Chapter 355: Chapter 356

Returning from the facility tour, I entered the barn where Mr. Kim, the president, was rolling up his coat sleeves and putting on his work gloves.

“Could you help me clear this area?” he asked.

“Sure!”

“We need to clean up before winter comes. The little ones tend to slip on this mess,” he explained, sweeping away the hay and various debris scattered across the floor.

We had to tidy up quickly; families were coming for a ranch experience soon.

Together with the reporter, we planned to cover the event and highlight the day’s best moments.

“The children’s laughter is the heart of a joyful ranch experience, isn’t it? La-la-la-la!”

The script for the recording was set in stone.

It reminded me of how lifestyle programs introduce restaurants, starting with a shot of customers lined up outside.

Then, with overly dramatic expressions, the patrons would exclaim, “Wow, this is to die for!” as they gave a thumbs up.

Monday’s segment with reporter Min Hyojin was no different, following a set pattern: “Visit an unfamiliar place – Learn about eco-friendly farming – Help out at the experience corner.”

We were cleaning the barn diligently, preparing for the last part of the show.

“Don’t come any closer! I told you to stay away!”

Turning my head, I saw Rihyuk with his palms out, glaring at a cow.

It was a pitiful sight.

The cow seemed amused, merely staring back blankly.

Sighing in defeat, Rihyuk gave up his futile intimidation.

Just as he reached under the fence with his gloved hand to remove some debris, the cow attempted to lick him with its pink tongue.

“Yikes!”

Rihyuk recoiled as if every hair on his body stood on end, wiping the sweat from his brow.

He looked unnecessarily heroic, like a warrior gasping for breath after a duel with the final boss.

“Ah, that thing! I need to remove it!” he complained, hopping from foot to foot.

He wanted to remove the debris but was terrified of being licked by the cow.

Jiho approached and asked, “What’s he doing?”

“Rihyuk just lost to a cow,” I replied.

Silence.

“Where are you going?”

“I don’t want to be edited out alongside such a bad joke.”

“Hey!”

“Ho~”

With a wink, the youngest member grabbed a sack and ran off.

When I looked back at Rihyuk, he seemed to have made up his mind, bracing himself for something worse than being licked by the cow.

“Sir.”

“…”

“Could you help me with this?”

He was asking for my assistance.

“Are you that scared of being licked by the cow?”

“Of course not! I’m not scared of being licked at all! I just hate not knowing when it will happen,” he retorted.

“Rihyuk, you’re such a good sport.”

“Just hurry up and remove it, please.”

As I approached, the cow backed away with a snort, as if to say, “I’m not interested in you.”

Somehow, that boosted my confidence.

Jiho’s eyes widened, and he shouted to Mr. Kim, who was pushing a sack, “Boss! Look! Is it because he’s born in the year of the Rooster?”

“Indeed.”

“Oh my! The cow is treating him like it’s just another chicken!”

Even reporter Min Hyojin joined in, and the three of them started making jokes about zodiac compatibility with cows.

Our child, who hated blood type and zodiac personality theories more than anything, shivered uncontrollably.

“Stay strong,” I told him as the sound of cleaning continued.

At first, everyone was laughing, but as the work dragged on, we all began to focus.

Scrub, scrub.

As we scrubbed the floor with brushes, Min Hyojin broke the silence.

“It’s too quiet with just cleaning. Shall we sing a work song or something? We do have a singer right here, after all.”

“Great! Great!”

“Boss! Do you have a favorite song?”

Mr. Kim, the boss, shook his head.

“I don’t really listen to music much.”

“Why not start now? We’re known as the human jukebox.”

“Sounds good.”

“I’ve been practicing trot music a lot since I’m visiting my hometown. Tell me your song request!”

The boss scrubbed the brush vigorously, humming in approval.

“But can I request a song from someone else?”

“…Ah.”

Everyone laughed heartily at the sight of the youngest employee, slightly sulking while squatting and scrubbing the floor.

Bijoo asked,

“Then, who would you like to request a song from?”

“The young man growing leeks. I have a thing for deep voices.”

“Alright.”

Junghyun waved his mop in the air.

Swish, swish.

The mop flung water droplets in all directions with such force, it was like helicopter blades.

“Hey! Hey!”

“Who told you to splash mop water!”

Junghyun laughed warmly, setting down the mop, and asked the boss,

“What song would you like to hear?”

“Not for me.”

The boss pointed towards the cows, who were gazing at the humans.

“A song suitable for them.”

“For the cows?”

“The British did a study, you know. They say if you play classical music or any music to cows, they produce more milk.”

“The British sure do a lot of research.”

As we chuckled, Junghyun, scratching the back of his head, looked at the cows.

“Not sure what song cows would like, so I’ll just rap as I usually do.”

“Oooooh! Junghyun’s rap!”

The reporter announced to the camera,

“Ladies and gentlemen! For the first time in my hometown, an idol will rap for cows!”

“Wowwww!”

We clapped and cheered, and then Junghyun turned to me.

“Bro, give me a beatbox.”

“Okay.”

The younger ones clapped like seals, and I stood up.

Junghyun gestured for a signal when ready, then took a deep breath.

“What are you doing?”

“I think the audience needs to focus first.”

“…?”

While the camera director was capturing Junghyun’s solo shot, our rapper kept inhaling sharply.

The cows were leisurely doing their thing, while the humans watched, puzzled.

“Hup, hup.”

Junghyun sucked in the air like a genie from a lamp.

Next to him, Jiho commented, “He’s really enjoying that air,” making the reporter burst into laughter.

Bijoo blinked and said,

“Isn’t that something kids used to do in elementary school?”

“…What?”

“You know, pretending to burp as a joke.”

“…Junghyun!”

Just as I was about to scold him, Junghyun spread his arms wide.

“…?”

Then, with the solemnity of a singer performing a heavenly aria, he opened his mouth.

Moooomooooo-

Thankfully, it wasn’t a burp.

But it was an uncanny imitation of a cow’s moo, leaving us all staring in stunned silence.

Junghyun smiled warmly and raised his hand.

Moooomoooooo-

And at that moment,

The cows, who had been preoccupied, paused and began to turn their heads towards Junghyun.

Murmurs and rustling.

I couldn’t quite describe it in cow terms, but their tails were swishing energetically.

As the cows began to gather near the fence, I couldn’t help but wonder.

“What on earth is happening?”

The boss fell on his backside, shocked, and reporter Min Hyojin looked utterly bewildered. We were all the same, staring dumbfounded at Junghyun, who was politely bowing to the bovine audience.

Silence hung in the air for about three seconds.

Then, laughter erupted so fiercely that filming had to be paused.

After the laughter swept through the barn like a storm, the camera director couldn’t contain himself the moment he captured Junghyun on film.

“Phew… Phew-hew…”

Hunched over with the ENG camera on his shoulder, he looked like a striped beetle because of his padded jacket.

Reporter Min Hyojin, her face full of mirth, said, “Director, just laugh!”

And with that, he laughed heartily, his body shaking as he muttered ‘cow, cow…’

We were no different. We laughed so hard that even the slight chill inside the barn seemed to vanish completely.

“Ah, ah… Bro, my stomach hurts too much.”

Our main dancer, usually unshaken by rigorous practice, complained of aching abs, still sobbing nearly five minutes after the incident.

Rihyuk and Jiho were patting each other’s backs, crying as if trying to squeeze out tears, and I too fell backward, laughing while crouched down.

Only Junghyun looked on, wondering why everyone was making such a fuss.

“Was it really that funny?”

“Weren’t you laughing while doing it?”

“No, not really…”

Junghyun blinked and asked.

“But I did well, right, bro?”

“You did incredibly well.”

“I won the role of the Cow Prince in a creative play competition back in elementary school with this.”

“The Cow Prince?”

“Yeah, we wrote the script. It’s about an unhappy prince who becomes a joyful cow and sets off to make music.”

It was an unbelievable tale, how he donned a cow costume and the audience cheered when he finally played the sound of freedom.

I quickly turned to check the camera and breathed a sigh of relief.

Filming had momentarily stopped.

“Alright, let’s try to hold back the laughter. Let’s start filming again!”

After the reporter clapped her hands to refocus our attention, we stood back in the center of the barn.

The dairy cows still watched Junghyun intently.

Bijoo asked, “The cows seem really curious, don’t they?”

“It’s like if your pet dog or cat suddenly started saying ‘mussel!’ ‘mussel!’ in human language.”

“I’m genuinely curious about what all this means to the cows.”

While discussing whether to have mussel soup for dinner, I went over to stand by Junghyun.

“Junghyun, you didn’t prepare anything weird, did you?”

“Since I couldn’t think of an impromptu rap, I decided to quote a sentence from a book Rihyuk was reading recently.”

“Ah, got it. Okay.”

Reassured there was a reference, I nodded and smiled broadly.

“Here we go, New Black’s first ‘Cow Theater’ tour! A performance with the dairy cows of the Thousand-Year Ranch!”

“That guy really goes all out, even though he hates being embarrassed.”

I shouted with a laugh.

“Today’s choreography will be led by Rihyuk, who’s been eyeing the main dancer’s spot.”

“Wowww!”

“Rihyuk! Rihyuk!”

Even the boss joined in, chanting ‘Rihyuk!’ as Rihyuk appeared, his ears turning red with pride.

As Rihyuk made his entrance, the cows showed even more interest.

Meanwhile, I opened my mouth in time with Junghyun’s signal and added a ‘pooch-pooch’ beat.

Junghyun smiled warmly at the cows.

“A~ What’s up Cows”

As he laid down a rap intro that felt like ‘Everybody dancing tonight,’ everyone clapped along.

Junghyun raised his fist.

“Listen”

“Cows of the world, unite!”

It felt like a rap plotting a bovine rebellion.

“This? Is it this?”

Rihyuk and I exchanged glances, our expressions turning urgent at the familiar reference.

“Hey! Hey!”

“This guy’s gone crazy! For real!”

While the director and the writer burst into uncontrollable laughter, Rihyuk and I quickly covered Junghyun’s mouth.

I gestured with my hands, cutting through the air, and said, “Let’s please edit this part out!”

“What is it? What’s so funny?”

Once Rihyuk and I revealed the original content to the others, everyone erupted into laughter.

Jiho’s eyes widened as he asked, “What? So it’s from the book Rihyuk was reading?”

“It’s not that! No!”

As we pressed him, Rihyuk’s face turned red, and he began to speak faster, flustered. “It’s a source from the history of the Soviet Communist Party!”

“Do books even have sources these days?”

“No, it’s not…”

Rihyuk’s face transformed into a tomato.

“Not that kind of source! I’m talking about ‘history’ (史) and ‘to consider’ (料)! You fool! That’s why you only scored 69 in Korean history!”

Silence fell, and it seemed as if the echo of ‘69 points, just 69 points’ was reverberating off the youngest’s face.

At that moment, our laughter burst forth uncontrollably.

“Ah, don’t laugh, guys!”

“Hahaha!”

“Just you wait! I’ll ace the test this month and get a level 1!”

As Jiho rolled his eyes, we clapped and laughed even harder.

“What’s going on? What is it?”

Reporter Min Hyo-jin, previously unaware of the situation, joined in the laughter after hearing our detailed explanation.

After cleaning the barn, we assisted with an hour-long experiential program.

“Wowww!”

Preschoolers and elementary students who came with their families pointed at us excitedly inside the barn.

“New Black! New Black!”

“Kids, you should be surprised by the cows, not us. See the cows over there?”

“Wowww!”

“No, not the tall guy next to the cow. Look at the cow!”

“Wowww!”

No, they should be amazed by the cows.

They were as excited as if they had seen a famous kids’ YouTuber.

The parents said with a smile, “Sometimes they watch New Black videos because they find them fun.”

“Our videos?”

We exchanged looks with our younger siblings.

‘Isn’t that harmful media for kids?’

‘It must be quite damaging.’

A little girl, about six years old, pointed at me.

“One-legged bicycle!”

“Alright! Shall we go meet the cows?”

The children followed us closely, looking up in awe and exclaiming, “Wowww!”

They were too adorable.

Perhaps because of the children, the parents also asked us to take photos with them after the program ended.

“Could we take a photo later?”

“Of course, with the kids…”

“No, with us.”

The parents cautiously asked for solo shots, taking turns to speak up, which made us all laugh.

After completing the barn tour with the visiting families, we spent time cooking with milk, cheese, butter, and other ingredients at the restaurant built inside the ranch.

“Wowww…”

“When you sprinkle the cheese, do it like this, broadly and evenly.”

As Bizu demonstrated how to make pizza, the children gasped in amazement, and the parents took out their phones to take notes.

Reporter Min Hyo-jin cheered in front of the camera.

“Wowww! Can you see this finished pizza? It looks really delicious.”

“Wowww!”

“Shall we see everyone’s reactions as they taste?” I suggested, watching as the family sliced up the pizza Bijou had made. They took bites, their eyes lighting up with delight, thumbs raised in approval.

One of the mothers widened her eyes, her mouth forming the unmistakable shape of genuine enjoyment. It was as if a cooking manga’s background music should start playing at any moment.

The children were in awe.

“Wow, this doesn’t taste anything like what Mom made just now!”

“Su-yeon, be quiet.”

“It’s delicious! It tastes like something you’d order!”

Bijou smiled happily at the children’s sincere compliments, encouraging them to eat more. That’s when Min, the reporter, turned to us.

“How about the members of New Black try some and share your impressions?”

“Of course!”

I then picked up a slice of Bijou’s pizza. To help promote the ranch, I bit into a cheese-laden piece, stretching it dramatically.

“Mmm~”

As I savored the flavor, my siblings scattered around, pretending to look for something that wasn’t there. The reporter tilted his head in confusion.

“Did you see that?”

“…?”

“The flavor is so good, five could be eating and four could disappear without notice.”

The owner and the reporter clapped their hands in satisfaction, thoroughly pleased.

As we wrapped up the experience, we drank milk for dessert and participated in an event with the reporter.

“Alright, children! New Black and my hometown are hosting the first Milk Flavor Expression Contest!”

“Taste the milk and the person who best describes the flavor will win a prize. You’ll get cheese made right here on this ranch.”

“And a jewel ring you can drink from!”

The children gasped in excitement at the sight of the jewel rings on Jun-hyeon’s fingers.

After taking sips of milk, the children exclaimed their delight.

Then, our youngest member took a sip of milk and shivered, saying like the final line of a commercial.

“Moo~”

As the parents and the owner applauded, I said with a laugh,

“Sadly, it looks like we’ll have to take one of the rings.”

“This one’s ours~”

And at that moment,

The children began to cry.

“No, this isn’t right…”

As the recording descended into chaos, the production team looked on, dumbfounded.n/o/vel/b//in dot c//om

At the Yeouido PBS Broadcasting Station.

The main PD, along with the assistant directors and writers of “Now, My Hometown,” gathered in the conference room with serious expressions.

“Let’s watch it one more time.”

“Okay.”

The footage of New Black’s recording played.

It was filled with moments that would make anyone laugh, but the production team was at a loss.

“No…”

Someone said.

“I wondered how we’d fill 40 minutes after editing, but this…”

“Have you ever seen anything like this?”

“I’d only heard about it from other PDs. They’ve turned a lifestyle information show into weekend entertainment…”

At first, the assistant director had timidly brought the rough cut without subtitles, causing a stir and confusion.

But after watching it, everyone understood why it was so hard to decide what to cut.

“It’s a shame to compress it to just 15 minutes,” one assistant director said earnestly.

“It’s like ordering pork and suddenly getting a platter of special beef cuts.”

“If we’re making comparisons, it’s like having to throw away half of perfectly cooked specialty cuts.”

“What a waste.”

Amidst the production team’s characteristic pastoral banter, the main PD spoke up.

“For now… let’s extend the New Black segment from 15 to 20 minutes.”

“Okay.”

He looked at the responsible PD with sympathetic eyes.

“You’ve worked hard. It must have been tough with just one camera.”

“Yes… The cameraman said these guys just can’t be captured with a single camera.”

“From now on, whoever is recording with New Black should use two to three cameras.”

After much thought, the main PD made a decision.

“Since our main audience is the elderly, let’s tone down the noise a bit.”

“Right. The audio was so loud that I worried it might startle the elderly.”

“As for the rest… I’ll discuss this with Lemon Entertainment. They have the know-how for such things. It seems more fitting for the behind-the-scenes rather than the main broadcast since it’s full of things young people would like.”

“Really, thanks to you, I’m trying all sorts of new things.”

The production team of my hometown show burst into laughter at the unprecedented appearance of the volume fairies.

Work had increased, but it was a curious and interesting change that had come after a while.

I wasn’t sure how this would draw people’s reactions, but I was certain it was a positive change.

That’s when the PD asked the assistant director.

“By the way, where did NewBlack go after the shooting? What’s he up to?”

“He said he was going to eat… Even during our farewell, he was singing with the reporter, making quite the scene, but then he suddenly started talking about food and looked so downcast, I didn’t get to ask.”

“Ah, he must be tired.”

The production crew chuckled softly, saying, “He must be tired after expending so much energy.”

However, contrary to the production team’s speculation, NewBlack wasn’t downcast for the reason they thought.

“…”

Yongin City, Gyeonggi Province.

From the morning news in Suwon to a recording at a ranch in Hwaseong, and now a popular food alley in Yongin.

We were the members scanning the list of famous local restaurants given to us by the Supple members.

“The original beef bulgogi house…”

Every time we tried to step into a restaurant, the eyes of dairy cows haunted me.

“That place is known for the best beef bulgogi in Yongin…”

The cows seemed to moo sadly in my head.

With the saddest faces in the world, we crossed off the list.

“That place is famous for its beef tartare. And that one for Hallasan ribs, it’s well-known too.”

“Or should we just have some seolleongtang?”

“The soup should be fine…”

Once again, the cows cried out mournfully.

“Ugh!”

“We shouldn’t have done the ranch experience!”

“Ugh, why do even the clouds look like cows!”

The clouds in the sky seemed to wear the distant smiles of dairy cows.

“Ughhh…!”

The managers held back their laughter at the sight of us, members, clutching our heads in agony in the food alley.