𝑋𝐿𝐼𝐼

"It's okay to admit that

your wounds are still open

that you are still healing

It takes time. it takes time"

Alison Malee -

In the midst of the storm, a boy roamed through the empty streets as rain soaked through his clothes.

The harsh wind whipped around, tugging at everything in the path, making the trees sway and the leaves dance. It carried a biting chill, causing the boy goosebumps, and him being wet didn't help.

The boy looked up at the sky as a weird thought crossed his brain. Is this how nature flexes its muscles? Is it it's way of reminding us of how powerful and unpredictable it is?

A crack of thunder rumbled through the sky, shaking the ground underneath Jason, its loud booming shook his core and created a sense of excitement in him.

Taking the circumstances the sound of the roaring thunder surge through Jasons vein's making him feel powerful especially after what happened earlier.

The harsh wind slapped Jason's sore cheek making him wince in pain.

Well here's what happened.

It's been a week since Lily's funeral and a lot has happened since then. When Jason woke up in the hospital he felt ashamed of himself, how could he be so weak?

His family insisted that he goes to a therapist, bit he wouldn't budge, Though he did promise that he won't do that again and he has kept his promise so far.

But the whole week Jason was distracting himself with anything, he didn't want to think, he didn't want to remember, he didn't want to feel....

He went out everyday and got drunk and high, he spent his time with the wrong crowd and only came back home to sleep and that didn't sit well with his parents.

He still has a young sister and brothers at home that shouldn't be seeing him like that. Jason loved his siblings dearly and especially Sophia, he treated her like a princess.

He even gave her Lily's teddy bear last night when she had trouble sleeping from the loud thunder. Sophia met Lily once, but honestly she didn't remember her at all.

Jason didn't want them to get close for some reason. Or maybe deep down he knew Lily won't be here for too long and he wanted to spare Sophia the pain.

Sophia is a very sweet and kind girl. She gets attached too easily, especially that she barely has any friends, so Jason didn't want her to get to know Lily and then get hurt when she's gone. He was trying to protect her heart and yet failed to protect his own.

He was going to let them meet again and officially introduce Lily as his wife to her during the gender reveal party, but fate had other plans.

Now you must be wondering how did Jason end up on the streets under the rain with battered?

A few hours earlier Jason, as usual, left with his so-called "friends" to party in one of the town's clubs. They smoked, got high, got drunk, and so on.

Jason didn't allow any girl to get close to him at all, his wedding ring was still on his hand after all.

"Come on , Jason, let me get you a chicka. You need to get laid my man" one of the guys said.

"I'm good, I don't need no whore"

"Oh come on, mate. Look over at that girl, she's cute, she looks like she would be a good girl in bed, if you know what I mean" He said with a wink at the end.

"Her? Cute?" Another guy,who was wasted, said before adding "If you see Jason's little sister, you wouldn't have called this ugly how cute"

When this guy come to pick up Jason, he saw Sophia playing in the garden under the rain with her brothers and him with his fucked up pedophilic mind found her cute.

The guy's eyes bulged in horror at what his friend said, oh he fucked up.

Jason whipped his around so quick and glared at the guy dangerously as anger pulsed through him.

"What the fuck did you just say?" Jason asked in a low scary tone.

"No bad intentions, mate, I'm just saying your sis-"

Jason didn't even let him finish the sentence as he punched his face over and over again, exh punch stronger than the one before, until blood seeped out of his mouth and nose.

The guy managed to throw few punches at Jason's face, but Jason was stronger and he could barely feel any pain due to the adrenaline pumping through him and also for the fact that he was high and drunk as fuck.

The guy fainted as his face was barely visible from all the blood and the bruises on his face and yet Jason didn't stop, he was about to kill him.

Everyone was trying to get Jason off of the other guy, but Jason wouldn't budge. This mother fucker fucked up the moment his filthy eyes landed on his angelic sister.

How dare he talk about her like that?

That thought made him even angrier and he was about to finish him, but Lily's face flashed in front of his eyes and made him stop abruptly.

Jason was breathing hard as he wiped the guy's blood that got onto his face, his hands were all red, bruised, injured and covered with blood.

He spit out on the guy calling him a 'son of a bitch'  before looking at the crowd, that was watching him like a hawk, and that enough for then to to cower away and get back to whatever the fuck they were doing.

The security guards know who Jason is and didn't dare to get involved, after all the King's family controlled everything and no one is dumb enough to get on their bad side, except for the idiot guy laying down on the ground.

And just like that Jason stormed out of the club into the stormy weather, walking aimlessly through the streets.

The cold rain was sobering him up and his adrenaline was wearing down and thus the pain was slowly catching up onto him as he winced with every puff of wind slapping his face.

Jason's feet carried him to the one place he was trying so hard to not visit. It's like his body craved the presence of Lily next to him and took him there , where his love was, unconsciously.

Jason stopped in his tracks the moment he realized were he was and stared at the symmetry's gate in hesitance. He didn't want to accept the fact that Lily was so close yet too far out of his reach.

Water puddles were all over the place as Jason's shoe splashed into them as he slowly walked into the graveyard. The place was scary and eerie, but the only thing Jason was feeling was the feeling of longing for his wife.

As he neared Lily's grave, Jason's heart pounded with pain and a lone tear escaped his eyes the moment he stood next to her stone with her name 'Lily White' engraved onto it.

Jason dropped down onto his knees next to her as his hand unintentionally ran over the wet soil as if it was caressing Lily. Jason's breath got stuck in his lungs as his cries rocked his body and clumped on his throat.

"Hi, Fiore. I- I don't know what to say or what to tell you, I don't even know what to feel.

After you left, nothing made any sense. It felt like the world was ending, yet the sun kept rising day after day (- faraway).

You know that Last night ... I asked the stars to bring you back to me. It stupid, but I want you back my love.

I was so angry when you died,I shouted at death like death could hear me, "This isn't fair." I asked a thousand why-s. All my questions, doubts, and tears were answered with silence. And within all this anger, there was heartbreak and disbelief when I heard you passed away.

This can't be real. This can't be my reality, this can't be yours. But this nightmare of grief is a reality, and  the reality is that I lost someone I loved, I lost my light, my flower, my lovely daffodil.

I will never know the reasons why you had to go this early, I honestly don't think there is an explanation that would make this feel okay.

I missed you so fucking much, Lily, it hurts.

And what hurts the most is that now I have to remember you for longer than I have known you.

I'm scared of Lily. I'm scared that one day I Will forget you and at the same time I'm afraid that I will love you forever and we will never be in the same room again.

We almost had a family, me and you and our little Hope.. almost.

Our 'almost' will forever haunt me.

It pained me to say goodbye to you cause that meant it was forever and that goodbye tore the heart out of my body.

I don't know what to say anymore, I'm so bad at expressing my feelings. My beautiful wife, I just told you that I'm afraid of forgetting you, but I don't think I ever will.

My anger might fade, but me wishing that you're here with me will never fade and I don't think my memory will ever forget you, it asks about you all the time.

Sometimes I tell your absence about my day, imagining that you are somehow still there in all that dark silence, no matter how much I drink you're always on my mind.

I love you, Lily, till heaven reunites us."

WHEN WE LOSE

SOMEONE WE LOVE

WE MUST LEARN NOT TO LIVE WITHOUT THEM, BUT TO LIVE WITH THE LOVE THEY LEFT BEHIND.

.🫧.🫧.🫧.🫧.🫧.🫧.

(A/N): Sorry guys I don't know what happened I published the old chapter instead of the new one 😭

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Lots of Love 🤍