Alec
Closing the door of the storage room behind me and leaning back on its cool surface. Among the shelves and supplies filling the small space I am reduced to fanning myself using the patient's chart. The need to grab flea medication for my current patient, an elderly border collie named Pigeon, was real, but the need to duck away and cool down even more so. I can't keep going like this.
Somewhere between the gentle moments saying goodnight to Christopher and this morning, my body has been going on a rampage. It's been all morning and I can still feel the touch of his fingers, how warm his body was pressed against mine, the flavor of his-
Down boy! I can't keep this up, it's dangerous too. Earlier one of my patients, Hennifer Lawrence, caught me daydreaming and pecked a chunk out of the back of my hand. I'm not some homrone-raging teenager for crying out loud, I shouldn't be distracted this much by a...man.
Holy shit. I'm dating a man.
No, no, no. Not dating just yet. It's like a subscription, I can cancel anytime.
At the very most it's an attempt at dating. Maybe a date or two, nothing this serious. Since I can't seem to get Christopher out of my head, I feel like I need to see these crazy feelings through.
Grabbing the medication I need, I finish up with the patient. Dee follows them to the door, waving them off before flipping over the sign to CLOSED.
"Lunchtime." Dee says, walking back and pulling a cooler out from under the desk. "I'm gonna go heat these up, then do you want to eat in your office?"
I've come to accept that Dee is going to bring way too much food to the office and make me eat until I'm stuffed. I fought with her at first but she has this way of staring me down with a smile that I can't win against. It reminds me a little of when I first met Jae's eomma.
"Sounds good, thank you." Dee is already disappearing down the hallway, not waiting for a response. The break room designed by the previous vet is tiny, just enough room for a sink, small fridge and microwave. Some shelves hold a few mugs and dishes. The coffee maker is left out in the lobby, on a small table for clients to help themselves while they wait.
Once I hear bustling sounds and the microwave starts up, I make my way over to the large windows, craning my neck this way and that. The parking lot only holds two cars, Dee's and mine, while the dirt road leading to the clinic remains empty and silent.
Christopher had texted me this morning, a "Good morning! ððð¥°ðð" Nothing to indicate he was going to just show up like he used to do, but still...
"Lunch is ready in there." Spinning around, I watch nervously as Dee grabs her purse out from behind the desk. Shit! Did she catch me looking for Christopher?
The smirk on her lips as she heads towards the door answers that unspoken question. As she reaches for the handle, something that's been nagging at me pops up. "Dee, if you're not going to eat with me, why are you feeding me? Am I just a stray dog to you?"
"A stray?" She pauses. "I wouldn't say that. But I do know someone that would like to take you home and feed you himself." And with that she was out the door.
Distantly, I hear her car start and fade away. I have to bring my hands to my face to hold it in place while it burns. Two days ago, her comments wouldn't affect me this much, but now I can't claim to be uninvolved in this 'adoption'.
I straighten my shoulders and shake out my head, neck and arms. Once some of my embarrassment is gone, I head to my office and settle at the desk in front of a feast of food. How does one woman make all this food every day? And it's all delicious!
While eating, my thoughts keep circling around Christopher. How am I supposed to act when I see him next, like myself? I can do that. No big deal. I'll just act like normal.
Flashes of how I have normally acted around the big ox stop me mid bite.
No! I can't act like that. Tightening my grip on my fork, I tighten my resolve. I have to be nicer!
Re-living the times I was rude and mean so far, it's like a miracle that Christopher still likes me. I can easily drop the rudeness, I'm not trying to push him away anymore. But nice? I've failed in the past to differentiate being a nice person and being...nice in a relationship.
Do I have to be extra nice to make up for how mean I've been? Extra nice... Yesterday seemed extra nice. Christopher's body pressed against me, the warmth of his lips, his hands-
No! I can't be extra nice.
Faintly, I hear the bell over the front door of the clinic chime. "Alec? Are you in here?" It's Christopher!
"Oh, um, uh, yeah. Yes, I'm back here." Dropping my fork, I bolt up. He's here! Dashing over to the small mirror I keep by my office door, I check over my appearance, smoothing a hand over my hair. Catching my eyes in the glass, I pause. What the hell am I doing?
It's too late, Christopher is there in the doorway. My office suddenly shrinks behind me, making Christopher feel way too close. I step back a few paces as he enters the room.
"Alec!" He moves closer, a wide smile on his beautiful face. Quickly, I take a few more steps back and try to look like I'm breathing normally.
"Um, hi."
Christopher stops moving closer but his smile never falters. His eyes quickly skim over all of me, tightening my breathing until he meets my eyes again.
"Uh, what are you doing here?" The words come out sounding harsher than I intended. My newly found resolve to be nicer twinges at me. Trying to remember what a normal tone of voice is I try again. "I mean, what brings you here?"
Is it my imagination or did he smile even wider?
"I was heading home from class and saw Dee's car leaving. I thought you might be having lunch so I stopped in to see you for a bit." Hearing Christopher's sincerity, a little pool of warmth enters my chest. My body loses its tenseness, I breathe easier.
"Yeah, I was just eating...lunch..." Something about seeing Christopher here, smiling at me next to all this food reminded me of the day Christopher brought me lunch and made clear to me his feelings. Plus, what Dee just said earlier, it started clicking into place. "Wait a minute! Are YOU responsible for why Dee brings me a mountain of food every day?"
Christopher smiles definitely looks more forced and his eyes dart away.
"And Dee always checks on me, too! Fussing over me to see if I have a headache or am too tired or if I slept well. She's been feeding you information!" I gasp, "That's why you got her a job here!"
Taking a large stride, Christopher moves directly in front of me. Reaching out he places his hands on my shoulders. My stomach is already starting to churn with the lunch of betrayal I've already eaten.
"Alec," Christopher lowers his head to my eye level, forcing me to look at him. "Alec, before your very clever brain starts rolling away with that idea, I will admit to everything." His earnest eyes looking right into mine takes the wind out of my sails before I could even get going.
"Admit- admit to everything? So, I'm right?" Disappointment laces my voice.
"Yes," Christopher sighs. "And no."
His hands gently put pressure on my shoulders and my feet follow as I'm guided to one of the chairs in front of my desk. "Alec, please sit down and give me two minutes."
His calm, focused voice is like a trance over me. For a split second, I want to forgive him everything. Also, the flashes of our previous interactions sting through my mind. I sit down and Christopher crouches in front of me, keeping our faces level.
"Thank you." Christopher squeezes my shoulders once before removing his hands. He lets out another sigh and visibly composes himself. "I want to make it clear, before you judge Dee harshly, that she would never 'feed' me information about you. Unless it would concern your safety."
I feel my brows come together as I mull over that last part, but Christopher continues. "But, yes, Dee brought you lunch at my request, only because I went out of town. She enjoys doing it thought because she likes you and wants you to eat instead of working yourself sick. I only brought Dee here in the first place to meet with you about work because- wait, let me ask you something."
I nod.
"Do you accept help easily?"
I had to hold back a snort, the answer ridiculously obvious.
"I know you don't need my help, Alec. You have a career, your own clinic, income and home. You are so smart and have skills beyond belief. And you have taken care of yourself for a long time. You don't need my help."
Christopher's words humble me. I hadn't known he thought all that about me. I thought he just thought I was, you know, cute. Christopher is still sitting there, looking into my eyes. I nod for him to go on.
"Plus, you seemed not to like me at first and didn't want anything to do with me." I nod in agreement. Christopher laughs a little before smiling gently at me again.
"I want to become someone special to you, that you want around. I also want to earn the position of someone you lean on when you need to. I saw that you needed someone to work at the clinic and all I thought of was finding someone you needed. I want to care for you and make you happy. So, if I get an opportunity to get closer to you, I will be very honest with you. I'm going to take every opportunity I get that brings me to you."
I can't look at his steady gaze any more. Looking away, I can feel wetness building in my eyes and quickly blink it away. He really takes things to an intense level, fast. I don't want to look at him until I'm sure I don't look like I'm about to cry. Because I'm not, it just looks that way.
"That's really lame, you know." My voice sounds odd in my ears, too soft.
Christopher cups my chin and pulls my face back to his. Still smiling, he nods. "I know. Your boyfriend is really lame for you."
Eyes widening, my body feels like it can move again, like it has to move. I push up on thar arms of the cahri, but Chrisotpher is so close I can only lean flush against the back. "B-boyfriend?!" My mouth stumbles on the word, so unfamiliar. "Who said b- who said that? We're not- this isn't- you're not my- you're just a trial subscription!"
I push aside one of Christopher's shoulders and make my escape, putting the desk in between us. Looking out the window, I don't see anything. My heart frantically beats throughout my body.
"I'm a what?" Christopher mumbles behind me.
Closing my eyes, I just focus on breathing while the word "boyfriend" jumbles around my head. Christopher silently comes over because I can feel the head of his body behind me. Not sure what I'm expecting, I jump a little when he just leans forward and slightly places his head on my shoulder. My pulse that had been slowing jumps and starts its race again.
"All right, all right." His voice is husky and soothing, with a subtle hint of a smile. "We're taking it slow right now. But I still guarantee that you won't want to change your mind about me."
Shooting him a glare brings my face closer to his, his warm breath hits my cheek. Jerking my face back to the window, I just breath instead of responding.
"Are you angry with me?" He asks after a little while. I take my time to consider. I'm a little upset, but he didn't really cross any lines with me. If I were to think about it calmly, I ended up getting food and having a great employee. And I now understand Christopher more.
"No." I turn to face him, making him step back. "But you swear that Dee never told you anything about me?"
"She told me you don't eat, but that's it, I swear. Also," he leans toward me, "I'll just ask you myself from now on, now that we're dating."
It's all I can do not to cover my cheeks as they heat up. Without other movements, Christopher leans closer. "Dating." I mumble, my eyes have fallen to his mouth hovering near. "We're dating."
Christopher's breath slips out, as if he had been holding. I watch his lips move closer, until my eyes are drifting closed. The buzzing and sharp tone of my cellphone in my pocket makes me jump a little, each of us moving back. Fumbling a little, I pull the phone out and read the name.
"Oh! I have to take this!"
I spin away from Christopher and rush out of the room. Stopping in the hallway, I lean against the wall and try to calm down before answering. Lifting the phone, I accept the call. "Annyeonghaseyo!"
A/N: It took a while again to update, but it is long and well written, so I am happy.