Chapter 38

Pov: Jules

"Dylan, it's Juno."

I stop breathing.

The words don't register at first. My father's voice feels distant, like it's coming from underwater. But then the meaning settles, wrapping around my chest and squeezing.

"What?" My voice cracks, barely above a whisper.

"He was crossing the road," Dad says, his tone careful. Like he knows this will break me. "A car hit him. Dylan... he didn't make it."

A dull roar fills my ears. The bonfire, the voices, the music—it all becomes a blur. I hear my dad say something else, but the words are muffled, like my body has disconnected from my mind. My grip on the phone weakens, my fingers trembling.

No.

No, no, NO.

The phone slips from my hand, hitting the grass with a soft thud. I don't move to pick it up. I can't.

My body folds in on itself as the weight of the loss slams into me. A sharp, aching pain builds in my chest, suffocating me.

Juno was my constant. When my parents weren't there, when I felt like nothing, he was there. Always.

Nathan catches me before I collapse, his arms wrapping around me instinctively. I don't even process it at first—I just know I'm not falling.

A broken sob tears through me. Not quiet tears, but the kind that rips something open inside. I press my face into Nathan's chest, my fingers curling into his hoodie as if holding onto him will keep me from shattering completely.

Memories slam into me like waves

Juno curling up next to me when I cried myself to sleep. The deep, steady purring that always made me feel safe. The way he would follow me to school, sitting next to me on the bench while I smoked.

The one time he ran away for days—I was ten. I was devastated, convinced I'd lost him forever. But then he came back, and I promised myself I'd never let anything happen to him.

But now, it's real.

And I wasn't there.

"He's gone." My voice cracks. "Nathan—he's really gone." I can feel his body tense a little.

People are staring. The fire flickers, casting long shadows across the field, but I only feel exposed. Raw.

"Nathan, please—get me out of here."

He doesn't hesitate, he picks up my phone. His grip tightens around me as he guides me away, his body shielding mine. The sound of the bonfire fades as we move through the dark. I don't know where we're going, and I don't care. I just need to be anywhere but here.

The second we reach our spot—the bench —I sink down, curling into myself. I don't think, I just move, pressing into Nathan's warmth, my body exhausted from grief.

Nathan doesn't ask questions. He just holds me, his hand rubbing slow circles on my back.

After a moment, he murmurs, "What happened?"

I try to answer, but the words get stuck in my throat. When I finally manage, it's barely a whisper. "Juno... he—he got hit by a car."

Nathan stiffens slightly, but he doesn't pull away. He just holds me tighter.

"That's why my dad called," I admit. "But I—I hung up on him. I didn't let him tell me."

Guilt slams into me. If I hadn't been so angry, if I had just listened—

Nathan tips my chin up, so I have to look at him. His voice is steady, firm. "Jules, this isn't your fault."

But it feels like it is somehow.

I start spiralling. What if Juno was looking for me? What if he thought I was coming home? What if he waited by the door, expecting me to walk in like I always used to?

The thought is suffocating. My mind loops back, tormenting me with the idea of him searching, waiting, until it was too late. My breath hitches, panic clawing at my chest. The weight of it all—guilt, grief, regret—presses down so hard I feel like I might disappear beneath it.

My breath gets too fast, too shallow. My fingers grip Nathan's hoodie like a lifeline.

Nathan's voice cuts through. "Jules. Look at me."

I do.

He holds my face in his hands, thumbs brushing over my cheekbones. "Breathe with me."

His forehead rests against mine, his breath warm and steady, grounding me. My own breaths are still uneven, shaky, but I try—I try for him. In, out. Slower.

Nathan keeps his hands on my face, his touch firm but careful, like he's afraid I'll slip away if he lets go. I focus on the way his thumbs brush over my skin, on the steady rise and fall of his chest, on the warmth radiating from him like a shield against everything suffocating me.

I inhale deeply, and this time, I don't feel like I'm drowning.

Slowly, finally, my breath evens out.

Nathan's voice is soft. "Tell me about him."

"He was my best friend, Nate."

Nathan nods, like he understands completely.

I wipe at my face, though it doesn't do much. My voice shakes when I speak again. "He's always been there. Since I was little. When I felt bad, he was the only one who noticed. He'd sit with me for hours, purring like he could fix whatever was wrong. And sometimes, it felt like he could."

I take a shaky breath. "He used to follow me to school. Wait outside the building or sit with me on the bench before class. It was like he knew I needed him even when I didn't say it."

Nathan stays quiet, letting me go on, letting me unravel.

"And he was old, you know? I always knew I wouldn't have forever with him, but—I thought I had more time. I left him behind, and now... now I'm never going to see him again." My voice cracks, and I shut my eyes against the burning behind them. "I wasn't there. I didn't get to say goodbye."

Nathan listens. Really listens.

After a moment, he speaks, voice softer than I've ever heard it. "I would've loved to meet him."

I let out a broken, watery laugh. "He would've loved you."

Nate tilts his head. "Yeah?"

"You're both emotionally unavailable."

He lets out a short chuckle. "Sounds like my kind of cat."

I curl into Nate's warmth, pressing my face against his hoodie, trying to breathe through the ache threatening to swallow me whole.

His arms wrap around me, holding me together. Like he's silently promising he won't let me fall apart—not completely.

The grief is suffocating—It presses against my ribs, making it impossible to breathe. But then—there's him. His warmth. His steadiness.

"You're not alone," Nate murmurs, his voice low and steady, like he's saying it not just for me, but for himself too.

I swallow hard, my fingers tightening around the fabric of his hoodie. "It feels like I am sometimes."

His arms tighten slightly, grounding me. "You're not. You have me now."

The quiet stretches between us, but it's not empty. It's full—of unspoken things, of understanding. It makes me feel safe even while I'm unraveling.

Pov: Nathan

She curls into me, pressing her face against my hoodie, and I don't think twice before wrapping my arms around her again. Holding her tighter. Keeping her close.

Because I don't know how else to fix this for her. And I want to. More than I should.

Her breath is warm against my chest, but her body still shakes slightly. I can feel every tremor, every unsteady exhale, and something tightens in my throat.

I never talk about my past. I never let anyone close enough to know. But watching Jules like this—watching her break in my arms, trusting me enough to let me see it—it does something to me.

I don't want her to feel like she has to go through this alone.

So I tell her.

"I had a dog when I was a kid," I say suddenly, voice rough, hesitant.

Jules sniffles, blinking up at me. "You did?"

I nod, staring past her, my eyes catching on the flickering shadows from the bonfire in the distance. "Yeah. His name was Duke. I named him that 'cause he acted like king of the house, but Duke sounded cooler."

A small, watery laugh escapes her, like she wasn't expecting that. I feel it in my chest.

But the warmth doesn't last. Not when I remember the rest.

"Then one day, he was gone," I say quietly. "My father got rid of him. Didn't even tell me. I just came home, and he wasn't there."

Jules stares at me, something soft and aching in her expression. "Did you ever find out where he went?"

I shake my head. "No. Just that he wasn't mine anymore. I used to think my father took him to a castle, where he could be king."

Silence settles between us, heavy and thick.

And then—Jules reaches for me, her fingers wrapping around my wrist. She doesn't say sorry. She doesn't pity me.

She just holds on.

Jules has stopped crying, though her face is still warm from the tears. Her eyes are red-rimmed, lashes damp, but she's still the prettiest damn thing I've ever seen. Even now, even with grief weighing on her, she looks breathtaking. And it does something to me—knowing she doesn't even realize it, knowing she'll probably roll her eyes if I ever tell her. She looks up at me, her fingers still gripping my hoodie, her breathing more even now. Steady.

And something shifts.

It's not just about Juno. It's not just about Duke.

It's about us.

We've spent so much time pretending we weren't this. Pretending the pull between us wasn't real.

But tonight? Neither of us are pretending anymore.

Jules exhales shakily, like she's trying to process it, too. Her eyes search mine, looking for something—confirmation, maybe. Proof that she's not imagining this. That it's not just the aftermath of everything tonight.

I don't look away. I want her to know. I want her to see it.

First, got interrupted by her dad calling. Then, again...

And now...

Third time's the charm.

I don't hesitate anymore.

I've spent so long convincing myself to keep her at arm's length. To not feel this. To not want her.

But Jules? She's already under my skin.

She always has been. Since I saw her the first time in our dorm.

I watch her, see every part of her—the way she's still fragile from crying, the way she's trying to be strong.

And I just want her to know I'm here.

My voice is quiet but steady. "You know I'm here for you, right?"

Jules blinks up at me, something shifting in her expression. "I know."

And that's it.

That's the moment everything changes.

I've never felt this way before.

Like someone crept under my skin and rearranged something in me without me even realizing. Like she had unraveled me. Knocked all my walls down.

And I'm not even afraid.

Because I know, without a doubt, it's her.

I've never wanted anything the way I want this. No, need this.

I've never let myself need before.

But with her? I do.

I brush my fingers against her cheek, my thumb tracing the soft skin there. She's so beautiful it makes my chest ache, makes something inside me shift in a way I can't explain. Her eyes flicker to my lips.

I lean in, just enough for our noses to brush, close enough to feel the warmth of her breath.

My voice is rough, unsteady. "Can I—"

Jules nods before I even finish, just once, just enough.

And I don't hesitate.

I kiss her.

And it's not rushed. It's not desperate or hard or any of the things I thought it might be.

It's soft. Slow. Aching.

It's me telling her I'm here.

It's her telling me she believes it.

Jules melts into me, letting me pull her closer, like there is no other place she'd rather be.

I feel like I can breathe again.

I tilt my head, deepening the kiss, my hands pressing against her back like I don't want to let go.

Because I don't.

We pull apart, but just barely.

Jules' forehead rests against mine, her breathing soft, her fingers still clinging to me.

I close my eyes for a second, trying to memorize this.

Like something that was always supposed to happen.

"That was..." Jules whispers, voice still thick with emotion.

I let out a breathless laugh, soft, real. "Yeah."

She tilts her head slightly. "You don't regret it?"

My lips twitch. "Jules, you have no idea."

"About what?"

My voice drops lower, softer. "How long I've wanted to do that."

Jules exhales a small laugh, but it sounds different now.

Like she finally gets it.

She lifts a hand, brushing her fingers lightly along my jaw. She doesn't say anything—just smiles, bright and beautiful, like the sun breaking through a storm. And somehow, that says more than words ever could.

And me?

I've never believed in anything more than this moment. It's not just a kiss. It's her—Jules, beautiful and real and right here in my arms. Her eyes still shine, the remnants of sadness lingering there, but beneath it, there's something else—something warmer, something just for me. And it undoes me completely.

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A/N

AAHHHHHH IM KICKING MY FEET!!! And crying... yeah... sorry about that. BUT THEY KISSED so don't be TOOOOO mad <3

I LOVE YOU ALL MY LOVELIES <3