Chapter 5: Chapter Five

Alec

Later that evening, I opened the window and listened to the waves as they crashed against the beach. There was something so calming about the ocean, about the noise.

It sounded like peace.

Something I hadn't felt in a very long time.

A light flickered on next door.

I was still pissed that we were neighbors with the cute girl, let alone that our shrink was her mom. Could things get more complicated?
 Oh right, Demetri was circling her like a damn crow.

She was texting someone.

Not that I was being the creepy guy who was watching a girl through her bedroom window.

I mean I wasn't a stalker or anything, but damn, her smile was captivating. I found myself smiling every time she did.

On my phone.

To her phone.

Where was something to throw when I needed it?

A run. I needed to go for a run or do something—anything that would get my sorry ass out of my room and away from stalker-like tendencies.

Nat sighed and lay down on her bed.

So I went and lay down on mine.

I imagined what it would be like to hold her—not kiss her—just hold her in my arms. Would she be soft? Would she blush? Hell, I missed a girl who knew how to blush.

I touched my lips, suddenly aware of how many times I'd kissed girls, screwed girls, hurt them, and not even given it a second thought.

She was the type of girl that should have been my first. The one that you kiss once and never want to stop kissing.

I imagined a life where I'd been born normal. I would have gone to school with her; I would have asked her out on a date. I would have kissed her as soon as I could. I would have held her hand.

Demetri's knocking interrupted my daydream.

“What?” I called.

“Dude” —Demetri pushed the door open, stumbling towards my bed— “I may have overdone it.”

“Overdone it. How?” I tensed as he approached and plopped down onto the mattress. “Ugh, but she was so hot.”

“Nat?” It was a toss-up between sheer panic and wanting to strangle him.

“No.” Demetri snorted. “The girl in the newspaper who said I screwed her. I swear I only kissed her.” He laughed again. “God, I hate girls.”

“Are you high?”

He was silent for a minute, “Maybe.”

“Man… you gotta cut that shit out.”

“She makes me want to.” He sniffled. “She's so pretty.”

“Are we talking about Nat again?”

“Yeah,” he whispered, “I like her hair.”

Get in line.

“And she has such pretty eyes, you think she'd go out with me? If I asked? For real?”

“That depends,” I said slowly. “Do you think you can keep yourself from getting high so you can actually get behind the wheel of a car and not put her in danger?”

Demetri swore. “You're not our dad!”

“No.” I clenched my fists. “He's dead.”

Demetri punched the mattress. “Look, I'm sorry I just have lots of… feelings.”

“I'm aware.”

With a heavy sigh he pushed off the bed and saluted me. “I'll make you a promise. No drugs. As long as she says “yes”, and we hang out and things are normal.

God, I need normal…” He wiped his face with his hands. “Then no drugs.”

“Swear?” A flicker of hope erupted in my chest. “Swear right now that if things go good with her you won't mess it up. Swear to me, Demetri.”

His face got really serious. “I swear. I want her, man. I like her, she makes me feel… happy.”

“Don't bring her down with you.”

“How could I?” He seemed genuinely confused. “When she lifts me up?”

Yeah. The only question? What would happen when he tired of her or when she didn't return the feelings.

Or when I did the same thing I did so long ago—and try to get her for myself. Because who was I kidding? I was borderline obsessed and she thought I hated her.

One day.

One day in Seaside and my life was already flipping upside down.

“Night man.” Demetri shut my bedroom door, his footsteps echoing across the hall.

I got up from my bed and went to the window, watching Nat as she put her hair in a ponytail and crawled into bed.

Swear, she went to bed earlier than anyone I knew—her mom still had two more appointments before the night was over—and both were for me and Demetri. I watched as the lights dimmed in her room.

“Another lifetime.” I sighed. “In another lifetime, pretty girl, I would have asked for your favorite color. Your favorite song.

“I would have held your hand.” I sighed and shoved my hands in my pockets. “Yeah, I would have loved the honor of holding your hand.”