"When you're weary, feeling small. When tears are in your eyes, I'll dry them all. I'm on your side."
~ Simon & Garfunkel, Bridge Over Troubled Water
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There he was, a very irritated Cillian in an empty bath, his leg still wrapped in a cast slung over the edge of the tub.
Sophie made her footsteps loud enough to alert him of her presence, though with his hearing, he probably heard her from down the hall. She approached but kept her distance, unsure if he was restrained in anyway for her protection.
"Stop holding your breath," he mumbled, irritably holding up his hands to reassure her that he was handcuffed. They were different than normal handcuffs, far bigger and bulkier. Must have been another invention of Sully's.
She released a breath she didn't know she was holding, but apparently he did, and shuffled closer to him. He was still in a hospital gown, making her brows furrow. "Do you, umm..." she cleared her throat. "You need help taking that off?"
He gestured to the restraints. "What do you think?"
She gave a curt nod and undid the ties on the back. Thankfully the gown also had ties on the arms so they didn't have to grab a guard to undo the handcuffs.
The gown fell to reveal his bare torso and her heart sunk at his appearance. While the scars that littered all over his body were many, she knew every scar on his body. To see so many she didn't recognize made a lump form in her throat and tears sting the back of her eyes.
She blinked them away and asked, "is it alright if I..." her sentence died off, gesturing to the gown that settled on his lap.
He wanted to make a snarky comment that obviously he wanted her to undress him fully, as no one takes a bath with clothes on. Instead, he refrained and just nodded.
She removed the garment but didn't look, even though it was nothing she hadn't seen before. She wanted to respect his privacy. To distract herself, she turned on the facet, getting the water to the correct temperature before she plugged the drain. The doctor informed Sophie that only a couple inches of water was allowed in the bathtub. The water should only pool to just around his hips, as some of the lacerations on his back were still too open to get overly wet. When it was filled enough to cover his hips, she stopped the water.
"What are you doing?" He grumbled, not happy with the lack of water.
She sighed as she took note of his greasy hair and beat up appearance. "I can't fill it up anymore. You can't get some of your injuries wet. Doctor's orders."
He huffed and growled under his breath, clearly irritated with her.
With her, she had a big plastic cup. She planned to use it to scoop up the water and run it over his body where the water couldn't reach and to avoid anywhere that shouldn't be wet. "Do you care where I start?" She asked.
He shot her a glare and sat forward in the tub, avoiding her reach. "I'd prefer not to be touched by you."
"Alright," she huffed. "Would you rather it be Sully or someone who's actually seen you naked before?" She finally sassed back, catching him by surprise- though he did his best not to show it.
Accepting his defeat, he sat back against the tub, minding the wounds on his back.
"If it makes you feel any better, I'll just do what you can't reach." Her voice became soft again, warm, and as inviting as she could make it. "I mainly have to clean the injuries on your back. Maybe your hair too."
He was stiff as a board, partially from the pain he was in, but there was more to it. He was anxious. She knew why.
An idea popped into her head and she mumbled a rushed, "I'll be right back," and scurried out of the room. Minutes later, she came back, dragging a full length body mirror with her.
Curious, he silently watched her as she brought it around to the front of the tub so he could see himself and everything behind him. Mainly so he could see her behind him. His only defense, his hands, were restrained. Then having someone who he now sees as a threat behind him, unable to see her in his line of vision, with no way to protect himself reasonably made him uneasy. The mirror made it so he could watch her every move.
"Now you can see everything I do." She told him, shuffling back to her spot behind him, smiling gently at him in the mirror. "Better?"
His jaw ticked, but ultimately he said nothing. Her actions actually caught him off guard. He was told she wanted him to get hurt. Every kind of torture and pain that was inflicted on him, he was told was an order from her. He was aware of the mind altering drug the humans injected him with- Sully made sure to inform him. Even still, he didn't trust anyone.
But when she dragged over the mirror, he felt conflicted. Did she really care that enough about him to do that? Or was it to earn his trust so she could later strike while he was weak?
"Can I wet your hair?" She asked him.
He hesitated, unsure for a moment. Slowly, trying not to strain his back, he nodded and sat up- winded from just doing that. She's never seen him so exhausted.
She grabbed the handheld shower head, but paused when he leaned out of her reach.
"I don't-"
"Like water on your face." She finished the sentence for him. "I know. Tilt your head back some more. I won't get any on your face."
He hesitated but ultimately did as asked, his eyes not once leaving the mirror. His head hitched in his throat as her small hands gently wove into his hair, followed by the flow of water. He was tense at first, not used to gentle touches or his hair being touched anymore. He watched as she carefully wet the back of his head and cupped her hand in front of his forehead to avoid any of the water trailing into his face.
She turned off the water and scrubbed some shampoo in her hands before massaging it into his hair. His eyes closed for a moment, relishing at the familiar feeling of her nails soothingly scraped against his scalp. His eyes flew open moments later, the reality of how dangerous of a situation he was in hitting him.
She noticed him tense again, but remained calm, knowing if she did, it would be easier for him to stay relaxed. She continued massaging his head longer than necessary, knowing he secretly enjoyed it. It was good for him too, to get used to a kind touch again.
She turned on the shower head again and quietly instructed him to, "tilt your head back please." He did, a little more tense now that the water was on again. Once she finished that, she told him, "I have to clean your back now. I'm sorry if it hurts, I'll be as gentle as I can."
He shifted to sit up more, leaning forward to give her more access to his back. She wet a cloth and told him she where and when she was going to apply pressure to scrub off the dried blood, not wanting to take him off guard. The water may have been shallow and his wrists may have been restrained, but she didn't doubt he could drown her or something if he really wanted to.
He never flinched, never made a noise, never cowered away- just as any brainwashed soldier would. He remained still throughout the entirety of it.
"Are you okay?" She quietly asked.
"Fine," he sighed, his eyes locked onto her every movement in the mirror.
She cleared her throat and told him, "when you're dry, I have some ointment Sully gave me to put on your back."
"He been good to you?" The question even caught him off guard- it was purely instinctual, so interwoven into his being, to make sure his mate was safe.
She could tell he surprised himself by asking about her well being, but she replied as if she didn't notice. "Yes, he's been kind to me... in his own Sully way." She couldn't help but chuckle.
"Good." He decided, his mind seemingly elsewhere.
She peeked down into the tub to see the water had turned into a nasty shade of red from all the old blood. "I think we should drain this and refill the tub now that I got all the blood off you." She told him, rounding the tub to unplug it. Once the water was gone, she used the handheld shower head to rinse the tub around him before refilling it.
She wasn't as cautious as before. She was close, leant over him, nearly face to face at times with him. He watched her intensely, thinking of the many ways he could take advantage of this situation, but something inside made him decide not to.
Instead, he found himself asking, "we've shared a bath before."
Leant over him as she rinsed the tub, she peeked up, a lot closer to his face than she expected.
Before she could say anything, he asked, "real or not real?"
She remained where she was, so close, she could feel his breath ran her face. "Real." She told him. "A few times, actually... which time do you remember?"
His eyes flickered back and forth as he thought. "There was a heart shaped bed and flower peddles everywhere."
She chuckled and willed herself to pull away, turning the faucet back on. "That was our honeymoon."
His eyes widened.
She laughed and told him, "it was a gift from my parents. We were only pretending to love each other then."
He hummed at that, a look of recognition flashing in his eyes. "I remember that."
She handed him the washcloth and he got all the places he could get, and just to be sure, she washed his back and shoulders one last time now that there was clean water in the tub. "Why did they have you take a bath so late?" She wondered as it was nearing midnight.
"They were hoping it would help me sleep." He responded, his eyelids feeling heavy at her gentle touches on his back. He couldn't close his eyes, that would be too dangerous, but boy was it a challenge to keep them open right now.
She hummed at that, knowing she could easily make him sleep if he wanted her too. She didn't miss the way his eyes fluttered shut every few seconds. She cleared her throat. "Well, hopefully it helps."
After one last rinse, his bath was over. He toweled dry the best he could and Sophie applied the ointment Sully told her to. Then she found him a robe so the guards could assist him back to bed. Once settled, she padded over to the side of his bed to bid him a goodnight.
"Anything I can get you before I leave?" She offered, for some reason, a tad more shy than she was before.
His eyes landed on the clock behind her, the time reading 1:23 a.m. She didn't look bothered by the time, but certainly looked tired. Now that he thought of it, maybe she hadn't been sleeping well without him either.
"No," he replied with a sigh, guilt eating his insides. "Thank you." He summed up the courage to say.
She smiled a small smile and tipped her head in acknowledgment. "Anything for you, Cillian." She found herself saying. And the thing was, she meant it. "Why don't you try to sleep and I'll see you in the morning?" She suggested, softly.
"Have you been sleeping?"
She sputtered for a moment before she finally said, "Well, umm... no, not really."
He nodded, slowly, processing. "Why?"
Her gaze fell to her shoes and she timidly confessed, "hard to without you."
His brows furrowed, his own gaze dropping as well. "I'm sorry..." he paused, mulling on the words to say.
She smiled, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. "It's not your fault." She brushed it off and backed towards the door. "I hope the bath helps you sleep. I'll see you in the morning."
He knew it wouldn't. She knew it wouldn't. Neither of them slept much that night.
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In just a week, we gained an additional 20k reads!? Thank you so much for 60k reads!! My notifications have been blowing up the past week or so! So thankful for yall! Please don't forget to comment, follow, and vote!
Question of the chapter: Have yall noticed the Winter Soldier and Hunger Games vibes at all I've added in the past few chapters? Lol