I've just been doing my own things today to get what happened between Ghost and I earlier off of my mind. I don't even know why I got so fucking upset but it's whatever, I think I'm starting my period or something, great excuse right?
It was starting to get a bit dark out, as I was heading home I saw the guys's cars parked outside my place , they were probably hanging out waiting for me but I wanted to just avoid Ghost, for now at least.
I sighed and drove past my place, I turned into a gravel road down a bit from my place that was surrounded by trees, it led down to a small parking space as I parked my car. I got out and walked down a little path that lead to this large pond that was in a shape of a heart, theres was a nice sandy base around it. I walked closer to it and sat on the sand, I took my shoes and socks off and dipped my feet into the water.
I let out a quiet sigh, I looked down at my side and traced a tiny heart in the sand, I traced the letter "J" inside the heart.
"I miss you Jocelyn." I muttered.
I brought my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around myself digging my head into my knees as I let out quiet sobs.
I just feel so emotional, with everything that's been happening too, it's not even that big of a deal but for some reason it just hurts, a lot.
I continued to quietly sobbed, I heard footsteps approaching me, I ignored it thinking it would be Soap.
Suddenly the footsteps stopped, I looked over to my left and looked up seeing Ghost peering down at me. I sniffles and quickly wiped my eyes embarrassed.
He sat down next to me, I looked over to the opposite way he was as I leaned my head against my knees again. I wiped the tears off from my face.
"Look Y/N, I'm sorry if I said something wrong earlier that upset you."
I pouted but didn't say a word.
"Soap just wants to make sure your safe. Even here, back at that mission.. they saw your face, they know it's you so they just want to keep you safe."
I sniffled. Why is he avoiding saying that he's keeping me safe.
"I don't need protection." I mumbled.
"Y/N. We both know how goddamn stubborn you are but you also know how dangerous it is especially for Hassan knowing it's you, we didn't even.. well, I didn't even think it was a good idea for you to take on such a mission anyhow."
"Is it because I'm a fucking girl or what?! I can handle it myself Simon I don't need your fucking narcissistic ass trying to tell me anything,"
It went silent for a few minutes, I kinda felt bad but I just, i don't even know.
"I would hate to have to attend your funeral Y/N. I'm trying to avoid that having to become a problem."
"I'm perfectly fine though." I snapped.
"Well then. I'll just let Soap know, have fun in Paris."
He stood up and wiped off the sand.
"Wait what?! What do you mean, where are you going??"
He looked down at me as I looked up at his dark eyes.
"We're heading back to base first thing in the morning. We've decided to go early to finish off some newly set up camps."
"Why didn't you guys inform me?"
"Because you're not coming."
I looked at him upset, I want to punch him so badly I felt like I was about to cry.
"I'm coming with you guys!"
"No you are not."
"Yes the fuck I am, I don't take orders from you either Simon."
"Well good thing that it was Soap who actually made these orders, Y/N."
I paused.
"What.. why?? Why would Soap leave me behind!"
"Because he doesn't want you hurt. These are very advanced missions Y/N."
"Are you trying to say I can't handle it because i very much so can."
Ghost squatted down next to me and quite literally fucking pierced through my soul.
"I never said that, but according to last time you aren't very good at following your leads commands."
I sighed.
"It was an accident."
I looked down.
Suddenly he lifted my chin up, instant butterflies came to my stomach. My eyes widened, his eyes changed.. he let go of my chin awkwardly, his eyes went back to that cold feeling, what was that about?
"mm, I should get going, and you should head back it's getting too dark." He stood back up and started walking back towards the pathway.
"Wait! Ghost."
He paused yet again, he slowly turned around almost in an annoyance way.
I looked back at him,
"um. Please do stay, for a little bit.."
Ghost turned around fully and just stood there, the moon hovered above his head as the light reflected off the water into his eyes. His eyes were truly beautiful.
I watched him slowly walk over and sit next to me, I fixed my posture and dipped my feet back into the cold water.
"Don't catch a cold."
I looked at him as he stared into the water. The moon reflected into the water, it was very pretty.
"Ghost, I'm sorry for the way I've been acting.. I'm not usually like this okay?"
"That time of the month eh?" He teased
"Hey!" I slapped him lightly, jokingly.
"It's okay, it's kinda cute."
I blushed and looked away,
"Sorry." He apologized.
He's so polite.
"So uh, Y/N I realized this pond is in the exact shape of a heart."
"It is, yes."
"Why's that?"
"Well. In the center of this pond is where my little sister is."
"Oh." He caught on.
"I'm sorry for your loss."
"It's okay, it was a long time ago."
Suddenly the wind started picking up, I didn't even think twice to wear anything warm. I crossed my arms avoiding the cold. A few moments later ghost wrapped his jacket around me, I looked at him.
"Sorry I should have asked."
"It's okay." I smiled at him. He just stared at me without even blinking a single time, I looked at him back. I swear I could feel myself getting closer to him like a magnet. It started sprinkling, seriously weather?
"Let me take you home before you catch a cold." He broke the moment.
"Right. Okay."
God Y/N dont be doing this now.
Ghost escorted me the car, he opened the passenger door as I got in, he closed it gently and got in the drivers seat and drove us back to the house.
We walked in the front door as everyone was gathered around the living room eating pizza.
"Hey lil sis! Where were ya??" I could see him glaring at Ghost with the protective brother eye twitch.
"Ghost and I were just down at the pond together, he was kind enough to drive me home."
I took my shoes and jacket off, ghost placed the keys on the wall rack.
"I'm gonna head to bed & Soap we're having a chat about this whole not bringing me with back to base."
I hid in my room and threw over pajamas, I'm literally so fucking tired. I plopped into bed and cuddled up under my blankets and then I fell asleep just like that. I woke up and rubbed my eyes, I rolled over and picked up my phone checking the time, '4:21am'. Well why the fuck am I waking up this early, I rolled back over and closed my eyes hoping to fall back asleep but I just couldn't.
I sighed and started kicking the bed with my feet annoyed, I rolled back over and crawled off my bed. I exited my bedroom and walked to the kitchen slowly trying not to bump anything since I couldn't see shit. I reached the fridge and pulled out a cheese stick.
I started to pull the wrapping off when I heard small movement coming from the living room. I froze and slowly turned around, it was way too dark to see anything and of course my eyes were making me see shit, I could have sworn I saw someone moving around. I slowly tip toed to the oven turning on the light switch, my heart sank as I quietly chuckled. It was just Ghost, he was sound asleep on the couch.
I walked over to him quietly as I hovered over him, he was shaking and seemed to have a bad sweat, I noticed his eyes flinching a little bit. Perhaps he was having a bad dream, I quietly walked over to the small closet next to the kitchen and pulled out a blanket, I walked back over to him and carefully laid it over his muscular body. He wasn't wearing his full gear so I could see his muscles seeping through his long sleeve shirt. His body started to flinch a bit, I started to get a little worried and freaked out at the same time.
"No. No, god no." He mumbled I felt terrible, I'm not sure what he was dreaming of. I placed the back of my hand on his forehead, he was burning. Suddenly his eyes flashed open as he grabbed my wrist hard again, I winced as he noticed he was hurting me, he let go and sat up as I jerked my hand back looking down at my wrist starting to bruise, I rubbed it.
I backed up from him as he rubbed his eyes, he looked up at me rubbing my wrist while it slowly turned dark grey and purple.
"God I'm so sorry Y/N, I didn't mean too you startled me." He stood up reaching for my arm as I jerked back.
"Y/N"-
"Stop I'm fine." I sighed and sat down next to him, shit this is awkward but god my wrist burns.
I noticed him peeking at my wrist, he reached out again but held me still before I jerked back.
"What are you doing??"
"Hold still." I stared into his eyes, I just listened.
He gently rubbed his thumb across my wrist as I winced from the pain, he held my arm and looked back at me. He suddenly stood up and walked into the kitchen, I heard him going through the drawers and then opening the freezer. He came back with an ice pack as he wrapped it in a small towel, he sat back down and pulled my arm out into his lap as he wrapped my wrist with the ice pack. I sighed and looked down as my arm still lied on his leg.
"I should've warned you, just be careful when I'm not alarmed, I don't mean to hurt you like this but i can't help my reaction."
"It's okay I should've known better."
I pulled my arm off of his lap and let out a yawn, now I was getting tired finally.
"You should get some rest."
"I'm okay." I insisted
"Sleep. Now."
huh-
He shuffled and lied back down and pulled me down to him, I felt my back tight up against his abs as I froze in shock.
"Don't think of this in any weird way, just, sleep."
I relaxed and put my legs up as they interlocked with his, he pulled the blanket over us as he spooned me, he moved his arm around awkwardly trying to find a place to set it, I grabbed his arm gently and wrapped it around me.
"Goodnight Simon."
"Goodnight Y/N." He responded as we both fell asleep.