Chapter 0126 Ava.
Iâm clearing the house. A thorough cleaning just to keep my mind off things. Iâm still coming to terms with the fact that Iâm pregnant.
When Rowan rejected the idea of us having another baby. I all but gave up on giving Noah a sibling. Now!
have another baby on the way and I didnât know how to feel.
My phone rings and I pick it up. Normally I would have refused to pick up, but not today. Pushing those close to me away wasnât doing me any good...
âHi Lettyâ I murmur while sitting down.
Iâve been so tired of late. I should have known that there was something more to it.
âOh my God. You picked up. I thought you wouldnâtâ she screams through the phone before sniffing. âI missed hearing your voice. Itâs been weeksâ
âIâm sorry.â I release a breath. âI just didnât know how to handle everything so I pushed you awayâ
Iâve never been good at communicating my feelings. Iâve never been good at even acknowledging them.
When Iâm stressed or over emotional, I shut down. I try to bury them so that I can function properly.
Pushing my emotions down is usually better than acknowledging them. Now I know that isnât healthy at all âAre you okay now?â
âNot all the way, but I will beâ I assure her.
I donât know how I plan to do that, but I was going to come out of this stronger.
I still canât believe that I thought of killing myself and my own child. I may not know how to feel, but this baby was my blood. Just like Noah is. I plan to be a good mother. I plan to be the best mother to him or her.
I shake those thoughts away. I donât want to think of how low I had hit. I donât want to think of what I almost did.
âIâm pregnantâ I whisper, when she doesnât say anything after a while.
âWhat?â She shrieks in surprise. âWhen did you find out?â
âAbout a week agoâ
11/1 Just like with Noah, this baby is unexpected and unplanned. That wonât stop me from loving him or her I I always wanted another child. I may not like his or her father right now, but itâs not their fault.
âOh darling, congratulationsâ she tells me as the surprises fades and joy fills her tone âYou sound happy about the news. I thought you wouldnât, given who the father isâ
âI am. I truly believe that a baby is a blessing, and this baby is who you need to pull you through the heartache youâve recently been through. This baby is your saving grace. He or she came to you just in time.â She takes a deep breath as emotions clogs her voice.
âYou were drowning. Ava. I could see it. Everyone could see it. I believe this baby has done what no one else has managed to do. Pulling you out of the darknessâ
I think about what sheâs said and itâs true. Itâs because of Noah and this child that I want to get better.
That Iâm willing to get the help I need.
âThank you for trying Letty. Even when I kept pushing you away, you still kept trying. You never gave up on meâ I was close to tears.
Every single thing makes me emotional now.
âYouâre my bestfriend. More like the sister I never had. Of course I wouldnât give up on you because I know you would do the sameâ
We catch up after that. Moving away from serious conversations. By the time we say goodbye and hang 1. up. It was an hour or so later.
It felt nice talking to her. I didnât realize how much I had missed her. Just how lonely I had been these past few weeks. I felt more like myself, now. I wasnât quite there yet, but I was on my way.
I finish cleaning and I am exhausted by the time I am done. I collapse on the sofa, just as I hear my front door open.
I frown. Who the hell would dare enter my house without knocking or ringing the bell?
My question is answered when I hear his sweet voice.
âMommy! Mommy I am home!â he screams.
A big smile takes over my face and I stand up. I rush out of the living room just as he breaks through the entry way.
âNoah!â