ONE MORE MISTAKE
FRIEND
I heard his voice before I could see him.
"Need a ride?" I turned to look over at the road and saw Owen's familiar car. The window was rolled down, his face turning to look at me every few seconds then glancing at the empty road. Since I was in a small street, cars were nowhere in sight.
I was about to make my way back, deciding that it was better to stick with my uncle's order. I didn't have a plan to make my way home, I knew that it would be impossible to go home walking.
I shouldn't have walked away from Kace, I should've just stayed.
Glancing back at the empty street made me realized that I had hardly made it around the block, and I knew it would be my pridefulness that'll deny Owen's offer.
Owen met my eyes and I took a pause, hesitating. This wouldn't help our appearances, Linda had already saw us and assumed the worst of us. I wouldn't doubt that the whole school would know about that by tomorrow.
"Thea?" Owen's voice reached me, and I didn't think of it any further.
I made my way towards the passenger seat and got in.
"I saw what happened," was the first thing Owen said. I wanted to ask which part did he saw, but that wasn't what surprised me the most.
"Since when have you been this observant?" I asked, and Owen gave me a tight smile.
"It hard not to notice you, especially when you look angry all the time. Plus, you seemed to be the center of attention after that disagreement you had with Rory." The way his tongue rolled over the word disagreement made me think that he wasn't sure if thats what happened. He glanced at me as he accelerated, a frown on his face.
"It wasn't a disagreement, he was threatening me." My words sounded forced, but I was only trying to submerge my anger.
"He threatened you?" Owen asked, a look of disbelief covering his features.
"Yes" I exclaimed, taking Owen completely off guard. He glanced at me, his eyebrows rising up and hiding behind his soft curls. I shifted in my seat and glanced away from his questioning eyes.
"I'm sure you saw how he treated me," I say as I recall his ruthless.
"He hates me and blames me for his own stupidity. All night he's been looking at me like wants kill me. Did you know he came to me when I was just about to leave, to tell me he hates me?" My tongue became loose, forgetting that Owen and I weren't same people from before. Our friendship wasn't the same anymore, and anything I tell him could easily end up in someone else's mouth.
Owen released a breath, and I turned to look at him. "He doesn't hate you" He said, and he looked so sure.
"He told you that?" I asked as I straighten my back.
Owen closed his mouth.
That's what I thought.
"No he didn't tell me, but Rory doesn't know you. How can't he possibly hate you?" He asked and I understood his logic but he didn't know about the spiked drink and I wasn't planning on telling him.
"Well you know Rory better than I do," I muttered, shrinking in my seat and glancing at the road.
None of us said anything after that and the ride was quiet but nice. We haven't had a normal conversation or been alone together after everything that happened.
I expected there to be this weirdness between us but there wasn't. It was as if that whole thing didn't exist and we were back to being good friends. However, I knew better than to pretend things were going to go back to normal after this small interaction.
I look back at him and know that that friendship is gone.
"I want to apologize for what Linda said to you," he started. I sigh and sit up my seat.
"She wasn't trying to hurt you, she was trying to hurt me." Owen glances at me and he actually looks apologetic.
"You don't need to defend her, because I know for a fact that Linda hates me." He knew of Linda's hate towards me, he couldn't deny that truth. Owen shakes his head and grips the steering wheel.
"No, but what she did back there in the balcony was because she wanted to hurt me more. She hates me too, Thea. She'll do just about anything to spite me. She doesn't think I'm right for Alexandra and she's not wrong. I hurt Alexandra in so many ways and somehow Alex has the heart to forgive me." He says while still driving and I can't ignore the ache in my heart. He blames himself for what he did to Alexandra, but I was also at fault for what happened between them. He won't ever use it against me, or accuse me for their fallout but the guilt still lived in me.
I glance down at my lap.
Before Alexandra, Linda, Ysabel and Rory, Owen was my friend first.
It wasn't hard to open up to him and become friends with him. He was there for me way before I knew Caine and Sterling. He was there when my parents past away, he was there when they sent me to different facility centers. He held my hand when I needed it, and when no one dared to take it. I don't think I would've survived those moments if I were alone, I was grateful for his company.
He became the most important person in my life.
I was brave when I started to develop feelings for him. I knew he wasn't mine to take, much less believe he'll correspond to them. As if I were someone easy to love.
I didn't need to tell him of my feelings because I knew he didn't love me the same way I did and I was fine with that.
He was someone special and there was no way I'll risk my friendship for something that I knew I couldn't have.
I had defects, and I couldn't imagine him being with someone that clashed with his customs yet he accepted Alexandra for who she was. It came to me as a surprise, and a slap in the face, they were each others opposites. Maybe I was at fault for making myself believe he'll get with someone that was different from me.
It was difficult to swallow, but I learned to accept it.
I don't know who was the first to distance themselves, but eventually we became like strangers. He never looked for me, and I never looked for him. However there was always times I wanted to call him, to ask how he was but I never did for selfish reasons.
That was until Scarlett, my sister, passed away. I desperately craved for company during that time, someone who was able to understand me and so I went to Sterling which I came to regret after. I went to his home, thinking he'll receive me with open arms but I was so wrong.
I thought we could share our pain because we had both lost Scarlett. However Sterling was so cold towards me, and it hit me harder because I was expecting a different behavior from him.
During that time, we weren't as close as we once were but I still thought he'll treat me like before. I should've known not push him, it was clear he was grieving his sister's death but so was I and we got into an argument.
I left his house, ignoring his parents calling out to me. I walked out feeling angry yet still yearning for that comfort.
I had hardly made it out sterling's door when I found Owen standing near the gates. He didn't need to tell me he was sorry for not being there for me, I saw it written on his face. All he needed to do was hold his hand out and I ran towards him.
I don't know what came over me, but I held him tightly as if he was my lifeline. I felt deprived of affection, and he was the only one that was willing to give it to me. He hugged me back and there was this desire that ignited in me.
It was in my most vulnerable moment and I couldn't have willed it to stop.
He should've walked away from me there, he should've felt this weight fall upon him and let go of me but he didn't and I wasn't the one who had the strength to do so.
During that time, I didn't know he had broken up with Alexandra and was in a vulnerable position as well.
We became friends once again after that, and there wasn't a moment where we weren't with each other. We became each others shadow, he looked for me at school, at social gatherings and even where I lived. He took care of me, like it was his obligation and I stuck by his side as if I had the right. We knew where this was going, and how it was going to end. It was almost as if we were looking for trouble. None of his friends supported his friendship with me, Sterling couldn't even stand to look at me.
Alexandra pretended not to care.
I pretended not see the yearning in Owen's eyes every time he saw her.
We would never talk about Alexandra, he never mentioned her and I didn't are ask him. But there was this night when everything changed.
He talked about her.
And not just about his relationship with her but of her and who she was as a person. The more he talked about her, the more I realized how different Alexandra and I were. I was so wrong about her.
I was able to understand her through Owen's descriptions and something close to envy sat in the bottom of my heart. It wasn't something I wanted to feel, but I couldn't escape the feeling.
She was gentle, and lovable.
It was no wonder Owen fell in love with her instantly.
He spoke of her so respectfully, filled with adoration and admiration, there was no doubt his love for her ran deep.
What I couldn't understand was how he was able to kiss me right after that.
I felt his tears fall between our lips, and it tasted so bittersweet.
I don't think I'll forgive myself for allowing him to continue when we both knew it wasn't what either of us wanted at the time. I was ashamed I complied with the kiss because I was able to see Alexandra differently. It wasn't someone who I assumed the worst of, but a girl with a tender heart and whose feelings mattered.
He held me close and I remembered wishing he never told me about her because I wasn't able to deny how selfish I was for letting it happen.
I wanted to feel something, that was my selfish motive yet it didn't justify it.
What we did that night was a mistake, but neither of us stopped it from occurring.
We continued to talk with each other as if that night didn't happen, but our friendship was ruined ever since. That didn't only cause problems for Owen but it also damaged me.
I was in love with Owen, he was the first person I allowed to see me and touch me. The first person I felt safe enough to show him every vulnerable side of me.
Those feelings I had for him were real and fragile and he had used them to forget Alexandra. I don't think he ever knew just how much I loved him, and how much it impacted me. But I wasn't going to fault him for that, I understood why he did it.
It wasn't the same between us anymore, and I wasn't surprised when Owen and Alexandra to got back together.
This time around, I was the one that distanced myself from him. I stopped answering his calls, and avoided him in school. It wasn't because I was hurt, I did it because I knew it wasn't right of us.
Owen stopped trying to communicate with me after that.
His friends grew to hate me then, or rather finally found a reason to despise me. They were unwelcoming even before they knew me. I never cared what his friends thought of me but it felt cruel how Sterling judged me. He knew me, I lived with him for years yet he judged me for this affair like he didn't know what type of person I was.
Since then, I stoped seeing him the same.
For Owen, they continued to see him as a friend even after everything. However, now that he's told me Linda hates him for what he did to Alexandra, it wasn't how I previously thought.
"You don't have to apologize," I said quietly, and glanced up at him. I considered asking him how he was, this was our first real interaction after everything and I was curious.
He was an important person in my life, I don't think I'll stop wondering what he was up to.
Owen looked over at me for a second, a small smile appearing on his lips. I didn't need him to tell me how he felt, I saw it on his eyes.
"I miss you," he said softly. He didn't say it as a lover but just a friend who truly misses a friend. I smiled back and nodded.
"I miss you too," I admitted, in that moment wishing our friendship wasn't ruined.
Once we made it to the front of my house, he stopped the car outside the gate and turned the car off.
"Thank you for the ride," I grabbed my bag and took off my seatbelt. When I turned to grab the door handle, I saw Bruce and Kace standing outside the door from the house. They didn't see me, not yet, but from afar I saw Bruce talking to Kace with his hands in a tight fist.
"It was no bother, it was nice talking to you. It's been a while since we talked like this." He said unaware of what was happening to me.
It almost made me not want to get out of the car, I already knew how this night was going to end.
I turned to face Owen, and forced a smile.
"I'll see you in school, Owen." I said as I forced myself to open the door. I didn't get to hear what he said because of the ringing noise in my ear.
Once I got off, I turned and wave one last then shut the door.
He was gone in a matter of seconds however I stood there, dreading my night.
When I faced the gates, I noticed that my uncle was staring at me. Kace was by his side, his hands behind his back.
I forced myself to walk towards them, once I was close enough I noticed that my uncle wasn't looking at me. He was staring off at the dark sky, his lip twisted into a snarl.
Kace kept his eyes on me all while, a told you so expression plastered on his face.
"Well, if it isn't my niece coming out of a boy's car. I believe his name is Owen, correct?" I wasn't going to fall into his game, I couldn't allow him play me like a fool.
I wasn't planning to answer any of questions, he'll less likely pull me into trap however it didn't take me long to realize he wasn't ask me the question.
"Correct, that's the boy who followed her out after when she denied to head back inside." Kace never once looked away from me, his face was a void of express.
I didn't expect anything from Kace, he was after all required to report everything that happened to me but that was the problem. Bruce was doing this to remind me who exactly held the cards here. He was taunting me and it was working.
"Don't you get tired, Thea?" He looked genuinely confused. He looked down at me and tilted his head. "At what lengths should I go so you'll listen? Haven't I punished you enough? Did you need me to use more violence? More insults? Tell me, Thea, because I sincerely want to know." Bruce walked towards me, taking his time to reach me.
I met his cold gaze and I never felt so defenseless.
He pulled out one arm from behind and with no warning, he grabbed a fist full of hair. He pulled me in to his chest, his knuckles digging into my scalp.
I reacted in instinct and gripped his wrist with both my hands but he didn't let go. I felt tears form in my eyes, but it wasn't because I was afraid, no, these tears welled up because I was angry.
However, this time it wasn't directed at him but at myself because I was allowing this to happen to me. There was no one there to blame but myself.
Sterling was right to look at me that way earlier. He was right to judge me and label me broken because of this. He saw through me, in a way I've been too scared to do so.
"Is this it?" He asked lowly.
"Do you want me to treat you like a fucking dog?" He asked, and I felt him pull tighter. My throat released a soft sound and I saw the way his eyes brightened a bit. He was enjoying this, he liked inflicting pain.
"You should've just walked back inside," he said with a feigned frown. Then he dragged me towards the front door, pulling me with so much force, I felt as if he was ripping a piece of me.
Once we were inside, he pushed me away from me and I fell on the floor. I hold my body with my palms to avoid hitting my face but since Bruce was holding me with too much force, my forehead still hits the floor.
I don't get up quickly, instead I stay there with my face planted on the floor and listen to the house echo my fall.
I won't let him see me like this, I won't give him that satisfaction.
"Look at you," I hear bruce whisper, and I wanted to lunge at him. I wanted to make him feel defenseless and weak, just as he was doing it with me. But there was no will in my body to get up.
"I just hope you'll listen to your next fiancee more than me, because he won't be as merciful as I am. I'll make sure of that." The last I heard of bruce was his footsteps, going to the opposite direction. I didn't move until I knew for certain he was gone.
Then I sobbed, my throat burning from holding it in.
I hated him.
I pushed myself up but I felt hands hold me from my shoulders, helping me up but I pushed them away.
I turned around and stared at Kace, who was kneeling down meeting my eye level. There was a look of guilt, and regret in his eyes but all I felt was rage. He stood there all while my uncle dragged me inside the house and now he was trying to help me. What was wrong with him? What did he expect from me?
"Don't fucking touch me," my voice came out colder than I expected.
Kace pulled his hands away from me and slowly stood up. He sighed as he watched me struggle to get up.
I ignored him as I walked towards the kitchen but I heard him following close behind me. Once I was inside, I made my way towards the fridge and took out an ice pack.
I shut my eyes as I pressed it down at my scalp.
"Let me help," I heard Kace say and I felt him move around me and reach for the ice pack but I backed away from him.
"Don't," I open my eyes and met his gaze. He must've see it in my eyes because he didn't try anything, instead he lowers his hands down. He keeps his eyes locked with mine and I don't know him well enough to understand the look that passes in his eyes but I don't care. He clenches his jaw as I walk around him and head up my room.
I needed to be alone.