A/n: this one is for my⦠bitches with the fat ass in the fucking club. Lol I dedicate this chapter to all of the people who took the time to comment and like my chapters this next chapter would not be possible without each and every one of you I wouldn't even be publishing today if it weren't for an amazing reader who decided to like one of my chapters chapters.. thank you. I really don't deserve the love I really don't deserve the support but believe me I appreciated it. So please enjoy and tell me what you think
School. The last thing I imagined for myself is that I'd be here. A week has passed since I've been back and it might as well have been a second.
Everything exhausted me these days and nothing could interest me anymore. Yet school did these things better than most things could. Yet it also now happened to be the only place I could manage to get away from Gabriel.
I swear half the time I think I'm having a nightmare. A terrifying one where the only thing that could scare me more than wearing a terrifying skin is that Gabriel was all I had to wake up to.
Anyways school. I couldn't enjoy it. I hate to be the person qouting phora but it really did feel like the world was smiling without me. It felt like life was breathing without me while I was stagnant. I hated feeling alone and distant like some ominous narrator.
Needless to say I was a bit of a vegetable. Not much story happened within these first few days, weeks, and months.
But I couldn't help the stories that unfolded before me and that could not include me because... because I was spending all my time in the past.
Anyways Mr Zianey wasn't fired, far from it. The school was alive. Revived by the endless stories of his love life. I think of the day I caught him in the classroom I am currently walking to kissing a student.
Would you believe those were simpler times? So much has happened that at this point I'm thinking beautiful faces should come with warning notes glued to the foreheads. Maybe a taser or two?
|§|
Journey
"So you're getting an A right?"
I turned to Passion with an inquisitive look on my face. He was doing my hair so I had to look up and he had to let go, "what?"
He placed the now free hands at his hips and jutted one out, "don't what me. He is the biology teacher correct⦠you two are boning so obviously school regulations are a negligible factor in the grand scheme of thingsâ"
"Passion," I tried to interrupt.
"Not to mention emotional turmoil makes it very hard to study!*
"Passion!"
"I don't care what you say if you don't get an A I am snitching because that shit is uncalled for."
I rolled my eyes and placed his hands back on your head, " I thought I was supposed to be done complaining about my problems. Why aren't we talking about you??"
He replied quickly, "simple. Bitch I'm boring."
"Oh yeah sure a straight black man who has low key been kidnapped on and off for weeks by his new daddy Dom... Who happens to be whiter than a snowflake. Snooze fest."
Of course I was met with silence for a good minute or two because there really is no reply to that.
"I am not straight," he eventually replied softly.
"Really? No other objections?"
"Abduction is such a strong accusation."
To which I replied, "then object."
His fingers never stopped skillfully braiding my hair as he spoke. Only he knew how to tame this mane on my head. He finished in the lengthy silence that followed my retort.
"Go to school."
I stood and kissed his cheek thanking him before I went for the door he stopped me, "Journey." my brother said
I turned to him. He continued, "I don't think I'm doing this big brother/legal guardian thing correctly if you are sleeping with your teacher."
I guess it was my turn to have no words, "if you were doing a bad job I would still be in a mental hospital or a group home."
I walked back to him and made him look at me, "sometimes you get to blame life. Now I am going to be late if I don't head out."
This time I did make it out of the door and I shouted, "don't get kidnapped!"
I could hear his hurried footsteps chasing after me, "you littleâ"
I made a break for the front door and made it out alive.
|§|
The day was painted grey with my own hands because all I could do was wait.
No number of good experiences or opportunities for them can reach a person who sees those moments as preludes to the main event.
I wouldn't get to Mr Zianey's class until the end of the day and I knew he would make a point of not seeing me a second sooner.
Time moved too slowly. But I did get to his class eventually. I came in and took my seat at the back while he began.
Again he made it a point not to look at me. I smiled to myself because no one noticed but I was still embarrassed with myself.
For wasting a day in waiting for this. Before I knew it the school bell went off and he asked me to stay in a harsh tone.
As always the doe eyed girls who thought he hated me snickered as they left and we were alone.
For the longest time he just looked at me. No words and I couldn't look back at him. Too scared.
"Look at me." I did as told and his lips crashed down on me. His arms surrounded me. I felt safe. Homely.
Yet⦠my mind wondered.
When will things get easier? I asked myself because I didn't believe I was strong enough to live without easier.
Easier so that seeing him wouldn't feel like a gut punch. Like I was seeing him for the first time every time I saw him. Like my mind wouldn't let me let him go even though I wanted to so badly.
I wanted to enjoy this moment. This second of being wanted because everything around it was painful⦠being hidden was painful.
Being someone else's escape was painful. Painful and obsessive beyond words.
I didn't hate this. I hated how much I needed it. His command. His presence.
I didn't want to love him this much. I didn't want him if having him meant giving up my control my sensibility and his career.
But today... Today was not the day i would find the strength let go though. It's not the day that it finally gets easier.
"Journey," I lifted my face and looked him in the eyes. Breaking the kiss.
"Where are you right now," his fingers brushed along my cheek. I leaned into the touch.
"I'm sorry," I said, "it's just... do you think we're doing the right thing? There's so much that's... not okay in this situation."
"I thought denying that we should be together was my job," I didn't react to his attempt to be light hearted. I was being serious. Nothing about this was funny to me.
In seeing my face he sighed and took my hand, "Is this because of that Orian girl?"
"This is because I'm your seventeen year old submissive, currently in a secret relationship with you. This is because you are my teacher. This is because if you get caught you are going to jail. Malik this is serious.
This is because you could loose your job. How can I not question everything?"
The tears in my eyes couldn't hide the look in his. I didn't have to stand here and say this he knew.
Maybe it's all he thought about. Maybe he too was searching for the strength to let me go. I wanted to cry at that look and I knew that Loving someone shouldn't feel like that.
"You're absolutely right..." he pulled back from me and lent on his desk, "this is wrong."
Honestly hearing him say it hurt me physically. I grabbed my bag, "I gotta go."
And I did.
"Journey! Damn girl where's the fire?"
I rolled my eyes and pulled myself out from the hold Rodney had on my shoulders from stopping me from walking right into him. I wasn't really in the mood for his bull shit.
"Sorry. I'm late-"
" And classes are over for the day," he blocked my escape with his body. I sighed in frustration and tried my hardest not to explode, "I mean I know you're mesmerized by the sheer awesomeness of my presence but-"
"Rodney! Could you please shut up for once in your life and get out of my way."
I heard him mutter a damn under his breath after I had pushed him out of the way and was already walking away.
Rian was at her locker closing it like the action took the last of her energy. I chose not to bother her about it. Honestly I was over being here right now.
I got into my car and drove off.