why do I keep doing this to myself.
you'd think a girl would learn.
after getting screwed over by one guy and being left heartbroken by the other, my track record in the world of relationships didn't look so good.
I have wasted so many tears on people I am better off without. people who were never meant to be a permanent part of my life. but still, I spent nights crying over their lies and their absence. I felt the sadness and the loneliness that comes when somebody leaves you.
so tell me: why am I doing it again?
why am i smiling at my phone every time I read one of his messages?
why am i finding excuses to see him, and finding reasons to bring him up in conversation?
why am i staying up late in to the night with the sole purpose of hearing what he has to say?
why am i imagining us together, despite all of the reasons that we never will be?
why am i telling myself that this time, it's going to be different?
why am i setting myself up to be hurt all over again?
. . . why . . .
why, even despite all of these questions, am I still falling for him?