Wallfront was a lot like Alabast in a lot of ways. The same stony buildings and walls covered it's expanse, and a copious amount of people occupied the streets. Iris wondered how many more there would be out in daytime. However, there was one thing different about Wallfront: it had a militaristic fortress on its outskirts. Iris imagined that it was there to protect the town from things like the Tokens, considering Wallfront was right on the country's borders.
"Where can we find an inn?" Iris asked with a yawn. She was tired from riding all day long.
"I can lead us to one here," Zayn answered without looking at her, "I've been here before."
Iris nodded in response even though she knew that he couldn't see her right now. The rest of the group followed the general without questions. As expected, a little while later, they found themselves in front of an inn, just as Zayn promised. The general and the group were quick to tie their horses up with the others and go in.
This innkeeper looked bored, Iris noticed. She figured that Wallfront probably didn't have near as many visitors as it normally would have, what with the war going on. When he saw them entering, he perked up a little. Zayn went to the counter and asked for a room --as did everyone else. No petty conversation ensued; no one had enough energy.
Each of them were led to separate rooms immediately, and once Iris entered hers, she went to lay down. The bed was comfortable --she noticed this on contact and wondered if it would be so soft if she was less tired. She didn't wonder for long. No, she was long since ready to rest her aching muscles.
However, she didn't. Not yet. The moment Iris closed her eyes, there was a soft knock at her door. She grumbled in distaste and got to her feet to go and answer the door. Her eyes were half closed, but she could still tell who it was through her half-conscious vision. She stepped aside, letting him in.
"What do you need, Kayde?" she asked, not unkindly.
For a minute, the guardian was quiet. He just paced the room with his eyes downcast --as if he were thinking of what to say to her.
"Is there something wrong?" she asked, waking up a little more once she sensed his distress. He stopped pacing at the sound of her voice and looked up at her. There was something in his eyes now that she couldn't place. She shut the door and took a cautious step in his direction.
"Kayde?"
"I think it's time for me to go back home, dear girl," he said after a few more seconds, "And I think you know that too."
"What?" she asked in surprise, eyes widening.
"We're in Wallfront now. This is where I promised I'd... this is where I leave you," he stumbled, not looking her in the eyes. At the words, things went silent. Impossibly silent. Not because Iris didn't have something to say, but because it would be impossible to say anything through the large lump that had quickly formed in her throat. Now she was awake. After a minute, she managed to speak.
"Kayde, we're not leaving Wallfront yet," she whispered, "If I remember correctly, you said you would stay until we left Wallfront. Do you remember that?" she asked him, and then another thought struck her mind. "Or why don't you ask if you can go with us all the way to the fortress? The general trusts you. We need you..." Her words were fast and barely coherent. This always seemed to happen when she was stressed out.
"Iris- I..." he started, but was interrupted.
"I need you," she finished, more slowly, "You're my mentor. My guardian. My best friend..."
"Iris," he put his hand on her shoulder, smiling a little, "I think we both know that you haven't needed me for a long time."
"But, Kayde..."
"No, listen to me, Iris. You've been ready for this since the day you left the training camp. This is your destiny, if it ever was anyone's. It is one that you must do yourself. I was sent here to prepare you for what you were meant to do, and I have. To protect you, and I did when you needed it. That was my role in this. I've done everything I can for you, Iris," he told her, his hand moving to her chin, "Dear girl, this is your story."
For the first time in a long time, a tear fell down her cheek. Sudden emotion seemed to overwhelm her. She hadn't expected this --not yet.
"It's like in all the books you read. I was your mentor. And in every story, mentors have to leave at some point. You know this, Iris. Damn it, please don't cry..." he whispered desperately, "Everything is alright. You're going to be just fine."
"Why don't you stay until we leave?" she asked, voice cracking, "You said you would. What changed? And you were always more than just a mentor... Kayde, you're my friend. The only one I've ever had. Don't you know that?"
"Yes, I know that. And I've never been prouder to be anyone's friend ever," he told her with a small smile. Iris could tell that it was a pained smile, what with the tear running down his own face.
"Why don't you stay, then?" she said, voice soft.
"Iris, I..." he began, "Because I don't think that I can stay any longer."
"That's a shit answer," she said, slightly angry, "You just said you were proud to be my friend. Stay, Kayde. Please stay."
"Iris," he sighed. "I can't."
"Why?" she demanded, ignoring his question, "Why not wait? And stop speaking in riddles, just give me the damned truth. There's a reason you don't want to stay, else you would until the end."
"Because I care about you," he told her.
"That's another bad answer," she accused, crossing her arms, "Why are you lying to me? I'm begging you to stay, but because you care about me, you won't? How in the hell does that make any sense?"
"Iris, I..." he let out a breath, giving in, "I suppose it's because I care far too much about you."
"What?" she replied, taken aback by his words, "I'm afraid I don't understand."
He looked away from her face and turned away from her. He couldn't bear to look in her eyes right now. Filled with pain and anger, he never wished to hurt her by leaving. After a second, he spoke.
"I'm afraid that you do, dear girl," he said quietly.
If words were ever stolen from Iris, it was right at this moment. As she realized what he meant, the world began spinning around her -- making her forget whatever she was planning to say next. All she could do was stare straight at the back of his head. It was all he could do not to turn around to see her expression.
"Kayde... I don't know what to say," she finally said.
Now he turned to her.
"Neither do I," he admitted, "Even though I could say so many things to you right now, none of them fit. I could tell you how proud I am of you, or I could tell you how wonderful of a person you are. I could how beautiful and brave you are, or maybe I'd remind you how strong your heart is... but damn it all, all of those things I could say would never turn out like I want them to. They would never give me you. You wanted my truth... well here it is. I have fallen for you, dear girl, in every way possible. I love you. No, it's more than that, even. I'm in love with you, girl. I really am. And it absolutely breaks me that I want to give you the world, and I can't. The only thing I can give you right now, is a goodbye."
"I..." she started, but Kayde interceded.
"Shh, Iris. Whatever you are going to say... please, don't. It's time I take my leave."
"No," she said, "Let me talk. How can you leave it like this? How can you tell me that you love me and then walk out without letting me respond as I will? That's not a goodbye --that's just a right smack to the face. If you really must leave, then I want it to be on good terms, at the very least. Kayde, please turn back around."
He turned.
"See... it's fine. I'm not scary. Don't treat me like I am. Don't walk away from me as if you think I don't give a damn about you. I do, Kayde. I care about you."
"I know you do," he smiled, "I really do know that you care. I've known it for a long time. You wouldn't ask me to stay here otherwise." Kayde near-grimaced. "But I also know that your heart belongs to Zayn Rothstead. I see that. I understand it, and I've long since accepted it. He's a great man --one that I trust, even. I'm far from angry, so don't think that... but I need you to let me leave, Iris. If you care about me, grant me my sanity."
Things went quiet.
"Okay," she finally responded, more tears falling, "But for what it's worth, I do love you. And gods, if I had the choice... I would have given my heart to you in the way that you deserve. I wish I could've loved you instead of the general. You would have had a hell of a lot happier ending --Zayn, Zayn will never even know Iris Gwenneth. He will know his soldier Ingred... that's all."
"Hey," he whispered and took hold of her shoulder. "Never lose hope. Alright? Things have a way of turning out in your favor. "
"How can I not?" she hung her head, "My only friend is leaving me in the hands of a man that will never know me."
"How have you held to hope all this time?" he asked, "You're good at it, Iris. It's in your nature." Kayde took in a breath. "Maybe... maybe you should tell him. One day. People can really surprise you."
"I won't risk my life," she told him, "I value it. You've taught me to do that, you know? You're the greatest friend I could have ever asked for. I feel like I should tell you that too, before you go. It's the truth."
"I know," he nodded, holding out his hand, "Friends? Still? I want to leave on good terms as well."
She disregarded his hand and flung her arms around him. After a moment, he returned her hug. With eyes shut, fresh tears fell down her face and onto his robe. Gods, she knew she would miss him. She already missed him. After a long time, she pulled away and just stared him straight in the face.
"Yes. Friends. Always."
And with that, she planted a kiss on his brow.
"And I want to thank you, Kayde. For everything that you have done for me. You gave up months of your life just to make sure that I was going to be okay. You barely knew me, then... but you still were the one that saved me. I would not be alive if it weren't for you. I know you've made the Remorda Guardians proud, and you've sure as hell made me proud too. I owe you a debt greater than I can ever repay. I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for everything," she wiped her tears away.
"There is nothing to apologize for. And you've already repaid me by giving me your friendship. And for having the strength to fight for your life and your father's life. I know you've made him proud, dear girl."
"Thank you," she uttered, barely audible.
"Goodbye, Iris. May you find happiness in your life, and if the gods are good, we'll meet again. Go and fulfill what I know now that you were born to do. I'm glad that I was the one that was given the opportunity to help you find who you are. It is the most precious chance that I have, and ever will have, been given," he gave her shoulder a final squeeze.
"Goodbye, Kayde."
And then, he left. His footsteps were hard to listen to now because she knew that they were the ones that carried him not only out of the door...
But out of her life.