Chapter 57: 52. His Fear of Loss

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Darshil rushed through the hospital doors, cradling Aarvi in his arms, his face pale and his heart racing with fear. As he moved swiftly towards the emergency room, every step felt like an eternity. Shiv was by his side, equally tense, but keeping a steady pace, silently lending his support to Darshil.

Doctor! Please, help her… She needs immediate attention. Darshil called out, his voice edged with urgency as he laid Aarvi gently on the gurney.

He clenched his fists to steady himself, forcing his emotions under control.

The medical team quickly surrounded Aarvi, wheeling her into the operating room. One of the nurses stopped Darshil at the door, placing a hand on his arm.

You’ll have to wait here, sir. The nurse said softly.

Darshil’s gaze followed Aarvi as the doors closed, cutting him off from her. He sank into a chair in the waiting area, his hands trembling as he ran them over his face. The fear gnawed at him, memories of her collapsing in his arms flashing through his mind. He kept replaying the moment she shielded him from the bullet, risking her life without hesitation.

Shiv sat beside him, silent, but his eyes filled with worry as he looked at Darshil.

She’s strong, Darshil. Shiv murmured, trying to reassure him.

Darshil’s hands were clenched tightly, his voice low and strained.

This… this is my fault, Shiv. If I hadn’t involved her in my life… if I hadn’t let her come with us… she wouldn’t be here, fighting for her life. I was the one protecting her, risking my life for her. I failed to protect her. Darshil said

She made that choice. She knew the risk, but she couldn’t let you face it alone. That’s how much you mean to her. Shiv replied gently, resting a hand on Darshil’s shoulder.

Darshil stared at the floor, his heart twisting painfully. His face was pale, his fingers clenched into tight fists as he stood outside the emergency room. He watched through the small window as the doctors worked urgently around Aarvi, tubes and monitors connected to her fragile form. His heart was pounding, each second that passed feeling like an eternity.

On the other hand, Poorva paced her room, her anxiety reaching new heights as she dialed Shiv's number, her hands trembling. The tension from Darshil’s kidnapping still weighed heavily on her, and every second of silence only deepened her worry. Finally, Shiv picked up, his voice worn but steady.

Shiv… please tell me. Is bhai okay? Did you find him? Poorva’s voice shook, her fear unmistakable.

Shiv took a deep breath.

Poorva... Darshil is safe now, but... it's complicated. Shiv said

What do you mean? Tell me everything. Poorva said, clutching the phone tighter.

Shiv sighed, choosing his words carefully.

We found him, but… things got intense. Vittorio shot at him. And... and Aarvi took the bullet instead. She saved his life. Shiv said

Poorva gasped, feeling the weight of the situation crash over her.

Aarvi… she was shot? Is she okay, Shiv? Poorva asked, her voice cracked, a tear slipping down her cheek.

Aarvi’s in critical condition.  The doctors are doing all they can… we can't say anything right now. And Darshil is barely holding it together. He is extremely scared about Aarvi. He needs you right now, Poorva. He needs the family… especially Dadi. Shiv said

Poorva fell silent for a moment, her mind racing.

I’ll come to the hospital immediately. And I’ll bring Dadi with me. Bhai and Aarvi need his family around him. Poorva said

Thank you, Poorva. Right now, he’s… he’s not himself. I’ve never seen him like this. I think your presence might be the only thing that can keep him grounded. Shiv said

I’ll be there soon. Just… don’t let him feel alone. Poorva said

I’m not leaving his side. And neither will Aarvi. Shiv replied softly.

As Poorva ended the call, she took a steadying breath, her hands still shaking but her resolve unbroken. She grabbed her purse, preparing to tell Dadi, her mind set on reaching the hospital.

Darshil waited anxiously outside the operating room, pacing back and forth with an intensity that seemed to suffuse the entire corridor with tension. Shiv leaned against the wall nearby, quiet but his face drawn with worry. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the doctor stepped out, his face grim and voice serious.

Doctor.... How is she? Darshil asked

The doctor prepared himself to begin, pulling off his gloves.

Mr. Rajvanshi, We have examined her and are trying our best but… her condition is critical. Doctor said

Darshil’s breath hitched, and he stepped forward, eyes searching the doctor’s face for some sign of hope.

What does that mean, doctor? Is she… is she going to be okay? Darshil asked

The doctor shook his head slightly.

It’s too soon to tell. The bullet did considerable damage to her lower back, and she’s lost a lot of blood. We were able to remove the bullet, but there’s a risk of infection and potential complications with her spine. Doctor said

Darshil swallowed, his fists clenched tightly at his sides.

I don’t care what it costs, just… make sure she survives. Darshil said

The doctor’s expression softened, seeing the desperation in Darshil’s eyes.

Mr. Rajvanshi, I understand, but right now, we’re in a delicate situation. We can’t say anything definitive until we see how her body responds over the next 24 hours. The coming hours are critical. All we can do is wait and monitor her. Doctor said

Darshil’s voice cracked, his anger masked by fear.

Waiting isn’t good enough. She didn’t deserve this. Darshil whispered, his voice trembling slightly and then he looked at the doctor.

Do whatever it takes… anything. I don’t care if she needs a hundred doctors in that room; just make sure she’s safe. Darshil said

The doctor sighed and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

We’ll do everything possible. You have my word. But now, you should prepare yourself… It’s going to be a challenging path ahead, both for her and for you. Doctor said and then walked back in the operating room.

Shiv stepped forward, resting a steadying hand on Darshil’s arm.

Darshil, she’s strong. Aarvi will fight through this. You know her better than anyone – she won’t give up so easily. Shiv said softly

Darshil looked at Shiv, pain etched deep in his eyes.

I know she’s strong, Shiv. But this happened because of me. She was hurt because she… because she tried to protect me. I should have been the one lying in there, not her. Darshil said

Shiv shook his head, his voice firm but comforting.

This isn’t your fault, Darshil. Aarvi acted out of her own choice. She cares for you more than anything. Don’t let guilt consume you right now. She needs you to be strong for her. It’s going to be a long night, and she needs calm around her as she recovers. Shiv said

Darshil exhaled, his gaze softening with determination.

I will be strong for her if that's what she needs. I just want her to open her eyes. I’ll stay here… until she opens her eyes, I’m not going anywhere. Darshil said

The waiting room was silent, heavy with a mix of hope and worry when Poorva, Dadi, and Ruhi arrived, their faces pale with concern. Poorva approached Darshil cautiously.

Bhai, how is Aarvi? Poorva asked,  her voice barely a whisper.

Darshil swallowed hard, unable to look at his family as he responded.

The doctor said it’s critical. They can’t say anything until she stabilizes… if she stabilizes. Darshil said as his voice cracked with the weight of those words.

Nandini ji placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, her own eyes glassy with unshed tears.

Beta, she is a fighter. Just like you. She will come through this. She can never leave you alone. Nandini ji said

Darshil nodded, but his silence said everything about the storm of emotions raging inside him. As he stood there, the nurse hurriedly entered the waiting room.

Excuse me, Mr. Rajvanshi?  Aarvi has a rare blood type, O negative, and she’s lost too much blood. We urgently need more to continue her treatment. The nurse asked, slightly out of breath.

Darshil’s gaze shot to the nurse, his eyes fierce with determination.

I’m O negative. Take whatever you need from me. All of it, if you have to, but don’t let anything happen to her. Darshil said

The nurse nodded, motioning for him to follow.

Please come with me. We’ll take as much as we need to stabilize her. The nurse said

As they reached the room for the blood transfusion, Darshil lay back, clenching his fists as the needle pierced his arm, drawing blood for Aarvi. It was then that he caught sight of her through the window of the ICU room, and his heart felt as if it had shattered.

Aarvi lay motionless, her face pale, her body attached to countless tubes and monitors. She looked so fragile, so far from the strong, spirited woman he knew. The sight of her in such a vulnerable state tore him apart.

The doctor walked over, watching the blood transfusion process.

Mr. Rajvanshi, we will only take what is necessary to bring her condition under control. Don’t worry; she’ll receive every drop she needs. The doctor said

Darshil’s gaze remained fixed on Aarvi.

Doctor, take as much as you need… I don’t care if I have to stay here all night. Just make sure she wakes up. She’s my life. I can’t lose her…not like this. Darshil said softly

The doctor offered a reassuring nod, understanding the depth of his devotion.

I assure you, we’re doing everything in our power to ensure her recovery. The doctor said

As the transfusion continued, Darshil’s mind flooded with memories – of Aarvi’s smile, her laughter, the way she challenged him and brought light into his life. He knew he had to be strong, but seeing her like this made him feel helpless in a way he’d never experienced before.

Minutes later, the nurse signaled that they had taken enough blood for now, and Darshil was free to go and he emerged out.

Darshil stepped out of the ICU, his face pale, his gaze unfocused as he tried to process what he had just seen. The sight of Aarvi lying so still, vulnerable and barely clinging to life, broke something deep within him. As he looked up, he saw Nandini ji waiting for him, concern etched into every line of her face. Poorva, Ruhi, and Shiv stood nearby, anxiously watching him, hoping for good news.

But Darshil couldn’t hold it in anymore. He moved toward Nandini ji, and before he even realized it, he was clinging to her, his arms wrapped around her in desperation. His shoulders shook as he finally let the tears fall, sobbing openly in a way none of them had ever seen.

Everyone looked on, stunned. Poorva’s hand flew to her mouth, and Ruhi’s eyes filled with tears as she saw her strong, fearless uncle break down in front of them.

Dadi… I… I can’t… I can’t lose her. My Hazel.… she’s… she’s everything to me. Darshil , his voice raw and barely recognizable. He buried his face against her shoulder, gripping her tightly as if she was the only thing keeping him grounded.

Nandini ji patted his back, her own heart breaking at seeing him in such pain.

Beta, calm down. Aarvi is strong. She will fight through this. Have faith, Darshil… please. Nandini ji said

But he only shook his head, the anguish in his eyes painful to witness.

I failed her, Dadi. I failed to protect her. All of this… all of this happened because of me. Vittorio targeted her because of my world, my enemies. I dragged her into this mess, and now… now she’s lying there, fighting for her life because of me. Darshil said

No beta. Nandini ji said

Darshil pulled back slightly, his face red, eyes swollen with tears.

Dadi, what am I going to do without her? I can’t live without her. I don’t know how to. She’s my… she’s my life. If anything happens to her, I don’t know how I’ll survive. Darshil said

Poorva took a step forward, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

Bhai, please don’t blame yourself. You love her, and you’ve done everything you could to protect her. Aarvi knows that… she knows how much you care. Poorva said

But Darshil wasn’t listening, his guilt consuming him. Shiv and Poorva made him sit on the chair and Nandini ji sat beside him.

Dadi....Please, please… bring her back to me. I’ll do anything. I swear, I’ll give up everything I have, my life, my strength, anything, but please… please bring her back. Darshil said, his voice trembled, each word drenched with desperation.

Nandini ji looked at him, her heart breaking for the man who was now pleading like a child, all his defenses stripped away. She gently touched his head, trying to soothe him.

Darshil beta… I know you love Aarvi, and she knows it too. She’ll fight her way back, I believe that. Please… please don’t blame yourself. Nandini ji said

But this is my fault, dadi. I dragged her into this darkness, my enemies targeted her because of me. I’ve been selfish… so selfish for wanting her in my life, knowing the dangers that came with it. Darshil said while sobbing

Nandini ji gently took his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her.

Darshil, listen to me. You’ve made mistakes, yes, but Aarvi chose you, knowing who you are. She loves you, and she’s a fighter. You must believe that and control yourself. Nandini ji said

I can’t… I just can’t. I’d rather give up my own life than see her suffer like this. I’d trade places with her in a heartbeat if I could. Darshil said

Darshil beta, don’t talk like that. Aarvi is strong. She is fighting, and she needs you to be strong for her right now. She would want you to hold on, to believe in her. Nandini ji said

Ruhi came forward, hugging him and wiped his tears softly.

Chachu, don’t cry. Aarvi will come back. She loves you too much to leave you alone. Ruhi said

Darshil managed a weak, trembling smile as he held Ruhi close, the weight of everyone’s reassurances gradually grounding him.

The waiting room was filled with a tense silence that was only broken by the muffled sounds of nurses and doctors moving about. Darshil paced back and forth, his anxiety palpable as he glanced at the clock, each minute stretching into what felt like an eternity. Ruhi sat in Poorva's lap, clutching a teddy bear tightly, her little face pinched with worry. Nandini ji, usually the pillar of strength, looked frail and fragile as she sat quietly, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Finally, after what felt like a lifetime, the door to the ICU swung open. The doctor stepped out, her expression grim, and Darshil rushed towards her, heart pounding in his chest.

Doctor! How is Aarvi? Is she okay? Darshil demanded, the urgency in his voice unmistakable.

The doctor took a deep breath, her eyes heavy with the weight of the news she had to deliver.

Mr. Darshil… Aarvi is in very critical condition. We have done all we could do, but now her chances of survival are very low right now, and I don't know if we can save her. The doctor said

A wave of cold dread washed over him, and it felt as though the ground had been pulled from beneath his feet. He felt a surge of anger, fear, and helplessness all at once.

What do you mean low chances? Do something! You’re a doctor! Save her! Darshil yelled

His voice rose with each word, his frustration boiling over. The doctor remained calm, but Darshil could see the sadness in her eyes.

We are doing everything we can, but… The doctor said but Darshil interupts

But it’s not enough!  If you can’t do anything, then bring in another doctor! I don’t care who it is, just make sure she comes back to me! Darshil shouted, his fists clenching at his sides.

Bhai, please. Yelling won’t help. We need to stay calm and support the doctor. Poorva tried to intervene, standing up to put a hand on his shoulder.

Calm? My wife is fighting for her life, and you want me to stay calm? I want her back! I want my Hazel back! Darshil said, his voice growing louder

Tears streamed down Ruhi’s cheeks, and Dadi’s frail hand trembled as she reached out for Darshil.

Beta, please. We need to trust the doctors. They know what they are doing. Try to understand. Nandini ji said softly, her voice breaking.

No, you don’t understand! I won’t lose her! I can’t lose her! I won’t let that happen! Darshil snapped, shaking his head as he struggled to hold back his rage.

The doctor stepped back slightly, her expression a mix of compassion and professionalism.

Mr. Darshil, I understand how difficult this is. We are doing everything we can. Please give us time to stabilize her condition. The doctor said

Time? Time is something she doesn’t have! I can’t just stand here and wait while you stand around doing nothing! I need you to fight for her! Darshil spat, his anger spilling over as he struggled to rein in his emotions.

Shiv, who had been standing quietly to the side, finally stepped forward, placing a hand on Darshil’s arm, trying to ground him.

Darshil, please. I know this is hard, but we need to listen to the doctor. Losing control won’t help Aarvi. Shiv said

Darshil looked into Shiv's eyes, seeing the concern there, but the pain in his chest only grew heavier.

I don’t want to hear any more excuses! I want my wife back! Darshil said

As he turned back to the doctor, he could see that her patience was wearing thin, and he struggled to calm himself down. But the anger was still there, simmering just below the surface.

You have to save her. You have to do everything in your power to bring her back. Darshil pleaded, his voice softer now but still full of desperation.

The doctor nodded.

We will continue to work hard for her, I promise. But I cannot make any guarantees. I can’t stress enough how critical her condition is right now. The doctor said

With that, she turned and walked back through the doors of the ICU. Darshil stood frozen for a moment, his heart racing, the gravity of her words crashing down on him.

The tears he had been holding back threatened to spill over. Ruhi stepped closer, wrapping her little arms around him.

Chachu, she’ll be okay. I know it. Ruhi whispered, trying to comfort him in her own way.

But Darshil could only stare at the door through which the doctor had vanished, his heart aching with a fear he had never known before. The anger had faded, replaced by an overwhelming sense of despair.

I just want her back. Darshil whispered, as the weight of everything threatened to crush him.

Ruhi tugged on Darshil's hand gently, her small face filled with determination.

Chachu, come with me. Ruhi said

Darshil looked down at her, exhausted and numb, but he followed as she led him down the quiet corridor. She stopped in front of a small alcove where an idol of Lord Ganesh sat peacefully adorned with flowers and candles. Darshil’s heart sank—he had never believed in any god, never once prayed. But here he was, feeling more desperate and powerless than he ever had in his life.

Ruhi stepped forward, folding her hands in reverence, her eyes closing as she whispered her prayer.

Ganesh ji, please… please make Aarvi Chachi better. She has to wake up. She’s the only one who can make Chachu smile. Please don’t take her away from us. Ruhi said

Darshil watched her, feeling a strange ache in his chest. This child had a hope, a belief so pure it felt like it filled the entire room. Swallowing hard, he took a deep breath and, for the first time in his life, stepped forward with his own head bowed.

He knelt down, folding his hands awkwardly, not knowing what to say or how to start. His heart, however, was clear in its plea. Closing his eyes, he felt the words spill out, raw and desperate.

I know I’ve never believed in you. I’ve never thought I needed you. But… please… if you’re there, if you can hear me… save her. Take anything you want, my life, my strength, everything I have, but please… don’t take her from me. I am begging in front of you, I'll beg in front of anyone you want me to, just listen to me once. Darshil said in a soft and low voice

He felt a tear slip down his cheek, his voice breaking as he continued.

I’ll believe… I’ll believe in anything, in you, in miracles—if she just opens her eyes. She’s… she’s my everything.  I’ll do anything if it means she’ll stay. I can’t lose her. She… she’s the only one who taught me how to love. I don’t know what I’d be without her. Darshil said, his voice breaking with tears.

The silence around him was profound, the flickering candlelight casting shadows on the idol’s calm face. For a moment, he could feel the weight of his own heartache reflected in the quiet of the room, as though the very air held his prayer, his desperate offering.

Ruhi looked up at him, her small hand resting on his shoulder.

Chachu, don’t worry. Ganesh ji is listening, I know he is. Aarvi Chachi will be okay. Ruhi said

Darshil took a shaky breath, wiping away his tears as he looked into her innocent, trusting eyes.

I hope so, Ruhi. I really hope so. Darshil said

As they stayed there in silence, Darshil clung to his one last hope, holding onto the prayer that, somehow, somewhere, might make it to Aarvi’s side.

**********

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