CHAPTER 32
ABIR'S POV
I lay awake on the mattress staring at the ceiling, waiting for my alarm to go off. I turned around and looked at the clock but couldn't clearly decipher the numbers that the arms were pointing at. I squinted my eyes as much as I could, before dark spots clouded my vision. Clearing my eyes, I squinted again only to realize that it was barely 2.25 AM.
It's been more than 1 hour since Mishtipie and I retired back to sleep. Yet, all that I have been doing is tossing and turning. Beside me, Kunal is sleeping like a log, while neither am I able to sleep, nor do I want to.
Ever since that fateful day, I have started getting nightmares once again, which are in full force now. They are more descriptive, more scary and more realistic. Every night, something different happens, but the outcome of my dreams remains the same. Once, I was the person who drove at full speed and rammed the car into Mishti. Another time, it was as if I pushed her in front of the speeding car while my father stood beside me and laughed at the monster that I have become.
Two nights ago, I was woken awake by yet another nightmare. I woke up screaming and thrashing around while Kunal hugged me and calmed me down before putting me back to sleep. He didn't ask me about it and I was grateful. I was also glad that I slept very lightly back at the hospital because I know that if I had gotten into deep sleep, Mishti would have woken up to my screaming due to the nightmares. And if she found out, I would be in deep trouble.
I tuned back around and closed my eyes shut, forcing myself to think about what happened before that. Until the accident happened, that day felt like heaven to me. Only bliss everywhere. I felt happy, peaceful and for the first time in my life, I felt worthy. I felt worthy of joy, I felt worthy of love and most important of all, I felt worthy of her. She made me feel things I never knew I was capable of feeling. Deep down, I also know that she feels the same way I feel. But, instead of making me happy, it makes me afraid of the future.
Ever since I was a kid, I have always known that I was a bad omen. And having witnessed Mishti go through an accident mere minutes after realizing my love for her, only proves it more strongly. I sigh and roll around, pushing all the negative thoughts out of my head.
Whatever may happen, I was sure of one thing. I was too deep into this that there is no coming back. While my brain is continuously telling me to distance myself from her to keep her safe, my heart is stubborn. My heart wants to try one more time at my chance of a happy ending, but my brain is not allowing me to do so. Every morning I wake up and decide to follow my brain's instructions. But whenever I see her, every sane thought in my head just flies out of the window.
I am brought out of my reverie as the lights are suddenly switched on. I look up to see Rajshree Ma awake and ready, to catch her flight back to Mumbai. She smiled and wished me a good morning before walking into the kitchen to make some coffee for her and Vishambher pa.
I now looked at the clock to see that it was already 3.15, and I had whiled away one more night in my own thoughts. Beside me, Kunal groaned and turned to sleep on his stomach, to block the light from falling on his face. I chuckled before shaking him to wake him up to which he swatted my hand away and slept back again. I shook my head and got up, walking straight into the bathroom to take a bath and do my morning routine.
After I got ready, I knocked on Mishti and Kuhu's door. When I got no response, I opened the door gently to see both the girls sleeping peacefully. While Kuhu slept on her stomach, she had her hand across Mishti's waist, hugging her, while Mishti had swung her good leg on Kuhu. I chuckled before calling out their names, only to get no response. After a few more tries, Kuhu clicked her tongue and popped open one eye and frowned at me. In reply, I grinned at her.
She moaned, "Abir! I wanna sleep. Get out."
I raised my eyebrow at her, "Your sasural are leaving today. Don't you want to impress them?"
She immediately flung her pillow at me before getting up from the bed and walking towards the bathroom, muttering incoherent curses at me all the while.
I focused my attention back on the angel sleeping on the bed, as I sat down beside her. The little commotion surrounding her must have disturbed her, because she was frowning and pouting in her sleep.
I smiled as I saw her sleeping form, before waking her up gently, "Mishti, get up."
Of course, I was unsuccessful.
I shook her a little more aggressively to try and get her to wake up. After my third attempt, when I held her shoulders to wake her up, she stiffened visibly, which made me doubt if she was just acting as if sleeping. To confirm my doubts, I decided to use my final card. I smirked as I bent down towards her before nestling myself in the crook of her neck. I took my own sweet time, as I placed a soft kiss just behind her ear, earning a shiver from her. If I had any doubts earlier, I was sure that she was awake now. I went closer towards her ear, took a deep breath before blowing all air into her ear with full force.
She screamed as she got up with a jerk, her nose flaring and her good hand clutching her ear. She glared at me, "Why did you do that?"
I controlled myself from laughing at her, "What, Mishti?"
She scowled, "That air blowing thing. Why did you do that?"
I shrugged, "Why didn't you wake up even though you were awake?"
For a fraction of a second, her eyes widened at being caught, but she immediately masked it, "No, I didn't!"
I cocked an eyebrow at her, "Really?"
She sighed, "Okay, but why would you do that?"
I smirked, "Why did you act as if sleeping?"
She grabbed her pillow and flung it right on my face. Due to my excellent reflexes, I caught it before it actually hit me.
Mumbling something to herself, she got up. I chuckled seeing her irritated expression. I walked to her and held her by her waist to support her, hoisting her up.
Kuhu came back into the room smirking, "Lovebirds, sorry to interrupt, but you have to get ready soon."
I gave Kuhu an incredulous look, while feeling heat creep into my cheeks. She walked out of the room after giving us one last look. Mishti seemed bright red as she kept her eyes on the ground.
I cleared my throat, "I'll pick out a dress for you. You can use the bathroom now that Kuhu has come out."
She blushed but nodded and walked into the bathroom. I went to her suitcase and chose a black sundress, as I felt it would be comfortable for her fractured leg throughout the fourteen-hour journey. Placing it on the bed, I walked out of the room.
I walked out to see ma, pa, Kunal and Kuhu sitting at the dining table and talking. As mom informed me that she has kept my hot milk in the kitchen, I went and brought it before plopping myself down on one of the empty chairs around the table.
I turned to Kunal, "When did you get up?"
He grinned, "Just now"
I chuckled and shook my head.
I turned to ma and pa, "Are you ready for the flight?"
Dad smiled at me, "All ready."
I grinned, before realizing something, "Oh, also, don't worry. I'll bring Mishti back safe-"
Ma placed her hand on me and cut me off, "Abir, we trust her with you the most.", she smiled reassuringly at me.
My heart swelled in happiness, as I smiled at Ma and Pa, who looked at me with pride. They have been the parent-figures in my life. I will always be thankful to them, forever.
After sometime, the four of us bid them bye as they got into the cab that we had booked for them, as Jugnu Bhaiyya would be coming with us.
As Mishti and Kuhu got in to do her last-minute packing that I had already finished, I sat with Kunal in utter silence.
Kunal spoke silently, "When are you going to tell her?"
I sighed in disappointment as I didn't want to talk about it. I was hoping he would just forget it, but alas, it wasn't in my fate.
Taking in my silence, he continued, "The earlier you tell her, the better. I know your nightmares are because of her. Just like she caused it, she would also be the remedy of it."
I didn't want to give him false assurances, because I intended to keep it a secret as long as I could. So, I remained silent once again.
In sometime after we had the breakfast that mom had cooked for us, we headed out.
Kunal hugged me and told me take care. As I hugged Kuhu, she whispered, asking me to confess soon. Since I was as confused as I could ever be, I only gave her a tight-lipped smile.
After Mishti hugged them as well, I helped her into the car, before getting seated beside her. We waved our hands at the pair of them, as the car headed out of the apartment. I took hold of Mishti's hand and interlaced them with mine, hoping that I would be able to etch every single feeling of her beside me, perfectly in my memory.
I don't know how life will be once we are back home. Even though I hate to admit it, I feel my brain is correct in this battle between my mind and soul. I would have to stay away from her to keep her safe. Having her far away from me, leading a happy life, would be better than not having her at all. I don't know what will happen in the future. But whatever happens, I will always watch over her.
Always.
***
Hey guys! This is Chapter 32!
Hope you guys loved it!
Thank you! <3