"All I ever wanted was
to know what to do"
- Dave Eggers
One More Mistake
Chapter forty-six
â± I felt pathetic.
I was relaying on Owen to help me out but I knew deep down that I didn't need him. I just liked the thought of someone trying to helping me out, someone to actually care about me just so I wouldn't feel alone but I was and that was the sad truth. I was all alone and there was nothing I could do to make it go away. And I hated that not even Caine could remove that ugly feeling, burning deep inside me.
I felt crushed and broken when I thought about Caine. He was everything to me but why wasn't I feeling important to him? Why didn't I feel important enough? I knew he cared about me but why wasn't I feeling it?
I shake my head at the thought that crossed my mind.
How could someone ever care about me, or even love me at all? I'm not worth it at all, I'm just some pathetic girl who needs peoples attention because she doesn't get enough. She's so desperate for it, that she doesn't even realize how it makes her look.
"I'm pathetic" I say back, staring at the reflection looking back at me.
"For once, we agree on something" I jump when I realize that Bruce was leaning on the door frame all along and staring at me. I look at him from my mirror but quickly look away when I see him put on a sinister smile.
"What are you doing here?" I ask coldly as I continue to do my makeup.
"I just wanted to let you know that Alec is waiting for you downstairs to drop you off at school" he responds back. I stop doing what I'm doing and turn around to look at him.
"If you think I'm getting into a car with him, you're crazy" I say back but I noticed that he didn't like what I said. He makes his way towards me and turns my head back around so I could see myself.
I tried to remove his hands from my neck but he gripped me harder.
"Your going to go downstairs and act like nothing happened last night, understood?" He asks as he pets my head.
"I thought you didn't want him anymore, didn't he disappoint you yesterday?" I ask, remembering him saying that he didn't want him for me anymore.
"We had a little chat this morning and what he said made me change my mind, he's perfect for you. Sure, he did disappoint me last night but he promised me he would do better, he said he needed time and so I'm giving him time. So get ready and act like nothing happened!" He said as he let go of my neck and walked away. I grab my neck and rub it softly.
When I was all ready, I made my way downstairs with a smile like Bruce wanted me to. But what he didn't know was that I wasn't going to let him intimidate me. I wasn't a fucking puppet for him, and I sure as hell wasn't going to start now.
Alec smiled up at me like nothing happened yesterday night but it did. It changed everything because I didn't see him the same anymore.
"It was so sweet for you to come all the way over here to pick me up but I'm capable enough to drive myself to school. I don't really need you" I say as I walk right past him and make my way towards the door.
I was glad bruce wasn't here to watch because if he were he wouldn't let me walk right passed the door. He would drag me back inside and would've made me gone with Alec.
"Don't make this any harder than it has to be" I heard Alec say but I don't stop. I started to walk towards to my car but I feel a tight grip on my wrist. In a swift move, I feel myself being pulled and suddenly I'm trapped in the arms of Alec fucking Armstrong.
"You don't know me Thea, and you should be afraid of what I'm capable of doing, so do us all a favor and let me give you a ride to school" he sounded calm but I know that he was angry. He was actually furious which was a bit frightening since I've never seen him this angry before but I didn't let him get to me.
"And you don't know me well enough either Alec. I'm warning you right now considering that you don't want to see that side of me yet because it's fucking terrifying. Now get your hands off me!" He seemed unbothered but nevertheless removed his hands off me.
"Don't forgot our date for tonight" he said with a hard look.
I don't say anything and give him one more cold stare before making my way towards my car. Once I shut the door, I sigh in relief. When I open my eyes, I look at the rear mirror and noticed he was still standing there, looking my way.
I start up the car and drive away from the house.
I couldn't help but feel a little threatened by him. He looked like a different person, and he wasn't acting like that guy that I met. He seemed more colder and distant now and that made him alarming. I should be careful whenever I was around him because if he dared to hurt me yesterday night than he was capable of anything.
He just needed a push and that thought alone scared me.