"So, gist me. How did it go?" Lucy and Folarin were having a soak in the bathtub in their suite at the Red Tulip. Lucy had just returned from a trip to South Africa, where she'd shot a commercial for a new alcohol brand she recently got signed to as an ambassador. Folarin had returned from Akure about five days before, but she was still in SA. Lucy loved staycations and they hadn't had a chance to see each other before she left so Folarin booked the room at the five-star boutique hotel in Ikoyi so they could celebrate her deal.
"Well, my mom is fine. She's doing good."
"Thank God o! Everytime I called, you sounded so worried. I was super relieved when I got your voice note that she was awake and better."
"Yeah. She scared us for a while there." Folarin said, recalling. Then he changed the topic. "Annie is sorted, like I told you."
"Even if you didn't tell me, it's everywhere.", she laughed wickedly. "Fucking epic."
"Yep. I don't think she's going to be causing any more problems."
"Good.", she said, taking a sip from her champagne glass. "And Chuka?"
Folarin let out an exasperated sigh. "What about Chuka?"
Lucy laughed. "I'm just asking in general nau. How is he? Where is he?"
"He's good. Travelled to Spain." He paused, then added derisively. "With that Leo character."
"Oh." Lucy said, a smile in her voice. "Someone sounds jealous."
"Jealous that what?" Folarin said, glaring down at her head.
"Now the question is,", she said, ignoring him. "Friend jealous or the other kind of jealous."
"What other kind?"
She sat up. "Wait, isn't Leo like, obsessed with Chuka?", she asked, suddenly realizing how much more interesting this was.
Folarin scoffed. "'Obsessed' is an understatement. The guy doesn't quit."
Lucys laughter bounced off the walls, clearly enjoying this far more than she should be.
"I'm glad you're so tickled by this. If Chuka was a girl, it would be considered assault at this point. The guy is relentless."
Lucy laughed even harder. "Is it your assault? Did Chuka complain to you?"
"That's another thing. Chuka is never firm with him. He'll just be laughing it off and telling him the 'no' small small. Like he's an egg he doesn't want to break. Oga, open eye for the guy so he'll stop this nonsense."
"Why is it nonsense?", Lucy asked. "Because he's flirting with Chuka or because HE's flirting with Chuka. When it should be you?"
"Not this shit again." Folarin groaned.
"Oh please. Don't tell me you haven't given it any thought. Especially after that epic love declaration." Lucy squealed as she remembered that night.
"From what I remember, it was my own love he helped me to declare." Folarin grumbled, not finding it as amusing.
Lucy squealed again.
Folarin was tempted to bite her.
Then she threw her head back against his chest and looked up at him. "But you do, don't you? You love him."
He looked down at her. "Of course, I love him."
Lucy was taken aback. She hadn't been expecting such an easy admission.
"I'm not going to add 'like a brother' because you already know that's what I mean."
"Urgh! Not this 'brother' shit.", Lucy rolled her eyes.
Folarin sipped from his champagne flute, feeling triumphant.
"I can just imagine it.", she said. Folarin sighed. So much for triumphant. "They sign the contract, then they go out to celebrate.", she continued. "They end up staying out late and getting a little wasted. Then they get back to their hotel room."
"Room? Singular?" Folarin interrupted. "Why would they be sharing a room?"
"Okay fine, Leo helps Chuka to his own room first." She says with an eye roll. "Leo finally sees his opportunity." Folarin shifted uncomfortably as he listened. "They're both drunk so they can blame it on the alcohol in the morning." Lucy lowered her voice, so it was slower and more sexual. "Chuka sits on the bed. And then Leo gets on his knees." Lucy noticed a change in Folarin's breathing and knew he was either horny or getting really upset. She had a gut feeling it was the latter. Good. "He undoes Chuka's belt,", she continued. "he pulls down his zipper. His mouth starts to water. He's been wanting this for so long. Then he reaches in and grabs his â"
Lucy was interrupted by Folarin abruptly standing up and getting out of the tub. He took one of the towels off the rack and started to wipe himself off with it as he walked out of the bathroom.
"Oh my God!" Lucy called after him, laughing. "Are you angry?", she said as she stepped out of the tub and followed.
"Fo'", she said in a sweet voice, touching his shoulder in an attempt to calm him.
Folarin spun around to face her, tying the towel around his waist. "Fine. You win. I'm jealous.", he said. "Are you happy?"
"Oh."
"Do you think he likes that guy?" Folarin fumed, pacing back and forth. "Is that why he's always so soft with his rejection? I mean why did he need to go with Chuka to Spain? Is he the one signing the contract? What's his own inside?"
"Na im bring deal nau." Lucy said, trying to keep up with him. "He probably gets a cut, so he's invested in the outcome."
"So, why didn't Chuka ask me to join them? In all our waka, we never reach Spain before."
"He knows the two of you don't like each other. What's the point of putting you two in the same space?"
He looked at Lucy. "Why are you defending him?"
Lucy laughed. "Okay look, as much as I'm glad you're finally realizing your feelings for him, you also have to â "
"Wait wait, what feelings?"
She gave him a dry stare. "What else is jealousy supposed to mean?"
Folarin kissed his teeth. "It's not like that jare. I'm just...I just..." He paused. "I don't want him to replace me. Okay?" He started pacing again. "And a guy is far more likely to pull that off than a babe is."
"Oh, don't underestimate women." Lucy said. "Your friendship is not safe from us either. A woman can replace you in Chuka's life just as easily as another man can."
Folarin glared at her. "Thanks. I feel so much better.", he said dryly.
Lucy chuckled. "Okay, but real talk though.", she said, sitting on the edge of the bed and pulling him by the elbow to sit beside her. "What's really the worst that could happen?"
Folarin looked at her, a question on his face.
"A relationship. Between you two.", she said. "I mean you clearly love each other; it might not be romantic love but it's practical, it's real and it's effortless, which is far more solid. You two have lived together before and didn't kill each other. Your mom is actually crazy about him." Folarin's mind momentarily flashed back to the conversation with his mother, before he waved off the intrusive thought. "All the bloody stars are aligned. I really don't see why it wouldn't work. He's clearly open to it."
Folarin raised a brow. "How so?"
"Uh...he said he would be with you."
Folarin side-eyed her. "If we were gay. We're not."
"These goddamn labels again."
"Labels are important abeg. It's how we know what is inside the can."
Lucy paused. "And here I was thinking humans were a bit more complex than inanimate objects. My bad."
Folarin kissed his teeth, turning away, in an attempt to change the conversation.
"Wait, first.", he said, turning back to her. "This thing you're pushing, I hope you know it means we would have to be over." He paused and stared at her. "I might not have ever been in a relationship, but I know I wouldn't be the type to cheat. Which is the reason I don't do relationships."
She reached up and took his face in her hands. "I've had some of the best sex of my life with you. It's insanely good."
Folarin smiled arrogantly at the remark.
"But sexual chemistry doesn't hold a candle to real love. And if I feel like there's a chance for you to feel that, I'm okay stepping back. I would gladly let you go if love is what I'm losing you to.
Folarin rolled his eyes and picked up his phone.
Lucy took it from him and put it aside, then took his chin in her hand and made him look at her. "Folarin, it feels really fucking amazing; I'm serious.", she said earnestly. "It's like you're losing your mind, and you can't breathe, and your heart is about to explode and your skin is on fire and yet you love all of it. You love feeling like that. Every time, the person walks in a room, or you even so much as smell their perfume, your heart feels like it's going to pound out of your chest! And then they look at you and it's like air is leaving your lungs and there's no space for it to come back in. You can't fucking breathe but you feel like you'd gladly give up oxygen if it meant you could keep feeling this; have that person look at you like that, touch you like that. And then your stomach does this thing like butterflies are dancing inside. Makes you feel queasy as fuck but urgh! It's magic, I swear."
Folarin stared at her. "That sounds terrible.", he said. "Are you whining me? Everything you just described sounds like symptoms of horrible, horrible diseases.
Lucy laughed. "I know. That's the irony of it. It's a disease that makes you feel alive; more alive than you ever felt 'healthy'."
"Very poetic", Folarin said, sarcastically. "But, it's a hard pass on the asthma, IBS and heart disease."
Lucy dissolved into a fit of giggles. "What is wrong with you?"
"No, I'm okay for now." He said, raising a hand up in a gesture that said 'none-for-me-thanks'.
Lucy laughed harder. "Oooh, be serious nau. He's technically still a married man but you need to be waiting to scoop him up after the divorce.", she said. "Best believe Leo is coming in guns blazing."
He gave her a look about the Leo comment. "They've signed the papers actually.", he said casually.
Lisa had been evading the whole thing but shortly after they got back, Chuka had tracked her down and sat with her until she signed it. Divorces in Nigeria take two years to complete so the sooner, the better. Chuka wanted to really move on with his life.
"Really? So, he's truly truly free now?" Lucy asked.
"Kind of."
"So? What is stopping you?'
"For one thing, he's the exact opposite of everything I'm attracted to. How would we have sex?"
Lucy shrugged. "You can ease into it but really, you don't have to. There are lots of non-penetrative gay couples."
"Urgh! What is sex without sticking your dick in something?"
Lucy looked at him with exaggerated softness. "So profound." She dabbed at non-existent tears. "So romantic."
"Na you dey find romance where e no dey."
"Look, I'm sure you guys can come up with some arrangement. It's sex, not rocket science. What else?"
"Well, there's the fact that it could end badly. Really badly." Folarin said. "And then I lose my best friend because we tried to chase something that doesn't exist."
"Or it does exist, and you make each other deliriously happy."
Folarin made a face like he'd smelled something nasty. "Why do you say these things?"
Lucy laughed.
"Then there's feelings and stuff.", he continued.
"What about feelings?" Lucy asked.
"I've seen what love gone bad can do to a person.", He paused. "My mother almost didn't survive what my father did to her. If it weren't for me; if it wasn't because she had to live for me, she wouldn't have. I don't want to love anybody like that abeg." He paused. "And there has to be something extra messed up about letting your fellow man break your heart."
Lucy shook her head. "You and this your toxic masculinity."
"And Chuka specifically?", he continued. "It would really fuck me up. He has the power to seriously fuck me up."
"Aww..", Lucy drew closer and hugged him. She pulled away and looked at him. He had a brow raised at her. "There's always that risk. But it's a risk worth taking, I'm telling you. And you and Chuka's odds are much better than most couples' to be honest."
He paused, thinking. "He also wants kids."
"Okay? And?"
"For one thing, I'm not sure I do. I don't really like any of the children I've met so far." Lucy laughed. "But let's say for the sake of argument, I do, how are two men supposed to have children?"
It was Lucy's turn to cock her eyebrow. "Are you joking? How do infertile straight couples do it?"
Folarin said nothing.
"You live in the 21st Century, my love. That is not even a little bit of a problem."
"You just have all the answers, don't you." Folarin said, tersely.
"Yes, I do.", she said. "And if y'all decide to go the surrogate route, I've got you on the first one."
Folarin raised an eyebrow.
"I'm not sure I want kids, but I want to carry." She said, with a shrug. "More like I need to. I hear it reduces your risks of ovarian cancer later on if your ovaries have actually carried something in them."
"Oh." Folarin said, simply. "Interesting."
He looked at her, studying her for a long time. "But wait first, why are you so convinced we wouldn't work?", he said, reaching for her and pulling her into his lap. "Shouldn't we at least try?"
She looked at him and sighed. "Folarin, I'm a 30-year-old woman who's still in love with a teenage boy.", she said, the hurt and sadness in her voice, palpable. "A dead teenage boy. That should tell you something. It's been 11 years, and I haven't forgotten. I haven't let him go. And honestly, I don't want to." She paused. "You don't deserve that. I can't do that to you."
And so, Folarin pulled her closer and kissed her on the forehead, resolving to never bring it up again.