head to the floor. What if mother tightens the corset again? Will I have to wear high-heeled shoes again tomorrow?
âBut our Isoldeâ¦is blessed with great honor that she was born as an empress. How can you not know how lucky you are, itâs the greatest happiness you can have as a woman!â
The only time my mother respected me was when she was really, really frustrated.
It was a big deal.
I inhaled and exhaled slowly to stop my body from shaking. My heart started beating and pounding uncontrollably again.
âHow dare you show him such a disgraceful appearance, let alone winning his heart! All my education has been in vain! Whatâs that weed thingy in your hand?! What are you going to do if you get grass poison on your finger? You are this old, yet⦠!â
âHi-his Highness gave it to me!â
â⦠so now youâre lying?!â
That night I was whipped again.
It was painful, but I endured it again and again when I heard that I would get hit twice as much if I cried.
My heart ached.
I was telling the truth, itâs really Leon who gave it to me. Why didnât she believe me?
My legs hurt so much.
I couldnât feel anything more.
I couldnât remember anything from some point on.
I was lying in bed when I opened my eyes.
My mother was next to me.
Hiccups.
I was so surprised that I had a hiccup.
My mother gave me a glass of water.
Hiccups, hiccups. I drank all the water, but the hiccups didnât stop.
Itâs a shame that a Lady hiccups in front of others, but I was petrified once again because the hiccups didnât stop.
ââ¦what on earth are you lacking?â
But my mother gave me a deep sigh instead of scolding me.
What should I do? My mother must be sad that Iâm not a great lady.
âLook at this room. This carpet is made from the fur of a white bear that lives only in that northern country, itâs very precious. The wallpapers were all silk woven from cobwebs, the tables were made entirely of marble, and even the bookshelves were made of white wood, which is said to only grow one tree per forest. And that isnât all! Do you know how many people hang on to what you eat and what you wear? I made you live without any shortcomings, but why are you still lacking? you are⦠.â
âIâm sorry, Mother.â
I donât need a marble table or a bearâs fur carpet.
I wanted to see my mother smile.
I just want my mother to hug me.
âI wonât make a mistake next time.â
ânext time? Do you think there will be another chance? Listen carefully, Isolde. You are going to be the empress. Yet you have no idea how strict the royal etiquettes are! Everything I do is for you. Please understand this motherâs heart. Huh?â
Sadness emerged on my motherâs face. I nodded.
âOkay, mother. I will never do that again.â
So please smile again.
please hug me.
Please call me your good daughter.
At that moment, my mother smiled at me and hugged me tightly.
But, huh?
Strange.
Itâs a completely different feeling from when Leon hugged me. It felt suffocating.
Fortunately, the flower ring he gave me took the place of the most precious ring in my jewelry box. It had already withered a bit, but I liked the flower ring more than the diamond, the sapphire or ruby ring.
And I wanted to become an adult quickly. If I become the official Crown Princess, I can live in the Imperial Palace. If I go to the Imperial Palace, Leon will be there. Since Leon is the Crown Prince, heâs very busy, so he canât always be with me. Still, itâs nice to think that we could be in the same space.
Oh and, maybe I wonât be hit with a stick anymore!
But at the same time, I was worried about Leon.
Could it be that Leonâs actually getting whipped, too? Would he also be practicing walking with a book on his head every day?
So I wrote a letter to Leon.
I wrote the seasonal greeting according to the etiquette and wrote âDearâ at the bottom.
But my letter couldnât reach Leon.
âDid your mother teach you that way?â
Itâs impossible for a Lady to send a letter first.
My father rebuked me and burned my letter with the entire envelope.
Itâs sad, but Dad is always right, so probably I was wrong this time too.
Iâm a lady who will be the empress in the future. I should be ashamed of myself. I have to grow up to be a great lady who is perfect at everything.
Nonetheless, I secretly wrote a letter in my heart without my father and mother knowing and whispered to the star over the window.
What a wonderful time I spent walking in the garden with you.
How miraculous it was to have you in the spring scenery I saw.
When I sat on the grass, it felt so cozy, and the wind had a sweet scent I had never smelled before, and everywhere I looked was filled with colors I had never seen before.
The moment you put the ring on, did your heart pound like mine, did your face also felt like burning?
I asked the stars to ask him for me whether he could teach me what joy is like and what happiness is.
I donât know if sending a letter to the stars is something a good lady should do, but I prayed earnestly for my letter to reach Leon.
Leon, you make me happy.
Being by your side, let me know what happiness is.