Chapter 8: The Sins of Noelle: Chapter 8

‘Do you realize what this means, Noelle?’ Cisco asked her as he perused the contents of the document in front of him.

Noelle nodded.

‘I don’t want to go back to school either,’ she confirmed, though she didn’t have much choice after the school had decided to expel her.

In a moment of shock coupled with what a doctor had called a manic episode, Noelle had performed on the stage of the celebrated Carnegie Hall covered in blood and brain matter from head to toe.

Initially, the audience had thought the gory display was part of the performance since Noelle’s music had taken a lugubrious turn. But when the police arrived at the scene, evacuating everyone so they could conduct their investigation, they quickly realized the blood was very real.

Though Ann Marie’s death had been ruled a suicide, Noelle had been judged harshly for her actions and the fact that she’d gone on to perform in such conditions.

Multiple news outlets had run the story, calling her the , with some even going as far as to suggest she might have had something to do with Ann Marie’s death.

Of course, since there had been multiple witnesses at the scene who’d corroborated Noelle’s account that it had been a suicide, the police had not pursued the matter further.

Regardless of the lack of legal implications, Noelle’s reputation was in shambles. Not only were people reviling her for her gall to go on stage covered in the bodily fluids of her deceased classmates, but they were also calling her a psychopath.

Multiple blogs had already published their own conspiracy theories, and with accounts from multiple classmates who’d never liked Noelle, she suddenly became persona non grata It didn’t matter that her name had been crossed out because she was a minor, or that her face had been blurred out. Everyone knew about She couldn’t even go outside for fear she might run into a media outlet looking for an interview, let alone go to school—

The school’s reasoning had been simple. They did not want the bad publicity associated with Noelle and had done everything in their power to separate themselves from her.

‘Noelle,’ Cisco sighed. ‘We tried to make this go away but…’ he trailed off, a weary look on his face. He would have been able to make it go away had she not performed that damned piece. Worst of all, someone had obtained CCTV images which showed her smiling after she’d left the crime scene—all more evidence for people to condemn her as the worst type of monster.

‘Why is no one talking about the fact that she tried to kill me?’ She looked up, meeting Cisco’s gaze. ‘Why is no one talking about her stealing my piece? Or playing ugly pranks on me? Why am the bad guy?’

‘People always love a show. And you gave them exactly that,’ Cisco added dryly.

‘But you don’t believe that I did what they say, do you?’ She asked carefully, watching for his expression.

‘Thomas gave us an account of what happened. It was clearly suicide,’ Cisco replied carefully.

It didn’t escape Noelle that he never once said he believed her.

She blinked.

‘If that’s all for today, may I be excused?’

‘Of course. We’ll see you at dinner.’

Noelle nodded absentmindedly as she went upstairs to her room.

The moment she opened the door, though, the first thing that caught her eye was the hair pin. The feather hair pin Ann Marie had given her.

‘Do it. Kill me. It will only turn me into a martyr and you into an insane little girl who wasn’t enough. Who will never be enough.’

The words resounded in her head as she remembered the moment right before Ann Marie had died.

‘I’ll be the sacrifice and you’ll forever be the lunatic who murdered me,’ she’d continued in an ominous tone. She’d taunted the girl, hoping to break her. Ironically enough, it had happened the other way around.

Noelle was the lunatic, and Ann Marie was the sanctified victim in the entire debacle—the innocent little lamb who’d succumbed to Noelle’s vicious words.

Yet there was one gimmer of truth. Beyond all the unfounded insults thrown at Noelle, there was the unwavering reality that Ann Marie’s death had not exactly been a suicide.

When her words had not worked, Noelle had realized Ann Marie had one goal, and one goal only.

She was too far gone in her hate and in her warped perceptions. She’d set out to kill Noelle and she was well on her way to do it.

And she would have succeeded had it not been for Noelle’s quick thinking.

She’d leaned in and whispered all of the things Ann Marie would never be, striking her where it hurt. The moment she’d noted a reaction out of Ann Marie, her focus momentarily off, Noelle had pushed the gun away from her and towards Ann Marie.

They’d been so close that it had been entirely too easy to tip the barrel of the gun towards her face rather than Noelle’s. And as soon as Ann Marie had noticed that, her finger had instinctively pressed down on the trigger, the bullet catching her in her jaw and blowing through her skull.

Noelle had been hit by the combination of bone and bodily fluids, and though it had hurt a little on impact, it had been nothing compared to what could have happened to her had she not moved the gun in time.

Thomas’ shot had been fortuitous, but as Noelle remembered it, a few seconds too late.

Her entire body started trembling as she took a seat on her bed. Clenching her fists, she took a deep breath as she tried to regain control.

She had killed her—Ann Marie.

Yes, it had been a life and death situation. But Noelle had purposefully chosen herself over Ann Marie. She’d been in complete control, maneuvering the situation in her favor.

Did that make her a bad person?

She didn’t know. And that was the crux of the issue.

Already one week had passed since the disaster from Carnegie Hall and she still did not know how to feel—or how to process what had happened.

She did feel revolted for the way she’d been portrayed online and maligned on social media. That her off.

But guilt…where was the guilt?

She knew there had to be some guilt—

it to be there. Yet she couldn’t find it in her to be sorry.

She’d chosen herself. Like she’d always done before. She’d put herself first.

There had been a time when she’d tried to get to the bottom of it, asking herself why would she do that considering her life was far from perfect? That she barely had anyone cheering her in her corner. Ann Marie, on the other hand, had that in spades.

Noelle knew the girl had plenty of friends, and from what she’d observed, she was very well liked. The exact opposite of Noelle.

So what made more worthy of living than Ann Marie?

The more she thought about it, the more she realized she didn’t any external factors to be worthy. She didn’t need others’ validation to be a complete human being.

Noelle had always been on her own. She’d never had friends, and she’d never been liked by people. Still, that hadn’t changed her own view of herself.

She who she was—blunt, honest, . So what if people didn’t like her for who she was? She liked herself plenty.

She was aware she had negative qualities—who didn’t? The issue was that people had always overlooked her positive ones for her negative ones.

Online, it was even worse.

Though Noelle had been the rightful performer that night—though she’d won the competition fair and square—people accused her of bullying her classmate and driving her to suicide. The fact that she’d been so blasé about her death made her even more of a monster.

Noelle had been unable to help herself as she’d searched the internet about the incident. Yet the more she read, the more outraged she became.

Even in death, Ann Marie was being a pest.

So Noelle had done what she’d considered best at the time—which, admittedly, might not have been the idea—and she’d created multiple accounts in which she’d tried to come to her own defense.

The result?

She’d been even more bullied online. Other users had been quick to point out it was probably a sympathizer or Noelle herself. Because it was impossible for her to have on her side, wasn’t it?

If before Noelle had felt alone, now that the entire world the internet were against her, she felt even so.

And if things weren’t already bad enough, that night at dinner she received the worst blow of all.

‘You should go back upstate,’ her brother suddenly told her.

Her hand froze on her fork. Blinking, she asked him to repeat his words.

‘It’s not safe for you to be in the city anymore. I think it’s best if you went back home.’

‘But I won’t go out,’ she protested.

‘It makes no difference. It’s just a matter of time before people find our address and start camping out in front of the building to get a shot of you. You’re better off upstate.’

‘But…’

‘I’ve already talked to our mother and she agrees with me.’

Yuyu was silent by his side, her gaze flickering between her and Cisco.

‘I don’t want to stay with mamma,’ she said in a small voice.

Normally, she would have reacted with outrage, yet at that moment she had none of her usual force.

Her mother…

She hadn’t seen her since the incident, and even then, it had been momentarily and with Cisco and Yuyu present. Elena hadn’t dared do anything she would have normally done—yell, slap, or curse her out.

But to move back home? To go back to living with her?

‘I’m sorry, Noelle. But you’ll have to,’ Cisco stated, his harsh tone indicating it was the end of the discussion. ‘The driver will take you back tomorrow. You should pack in advance.’

Too stunned at his decree, she simply excused herself from the table.

‘You were too hard on her, love,’ Yuyu commented after Noelle went upstairs.

‘I was. And she didn’t even talk back,’ he pursed his lips. ‘I’ll have a doctor discreetly check in on her. I don’t think it’s normal.’

‘She could stay with us. You don’t need to send her back home,’ Yuyu tried to reason with him, but Cisco wouldn’t have it.

‘No. She needs to be away from all this for a while. It’s not good, Yuyu. It’s not good at all,’ he added grimly.

Cisco, more than Noelle, knew that the situation was even worse than what was portrayed in the media. Despite the fact that various sources were speculating on Noelle’s involvement due to her behavior at the concert, there had been no evidence to condemn her as officially guilty.

But Cisco was the only reason why there had been evidence.

With Thomas’ additional shot, Ann Marie’s parents had asked for an autopsy to determine the cause of death.

Though the autopsy had yielded no conclusive evidence as to whether it had been Thomas’ shot or her own that killed her, it had revealed something very interesting about the angle of the shot.

It had been skewed.

So skewed, in fact, that Ann Marie couldn’t have turned her hand in such a manner.

Ballistics experts had weighed in, and the conclusion had been that someone must have held the gun to her chin when she’d accidentally pressed on the trigger, making the case a homicide instead of suicide.

Of course, none of that information had ever seen the light of the day.

Cisco had made sure to bury everything pertaining to the case and pay off the experts from testifying. And with Ann Marie’s parents demanding her remains be cremated, it had been the perfect opportunity to get rid of all the evidence.

The official reports stated that it had been suicide, and that was what needed to believe.

Due to the controversial nature of the scandal and the fact that people were bent on scrutinizing Noelle’s every move, he couldn’t risk anyone looking closer into the case.

And just as he’d told Yuyu, he didn’t think it was normal. Not how Noelle had reacted in the immediate aftermath of Ann Marie’s death, and not now, a week after.

Yuyu was worried about her too, and Cisco had asked her to keep a close eye on Noelle and tell him if she noticed anything out of the ordinary.

While Cisco looked at the facts and concluded something was wrong, Yuyu looked at Noelle’s emotive displays, determining the same thing.

‘I wasn’t much older than her when I killed my first target,’ Yuyu had told him. ‘Remember how I reacted?’

Cisco did remember. It had been one of the hardest moments in his life, and one where he could empathize with another person. Though her target deserved it, Yuyu had been guilt stricken for weeks afterwards, shutting herself from the world and becoming a shell of her person. She couldn’t even talk about it without bursting into tears.

That she’d become one of the most wanted assassins in the country’s history was a testament to her resilience and the fact that she’d learned how to regulate her emotions—how to separate her job from who she was.

Still, the fact that Cisco had basically forced her into a life that was so antithetic to who she was at her core was one of his deepest regrets. Yet once more, he’d only realized that too late.

He didn’t want to make the same mistake now with his sister.

And Yuyu’s conclusions about her behavior had only reinforced his worries.

Noelle had acted as someone who’d had a hand in a person’s death. She didn’t even act as someone who’d seen death up close, which could be just as traumatizing.

And that begged the question…

?

The following day, Noelle was sent back upstate. Upon arriving, Elena pretended to be the model of decorum while other people were around, but as soon as they were alone, she finally showed her true colors—and the contempt she held Noelle for turning her life upside down.

Noelle was unpacking her luggage, still bummed about returning home when the door to her room suddenly burst open.

‘Damn you, Noelle! Damn you to hell,’ Elena yelled.

Noelle barely had time to turn when Elena pulled on her hair, her fingers lodged in her scalp. She gave a small yelp of pain as she stumbled to her knees. But Elena had plenty of time to continue, slap after slap coming down on her face.

‘Stop,’ Noelle pleaded. ‘Stop, please,’ she whimpered when she felt the sting in her scalp, only to see a big chunk of her hair in her mother’s grasp.

‘I can’t show my face anywhere because of you! Everyone is asking me about the murderer of a daughter—the monster I gave birth to,’ she spat at Noelle, kicking her to the ground.

Curling into a fetal position, Noelle attempted to regulate her breath long enough to pull herself together. But Elena wasn’t done.

Slap after slap, she couldn’t dodge any of the blows as they reddened her skin, the pain almost too much.

Yet Noelle didn’t give her mother the satisfaction of seeing her cry.

A few whimpers were wrenched from her when the pain was too much, but other than that, Noelle kept a stoic expression on her face.

She didn’t know how long the entire thing lasted. At the end, both Noelle and Elena were breathing hard.

‘You’re grounded,’ Elena eventually said as she took a step back. ‘You’re not allowed to get out of the house until everything dies down, you hear me?’ The unspoken implication was clear—

Noelle didn’t reply to her, merely sitting on the floor and looking away from Elena.

Her mother continued to curse her out for what she perceived as the loss of her social status. It didn’t matter that Noelle’s full name had not been released to the press. Everyone had intuited it had been her, and the rumors had swept through Elena’s social circles, turning into an outsider too.

Only when her mother left did Noelle finally find the strength to pick herself up, her mother’s words swirling in her head.

Until everything died down? And how long was that? A year? Two? Until Elena could find someone to take Noelle off her hands?

Suddenly, tears pricked at her eyes, but it wasn’t because of the pain. No, this was all for the future she’d never have. All the plans she’d made had disintegrated in the blink of an eye.

All the freedom she’d dreamed of… Her career, her life…

It was over. Really over.

For the first time in a week, Noelle couldn’t keep herself in check anymore. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she let herself be one with her grief.

She was always bound to be the bad guy.

For once, just for once, she wished she could be the guy in someone’s life.

That night, she cried until no more tears came out. She cried for all the hopes she’d built, for all the work she’d put in. She cried for the chances she’d never had and the futility of the moment.

Somehow, she knew that this time there was no way out.

She was .

With her movements restricted and with the way Elena was watching her like a hawk, Noelle didn’t have much to do at home. Everyone was involved in damage control, one way or another, while she was becoming a prisoner in her own home.

Even playing the piano proved useless.

Every time she sat down, placing her fingers on the keys, she could Ann Marie in front of her. The oozing blood, the gaping wound, and the brain melting as it spilled from her skull.

Day and night, she could see all of that.

It wasn’t just the piano that triggered the visions. The moment she closed her eyes to sleep was the moment she came face to face with blood. So much blood.

Rot, decay and the stench of death. It accompanied her And so, at the end of one week of her exile, Noelle determined she couldn’t go on like that.

She was tired, unhappy, and quite possibly on the brink.

Yet she hadn’t fought so hard for her life just to squander it like that. No, she her life and she knew that she may feel hopeless at the moment, but that would soon pass too. There would come a time where she could break free—that she vowed to herself.

Until then, though, she needed to learn to cope.

One day, as she was browsing the internet, her fingers itching to do another search of the incident and see what people were saying about her, she decided she needed to step away from that added stress. In turn, she clicked on the ad for an online game, thinking that might be just the thing to help her pass the time.

She’d played online games before, and she’d always enjoyed the competitive side of them. Though she’d always wanted to dedicate more time and effort to them, she’d always been busy with her piano. Back then, she’d reasoned that to be the best she needed to gain a tunnel focus where the piano was concerned, so she’d only allowed herself very few distractions—only enough to help her get more inspiration when she felt burned out.

‘Well, nothing’s stopping me now,’ she mumbled to herself as she set up an account within the game.

With so much time on her hands, she supposed she could dedicate herself to something else—and given her personality, she always poured her heart and soul in whatever she did.

Her lips pursed as she released a tired sigh. Her thoughts brought her back to the piano—the fact that it was still her greatest love, yet at the same time it was becoming her biggest phobia.

She loved music. But now she hated the thought of people hearing it…and judging her.

And that was the root of all things. She was tired of being judged, of having every little action scrutinized and turned on its head.

For a moment she just wanted to be anyone but herself.

Not Noelle DeVille, but someone else. Someone…

Noelle stared at the screen as it asked her for her login information and preferred username. She’d chosen this particular game because it was a simulation of real life—a chance to become someone else.

Swallowing hard, she could feel excitement bubble inside of her as she brought her fingers to the keyboard to type.

her new username. She set a password and was then asked to create an avatar.

Hovering over the choices of dress, hair style and features, Noelle decided she might as well truly reinvent herself. As a level one, she had limited coin to adorn her character, but she managed to create a girly version of herself. She chose pink hair, a pink dress and even pink shoes. She might hate the color in real life, but in the game she decided to be the opposite of who she was.

After she was done designing her avatar, Noelle read through some of the game’s guides that specified how to win challenges, make alliances and win more money so she could buy better clothes or weapons.

When she felt comfortable with the rules, she entered the game.

In the beginning everything felt so strange.

She’d played games before, but never an RPG with this level of graphics or real life simulation. Though it all happened in a fantastical setting, everything looked so real, from her human-like features of her avatar to the items present and the landscape. That in itself allowed her to quickly get immersed in the game, not noticing how time was passing by.

For the first few hours, she completed some elementary challenges that gave her some coins and a few basic accessories. But soon she realized the aim of the game wasn’t to be a solo player, but to forge connections.

Almost everyone she could see around was in a group, completing the challenges together.

With her usual apprehension regarding interacting with others, even if this time it was under an avatar, Noelle didn’t know where to start.

She spent some time sightseeing the realm and checking out the areas, keeping her eyes open to other solo travelers that she could befriend.

The first person she met was another girl, Ginny—or who she hoped it was a girl. If Noelle disguised herself online, anyone could very well do the same.

They quickly started chatting and she realized it was Ginny’s first day in the game too. As they got a little more comfortable and got to know each other more, Ginny suggested they use the audio feature of the game—one that allowed the users to speak but with a filter on to maintain anonymity.

Noelle might have been a little reluctant at first, but as soon as she tried it and settled on a filter that could never reveal her real voice, she realized it wasn’t so bad.

Certainly, it was easier than typing everything.

Although they spent some time getting to know each other, they didn’t share too many details about their real lives, striving to keep that anonymity.

‘Have you seen the other teams? They are all balanced with the number of girls and guys.’

‘We could have an all-girl team?’ Noelle offered, though she could see the advantages of having some guys too.

The game was designed with a clear distinction between the genders and their roles in the society. As such, each had some exclusive perks. The men, in particular, had additional armor and weapon choices while the girls had more spells to choose from.

‘We’d be struggling to keep up,’ Ginny sighed.

Luckily for them, as they explored more of the realm, they met another loner traveler going by the name of Tiger. He was relatively new to the game, too, but definitely more experienced than the girls.

‘There is one player,’ Tiger started when he heard the idea of a team. ‘He’s been solo from the beginning and has refused everyone who wanted to team up with him.’

‘And you think he’s going to agree to join our team?’ Noelle narrowed her eyes.

From what Tiger told them, this player had been around for a while and he’d succeeded in a lot of challenges of his own—some that not even teams had managed before.

‘It’s worth a try,’ Tiger replied. ‘We won’t know until we try, will we?’

‘Is he as valuable as you say?’

‘He’s already on level thirty,’ he mentioned, and Noelle spared a glance to the icon in the corner that showed her own level—a measly three. But she’d quickly realized that unless she teamed up with someone it was impossible to level up.

‘That’s impressive,’ Ginny noted. ‘He’s probably been asked by everyone, though. I doubt he would align himself with us,’ she sighed as she pulled up all their levels on the screen. Besides Noelle’s third level, Ginny was on second while Tiger was on fourth.

‘We can try,’ Noelle eventually declared.

If that was their best chance at competing with the other teams, then so be it. Even in what was supposed to be a relaxing game she couldn’t temper her competitive streak.

And as she’d seen when she’d first logged in, the top teams got their own hall of fame and other perks in the game.

Used from a young age to be the best, she couldn’t imagine getting there.

A little planning with the other two, and Tiger directed them to the area where the elusive player was usually found.

As the three of them reached the clearing on top of a mystical hill, Noelle saw the lonesome figure in the distance. His avatar was dressed from head to toe in blue, his armor a light shade that shone in the sun. His hair was a dirty blonde, but she couldn’t get much on his features since he had a pirate patch on.

Though the avatars in the game were incredibly life-like, he, just like her, seemed to want to hide himself—even in the game.

He wasn’t paying any mind as they advanced towards his location. He seemed deep in thought until Tiger took a step forward and addressed him.

Immediately, his username popped up on the screen—

‘Our team is looking for another member, if you’d like to join us,’ Tiger said—straight to the point.

Blue turned, ever so slightly, and Noelle noticed the uncovered eye—an eerie blue that unsettled her.

He looked at the three of them with clear disinterest before he went back to ignoring them.

‘You’ll need a team eventually,’ Tiger continued but Noelle put her hand on his shoulder, stopping him.

‘It’s not worth it.

,’ she added dryly at his rudeness.

Her tone made him turn, his head tilted to the side as he clicked on their icons to reveal their levels, his own showing atop his head. Noelle thought that he was going to laugh at them any time now with how big the difference in their levels was.

Yet just as she turned to leave, a message in the form of a scroll appeared on the screen.

‘I will tell you what I told the others, too,’ the scroll read. ‘I will join your team if you solve one of my riddles. If you are correct, I will be part of your team. If not, you will have to move on.’

That was Noelle’s first thought as she started fuming. How dare he?

He wasn’t insulting their intelligence, wasn’t he? Trying to imply no one was good enough to solve his riddles, since none of the previous teams have been able to.

‘Fine,’ she turned to him. ‘Let’s see your riddle.’

‘Curiouscat…’ Ginny trailed off as she joined her side.

‘If we get it right, you won’t go back on your word, will you?’

‘No,’ Blue said, his pirate looks giving him a serious air.

Not a second later and the riddle appeared on the screen.

Noelle frowned for a moment. Her chat window beeped with successive texts from Ginny and Tiger, both expressing their shock at the odd turn of events.

‘Now it explains why he’s refused everyone so far,’ Tiger typed.

‘But why would he base it on a riddle?’ Ginny asked.

Noelle pursed her lips as she regarded her screen. Why indeed. Unless…

‘Maybe he is testing us,’ she offered. ‘To see if we’re a good match. The game does focus on critical thinking. Maybe it’s not a matter of level number, but of ‘

Everyone was quiet for a while.

‘Well, you guys think . I’m out,’ Ginny said before she logged off.

Tiger was still online, and Noelle could see him typing and deleting his words before he finally settled on a sentence.

‘Maybe we should just give up.’

Noelle blinked in surprise. They hadn’t even tried yet.

‘No,’ she typed. ‘I’ll try,’ she said before she could think it through.

Once more, she couldn’t stop herself from interfering—and she could definitely let a challenge pass by her.

Taking a moment to herself, she simply repeated the words of the riddle out loud.

‘Male. Female. Great. Great woman,’ she mused, taking her notepad out and scribbling out some letters, her brows furrowed as she tried some combinations.

A beeping sound alerted her to her screen, only to watch Blue give them a salute before walking away.

‘Wait,’ she activated her microphone. ‘Heroine,’ she quickly said, though the word had just come to her mind.

He did stop. Turning, the avatar displayed an odd smile as he took a few steps towards them.

‘You’re the first one to get it right,’ he chuckled. ‘I guess that means I’m in?’

‘Yes, of course. You’re in,’ Tiger suddenly said, sending Curiouscat a big thumbs up.

‘And the team is complete,’ she breathed out in relief.

‘Now what’s the first mission?’ Blue inquired.

His digitized voice was deep, and a little distorted from the filter he’d used. Still, that coupled with his avatar and his solo achievements sparked Noelle’s interest. So much so that she couldn’t even be mad at him for his stupid riddle.

As a team, everyone came together and set some rules, among which one stated that they shouldn’t give any personal details. Their personal lives were their business. For the team, only what happened in the game mattered.

Soon, they had the perfect routine. Weeks passed, and the four of them would meet daily at the same designated time to play for a few hours. They would chat, fulfill challenges and spar with other teams. It was all fun and Noelle soon found herself entirely immersed in her new virtual reality.

Everything was going better than she’d expected, and though the conversations never strayed into their personal lives, she felt as if she’d made some good friends.

But there was one thing that bothered her.

Though she’d been the one to get the riddle right, he’d barely acknowledged it—certainly as she’d wanted him to. Instead, every time she proposed something, he opposed it. Every time she suggested a different approach, he had another idea—which, of course, was always best received. So what if his ideas turned out to be the best—it was all given his wealth of experience.

But what bothered Noelle the most was that she seemed invisible.

From the start, he’d seemed a little larger than life with his imposing presence, battle strategy, and even that damn digitized voice of his. She didn’t know why she’d imprinted so much on him from the start, but as the days trickled by, she realized she his validation.

Maybe it was because he was so good at what he did—the best really—and she was attracted to competence. But she wished for nothing more than to earn his praise.

That prompted a series of failed challenges that made her more of a mockery than the she wanted to be. Instead of getting praise from him—

—all she’d gotten had been laughter.

It all came crashing down one day when her impatience got the best of her and she ended up falling into a trap, thus losing half her levels.

She’d entered the game a little earlier than the designated time in hopes she could secure some additional bounty before everyone else arrived. Instead, all she’d done had been to lose what she’d worked so hard for.

‘You’re a walking disaster, aren’t you?’ His voice resounded as Noelle’s avatar was struggling to not sink into the quicksand hole she’d fallen into.

She noted he’d logged on earlier, too, and was now standing by the sidelines, watching her with amusement.

‘You could help instead of watching me sink,’ she mumbled dryly.

‘What can I say, it makes for a nice sight,’ he chuckled, and she heard the snap of a camera.

‘You…’ she ground her jaw as she realized he’d screen recorded her shame.

‘Got to keep it for the others. I’m sure they will love to see this.’

‘You’re dead, Blue,’ she promised as she continued to struggle.

‘Nope.

dead unless I help you.’

‘Well? Please do,’ she rolled her eyes at the screen. Really, just what she needed. To have Blue witness her failed attempts when she’d just been trying to impress him. Ok, maybe him was going a little too far. But after all the other disasters she’d caused within the team, she’d wanted to do something good.

She’d wanted one word of praise from him—a tiny would have sufficed.

But now?

‘Ask me nicely and I will,’ he retorted, his voice tinged with amusement.

‘Please?’ she gritted her teeth as she said it. She was aware that the more her avatar struggled, the more points she would lose until ultimately she’d lose her life.

But his help didn’t come immediately. He waited at least a few more seconds, leaving her in suspense as she continued to sink before he procured a rope.

Throwing the rope at her, Noelle grabbed on to it just as Blue pulled her out of the quicksand with one effortless tug.

‘Thank you,’ she murmured as she saw the state of her clothing. It wasn’t enough she’d lost half her levels, now she had to part with some coin to replace her ruined clothes, too.

‘You’re welcome,’ he winked with his one good eye, and Noelle felt herself getting flustered.

Surely it wasn’t normal to feel drawn to an animated character, right?

Yet she couldn’t deny the life-like appearance of the avatar, or the fact that despite the roguish look and the pirate patch, Blue looked…good.

Behind the screen, Noelle blushed to her roots as she covered her eyes with her hands.

She must be going crazy. That was the only explanation. Her time in isolation plus having to put up with her rather insane mother and the ongoing gossip surrounding her must have driven her to insanity.

Yet it wasn’t the character itself that made her blush. It was the whole package and the fact that…his competence was appealing. There, she’d said it. She found his self-assured manner, his brilliant strategies and competence in battle very attractive.

Since he’d joined their team, they’ve been winning battle after battle—if it weren’t for her stupid attempts at standing out, which ended up with their loss.

Like now…

‘You need supervision, Curiouscat,’ he said. ‘I still can’t believe that you were the one to answer my riddle,’ he continued, and Noelle felt her temper rise.

Did he mean… Did that mean she wasn’t good enough?

But just as she was about to snap at him, he said something entirely unexpected.

”Come on, let’s get your levels back.’

Noelle gawked at the screen, unable to believe what she’d heard. Did he just…offer to help her get her levels back?

‘I’m not your charity case,’ she found herself saying instead.

‘No, you’re my teammate. And that means your levels reflect on all of us. So come,’ he said more forcefully, his hand reaching out for hers and dragging her forward.

She protested—

Here she was, in front of the person she’d been trying to impress with her nonexistent skills, and what was the worst way of going about it other than have see how bad her skills were?

‘You’re such an arrogant…’ she trailed off as she heard him chuckle.

‘An Arrogant what?’

‘Pirate,’ she sputtered, throwing the first word that came to mind. ‘Knight-pirate or whatever your costume is.’

‘What I am is the person who’s going to help you regain your points back. Now be a good girl and follow me.’

‘W-what?’ Noelle blinked behind her screen, her outrage growing by the second.

But before she could give him another one of her not so great lines, they came to a crowd of people—

A guardian was holding a captive mystical beast, and anyone could offer to fight it. Whoever won, got one hundred levels split between the team members.

‘You want me to play that?’

‘Of course. It’s the best chance to get back your levels and a little extra,’ Blue said, directing her to the line and signing her up before she could vocalize another protest.

‘I’ll help you, of course, like the good teammate that I am.’

Noelle could hear the smugness in his voice, and her lip twitched in annoyance. But if he was able to get her the levels back, then she was not going to argue.

After they signed up, the screen changed, showing them inside a room together with the beast.

‘Do you know what type of beast this is?’ Blue suddenly asked as the creature circled around them.

‘Should I?’ She frowned.

‘It was in the history of the realm book. But I’m guessing you didn’t read it, did you?’

Noelle flushed in embarrassment. Yet another thing she’d not done right.

‘Skip the history lesson and tell me what I need to know,’ she answered in a snappy voice, which she barely subdued.

Damn him, and damn the way he made her feel. Why was it that he was such an infuriating person but also someone whose approval she yearned for?

She couldn’t understand the dichotomy.

Maybe because he reminded her of her brother? Someone authoritative but who she looked up to? Yet at the same time, it felt wrong to put him anywhere near her Shaking herself, she focused on the game and what she needed to do, reasoning that it all stemmed from her desire to be the best. But in this case, was the best.

Blue explained to her that this particular mystical beast was allergic to a plant . As soon as he said the name, though, she remembered she’d collected that a few days prior.

‘That’s it. You remember now,’ Blue observed when she removed the plant from her collection.

‘How are we going to use it, then?’

‘Here,’ he removed the same rope he’d used to save her, and coming to her side he took the plant from her hands and proceeded to lather it all over the length of the rope.

‘Smart,’ she was forced to admit.

‘I’ll need your help to circle him with it. Think you can do that, curiouscat?’

‘Of course,’ she huffed.

‘Good,’ he said in an amused voice, followed by strong and sharp directions which she chose to obey rather than question.

She could always bicker with him more later—after her levels went up.

Like he told her, she planted herself on the opposite side of the room, holding one side of the rope while he held onto the other. They both started running just as the beast was set to attack, and in no time the rope started to coil itself around it.

Although a typical rope would have been useless, as seen by the way the beast broke free not a few moments after, the traces of affected it, making it fall to its knees. Letting out a loud howl, it started writhing in pain before dying.

Right away, one hundred levels arose from its ashes, fifty going to her and fifty to Blue.

‘I’ll set mine aside for the others.’

‘Ok,’ she agreed, ready to split hers with him.

Suddenly, though, he rejected the transfer.

‘No. Those are all yours. You earned them.’

But that was all he said. And Noelle had never been more confused.