May's room was simple. There was a bed off to the left and a dresser to the right. A desk and chair were to the left with a candle on top while a window was to the right of the bed.. Dried bundles of duskglows, a small purple flower, were around the space for decoration. The room gave off a peaceful atmosphere, and the flowers only added to it.
Before her on the bed, though, there were a few dresses laid out. One of them was a dark grey, one beige and another a medium blue. "You can wear them all while we're here. While we're traveling, though, one spare one probably is best. We don't want to overpack for obvious reasons," May stated before she smiled. "Try one on. See what you think. They're nothing special, but they give you some different colors."
"Not so." (F/n) gave her a smile back. "They're from you. That makes them special."
May rolled her eyes but smiled nonetheless. "Shouldn't I be the one trying to win favor with you?"
"You already have. And, it's not me winning favor." (F/n) stepped over to the beige one. "It's simply true." The fabric was plain, except for little flecks of white here and there on the fabric, but they could only be seen upon very close inspection. "I'll try this one first. Hopefully, it'll fit my new arms. The other dress I didn't have a problem with, thankfully."
"Well, Edwin did make your arms durable but also more slimmer than muscular," May noted as (F/n) removed her current dress and slipped the new one over her head. It, like her other dress, did fit her arms. She moved her arms around, and the fabric didn't tear. That boded well for the other ones. The dress's length, though, was off, but it was manageable.
"Well, how does it look?"
"Looks good. It also doesn't make you stand out, which is even better, especially with your brown cloak." May glanced to her hands. "We'll need gloves for you, though. And, we need shoes too." She hummed in thought. "We'll be able to find proper shoes for you in Thorn. Better to get you new shoes with the traveling we'll be doing. As for gloves ..." She trailed off and reached into her dresser before she pulled out brown leather gloves. "Try these."
Putting them on, they were a little tight, and (F/n) did have trouble moving her fingers. "Probably not going to work."
"Well, it was worth a try." She placed them back in her drawer. "We'll pick up some there as well." May signaled to the other dresses. "Go ahead and try the other two."
Nodding, (F/n) swapped out the beige dress for the dark grey one before she did the same with the medium blue. All fit and kept her warm. It was vastly different from what she wore in the castle, but she didn't mind. Right now, she was happy to have clothes to help keep the cold out. Fashion wasn't a priority on her list. "Are you sure that I can wear all three while we're here? I feel like I've already taken plenty of your clothes."
"You can. I have more dresses." May waved her hand nonchalantly. "So, don't worry. I'd get them from the villages from time to time. They've gathered up over time." (F/n) gave a curious glance. "And yes, I wore a cloak. I wouldn't do so too often. Same with any supplies I buy. I don't want vendors to get familiar with me, and there's enough people traveling for their trades and whatever else they may be doing around Stowwen that waiting some time before returning to the vendor keeps curiosity at bay.
Changing out of the medium blue dress and into the dark brown one, she seated herself on the bed. May came over and seated herself beside her. All three dresses were off to the right of (F/n). Leaning back on her hands, May asked, "But that aside, any news?" She quirked a brow with a small smirk on her lips.
May didn't have to explain her question. The expression on her face was more than enough. (F/n) didn't look over to her. Rather, she stared ahead at nothing in particular. "No. We've been carrying on as usual."
"It's okay to love him, (F/n)," she mentioned softly, glancing over to her stubborn friend.
"That isn't the issue."
"You really shouldn't let fear control you on the matter." May let out a light sigh. "We all lose those we love eventually. It's a part of loving."
"I know. Just I think of losing him, and the memory of what happened to my parents comes flying back to me. I didn't even witness their deaths, but the news, knowing that I'd no longer hear them, talk to them, everything, remained awful. More than that."
"I know. It's a horrible feeling, and it stays with you, but you shouldn't let it control you." May drifted off to the memory of the loss of her own parents but to illness rather than poison. "It won't do you any good. If anything, it'll only make you suffer more. The world keeps moving on, and it'll just kick you down more if you do nothing about it."
"I'm doing something, though. Just nothing on that front yet." She intertwined her hands together and leaned forward. "Keiran doesn't seem to mind my lack of action."
And, he wouldn't ... for now. May had a feeling that Keiran knew that (F/n) had feelings for him. Or, he could just be happy that he got to spend so much time with the one he loved. But, she didn't know how long that'd last. Keiran's love for (F/n) was heartwarming, but she also knew the darker sides of it; she knew how obsessive he could become. Thankfully, her listening to him in the past kept those desires at bay, and patience brought him (F/n), albeit in a tragic event. But if he began to feel like she didn't love him back, and especially if he thought she grew feelings for another, things might turn poor quickly.
In reality, it was dangerous having him around as there was always a risk involved. Perhaps, she should've said something to (F/n) rather than encourage her to pursue a relationship with Keiran. But, she didn't have the heart to. Keiran was her long time friend, and she couldn't betray him like that. If she did, things might fall apart horrendously. (F/n) would grow distant from Keiran, Keiran would suspect something and eventually find out the truth, Keiran wouldn't trust her anymore and he might get jealous of Edwin if (F/n) started to hang around him more, which could lead to Edwin's death and the whole breakdown of their group. Say goodbye to freeing magic users in Stowwen and taking back Credel.
Of course, a more positive result might happen, but she feared that worst case scenario more than (F/n) agreeing to a relationship with Keiran. This option kept everyone calmer and more focused. And yet, here she was telling (F/n) not to let fear control her. Well, she took her own advice on certain things. Mentally, she sighed at her own contradictory behavior, but to be fair, it was also logical. To her, it was the better of the two options, so she continued with the path of pushing (F/n) to confess to Keiran.
Breaking out of her thoughts, she noted that (F/n) was giving her a slightly concerned look. "Sorry. I was thinking of my response." (F/n) nodded and didn't press on the matter. May continued to lean on her arms and glanced to the ceiling. "He does seem to be fine with the current situation. Then again, you did agree to keep sharing a bed with him, correct?"
(F/n) stuttered. "W-Well ... yes."
"That might be why. He's also too gentlemanly to voice his wants, though." For the moment, he was. "But, I'm sure that satisfies one or some of them."
Cheeks growing warm, (F/n) coughed awkwardly. "We're just sharing a bed, nothing more."
"I wouldn't question it," May answered, truthfully. (F/n) didn't seem like the type to initiate such an action. And, Keiran wouldn't unless (F/n) asked him to. "But, you must agree that you've stepped over some line. You've given him the idea that you still want him close when you no longer need his help. That indicates something to him. He's not that oblivious, especially since he has feelings for you."
"Yes, I know that you're right." (F/n) pouted a little. "You're really focused on this. Perhaps, I need to stop agreeing to conversations with you," she jested, giving a small amused smile to May, who winked back to her. "But, you're his friend. I get that you're looking out for him."
"I'm looking out for you too, (F/n). Yes, you're my queen, but you're also my friend." Another smile touched (F/n)'s lips and she acknowledged that she thought of May as a friend as well. "As I've said, I want you both to be happy, and I feel that this would make you both happy."
"I don't doubt it," (F/n) admitted. "But ..."
"You're procrastinating due to worry."
"Well, yes." Why did May have to be so right at times? "I'll think about it more. I'm not promising anything."
"You're impossibly stubborn at times. You know that, right?"
"I do," (F/n) answered with a small smirk.
"Well, I've tried for today." May stood up from the bed. "Do you want me to help you put the dresses away?"
Shaking her head, (F/n) answered, "No, I'll be fine." She got up and grabbed the items. "But, you can accompany me. It's good having you back."
"Happy to be back. And, I'll stay for a little bit for training before heading out again."
Glad that May wasn't planning on leaving right away, (F/n) smiled at the news and walked with her friend out of the room and towards her own.
~~~~~~~~~~
Dinner had gone by well. (F/n) and May continued their conversation about some of May's travels in the past from (F/n)'s room down to the living room where Keiran and Edwin joined in. From the time, she almost shrieked at just a rabbit in the bushes when she first had started out on her own travels to when she managed to evade three bandits by jumping into the ocean and swimming off to rocks that could only be reached by swimming. And, the bandits lacked that talent. No doubt the water had been freezing, but May had swum in cold waters before, so her body wasn't foreign to it.
After dinner, though, they had retired to their rooms. (F/n), however, couldn't fall asleep. Her earlier conversation with May nagged at her mind. Keiran seemed to be sound asleep beside her. Yes, she had seen him sleeping at times.
Currently, she rested her chin on the palm of her hand. Her (e/c) optics stared at him. His naturally messy dark brown locks covered his face a little, and his lips were slightly parted as he slept. Keiran's chest rose and fell steadily. A pale blue shirt covered his chest. It was loose and didn't accentuate his muscles, but he remained handsome. He looked incredibly comfortable and peaceful. A soft smile touched her lips. If only she could fall asleep and have a decent rest.
Instead, she couldn't help but look at him and wonder how she'd tell her feelings to him. When should she also? Her heart was conflicted. May was right, but she found herself at a loss for words on actually carrying through with telling him. Getting annoyed at herself, she climbed out of bed. She now had on one of the new dresses, the dark grey one to be exact. Normally, she would've worn just a chemise to bed, but with Keiran right next to her, she felt that might be too personal.
Yes, he had taken care of her, and she had been naked around him. But, she no longer needed assistance with everyday tasks, and that was the only reason for that. Now, she wanted to maintain some privacy. It made her more comfortable, especially with her conflicted feelings. Perhaps, she shouldn't keep sharing a room with him, but she found that she couldn't tell him to move either.
Annoyed again, she broke out of her thoughts and quietly left the room, having put her brown cloak over her shoulders. She was happy to have chemises again, though. May gave her a few. There were the shortened ones. Now, there were long ones to go with her full-length dresses. As she walked, however, she tried to get her mind to drift to other matters with no luck.
(F/n) headed downstairs and into the stable with a lit candle in hand. Finn was up and eating some hay in his bale. After she lit the light in the stable and set down the candle, she leaned on the stable door, giving the stallion a small smile. He didn't stop eating for the moment, and she didn't mind. Just watching him eat relaxed her. That was all that he had on his mind, and she was envious.
She rested her chin on the palm of her hand and watched as Finn lifted up his head and walked over to her. He nudged his head gently against her arm, and she released a light chuckle. "Do you want to be brushed?" When he nudged her again, she laughed and grabbed the brush for him. Gently, she ran it over his hair. The action did help her to forget her troubling thoughts from earlier. At least, that was the case until she heard footsteps.
Glancing over, she mentally sighed. It was the individual of her previous thoughts. Keiran had thrown on a pair of brown pants and wore his cloak over him. His black leather boots were on his feet. "I thought that you might be in here when I saw the light from underneath the doorway." She nodded, not sure what to say. Oh yes, I wandered in here because I can't stop thinking about you and want to tell you my feelings, but I'm scared that I'll lose you, so sorry. That wasn't exactly going to leave her lips. "Is everything alright? I woke up when I heard the bedroom door close."
She had closed the door quietly, but she supposed that it was useful that he was a light sleeper. "I couldn't sleep," was all she managed out. He walked up beside her and leaned back against the stable as (F/n) continued to brush Finn.
He stared out at the open forest just outside of the stable. It was odd knowing that they were exposed to the open world, yet those outside of the forge, even the animals, didn't know it. Perhaps, that was why both (F/n) and he were so calm despite the lack of cover, save for the illusion's barrier. His eyes, though, drifted back to (F/n). "Something on your mind?"
"A lot of things. There's a lot to do."
"Yes, there is." He supposed that he should've been expecting that answer. It might've been foolish to ask, but the silence that followed wasn't uncomfortable. Keiran knew that something was off, however. On the brighter side of things, he was getting some alone time with (F/n) even if it wasn't as happy as he wanted it to be. Rather, she seemed lost in a way. He couldn't put his finger on what, but he did wish to know even if he wouldn't pry. No, that might push her away, so he'd be patient.
"You didn't have to come check on me," she finally answered back.
"No, I didn't. But, I wanted to make sure that you were okay."
A smile touched her lips, and she chuckled somewhat. "I could've been using the garderobe."
"Maybe, but I like to be safe than sorry." A saddened smile touched his lips. "I wish that I didn't have to think like that, but even with this illusion, we saw someone break through. As unlikely as it is to happen again or anytime soon, we still need to be cautious."
"Yes, that's true." Finn shook his mane before he went off and ate more of his hay. She set the brush down and looked over to Keiran. "Keiran, what were your dreams before all of this? Did you wish to remain the royal blacksmith the rest of your life?" She wanted to know, since May claimed he loved her, if Keiran wished for her to marry him and that they'd someday get to know each other. Well, they definitely did become close. So if that was his wish, he did achieve it albeit in a morbid and tragic way, but it wasn't his fault.
"Hmm," he hummed out, staring out at the forest again. "I suppose that if we're speaking of dreams I wanted to get to know you better. I always saw you from afar mostly, but like I've mentioned before, I admired you. Your commitment to your studies and the way you carried yourself. I could tell that you cared about others. You didn't think of yourself above others simply because they had a different station than you."
"You make me sound so grand," she chuckled a little, but her expression carried pain. "I had and have my flaws. I became short with my parents at times, and there were times I grew frustrated with the citizens because I could see the stress it put on mother and father."
"I imagine that you wanted to take that stress away from them."
"Yes, I did. Instead, Kendra beat me to it and in a disgusting manner." She frowned. "I wish that I had seen it." A rough sigh parted from her.
"I'm sorry. I'm making you recall such things."
She shook her head. "No, it's not your fault, Keiran." She sent him a reassuring smile. "To keep matters light, why don't you answer my other question?"
Nodding, he seated himself down on the floor, and (F/n) did the same as they both leaned back against Finn's stable. "I did. I didn't see myself doing anything else. I was happy there. Your parents treated me well, and I knew that when you ascended the throne that I'd be fine." He rested his arms on his knees. Yes of course, he dreamed to be king simply for the fact that he'd be married to her and be completely his, but those words didn't leave his lips.
Thoughts returned to her about her feelings for him. She secretly had been hoping that he'd let slip that he wanted to be beside her. But, she also had a feeling that he was holding back his feelings out of respect for her and not wanting to make her uncomfortable. He truly was thoughtful. Curiosity winning, though, she couldn't stop herself from asking, "Did you ever grow feelings for anyone at the castle or in Credel?"
Keiran paused and didn't meet her (e/c) gaze. Of course, he had, and he still possessed those feelings for her. She was right next to him. Would she be alright if he announced his feelings for her? Would it change their dynamic, and would she pull away? He couldn't bear the thought, and he especially couldn't tolerate the idea of her spending more time with Edwin than him even if she didn't have feelings for Edwin. If she did ... Well, that wouldn't be pleasant for Edwin.
"Your silence is telling me that you did," she teased, laughing gently.
He gave her a slight smile. "You caught me, (F/n)."
"Can you tell me about her?"
"I ..." He shook his head. "Will you keep asking if I don't?"
A smirk touched her lips, but her heart was racing a little. "You're only making me more curious. But, I suppose that I can stop if you want me to."
"Well, I'll just say that she is kind, intelligent and beautiful."
Rolling her eyes, she chuckled. "That could be almost anyone."
"Yes, I suppose that you'll have to be curious for longer."
She rolled her eyes at Keiran's answer but just in jest. Of course, she did want him to confirm his feelings. That might make things easier for her to announce hers to him. "I suppose so." She stood up to her feet and dusted herself off. "Well, maybe, I'll be able to sleep now."
"Are you sure?" he asked, a little bit of worry in his optics. "I don't mind staying up longer if you need me to unless talking isn't helping."
"No, I enjoy talking with you, Keiran." A playful smile touched her lips. "But, I'm afraid that my curiosity will just take hold of me again if I stay up any longer. And, it sounds like you don't want me to find out more about this woman."
'Ah, I see. Maybe, I should stay out here longer, then," he joked back, standing up himself. Internally, though, he hoped that she wouldn't distance herself now because she thought he loved another. At that thought, he wanted to kick himself. She really put him in a losing position either way. Sh*t. He might need to correct his answer, but she didn't seem sad. But, she might be hiding it.
"If you want to," she answered, shaking her head in amusement. "I'll head back up, then." As she turned around, he cursed himself again. He should've come up with a better answer.
"(F/n)," he called out, and she stopped, turning around. "Where are we?" He took a step forward as she paused. "Forgive if it's rude to ask, but I need to know. What am I to you?"
Her lips parted, but nothing came out. Well, she had started this, and her curiosity was being answered. She knew where this was going. He wanted a confession out of her, just like she did him. So, it was nagging him too. With her next words, though, she didn't want to wound him. Now, she wanted to kick herself for putting herself in this situation. Looks one of the sides on the matter won after all. At one point or another, the internal conflict within her would burst out.
"You're very dear to me." She glanced down to her feet and sighed lightly. "I'm scared of losing you." Slowly, she looked up to him and met his caramel gaze with her own (e/c) one. Steadily, he took a few steps towards her. "I ... Well, I guess that I ..." His ears waited desperately for her next words. "I was worried that I only have these feelings because you saved me and that they could've been for anyone. But as I've spent more time with you, I know that's not the case; it's just me trying to avoid my fear of losing you."
Her hands now clenched the fabric of her cloak. "I can't lose someone else right now. I don't want to lose anyone else, but I know that's a possibility in the future. We could all die in the next few months if not sooner." She bit her lip. 'And so, I've avoided saying anything. I don't want to care more, but I also do want to." (F/n) clenched her cloak tighter. "But, I suppose that it's all in the open now." A soft chuckle left her, and she didn't avert her eyes despite the fear that wanted to hold her back. "What I'm trying to say is that I love you."
The words seemed to echo in his ears, and he remained where he stood. Keiran blinked a couple times as if he was merely dreaming. His heart was beating loud in his chest, and it pounded in his ears. His blood seemed to rush through his body, and words were gone to him. He would've been happy if she acknowledged that they had remained friends despite his earlier answer, and he would've worked to be more than a friend to her, but this was incredible to say the least.
Keiran was beyond happy. He finally had her. She was his. Taking a step forward, then a few more, he reached her. Her (e/c) eyes searched his caramel ones for a response back as her heart thumped in her ears.
Taking her hands in his, he rubbed his thumbs over the backs of them, and she hoped that meant that he wasn't going to reject her feelings. According to May, he shouldn't. Things should move forward, not regress. Keiran touched his forehead to hers and closed his eyes just for a moment to feel her against him. When he opened his eyes again, he smiled and confirmed, "I love you, (F/n)." He pulled away slightly as she felt warmth infiltrate her cheeks and heart from happiness. "Do you mind if I kiss you?"
Briefly, she averted her eyes before she met his optics again and nodded. Within mere moments, his lips were upon hers. She had never kissed anyone before. Neither had he. She enjoyed the kiss even if it was awkward at first. And, it was short. It wasn't a peck on the lips; it was longer, but it wasn't deep and passionate either. Rather, it was sweet and mindful. He didn't want to overstep his bounds despite her confession, and she appreciated that he didn't rush forward with anything more intense.
Keiran pulled away but remained close, and he placed a kiss on her forehead. She continued to have her hands in his, and she gave him a small smile that showed she enjoyed it, which made him return the gesture. "I suppose that my head is clear now," she whispered and laughed lightly soon after.
"Then, perhaps, we should get some rest." She nodded, and neither of them touched on how things would be moving forward. But, she supposed that Keiran was officially courting her now. And no doubt, May and Edwin would learn of it soon. For now, though, they could enjoy the moment they just shared between them. And, she imagined that she would have peaceful dreams that evening.