Chapter 30: Cuddle Me

A hand presses against my bare stomach, and I let out a low groan, placing my own hand over it to keep it still.

“Hold on.”

“What?”

I pry my eyes open and whip my head to the side.

“Holy shit.”

Asher King is tangled up with me, his bare chest against my back, and his hand is definitely under my shirt, resting on my stomach.

My eyes go wide, and I gasp at the sensation, staring at him like I’ve lost my mind.

“I’m pretty sure I put him to bed in the guest room last night…”

“Asher?” I give him a gentle shake, trying not to get lost in the sight of him. His long lashes cast shadows over his cheeks. His lips are a soft pink, relaxed in a slight smile. His nose is just a bit crooked. He must have broken it at some point.

“How did he get to be so handsome?”

“Hmm?” he murmurs, and my stomach does a little flip.

“Not now, butterflies. Come back later.”

“What are you doing here?” I poke his cheek.

He pouts, his eyes still closed. “Can’t sleep unless I’m in my own bed,” he mumbles sleepily.

~Wow, even his morning voice is dreamy.~

“Oh,” I say. “Um, what does that have to do with you being in ~my~ bed right now?” I glance at his bare chest, trying not to make it obvious that I’m checking him out.

“I thought sleeping next to you would feel more like home than the guest room,” he murmurs, a small smile playing on his lips, and I blush.

~Why is he being so sweet?~

~Maybe he’s just messing with me.~

“Ah…okay, let me just…I…” I try to wriggle out of his hold, but he just tightens his grip on me.

“Let me go.” I feel like I’m about to explode, and I pull away from him, only for him to pull me back.

“No!”

This time he even throws a leg over mine to keep me still under the blanket we’re sharing, and I freeze.

~Fuck.~

~Shit.~

~Banana.~

I can feel his goddamn banana against my bare thigh. I take a deep breath and try to stay still.

“Buttercup?” Asher’s eyes are still closed, and I decide to ignore the dirty thoughts running through my mind and just relax.

“Yeah?” I run my fingers through his thick, dark hair.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Hmm,” I respond, tugging at a strand of his hair.

“Who’s the person you always call mama?” He pauses. “I kind of figured out it’s not your mom.”

I freeze, my fingers still in his hair.

“Why...how...?” I stutter, letting go of his hair.

“I pay a lot of attention to you.” His cheeks turn a light pink. “Your phone password...it’s her birthday, right?”

His voice is uncertain as he opens his eyes to look into mine.

“Yes,” I whisper, looking away from him.

~I’ve never talked about this with anyone before. Am I really ready to tell him?~

“Oh.”

“I...I…” My mind is racing as I struggle to find the words.

I’m going to tell him. I want to tell him.

“You don’t have to tell me. Take your time if you want to, though.” His voice is gentle as he sees the fear on my face, and I start to relax.

“I...no one knows...absolutely no one. Well, my parents do, but they don’t know that I do…”

~I’m rambling.~

Asher shifts against the pillows, and my hands fall to my sides. I just sit there until he gently pulls me into his arms.

I would be hyperventilating at this point if I wasn’t already panicking for another reason.

“My parents...they’re not my real parents.” I drop the bomb, waiting for his reaction. When I realize he’s waiting for me to continue, I do.

“They’re actually my uncle and aunt. My aunt is my real mother’s younger sister by four years.” I try to explain as best I can, staring at my hands, which are tightly clasped in my lap.

“I…”

Asher takes my hand in his.

“My mom got pregnant with me when she was eighteen. She was dating some jerk who was nothing but trouble, as far as I’ve heard. But she loved him, so she didn’t care.

“They dated for a year, and my grandparents didn’t like him. Eventually, he got her pregnant. That was it. He didn’t want me, so he ran off and left her to fend for herself.”

A tear slips down my cheek at the thought of my mom.

“My grandfather disowned her, having had enough, despite my grandmother and my aunt’s pleas. He wouldn’t listen.

“She was pregnant, living on the streets, when my mom’s best friend found out. She immediately tried to help my mom.

“Eventually, they found a place in a rough neighborhood. It’s not like she had many options.” I shrug.

“She started teaching dance at a nearby school to support herself and me, working overtime to earn more.

“She was miserable. Her boyfriend had left, she couldn’t see her family, she had to give up her studies, and she was pregnant.”

“But that didn’t stop her from having me nine months later, or from taking care of me as best she could.”

I wipe away another tear, and Asher pulls me closer, listening to my story.

“She gave me everything. I remember it all so clearly. Even if she wanted something, she always put me first. Even if we were short on money, she got me what I wanted before anything else.”

“She never bought anything expensive for herself, or anything she really liked. She said it was a waste of money to buy anything that wasn’t necessary, even for herself.”

“She would leave for work early in the morning, and come home late at night. She was always exhausted, I could see that, but that never stopped her from smiling at me.”

“She always had the brightest smile on her face when she came home.”

“My mom would always send the babysitter home early. Then she’d scoop me up in her arms, twirl me around, shower me with kisses, and tell me how much she missed me while she was at work.”

I can feel my throat tightening, the tears threatening to spill.

“She sounds like she was wonderful,” Asher murmurs, and I nod. ~She was.~

“We had this little routine...” I let out a small laugh, remembering.

“She’d change out of her work clothes, then drag me into the kitchen with her. She’d put on some random song, plop me on my stool, and dance around while she made her favorite chicken soup.

“It was the only thing she knew how to cook.” I smile at the memory. “I remember getting so sick of eating the same soup every day, but now I miss it more than anything.”

I feel Asher’s hand gently stroking my arm, trying to comfort me.

“My mom, or my aunt, found my sister a few years after I was born. They’d visit us regularly, always making sure my granddad didn’t know.

“He didn’t want anything to do with us. I’m sure it hurt my mom, but at least she had her sister and her best friend.”

I never could understand my grandpa. How could he just abandon us?

“After my aunt got married and moved into her own house, she’d invite us over all the time. I loved her even then. She’d spoil me with gifts and buy my mom clothes and other things.

“They were well-off, and my aunt adored her older sister. They were always so close. And my uncle—my aunt’s husband—was amazing too. He always made me laugh when we visited.

“My mom, her best friend, my uncle, and aunt were the only family I knew. But they all made sure I felt loved.”

Asher runs his fingers through my hair, staying silent. I shift a little in his arms, starting to feel a bit cramped.

“Sometimes when we were over here, we’d walk into the forest behind the house. My mom found this big rock, and we’d sit there, just staring at the stars together.”

“Is that why you…?” Asher starts to ask, realization dawning on him.

I give him a small grin.

“Yes, that’s why I sneak off at night. It’s one of the few things that make me feel close to my mom.

“Just sitting on that rock, stargazing, it’s like she’s right there with me. When I’m sad, happy, angry—I sneak off to talk to her.” I close my eyes.

“Or I dance. My mom loved to dance.”

“Everything was perfect. Sure, we had our fights and arguments, but life was good. Everything was.

“Until that one night. I was about ten years old. I wasn’t very social, but I had a friend who I was close with. She invited me to her birthday party, and I really wanted to go.

“I was determined to go, so I begged my mom. She was really tired that day. I should’ve noticed—or maybe I did, but I didn’t care.

“I only had a few friends, and not going would mean being left out. I begged until she finally gave in.”

“She picked out one of my favorite dresses and helped me get ready. Then we got in the car. It was a mistake. I wish I hadn’t been so selfish that day.”

I clench my teeth.

“We were driving when it started to rain. It was stormy and windy. About ten minutes into our drive, it got worse. You could barely see anything on the road.

“And then my mom, she started to feel dizzy. Her eyes were closing, and she was shaking her head to stay awake. We were just crossing the bridge when she asked for her water bottle, and just when—”

My voice breaks as I try to describe the night that took my best friend from me.

“Just when she reached for it, she slumped against her seat. The car swerved into the wrong lane. I remember hearing a loud horn, seeing bright lights, then the crash.

“Two seconds later, the car was flying off the bridge. I screamed for my mom to wake up, but she was unconscious. The car plunged into the deep water.”

I hear Asher gasp, but I don’t look up at him. He pulls me closer, turning me to face him. His eyes are filled with tears as he buries my face in his chest.

I sob against him.

“It’s okay, it’s okay!” He holds me close.

~It’s not okay.~