Chapter 23: CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

I

n his rearview mirror, Chuka saw Folarin branch off and head towards their estate instead. Where is he going?

Chuka made a U-Turn and went after him.

"Ah ah." Manda exclaimed. "What's happening?"

"I just need to make a quick stop." Chuka said. "It won't take time, don't worry."

Chuka pulled into Folarin's compound and parked beside him. He looked into Folarin's car and questioned Lucy with a look. She shrugged an 'I don't know' in response.

He caught Folarin at the door to his apartment.

"Wetin happen?", he asked Chuka as he unlocked his door.

"I should be asking you that, oga." Chuka replied. "What's the problem?"

"Guy, dey go first. We go join up later. I just wan pick something." Folarin said, stepping inside.

Chuka followed. "Pick what?"

"Oga, go na. Babe dey wait you. What is this - the second date? Aren't you ready to propose?"

Chuka laughed.

Folarin didn't.

He loosened his tie as he spoke. "I just think it's funny how you always have to have someone. If it's not some upcoming, it's you letting some guy fall all over you."

"What the fuck are you talking about?", Chuka asked, equal parts confused and amused.

"Did something happen in Spain?", Folarin said, finally blurting out the question that had been nagging at him for days.

"What do you mean 'did something happen in Spain'?"

"I mean 'did something happen in Spain?' What is unclear about the question?"

"Several things happened in Spain. I'm not sure what you're talking about."

Folarin raised an eyebrow.

"You mean with Leo?", he asked incredulously. "Something like what?"

"I don't know; that's why I'm asking you."

"Of course not. I tell you say him with that man dey nack na. He was with him the whole time."

Folarin paused, allowing the sex tapes he'd been playing in his head erase themselves. "Oh."

"Is that what all this was about? Manda and Leo?"

Folarin said nothing.

"I'm sorry but this kind of sounds like jealousy." Chuka said, laughing. "What the fuck? You don't do jealousy."

"I don't know. That shit kind of messed with my head."

"What shit?"

"The 'it-would've-been-you' shit at game night. Now I'm thinking you might be lowkey feeling Leo cause you're lowkey into guys."

"What?" Chuka exclaimed. "I was speaking hypothetically. I'm not gay."

"I know.", Folarin retorted.

"Okaaay... so what is this really about?", Chuka enquired, doing a mental head scratch.

"It's not about anything, guy. I came to my apartment, and you followed me here."

"Because we were supposed to be going to a party."

"And I said I'll come later." Folarin opened the fridge just off the living room, and took out a bottle of water to drink.

"And you've had an attitude all night.", Chuka said, as he took the bottle from Folarin and chugged the rest of the water.

Silence.

"Fo...", Chuka trailed off.

"Come, dem use relationship do you?"

"Are we still on this?"

"This thing with Manda is not casual and you know it. You don't do casual."

Chuka paused. "Yeah, I'm getting to know her.", he said, rubbing the back of his head.

"Urgh!"

"What??"

"It's annoying, guy." Folarin said, turning and walking a few paces before spinning back around to look at Chuka. "You have shitty taste in women and then you get your feelings hurt and I have to help you pick up the pieces. Chuka rest."

"Okay...relax.", Chuka said, putting his hands out in a defensive stance. "It's not this deep."

"It is, though." Folarin's mind flashed back to Lucy's words. How much more heartache do you think he can take...?

Folarin started to pace again then stopped to face Chuka. "Fine.", he said, looking everywhere but at him, trying to find the words to say what he was about to. "If you need a relationship so bad, I'll do it.", he mumbled.

Chuka blinked twice. "What?"

"I'll do it." Folarin repeated, louder this time.

"Do what?"

"The relationship thing. Since you absolutely MUST have someone 24-7/365, I'll be your...partner. Or whatever."

Chuka stared at him for a long time, then burst into laughter. Folarin didn't. "Folarin, why are you not laughing?"

"Because I'm not joking.", Folarin said, straight-faced.

Chuka stepped forward and sniffed the air around Folarin. "Are you high?"

"No, I'm not.", Folarin said. "What I am is sick of watching you self-destruct."

Chuka scoffed, the smile slipping slowly from his face. "So, you're doing this for me.", he said more than asked.

"Yes."

"Yeah, thanks. Don't do me any favours." He turned and started to walk in the opposite direction, feeling insulted.

"I'm not tr– " Folarin paused, cutting himself off. Chuka stopped walking and turned around to face him. A few seconds passed as Folarin struggled to find the least ridiculous way to say what he needed to. "Maybe it'll be good for me too."

"What will?", Chuka asked, his brow raised in amusement.

"This." Folarin said, waving his hand back and forth between them. "All that shit you were saying that day. I want to try."

"Being boyfriends?"

Folarin shut his eyes and let out a long-suffering sigh. "Yes. Being bo- . You fucking know what I'm talking about."

"And how exactly is that supposed to work?" Chuka asked, still not quite believing what he was hearing.

"Why wouldn't it?"

"For one thing, we're not gay."

Folarin shrugged. "How hard can it be?"

Chuka laughed through his nose. "I'm not sure that's how sexuality works, Folarin."

"That's the thing. This is not about sex or attraction. It's just what makes sense; for companionship."

"And therefore, you want to be my boyfriend.", Chuka said rather than asked.

Folarin glared at him.

Chuka laughed again - for several moments – and then it slowly faded to a serious expression as he studied his best friend. "OK, what the fuck?"

Folarin questioned with a look.

"Where is this coming from?", Chuka asked, leaning against the back of the couch behind him. "Real talk, Folarin.", he added.

Folarin paused, once again searching for the correct words. They came out in staccato attempts at full sentences. "When we had to go to Akure... all the stuff you did...from keeping me calm to... to making sure that... Then when we...when you...err...the spooning ...at the hotel."

Chuka's eyes widened. "Shit, you knew?" He palmed his face. "I don't know how or when that happened, I swear." Chuka exclaimed, his tone both contrite and defensive.

"Shut up first." Folarin retorted.

"Sorry."

"The way it...I dunno, it kind of felt..." Folarin paused and let out a deep breath. "God, this is so fucking embarrassing. Fine, I liked it. It felt good. It wouldn't be the worst thing to come home to that.", he jammed all the sentences together with no separation, hoping they would somehow be more difficult to pick out individually.

Chuka nodded. "I don't disagree." He said, folding his arms across his chest. "It's important to come home to a warm embrace. Which is why you get a girlfriend. Or a wife."

Folarin rolled his eyes. How did Chuka expect him to explain that somehow it wasn't the same? He didn't understand it himself; how could he expect Chuka to? He replied with an unenthusiastic "Maybe."

"I mean you've obviously done that before.", Chuka continued. "That couldn't have been your first time cuddling."

Silence.

"Jesus Christ, Folarin." Chuka exclaimed, throwing his hands up and letting them fall back down.

"Shut up, abeg." Folarin said, defensively.

"Not even Lucy?", Chuka pressed. Lucy was the only girl Folarin slept with more than once. So, it was more than a little surprising for Chuka to learn they'd never had that kind of intimacy.

Folarin's mind flashed back to the time he had tried with her. After sex at the hotel, he had snuggled up and wrapped his arms around her, but she'd pulled away after a few awkward minutes. Too intimate, she'd said. Which was ironic because he had felt absolutely no intimacy. Nothing like that day.

He shrugged in response to Chuka's question.

Chuka shook his head. "How do you have such empty sex, guy? It still baffles me."

Folarin rolled his eyes.

A silence hung in the air for a few seconds before Chuka broke it. "How did it feel?"

"What?"

"The thing you felt - when we spooned. What was it?"

Folarin paused. "None of your business."

"Wow. So, I made you feel something but it's none of my business what it was?"

"Exactly."

Chuka chuckled, shaking his head. In the long pause that followed, he began pacing.

"This is insane.", he said, finally. "What you're proposing. We can acknowledge that it's fucking insane, right?"

"It is." Folarin said, manner-of-factly.

"I mean, how would it even work?"

"In what sense?"

"In every sense! First off, how would we explain it?"

Folarin scoffed. "Do you know me to be a person who feels the need to explain myself to anyone?"

"I mean, come on. After all this drama with Annie? We now come out and say 'oh wait, we're really together'? Guy, it would be a shitstorm of biblical proportions!

"So, we hold off on the telling people part for now and come up with a strategy for how to do it later. What else?"

Chuka rubbed the back of his neck, where a tension knot was starting to form. "I don't think it's going to be that simple but fine. What about kids?"

Folarin shrugged, "What about them?"

"Folarin, I want them. I've always wanted kids; you know that."

"Okay. And?", Folarin said, channeling Lucy's insouciance from when they'd talked about it.

"How are two men supposed to make and raise a family?"

"The same way infertile straight couples do." Folarin replied, quoting her verbatim, adopting the same pragmatic tone. "Adoption. Egg Donation. Surrogacy."

Chuka paused then gave Folarin a suspicious look. "Wait, how much fucking time have you spent thinking about this?"

Folarin shrugged.

"Okay fine, there's that. But – and don't get me wrong, you know I'm not homophobic – but come on, nau. Balance is important. Children need a mother."

Folarin scoffed. "And who is more motherly than you?"

"Fuck off.", Chuka said, laughing.

"Yeah, the surrogate can be a part of their lives to fill the gaps we can't. At least at the start." Folarin said. "We could even try someone we know." He didn't mention yet that Lucy had already offered her uterus.

Chuka was silent for several minutes, pacing and pondering, turning the whole thing over in his mind.

He stopped and faced Folarin again. "So, you want us to be together."

"For fuck's sake!" Folarin exclaimed.

"I'm still wrapping my head around it!" Chuka yelled, without heat.

"I think we should try it. Okay?" Folarin yelled back. "Because I don't want to lose my best friend and I -?"

"Lose me? What are you talking ab- "

"Let me finish." Folarin interrupted. "I don't want to lose the Chuka that laughs. All the fucking time - at me, for me, with me; the Chuka that sees the good in everyone even when they're absolute fucksticks; the one that doesn't know how to hate even after he's been hurt. I don't want me or anyone else that has you in their life, to lose that Chuka. And if you keep getting yourself hurt and deceived and stabbed in the back, sooner or later it will fucking change you!"

Chuka felt his chest tighten. "Fo...", he said softly.

Folarin put his hand up.

"Sorry."

Folarin paused then continued. "There's that and there's also the fact that... that...

"That...". Chuka said, urging him on.

Folarin sighed. "You love me too.", he mumbled under his breath.

"What was that?" Chuka asked, leaning forward.

Folarin huffed. "You love me too!", he said louder, glaring at Chuka.

Chuka rolled his eyes and gave him a "really?" look.

"Yes, really." Folarin said, replying the look with words. "I will never be as sure of anyone's intentions. I will never be able to vouch for someone like I can vouch for you. You -" Folarin cut himself off. He looked off to the side for a few seconds then back at Chuka. "You give a fuck. About me. I can say it with my chest. How many people will I be that sure about?"

Folarin paused, hesitating.

"Go on.", Chuka said.

"Okay you know me I don't rate marriage. People say these vows, promising heaven and earth; vows they don't mean. Or even understand. Vows they just say because it's the next item on the programme and the priest said, "repeat after me." It's why I rarely attend the church part of weddings. It's all bullshit."

Chuka shook his head and smiled slightly.

"But I was watching the video of Boye's wedding last week and I was busy going over ways I would have stop myself from laughing my ass off if I ever got to the point where a woman was standing in front of me saying those empty words."

Chuka nodded. "Yep! I definitely see you laughing at your own wedding."

"But then you suddenly crossed my mind, and it didn't seem all that funny again."

"Is this a proposal now?" Chuka raised an eyebrow.

"Bruh, I'm not even joking." Folarin said, seriously. "I realized I could actually say those vows to myself on your behalf. With my full chest. Because, no cap, even if I'm having the worst fucking luck in the world – maybe village people nack me with one kine sickness or money no dey my hand again; no matter the kind of Kafkaesque fever dream my life becomes, I will open my eyes and I will see you beside me." He looked at Chuka. "Every time, bruh. Even if I tell you clearly to fuck off, you won't. You will never leave." He paused. "I know it like I know my skin is brown."

Chuka let out a shaky breath as the depth of Folarin's words washed over him. Folarin was not a person who ever spoke in absolutes. About anything.

"I will never have that with anyone else. If I hear say I allow anybody use my head like my popsy do momsy." Folarin said, with feeling. "Nobody is getting through those damn walls. I know as I take build am."

"You don't know that." Chuka said. "I got through."

"I wasn't checking for you, ode. We're both men. This was never supposed to be a thing."

"But now it is?"

Folarin paused, then shrugged. "If we decide it is."

Chuka said nothing for a few moments. Finally, he said, "Look, I get everything you said. It all makes sense... on paper. Because how the hell would this not be awkward in real life?"

"Awkward that what? We're just two people deciding to live our lives together. It's not like we'll be fucking or even kissing."

"No kissing? What kind of miserable existence do you want to sentence me to?" Chuka joked.

Folarin raised an eyebrow. "Kissing is your problem? What about everything else?"

"Well, I know either way your prick no go stay one place, so you'll always have one kele on the side and I would be good with that."

"And what about you? Because having a girl on the side would be out of the question for you."

"Ah ah! Why?"

"Because you don't know how to just fuck, Chuka. You make love." Folarin made a face. "And then you'll fall in that love and we're back to square one."

Chuka laughed. "My case no bad like that abeg."

Folarin gave him a look.

"Fine, then I'll learn. But in the meantime, I know how to take care of myself, don't worry."

Folarin's mind flashed to Chuka's favourite massage parlour with the tantric massages. Right. There's that. Folarin had tried it once. Chuka had warned him it was more than just a happy ending massage and it might not be his thing. And Chuka had been right. It was way too deep and slow and sensual. Folarin just wanted to get off. But trust Chuka to want to feel all the feelings in the world before -

"We have to kiss.", Chuka said suddenly, snapping Folarin out of his thoughts.

"What?"

"You and I will kiss, Folarin. To be sure there aren't any underlying romantic or sexual feelings that would complicate things."

"And we must kiss to know that?" Folarin asked, brow raised.

"Yes, or it would keep hanging subconsciously in the air between us." Chuka said. "But we agree beforehand - no awkwardness, no weird silence, no tension. If there's nothing, we just laugh afterwards. Doesn't have to be a whole thing."

Folarin ran a hand from his forehead to the back of his head and rubbed his neck. He looked at Chuka. "So, if we feel nothing?"

Chuka shrugged, "We proceed."

"And if there's something?"

"I think we would have bigger fish to fry then. If we're two straight guys who are suddenly feeling things for the same sex, we might be too busy worrying about that first to even think about anything else."

"True." Folarin nodded. But then, he remembered that strange knot in his throat from that time they fell, and it worried him. "What about if only one of us feels something?"

"Ah." Chuka paused. "That one go hard small." He didn't even want to think what unrequited feelings would do to their friendship.

"So, isn't blissful ignorance better?"

"Nah. I think it's still better to know for sure. Unidentified negative emotions can be just as dangerous as obvious ones."

Folarin questioned with a look.

"For instance, one of us could be with someone and jealousy we don't even know is jealousy could creep in and destroy everything – even the friendship."

Folarin felt a quick flash of déjà vu. Different kind of jealousy from back then about the endorsements, but just as dangerous. Chuka's concerns were just as valid as his had been.

After a couple of seconds he said, "So we kiss."

"We kiss." Chuka repeated. He took a deep breath and then he stepped forward.

"Wait.. now?"

"Are we supposed to schedule it?", Chuka said, dryly.

Folarin hesitated. "Just one."

"One is enough."

Folarin stood straighter as he watched Chuka get closer and closer to him. Shit. This is happening. "What kind of kiss, though?" he blurted out.

Chuka was inches away now.

"One short peck suppose do." Folarin continued.

"Short peck no go tell us anything. If we're going to do it, then we have to do it." He paused. "Are you ready?"

Folarin said nothing.

Chuka kissed his teeth. "Oga, I hope you know we have a party to get to."

"Okay, fine." Folarin said, lurching forward and grabbing Chuka by the collar of his bedazzled tux.

He hesitated a few seconds... and then he pulled Chuka forward and he planted his lips on his.

It was a wild, sloppy kiss; all teeth and gums and disorganized tongue movements. Inwardly, Folarin applauded his genius. His plan was to make this kiss as unpleasant as possible. To irritate Chuka, disgust him, freak them both the fuck out so there wouldn't be anything to detect.

But Chuka saw right through it. He smiled slightly against Folarin's lips then pulled back. He shook his head at him. "Stop trying to rig this kiss, Folarin. We need the real results."

Folarin deadpanned. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I've seen you kiss, ode." Chuka said. Then he leaned forward again.

"Hey, hey. We said one." Folarin protested, leaning back.

"Doesn't count. You cheated.", Chuka said. And then he reached up to take Folarin's hand off his collar, brought it back down to his side and then interlaced their fingers together.

"What the – " A shocked Folarin said, cutting himself off as he looked down at their intertwined hands, incredulously.

With his right hand, Chuka took the side of Folarin's face, forcing his eyes to look back up from their hands and lock with Chuka's.

Folarin let out a nervous breath. His plan had failed. He could only hope that Chuka was a naturally bad kisser.

Chuka's eyes met Folarin's lips before his lips connected with them.

And much to Folarin's annoyance, the kiss was fucking perfect.

It was soft yet firm. Tentative yet confident. Strange yet oddly familiar.

Chuka walked them back a few paces until Folarin's back hit the wall behind them. And then Chuka deepened the kiss. Realizing he had lost, Folarin let out a frustrated grunt and then kissed back with equal fervour, refusing to just passively let himself be kissed like a woman. A few seconds in, Folarin untangled their fingers and pushed off the wall, wresting control from Chuka and taking the lead. It was a back-and-forth fight for dominance, each one trying to prove they were the superior kisser. Somehow, Folarin had expected that the kiss would be...hard? I mean, this was a man's lips. They shouldn't be soft, but they were. The hair on his upper lip should have been a problem but it wasn't. It should have felt weird feeling another man's strong hands on his face and back. And yet it didn't. It was different from kissing a woman yet somehow the same. Folarin assessed himself. So far so good. No fluffy feelings. No knot. And his dick wasn't hard. He wasn't recoiling in disgust, but there were no strange new feelings either. Good.

The kiss broke.

Both men looked each other in the eye. They were quiet for a few seconds, then they broke out into laughter.

"You sabi kiss sha but never again." Folarin said, with mirth as he wiped his mouth.

Chuka laughed. "I agree.", he said, wiping his too as he stepped back.

"So, we're on the same page?" Folarin asked, straightening up.

"Bro, I gave you my best moves. So, if neither of us felt anything then we're good."

Folarin chuckled. "Cool cool.", he nodded.

"So, we're ...", Chuka said, trailing off.

"Yeah. If you still want to try."

Chuka laughed. "It's still a stupid fucking idea but yeah, what the hell." Chuka pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked at it. "But we should probably show face at this party."

Folarin checked his too. "Ah, shit!" He looked back up at Chuka. "Lucy took my car. And your Manda girl is with her. Said they're waiting for us there."

Chuka chuckled. "We waste time small sha.", he said putting himself together. "Oya na, let's go."

"Wetin be 'Manda' sef?" Folarin said, as he straightened himself up in the foyer mirror. "It's either Amanda or Mandy. Which one be 'Manda'?

Chuka laughed. "Guy, free this babe.", he said as he opened the front door and closed it behind them. "You just dey enter am since..."