"I've never seen the sky this color before. It's like I'm noticing everythin' a little bit more."
~ Adele, Strangers By Nature
"The longer you wait, the harder it's going to be."
A shudder ran through his body, but even still, he didn't move. His feet stayed rooted where they were, his arms heavy by his side. The only thing that moved were his panicked eyes that darted around the room, refusing to meet the tied up human's gaze.
General Hoppers sighed as if he were dealing with an insolent child. "I gave you an order, mutt. It's what weapons do. It's what you are."
Thirteen year olds don't do this. Thirteen year olds, human or not, weren't weapons. Frightful tears gathered in his eyes and his teeth suddenly felt like they ached, his claws felt like they were going to burn into his fingers. They were the couple of things that proved he was inhuman. They were the things that got him into this situation to begin with. He hated them. He hated himself.
"I can't. I can't kill her." Cillian rasped.
He sighed, and for a moment, Cillian thought he was being let off the hook. Boy was he wrong. His back was slammed back against the wall, the front of his shirt balled up in the general's fist. "You can and you will," General Hoppers sneered and slammed him against the wall once more. Fighting back only meant more consequences. "You kill her or I will, and I won't make it quick."
He was released and nearly fell to his knees. His strong legs that would normally hold him up confidently and high, trembled and threaten to give away as he staggered to the human. The human watched him with wide, terrified eyes, pleading through the gag to spare her life.
He froze, trying to think what would be the quickest way without a weapon to end her life. Only he should be the one to suffer, not her.
His clawed fingers trembled as he gently grabbed her by the back of the neck and she screamed at the sight of him, as if he were some monster. He had fangs that could bite through bone, claws as sharp as knives, and he already towered over any human at thirteen years old.
Maybe that's what he was. A monster.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, brokenly. With a twist, he snapped her neck.
Applause.
The general clapped loud and proud, a handful of others joined in too. Meanwhile, Cillian was struggling to keep down the bile that rose in his throat.
A hand clapped his back. "Well done, my boy!" General Hoppers exclaimed. "Well done, Cillian!"
Cillian? He never called him that.
"Now that you've got your first one out of the way, the rest will be easier from here."
"Cillian?"
His chest drew up sharply with a startled breath, and his eyes flew open. When they met Sophie's he released that breath. He noticed a light weight on his chest and looked down to see Sophie's hand resting there. Her other hand stilled in the air, seeming like she wanted to cup his face, but refrained. "Are you back?"
He sluggishly sat up and before her hand could fall from his chest, he gently held it there. "Yes. Sorry." He whispered and rubbed his temples, a headache already coming on.
"Do you want to talk about it-"
"No." He cut her off. He didn't mean to sound harsh, but he couldn't tell her the things he had done. She already saw him as a monster for what he did to her the night they met. He couldn't let her know that was true.
She nodded in understanding, contemplating her next words. "That's okay, just know if you... if you ever want to, you can about anything, not just your nightmare." Her tone was soft as she absentmindedly ran her thumb back and forth to where he kept it on his chest. "It's just, you've probably never had anyone to talk to before, and if you ever want to talk about anything, you can trust me." She rambled.
He did. He did trust her. For the first time in his life, he trusted someone. He never expected to have a mate. It was unreasonable, unrealistic with his life up until this point. He expected to live his life fighting wars he never started until he was either run into the ground or killed in combat.
Now that he had the woman he could only dream of having, maybe she deserved to know more about him. Maybe not what his night terror was yet, but something.
"Are you sure?" His voice was hesitant, small for a man so large.
"Absolutely, if you want to."
He remained silent for a moment, cobwebs still clogging his brain, too many memories stuck. As they began to clear, he decided to speak up. "I don't have many memories of my younger years..." years of abuse and torture deleted many of his memories, good and bad. "I was chosen at five." He whispered, finally. At least, that's what he remembered.
"He was chosen for greatness," is what they'd say, when in reality, he was enslaved. He was imprisoned. He was kidnapped.
She didn't what he meant by "chosen" for now and just let him talk. Too many questions she thought could be overwhelming for him.
He swallowed hard and further explained, "he took me." There was a slight crease in his brow and his hand subconsciously went up to his neck where those harsh, red lines scarred his skin.
He didn't speak for about a minute or so, lost in his head. Sophie used it as an opportunity to ask, "was it Hopper? Did he take you from your home?"
At his nod, her posture deflated. Putting the pieces together, it sounded like General Hoppers kidnapped Cillian at the age of five. "And your family?"
"They're gone, as far as I know." He replied.
"When did he start... using you?"
His eyes flickered back and forth, clearly not seeing what he was staring at, but the horrific pictures replaying in his mind. "He didn't wait."
He further explained that while he was larger than the typical five year old human child, he was still smaller than an adult. They used him to squeeze him into places where others couldn't, or to manipulate their enemy who wouldn't think a child so young could cause any harm. He was too scared to resist at that age.
However, by the time he was 13, he was bigger than every human that held him captive. When he had that revelation and tried to rebel in his teens, it caused him many scars- mentally and physically. He had the upper hand as far as strength and abilities, but weapons would always overpower. Blackmail would also always overpower. They'd threaten to kill innocent people if he didn't comply.
From then on, even when he did something right, it was never good enough for them. He was pushed and prodded around with electric prods, whipped with whips that had little barbs attached at the ends to inflict more pain, nearly drowned every time he was bathed with the hose, and much more.
A sniffle snapped him out of his thoughts. He turned to find it was coming from his mate. "I'm sorry." She sniffled and wiped a tear from her eye. "You didn't deserve that."
He didn't. Human or not, he didn't deserve the cards life had dealt him thus far. While she was still weary of the lycanthrope, she knew underneath it all at his heart, he was a good man.
He gave her hand a light squeeze in thanks.
With the ends of her sleeves, she wiped her face and asked, "How about we take a walk to clear your head?"
"Outside?" He wondered, a tad of uneasiness in his voice.
"Outside." She confirmed with a nod. "It's pretty late, no one will be around. Just us." That was true. It was 4:37 in the morning.
Just us. He rather liked the sound of that so ultimately agreed.
One thing that Sophie read about lycanthrope in the booklet was their ability to withstand extreme temperatures. A chill from being out in the rain didn't make them sick and they really didn't need coats in the snow as their body temperature naturally ran hot. In fact, they did far better in the cold temperatures rather than the heat.
Nevertheless, she bought him a weather jacket just in case. She didn't expect him to wear it, unless it was to fit in. To her surprise, as she was bundling up to head outside, he joined her. Already in a thick sweatshirt, he shrugged on his coat, zipped it to his chin, pulled on his beanie, politely asked if he could use a scarf, put on two pairs of socks, and finished with winter boots.
All Sophie wore was her unzipped jacket. "That's a lot of layers." She pointed out, not in a judgey way, but just to say it, really.
"Where are your layers?" He wondered, adjusting the beanie over his dark curly hair.
It was 47 degrees (8.3 degrees Celsius?) outside...
"I'm good with this." She brushed off with a smile.
He let out a quiet huff, dissatisfied with that, but said nothing else about the manner.
"You, uh... you don't like the cold, huh?" She asked, adding a small laugh at the end to keep it lighthearted.
He hesitated, his jaw clenching. Finally, he answered with a simple, "no."
She wasn't going to push him too hard on the subject now, considering they were finally going outside for the first time. He had spent some time in her backyard, but never the front yard or down the street.
"You ready?" She changed the subject, and opened the door.
He answered her by following her out, closing the door behind him. He trailed behind her down the long gravel
driveway. Once they made it to the sidewalk, she slowed down to urge him to walk by her side. She planned on walking a couple of blocks down and back.
For the first few seconds, she watched him, noticing his eyes darting from left to right, from house to house. He was clearly searching for any threats, his eyesight perfect, even in the darkness of the night. His nose even twitched a tad, telling her he was smelling for any possible danger as well. She swore his ears even perked a tad too.
"The stars are beautiful tonight." She whispered, not wanting to disturb the stillness of the night, but also wanting him to be more at ease.
His eyes darted up and widened, taken back by the beauty of the sky. It wasn't often he was able to just admire things, let alone the simple things such as the night sky.
"Full moon too." She gasped, her neck craned back to gaze at it. It was quiet for a beat before she hesitantly asked, "do you like... wanna howl at it? Because I won't judge."
He blinked at her, and she swore the corner of his mouth quirked up just a tad.
Heat rose to her cheeks. "I don't know what your... animalistic urges are." She defended herself with a huff.
He let out a huff himself, but closer to a huff of laughter more than annoyance. "I don't howl at the moon."
"Oh..." she drawled, shoving her hands into her coat pockets. "Weird." She decided.
He quirked a brow in question, but also amused.
"I dunno, I just thought you would." Was her reasoning.
"Why?"
"Because... you're a werewolf?" She offered, weakly. "Obviously you don't transform at the full moon or at midnight, so I thought you might at least howl."
They were both silent for a moment, Cillian thankfully more at ease now. Her silly questions were a good distraction from his anxiety and the cold.
It didn't last long before she asked another question. "So like, do you transform into a wolf or...?"
"I do." He replied.
"But when you want to?"
"When I want to." He confirmed.
She seemed to ponder on that before she asked, "when do you want to?"
He adjusted his beanie before shoving his hands back in his pockets. "Only when I need to. It's not very pleasant."
"It hurts?"
"Very."
"Oh." She mumbled. "So I can't see it?"
He gazed at her form the corner of his eye. "You wouldn't want to."
She didn't imagine it being that graphic, but she held her tongue. "What do you look like?"
"A wolf."
She playfully rolled her eyes. "No kidding. What color is your fur?"
"Same as my hair."
"Normal sized wolf?"
"Bigger."
"Like Twilight?"
"Like what?"
She gasped and stopped dead in her tracks. "You haven't heard of Twilight?"
He blinked.
"Eh, probably good you don't." She said and continued walking. "Probably a ton more stereotypes in there."
His lips twitched into an almost grin. "Like howling at the moon?"
She learned quite a lot about his kind in their short walk. She learned "mind links" weren't a thing. When other lycanthropes were in wolf form, they communicated as wolves would do. She learned their own wolves don't talk to them. They are one in the same. Lastly, there was no moon goddess.
Right when they were about to turn around and head back home, she noticed his eye caught the playground they passed by. With a smile, she asked, "you wanna check it out?"
She didn't wait for a reply and headed towards the swings. She sat in one and beckoned him to sit in one next to her. He complied, both of them swinging a tad back and forth.
"Thank you for this." He said quietly, his eyes looking ahead of him instead of at her.
"It's not a problem." She shrugged, swinging a little higher. "This was a nice walk."
He was referring to way more than just the walk, but he chose not to elaborate. He's noticed she's been a lot more comfortable around him, maybe even befriending him a little. If that's what she offered, that's what he would take. Anything to be with her.
A fat stray cat wandered up to the pair, it's back hair sticking straight up. It let out a hiss, followed by a growl.
Cillian's swing came to a halt, a slight snarl on his face. He let out a growl of his own, sending the cat scurrying away.
Sophie stopped her own swing and pointed at the cat running for its life. "Okay, you literally can't get mad at me for assuming stereotypes now."
â¢â¢â¢
Please don't forget to comment, follow, and vote!! ð¤
We hit our comment goal and we just hit 2,000 reads! In celebration, here's an early update! Making the next goal slightly more difficult ð 13 comments from 13 different people and I'll post the next chapter early!
Thank you everyone for the comments!! I love and read them ALL!! Comments are super important to me bc it ensures me that people are just as excited to read it as I am to write it. This book has been in the works for over a year now and reading all the lovely comments is like my reward for all my countless hours into it. Thank you all again for being so kind ð¤
Questions of the chapter: team Edward or Jacob? I can't choose bc I never watched Twilight lol.
Second question: what are some werewolf stereotypes you don't like? I personally don't love the whole moon goddess concept. Or when their wolf is separate from them and they can talk to their wolf? Idk I think it's odd (which is why I didn't add it in this book lol)
Important question: what's a good last name for Cillian? I can't think of one lol
Next chapter hint: ððªð©¹ð³