Chapter 10: The Sins of Noelle: Chapter 10

Her ear fitted to the frame of the door, Noelle snuck her head into the hallway, listening for the sign that her mother had left. When a loud bang echoed in the entire house, her lips spread into a big grin.

Closing the door to her room, she locked it—just in case—before she opened her secret hideaway to remove a diet coke six-pack and a couple bags of chips.

Her mother had a strict policy of no junk food in the house. But that never stopped Noelle from sneaking out to buy it, or for the staff to help her procure it.

Arranging everything in place around her desk, she turned on her computer, jumping straight into the game.

Yet the moment she opened the chat, her excitement deflated when she realized Blue was not online yet. Her eyes immediately went to the clock, and she sighed in relief when she saw it was her who’d logged on earlier. If she missed even one day of talking to him…

She shook her head. She wouldn’t think about that.

After she’d found out about her inevitable marriage to a certain Sergio Villanueva, she’d realized she was truly all alone.

The blow from her brother had been a harsh one, and she was still reeling—on her bad days. But she’d learned to adapt and move on.

What had Cisco himself taught her? That patience was key.

She wasn’t going to resign herself to what life had in store for her, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t prepare for the worst.

When she’d been able to calm herself and look at the situation more objectively, she’d asked more questions. She’d recognized the name Villanueva because it was Camilla’s maiden name. And so she’d quickly managed to put two and two together.

From her understanding, the marriage contract had been signed when her father had still been around, which meant he’d been complicit to it, too. And it had all started with Cisco choosing to marry Yuyu instead of Camilla, his original fiancée. His refusal had resulted in another marriage arrangement. This time with Noelle as the collateral.

She’d learned that Sergio was thirty years her senior—

, in her opinion—and that he was a landowner from northeastern Mexico. He’d already been married a handful times, which never bode well. All indicated that it was a disaster waiting to happen—for her, and for her future.

But Noelle was nothing if not determined. And though she’d already decided she would do whatever it took to avoid that fate, she’d started preparing in advance.

After all, knowledge was power.

She’d researched the entire geography of the region, and she’d started taking online Spanish lessons—all in an attempt to be prepared when the time came.

Her family might want to dump her in a foreign country and leave her defenseless, but she was not about to go down without a fight.

But her optimistic outlook would not have been possible without one variable.

She’d never imagined that one day, when she’d been at her lowest, she would have confessed her problems to Blue—

She’d shared her situation, without any identifiable details, of course, and he had shared his own worries in return.

That one conversation had sparked the most precious friendship Noelle had ever dreamed of.

She’d gathered he was in college, so that made him a few years older than her. But that didn’t matter to her. Not when they were on the same wavelength, communicating so effortlessly. They had the same sense of humor, and shared many of the same interests.

Though they still played games in the team format every now and then, she and Blue chatted daily.

Usually, it involved mundane conversations, watching movies or tv shows together or reading something and discussing the subject matter afterwards.

It might seem silly for her to be so excited for something like that, but for the first time in her life she felt seen. She was no longer Noelle, the odd girl who wore too much black, or the weird chick who played the piano. She certainly wasn’t the psycho piano girl anymore.

No, for Blue she was just curiouscat. His —curiouscat.

He listened to her and she listened to him. It had been entirely eye-opening to find someone who actually listened to her opinions without mocking them, or without diminishing her intellect. Though Blue could be playful and sarcastic, he was never belittling. He made her comfortable to share her thoughts, and she liked to think he felt the same in return.

Suddenly, a green dot appeared next to his name and her pulse sped up.

‘Hullo, stranger,’ she drawled.

‘My, my curiouscat. So early. Anyone else and they’d think you’re too eager,’ he chuckled.

‘Is that so?’ she raised a brow, her lips tipped into a perpetual smile.

‘But I know the truth. You’re just dying to see the next episode,’ he added playfully.

‘Maybe I’m dying to talk to you,’ she fired back, inadvertently revealing the truth.

There was a brief pause, and she hoped she hadn’t said the wrong thing.

Though they’d been talking for months now, their friendship was still relatively new. She didn’t want to scare him away with her other thoughts—the not so clean or friendly ones.

‘You’d better. Otherwise I’d wonder why you’ve been torturing yourself with me this whole time,’ he laughed. ‘Especially after you took on the challenge to educate me in pop culture.’

‘And I’ve taken my lesson seriously, haven’t I? You’re now familiar with all the American Pie movies, Blue. I’d say that’s a success.’

‘Is it? Then maybe you should give me an award to add to my resume. Think about it: Beginner in pop culture—curiouscat approved.’

She threw her head back and laughed.

‘I can certainly do that,’ she told him, still giggling.

Opening a blank paint file, she scribbled a few words, adding a cat clip art and sending it to him.

‘I’ll be sorely disappointed if you don’t tattoo that somewhere on your body,’ she added, barely holding her laughter in.

The card read:

Then she’d signed herself with a cat picture.

‘This is gold,’ he exclaimed after he opened the file. ‘I might have to take you up on that.’

‘If you do, send a picture. I want to see where my first and last piece of art ends up,’ she chortled.

‘Wait a moment,’ he said, and Noelle blinked.

Was he… Was he really going to…

Not a minute later and he sent her a picture. It was of his arm, and he’d copied the sentence and doodled a very wonky cat.

‘What do you think now?’ He asked smugly.

‘Well, I’d say I’m not the only one who should end her art career with that drawing.’

‘Curiouscat! I’m offended. Can’t you see how life-like this is?’ he intoned playfully.

‘I can only see a mutant cat who,’ she paused as she zoomed in on the picture, ‘unfortunately grew a fifth leg.’

‘That’s not a leg. It’s the tail.’

‘It looks like a leg, Blue.’

‘Well, it’s a tail. And I happen to think that it’s a wonderful cat. You’re just jealous that my cat is better than yours.’

‘Uhuh, if you say so,’ she cracked a smile. ‘I may admit defeat if you promise not to wipe that off for…a week?’

‘A week? Deal,’ he laughed.

But just as she was about to say something else, she couldn’t help but be intrigued by the picture he’d sent. Granted, it only contained an area of his arm, but Noelle studied it closely, noting tanned skin, green, prominent veins and hints of blonde hair.

Her eyes widened, just as her mouth spread into a wide grin.

So her Blue was blonde, tanned, and probably handsome. Of course, she didn’t know the latter, but in her imagination he was always good looking. Almost like his avatar in the game. Blonde, blue eyed and having a roguish look about him.

‘I think we left off at episode five, no?’ Blue asked. She found herself blushing as she realized she’d been staring at that picture for far too long.

‘Yep,’ she declared, popping the p. ‘And after that episode you can tell me what you decided to write your lit paper on. I’m curious,’ she said as she opened a can of diet coke, taking a sip.

‘Fine,’ he chuckled. ‘Sometimes you’re more enthusiastic about my classes than I am.’

‘I find the courses you chose fascinating,’ she told him honestly. ‘I’ve always been a fan of literature, but I’ve never been able to discuss it with anyone,’ her voice dropped a notch in disappointment.

She supposed that it all came down to the fact that she always seemed to have a different interpretation than the rest. Because of that, her opinion was often regarded as strange. Of course, no one would tell her that to her face. But she’d always felt it in the way her teachers and classmates regarded her—as if she’d said the most stupid thing.

Her love of literature had taken a hit then, when she’d become more and more self-conscious about speaking out and sharing her thoughts. And at some point, she’d stopped trying altogether.

It wasn’t the same with Blue. Although it had taken some coaxing for her to give her opinion on certain pieces, he’d praised her insight, calling it fresh and original.

She’d never been praised like that before! But she’d never been good at anything aside from the piano before, either. From the beginning, her identity had been wrapped in being a pianist—nothing else. It didn’t matter that she spoke two languages fluently—English and Italian—or that she was well-read and had amassed a great deal of general knowledge.

No, there had never been anything more to her than the piano.

‘Really?’ He sounded incredulous. ‘I find that hard to believe. Remember when we did that joint reading of the Odyssey? You made such great points about it. I won’t deny that I might have used some in the class discussion.’

Noelle blinked, replaying every word he’d just said in her mind. Her cheeks reddened just as her mouth became dry.

‘You did?’ she whispered, giddiness taking shape inside of her.

‘You’re not mad, I hope? But the points you made about Penelope were just too good.’

‘No, of course not,’ she hurried to say. ‘I guess I’m flattered,’ she admitted, but she didn’t tell him no one had ever told her she’d made It was a compliment she would keep close to her heart and cherish.

‘You should be. In fact, I’m looking forward to hearing your thoughts about this one, if you want to read it together, that is,’ he offered, and she could sense a little hesitation.

He didn’t want to impose on her with his schoolwork, not realizing that she discussing with him. And the more intellectually stimulating, the more satisfying the discussion was.

Sometimes, it felt like something akin to having their minds open up, connecting to one another through a pure vibrational energy that made them think—

—in sync.

It was an ineffable phenomenon that spoke to her core. A giddiness that had nothing to do with the fact that he might be a handsome man—though she imagined he was—and everything to do with the fact that she found his beautiful, and he found hers in return.

‘What is it?’

‘It’s a more obscure work, called The Plumed Serpent by D.H. Lawrence. I chose it because it overlaps with my area of study.’

Blue had shared with her that he was interested in ancient Meso-America and wanted to study ritual tools used in the area for his dissertation. She’d offered to listen to him talk about the subject whenever he wanted since she might learn a thing or two about the customs of the area.

‘Count me in, Blue,’ she added cheekily, already curious about the contents of the book.

And with that, they jumped straight into the tv show. Noelle with her flaming hot Cheetos and diet coke, and Blue with his preferred snack of Pirate’s Booty.

The conversation flowed naturally as they reacted to scenes and discussed events from the episode. But in no time, they were done, and Noelle felt her pulse speed up at the thought of ending the call too early.

Blue had become her safe haven, their interactions the only thing she was looking forward to in the day. And every time, she attempted to draw out the conversation more—anything to chat with him for a few more minutes.

‘Are you going home this weekend?’ she suddenly asked.

‘Yes,’ he sighed. ‘My mother has been pleading with me nonstop to come.’

He’d shared that his relationship with his mother was strained because of how she behaved with his other siblings.

‘At least you have a mother who cares,’ she muttered under her breath.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said after a moment. ‘I know my mom has good intentions when it comes to me, but I can’t forgive her for everything she’s done,’ he sighed.

‘I think I’d rather have someone who was a villain but put me above everyone than someone who would sacrifice me in a second.’

‘Do you?’ Blue mused. ‘Maybe theoretically, but she didn’t hurt random people. She hurt my siblings whom I love.’

‘Maybe I am more selfish than most, but I would still choose that over nothing,’ Noelle admitted, almost embarrassed. ‘Wouldn’t you want someone who accepted you and loved you for who you truly are?’

‘But that’s the thing. My mother may love me because I am her son, but that’s never stopped her from trying to mold me into who she wants me to be. Yes, she loves me, but I don’t think she’s ever stopped to really look at me—to understand me,’ Blue confessed, the words pouring out of him and revealing the depth of his issue with his mother.

‘Then maybe we’re in the same boat,’ Noelle said softly. ‘Everyone in my life has tried to change me one way or another. I’ve never had someone accept me for who I am—at least not without always criticizing me for what I be.’

‘And it doesn’t work like that,’ Blue agreed.

‘It only makes me feel inadequate,’ she pursed her lips, her heart contracting in her chest.

‘I know the feeling,’ he laughed dryly. ‘I guess I would be selfish in that case too. If I found someone who accepted of me, who loved me for who I am, then maybe I would be able to forgive everything.’

‘Because she’d be yours and yours alone,’ she mentioned, a heartwarming vision taking shape inside her head. Maybe it was silly to add a feminine pronoun to the equation. He’d never said he was looking for a woman to fulfill all those requirements. Yet Noelle, in her delusion, could almost see herself in that position.

‘Yes. And I’d be hers and hers alone,’ he replied in a soft voice—one that surprised her.

‘You’ll have that, Blue. I’m certain of it.’

‘You will, too. You’re pretty awesome, you know that?’

She blinked, the compliment hitting her in the chest and making her head swim with giddiness. Her cheeks heated, her pulse through the roof as she stared at the screen.

‘You…’ She cleared her throat. ‘You think so?’

‘Of course,’ he replied. ‘I’ve never met someone as cool as you. We may have started on the wrong foot in the game, but I’ve never been able to be this open with someone,’ he paused, and she could envision him shrugging. ‘I know this might sound cheesy because we’ve never even met. But I really appreciate our friendship.’

‘Me too. I’ve never met someone I could share these things with. And it’s not cheesy. I appreciate our friendship, too. I’m not very social in real life and people usually don’t like me,’ she took a deep breath, feeling oddly emotional. Before she could continue, though, he spoke.

‘Well, I like you,’ he declared proudly.

Noelle was frozen to the spot at his statement.

‘You…do?’

Damn it, but she sounded so insecure. Yet she was hearing those words from someone for the first time. And he wasn’t just .

He was Blue.

Her best friend. Her… Ok, maybe her feelings for him weren’t quite so friendly, though she was still coming to terms with that. Because how could she possibly fall in love with someone she’d never seen—someone she’d never even heard though they’d been speaking for months?

It was beyond outrageous to think she could develop feelings—deep, deep feelings—for someone like that. It was absolutely delusional.

But she did.

Noelle DeVille was falling for Blue—an online person she’d never seen.

In her mind, he was the most handsome guy. But she suspected it wouldn’t matter if he wasn’t traditionally good looking. What mattered was the way he listened and understood her. The way he told her he her with all her idiosyncrasies.

‘I wouldn’t be here, for hours on end, day, if I didn’t like you. I like spending time with you, Curiouscat,’ he told her, his tone different from before. It was more serious, more…

‘I like you, too,’ she admitted, a shiver going down her back. ‘And I hope we can continue like this for a long, long time.’

‘You bet,’ he chuckled, adding more levity to his tone. ‘You’re not getting rid of me so easily. We have another five seasons of Smallville to watch.’

She smiled, leaning back in her chair and staring at the computer, not for the first time wondering what Blue was doing on the other side of the screen.

Since they both had some spare time—Blue, because the following day was Saturday and he didn’t have classes, and Noelle because her mother wasn’t due for another few hours—they decided to continue with their show.

‘I find it interesting that they chose to show multiple love interests when everyone knows Lois Lane is Superman’s endgame,’ Noelle commented as she munched on her flaming hot Cheetos.

‘Lana was his high school crush. I think they wanted to put an emphasis on his human side, and that he had normal human relationships,’ Blue added.

‘Is it that abnormal to have a high school crush? I never had one,’ she said deliberately, holding her breath and hoping he would offer some information about himself and whether he’d had one.

‘It’s not. I didn’t have one either,’ he said matter-of-factly, and Noelle felt like she could breathe again. ‘But I don’t think my high school experience was normal. I was only trying to graduate. I didn’t have time for other things.’

‘So you’ve never had a crush before?’ She probed, needing to know more.

‘Nope. Dating isn’t in the books for me now.’

‘But if it would be. What would you go for?’

‘Someone who liked me for who I am, of course,’ he answered immediately.

‘What about physical characteristics? Or mannerisms?’ Noelle knew she shouldn’t push much more, but she couldn’t help herself. She saw an opening and she took it.

‘Someone feminine,’ he paused, and she could feel the smile on his face. ‘Dainty.’

Well, that was easy enough—she was pretty dainty. Her lips spread into a smile.

‘Someone who’d let me protect and provide for her.’

Noelle’s brows went up as a tingle spread down to her tummy. Now that was surprising, but why did it sound so appealing? More than that, why was Blue telling her everything she wanted to hear?

‘What about you?’ He suddenly asked. ‘What type would you go for?’

‘Someone who loved me,’ she smiled. ‘Someone who understood me, and always had my back. More than anything…Someone who trusted me and who I trusted implicitly.’

‘I like that,’ he commented.

‘That’s why I think Chloe is the best choice for Clark. They have the perfect friendship, trust and understanding.’

‘I agree,’ Blue said, surprising her. ‘I like their relationship best, too. Who wouldn’t like to be absolute best friends with their lover? Actually, scratch that. Who would settle for anything less than being best friends with their lover?’

Noelle bit her lip, her heart hammering at her ribcage. Who, indeed?

She knew she would never want anything less. But she also knew something else. Something she might have intuited before but never quite acknowledged fully.

She was in love with her best friend.