Chapter 43: Flipping Out

ADDY

I’m lounging on my bed, earphones plugged in, phone in hand. I open Snapchat, flip the camera to face me, and hit “record.”

“Dear diary,” I begin, grinning like a goofball into the camera. “It’s been three days since I made peace with Mom and Dad.

“I gotta admit, it felt good in a weird way. I didn’t realize it at first, but even though I felt close to them, there was a tiny part of me that just couldn’t fully connect.”

I shift around on my bed, getting cozy against my big pillow.

“I think it’s because I was holding onto this huge secret. So, I’m glad I finally spilled the beans.”

I brush a loose strand of hair from my face, lift my finger from the “record” button, and replay the video. Satisfied, I save it and start recording another one.

“Anyway, like I was saying, we had a blast this weekend. They’ve just left for another business trip, so I’m home alone again, and I’ve been doing a lot of thinking.”

I pause for a moment.

“I’m going to tell Asher that I know why he’s been avoiding me. It’s the kiss. That’s the only explanation I can think of.

“He’s pissed that I lied and probably wanted to confront me about it that day he came over while Xander was here. So, I want to clear the air, just so I can stop feeling so crappy about it.”

“I was planning to tell him anyway when I thought we had something...so, yeah.”

I click my tongue, staring at my reflection on my phone, then glance at my wristwatch.

“It’s about three-thirty, and—” I look down at my watch again.

~Damn, it’s three-thirty. I need to grab my bio book from school!~

~How could I forget?~

~Ugh!~

I had early classes today and forgot to bring home my bio book for tomorrow’s test. I can’t get a hold of Irin or any of my other classmates, so I have no choice but to go back to school and get my book.

~And now I’m going to be late.~

I let out a string of curses before leaping out of bed, dashing out the door with my hair in a quick ponytail.

~I should’ve gone back as soon as I realized I left the book. This is what happens when you procrastinate.~

I jump into my car and speed off.

***

I exit the school building, a triumphant smile on my face. ~Made it in time.~

As I round the corner to the parking lot, I’m hit with a sight I’m totally unprepared for.

My smile fades and my teeth clench.

~I’m over him. It’s been a few weeks...~

~Really, I’m over him.~

So, I shouldn’t care if someone’s hanging all over Asher, right? Right?

~This is none of my business.~

~He can hug whoever he wants. Do whatever he wants.~

But I just stand there, staring.

My eyes widen as I see Jalina rise on her tiptoes and press her lips to his. He doesn’t push her away, and that’s all I need to see.

~Damn it!~

~Over?~

~Over who?~

I’m still in deep trouble. That sight? It stings.

I look down and walk past them, head bowed, on purpose.

~Where are you going, Addy?~

~Your car is parked the other way!~

“Addalynn?”

A hand stops me in my tracks. I yank my arm away and keep walking.

I don’t want to hear any more. I just wanted to walk past them to show him that I don’t care anymore.

I got the message loud and clear.

Before I know it, I’m sprinting, bio book clutched tightly to my chest. My vision blurs as I run, blindly.

~Why does it hurt so much?~

“Addalynn!” he calls again, this time spinning me around to face him.

Jalina is nowhere in sight, and I glare at him.

“What?” I snap, trying to catch my breath.

“It’s not what it looked like... ~she~ kissed ~me~!”

He looks slightly panicked, and I let out a humorless laugh.

“And you kissed back. I get it. You like each other. I’m happy for you guys.”

My voice is flat as I try to turn away again, but he doesn’t let me.

“Will you just listen to me?”

“There’s no need, really. I saw what I saw. I’m not blind. I was going to come over to your house to explain myself later, but that’s pointless now, isn’t it?”

~What am I saying? I wanted to explain myself to stop feeling so lousy. Now it sounds like I wanted to explain myself to get him to forgive me.~

“What do you mean, explain yourself?” Asher looks confused.

“You found out that I kissed you at Trevor’s party, right?”

He stares at me for a moment, not quite processing, before his eyes go wide.

“What?”

“That’s why you started avoiding me. Because you found out that I stole your first kiss,” I say.

His eyes narrow at me and a knot forms in my stomach. Was I wrong? Was there another reason for his coldness?

“What are you talking about?”

I furrow my brows, feeling lost.

Asher looks down for a moment before meeting my gaze again. His eyes are hard and unwelcoming as he chuckles at me.

“You were the one who kissed me? You’re the one who kissed me that night?”

I reel back at the look in his eyes.

“You’re joking, right?”

I shake my head at his question. “I—I—”

“You’ve been lying to me this whole time! You agreed to help me, knowing that you were the one who—”

He runs his hands through his hair, his face a picture of disbelief.

“This whole time! I must’ve looked like a fool to you!”

“I’m sorry. After you told me, I couldn’t think straight. I was so ashamed. I swear, I didn’t know. It was my first kiss too…”

His eyes are locked on mine, his expression unreadable.

He doesn’t seem surprised.

“Then, you’re asking me for help. You threatened me with those videos, and I freaked out. I agreed to help you, and we became friends and then…then…” I can’t finish the sentence.

“Are you done?”

I nod.

He turns to leave, and panic surges through me. I grab his hand, stopping him from walking away.

“Asher.”

He looks at me again.

“I have nothing else to say to you. I hate liars, and you know that. I can’t believe you. You had so many chances to tell me, but you didn’t. You chose not to.”

I just stand there, feeling like an idiot.

He turns away again, pulling his hand from mine. He doesn’t look back as he walks away.

~This isn’t how our story is supposed to end.~

~What am I thinking?~

In a dramatic gesture, I collapse onto the pavement, burying my face in my hands. I try to hold back the tears, but they start to flow, unstoppable.

The sky darkens, and a raindrop lands on my already wet skin. The rain starts to pour, and I shiver. I look up at the dark sky, feeling the cold seep into my body.

I’m soaked when I look around. There’s no one else here. When did it get so dark?

~Asher.~

~I need Asher.~

I need to tell him that I’m hopelessly in love with him. Maybe that will change his mind. Maybe Jalina did kiss him, maybe he didn’t want her. Maybe he had a reason for avoiding me.

~We can fix this.~

~We just need to talk. He can’t have gone far, right?~

I get up and start running in the direction he went. My mind is racing as I pick up speed, crossing the road without looking.

But I don’t get far.

I hear the screech of tires, and I freeze.

~Tires?~

I turn, and my body locks up when I see the bright headlights. I’m hit hard, and my head snaps back. I’m thrown through the air in the pouring rain.

Everything is spinning.

~Damn, this would make a great movie scene. Isn’t this where the hero jumps in to save the heroine?~

Tears blur my vision, and I’m in pain.

~Fuck, this hurts like hell!~

~This isn’t a movie scene. This is my life, and Asher isn’t coming to save me,~ I tell myself before everything goes black.

Completely black.