Chapter 131: Chapter Thirty-four

Demetri

I walked aimlessly down the halls, confused about so many things, and wishing I could somehow make it all better.

I think there's a point in everyone's life where they try to figure out that one moment where they took a wrong turn and then watch as the catastrophic events after it fall like a trail of dominoes.

One choice affected April's, which in turn affected mine, which affected Jaymeson's. My head spun with all the possibilities, all the outcomes.

I'd thought I'd been making progress over the past year, but the truth of the matter was I was still like a kid waiting for the approval of others and hoping to God I was doing the right thing.

I walked past a few rooms. I glanced to my left and saw Alec's hands folded and his head resting against them, against Nat's bed. I turned to walk into the room and knocked softly on the door.

His head jerked up.

“You okay?” I asked, taking a seat on the other side of the bed.

He looked at Nat then back at me. “Not really. You?”

“Not really.”

We both laughed. Not because it was funny, but because it was so damn tragic.

I reached for Nat's hand, thankful that it was warm, meaning she was living — breathing. “I, uh, I remembered something today.”

“Yeah?” Alec leaned forward resting his elbows against the bed. “What?”

“Dad.” My voice cracked. “When he told you about my adoption. It's funny the memory had always been fuzzy. All I remembered was the word, and remembering it meant I was different.

Alec's eyes held mine for a second before he cursed and looked down. “Then you remember what I promised.”

“Yeah.”

“I failed you.”

“What?” I let out a frustrated laugh. “You didn't. You were a little kid, Alec. I think we've already established that you aren't Superman.”

He didn't say anything so I just kept talking. “Our dad gave you a huge job. He asked you to do something that a kid your age barely even understands.

“I hated you,” Alec interrupted. “For five whole minutes I hated you. I hated that you still had a mom and dad.

I didn't know what to say. I mean, what are you supposed to say when someone says something like that?

Alec clenched and unclenched his fists. “And then after five minutes you walked into the room.

“Dad had given you some money to go buy some candy at the gift shop.” Alec bit down hard on his lip as his eyes glazed over with tears. “You bought a bear instead.”

“I did?”

“Yeah.” Alec snorted. “You bought a bear.

“It was wearing a shirt that said “Cancer free.” You said you weren't really sure what it meant but that the lady in the store said it would make us feel better about our dad having cancer, because even though he did, the bear didn't, and we could still hug our bear and he would remind us that we still had each other.

We could still fight. We had something to fight for.”

My heart hammered in my chest as my throat tightened with just barely restrained tears. “I don't remember at all.”

“Blocked it out.” Alec nodded. “I'm sure you blocked it out, but in that moment I couldn't hate you anymore. I think the jealousy was always there. You were always so… easy.”

“Thanks, man.” I laughed. “I feel like you just called me a whore.”

Alec laughed with me. “Shut up. You know what I mean, and I think we both know who'd get the label in our little group.”

I chuckled and rubbed Nat's hand some more. “What are we going to do?”

Steely resolve reflected in Alec's gaze. “We're going to do what he didn't.”

“What's that?”

“Survive.” Alec looked back to Nat. “Survive and fight like hell.” He kissed her forehead and rose from his seat. “I'm going to go do something I should have done long ago.”

“What?”

“Get my head out of my ass and apologize to every single person who was affected by my lies — by my actions. Starting with your mom.”

I followed him to the door. “Does she deserve it? After everything?”

“Nobody deserves grace, Demetri. That doesn't mean we don't still offer it when given the opportunity.”

I smirked. “There he is.”

“What?”

“My big brother. I knew he was in there somewhere.”

He glared. “Very funny.”

I stretched my arms over my head and yawned. “Finally, I can go back to being the stupid immature one. Thank God.

Alec threw his head back and laughed, then wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “Ass.”

“Bastard.”

“Really?” Alyssa approached us, arms crossed. “Name-calling? After the day we've had?”

Alec backed away with his hands up in surrender. “He's all yours.”

Alyssa glared. I called after Alec, “Thanks, man! Thanks for abandoning me. What about all that brothers stick together stuff you just said!”

Alec ignored me and kept walking, leaving me alone with a very ticked-off Alyssa.

“Babe…” I smiled and crooked my finger at her.

Uh-oh, she was raising her hand. Crap, she was going to slap me. Well, I guess I deserved it. I—

Her mouth assaulted mine, hot and urgent. She pushed her tongue against mine. Damn, she tasted good. I pried her away and swore. “Good God, what did I do? Tell me what it was so I can do it again!”

Her hand came soaring out of nowhere, landing with a crack across my left cheek. “Ah, I was expecting that. Cruel. You seduced me before you hit me. That has to be against some rule.”

Alyssa pushed against my chest with her tiny hands. I always found it hilarious when she tried to fight me. “You suck!

“I've been worried sick about you for days and then after the whole adoption thing, and your real mom, and we never finished the conversation we started this afternoon because of all the drama in our lives, and I just—” Alyssa hit me again and started to cry.

Chuckling, I held her against me and kissed her head. “Let me get this straight. You hate that you love me so much and I'm an ass?”

“Well…” She sniffled. “Not in that particular order.”

“Oh?”

“You're an ass first.”

I choked on my laugh. “Thanks, babe. I love you too.”

Sighing, she pulled away from me. Refusing to look me in the eyes, she looked down at the floor and put her hands on her hips. “What happens after all this?

She was freaking adorable. Alyssa was trying so hard to be strong. She hated being vulnerable, and I know it was hard for her sometimes, considering I wasn't always as serious as she would like.

It was easy to forget where she was a year ago because she was doing so damn well now.

“Lyss, come here.”

“No.” She looked at the ground. “Not until you tell me.”

“How old are you?” I reached for her hand.

She let me grab it and sighed. “Nineteen.”

“You really wanna get married at nineteen?”

That got her attention. Her head snapped up. Was she going to slap me again?

“Married?”

I nodded and slowly pulled her into my embrace, tilting her chin up so she would actually look at me and stop avoiding eye contact. “I love you.”

A pretty blush stained her cheeks. She tried to pull away, but I held her chin so she had no choice.

“Listen,” I commanded. “Because you know I only say things once, and then I have to crack some sort of inappropriate joke.”

She smirked.

“I love you so damn much that I'm pretty sure I'd let birds eat me alive if I couldn't have you. I'd lose my freaking mind if I couldn't touch your smooth skin every day.

“I crave you the way a person craves oxygen. I need you in order to fully be me. We're a pair — soul mates. What we have is eternal and I'm not going anywhere. I think we've established that.

“My adoption? Means nothing. You're my family — you're my everything. I want you. So where does that leave us? I guess it leaves us with forever.”

Alyssa's eyes pooled with tears. She nodded jerkily and wrapped her arms around my neck. “I can't be without you.”

“Good.” I took a deep breath so I could calm my racing heart. “Because I know for a fact I couldn't exist without you.”

“Of course not.” She pulled away and wiped at a few tears. “You need someone to scare away all the birds.”

“Hilarious.”

Grinning, she held out her hand. I took it and kissed each fingertip before twirling her around in my arms and walking with her back down the hall.

We walked in silence to April's room where I was hoping Alec was making some sort of headway. I really didn't want to be a part of that conversation. She almost died — on purpose, but still.

Even I was having trouble processing all the information. Damn, I needed taffy.

“They won't let me in,” Alec said once we reached her door. “They said she needs her rest.”

I patted him on the back. “We can come back tomorrow. Let's go talk to Dr. Murray and see if we can spring Nat from this place. You know how she hates hospitals ever since my accident.”

Nodding, Alec walked off to talk to the nurses.

Jaymeson was leaning against the wall looking like he had one foot in the grave. Someone seriously needed to fix that guy's teeth. He lost one of his bottom teeth from me punching him in the jaw.

He hadn't smiled in days.

“So?” I released Alyssa's hand and approached him. “You want to come back with us? We can talk to April tomorrow. I'll do whatever you want, man.

Jaymeson stared at the ground. His eyes were bloodshot. I didn't know whether I needed to give him a hug or slap him to he'd snap out of it.

“Um…” Exhaling, he crossed his arms. “I just need someone to tell me what to do. If I stay I won't get to see her, if I leave I feel like a shitty stepson.”

“Be the shitty stepson,” Alec said from behind me. “I just talked to the nurse and she'll be out the rest of the day and most likely the night. We can come back later this evening if you want.”

After a few minutes, Jaymeson nodded.

“What about Nat?” I asked Alec.

He laughed. “Her dad's all over it. He said she needs to rest for a bit, so I'm going to go hang out in her room. Just bring me some food later tonight when you come back, okay?

I patted Alec on the back and grabbed Alyssa's hand. “Let's go.”

Jaymeson followed and grumbled something about being the third wheel. At least he had somewhat of a sense of humor back.

After all, the only reason the shit hit the fan was because she was throwing it — and I knew Jaymeson wasn't going to let her get away with it.