Chapter 0139 I want to take you out for lunchâ Rowan surprises me once again.
I look at him suspiciously âWhy?â
âI want us to talkâ
I scan the roads. Checking if I could locate a taxi. Today I came by one because I wasnât in the mood to drive.
âI donât think thatâs a good idea. We really have nothing to talk aboutâ I focus my eyes back on him.
He runs his hands through his black hair. Seeming a bit frustrated.
âRowan...â I was about to let him know I was leaving, but he cuts me off. His face turning stone cold.
âI wonât take no for an answer. Itâs either you get in by yourself or I carry you inâ he says motioning to his car.
âYou wouldnât dareâ
âFucking try me, Avaâ
He starts advancing on me and I just know that he was about to enact his threat. With a humph, I turn around and stomp towards his car.
He unlocks the car and I get in. I glare at him when he gets in and starts the car.
I I keep quiet, not in the mood to talk. I was angry and confused with his sudden change in behavior. I wanted the old Rowan back. The one I was used to. This version of him was new to me and completely unpredictable. I didnât like that.
We get to a restaurant Iâve never been to. He leads me inside where he gives his name and weâre immediately shown to our table.
âWhatâs going on with you Rowan?â I ask him the moment we are alone. âYour behavior of late is really. confusing. I mean for heavenâs sake. You showed up to my doctorâs appointment for a baby that isnât even yours when you never came to any of my appointments when I was pregnant with Noahâ
He doesnât say anything. Just continues staring at me stonily. Reminding me of the version I was used to.
Cold, indifferent and detached.
You never wanted me anywhere around you before and now all of a sudden youâre everywhere. Donât get me wrong, Iâm thankful you pulled me back during my darkest time, but can we just go back to how things I donât want any more changes in my life. More importantly I donât want trouble with Emma. They didnât want me in their lives before and then all of a sudden everyone wants to be part of it?
I want a life away from them. Away from anything or anyone that reminds of my pain and suffering. I just wanted to be left alone.
I want to heal and I canât do that while Iâm still around the people who caused that pain in the first place.
You canât heal in the same place you got hurt.
âIâm sorryâ he says after a while. It was so low that I thought I had imagined it. âI was so angry at you. I didnât want to acknowledge the part I played that night. I fucking let you take the blame and then continued to punish you for something that wasnât entirely your fucking faultâ
He managed to shock me once again. He was just full of surprises today, wasnât he? Rowan wasnât the kind of man to apologize so the fact that he was is a miracle.
The more he spoke the more he got angry. I just wasnât sure who his anger was directed at.
âI treated so horribly when you were just trying to make the best of a shitty situation. You were eighteen and scared, yet I let you go to all those doctorâs appointment alone. Youâll never know how much Iâll regret that.â He takes a deep breath âWhy now? Why are you apologizing now when everything has already been said and done? Youâve got to know that this wonât change a thing. The damage has already been done. The best we can do is be civil towards each otherâ I whisper.
What has gotten into everyone? When I wanted all of them to be apologize, none was willing to. Now when Iâm ready to put them in my past where they all belong is when everyone is all of a sudden apologizing for hurting me. 1 âIâm so fucking sorry for the role I played in hurting and destroying you. Iâm not a man who ever makes mistakes, but I admit that I made the biggest fucking one in how I treated youâ
I hear what he was saying, but it just wasnât registering. How was I supposed to forgive him? How was I supposed to forget everything he put me through?â
I keep quiet as I stare at the table. I didnât have anything else to say because I just didnât know if I could ever forgive him.