Chapter 62: Chapter One

Demetri

Seven weeks previous

I sighed for the tenth time, hoping to gain some flicker of sympathy from Nat. But she was immobile. Like a really hot stone that refused to crack.

I nudged her with my foot.

Which made things worse.

I feel like that's all I do these days. Make things worse and then reap the awesome benefits of being a total and complete screw-up.

Maybe it's because I'm clueless. I'm the guy who chases the girl when clearly she wants someone else.

Damn. I'm the pathetic number two.

“Nat?” If she wasn't going to give in, at least I could ask her honestly. She was never the type of girl to completely ignore me when I asked her a question.

After my near-death experience, where I swear I saw my life flash before my eyes, Nat had been a lot nicer about things between me, her, and my brother.

The ménage a'weird.

“What, Demetri? You've only been sighing like some lovesick teenager for the past hour. What do you want?”

Now that I felt completely stupid, I didn't want to ask her anymore. I knew she'd either tell my brother, Alec, or laugh in my face.

“Promise you won't tell Alec?”

“He's my boyfriend. I love him. I tell him everything.”

Crap. “Everything?”

Nat rolled her brown eyes and shook her long blond hair to the side. She had no idea how beautiful she was.

“Yes, Demetri, everything. Including the time Mom and I helped you shower after your accident, and you pretended to fall, only to have me fall on top of you.”

Like an idiot, I grinned. I couldn't help it. “I take it Alec wasn't amused.”

“You think?” She pushed me and switched the channel. Wonder of wonders, it was my brother, singing at some awards show.

Nat sighed. “I wish I could've gone with him.”

“Nat.” I nudged her with my leg. “You know he wishes you were there too. He'll be back in a few days to take you to college, so you can both move on with your lives and leave me here in Hell.

“Hey. Your choice, not mine.” She lifted her hands in the air and sighed. “Besides, aren't there some really good rehab places in California? We could all be close and —”

I shook my head and managed to interrupt her by waving my hand wildly in the air. “Not gonna happen.”

“Why?” She seemed genuinely upset, which made me want to shoot myself — in a total non-suicidal way, of course.

“You guys need your time away from everything, away from this.” I pointed at myself and managed a tight smile, even when it was killing me inside to even be talking about that again.

Last year Nat had fallen for both me and my brother. I, being the genuine ass that I was, knew she had the hots for him but jumped in and tried to steal her anyway.

I still wasn't dealing with some past shit that had nearly ruined my life. I blamed Alec for it, and for once I just wanted the girl first, so I could rub his face in it.

Eventually it blew up in my face.

Literally blew up in my face in the form of a killer car accident that I just barely managed to escape with all my limbs intact.

After all that, it was apparent that while Nat loved me, it wasn't the type of love you sell your soul for, or die over.

Nope, it was more like the kind you feel for your hot cousin or maybe your grandmother. You love them.

The love she felt for Alec?

Well, it was the Twilight kind. Sorry, but it's the only comparison I could think of on the spot, especially considering Nat made me read all the books.

A love I've only experienced once in my life. A love like that doesn't happen twice. It's impossible.

“Nat?”

“What?” She seemed irritated with me. So what else was new?

I turned around and sat back down.

“Do you think?” Oh man, I really needed to find a substitute for all the alcohol and pot, because right now all I wanted to do was go get high or drunk or jump off a cliff.

Ever since I quit partying, I felt like a complete and total girl.

Commercials about dogs made me teary-eyed, and last week when I saw an old man cross the street with his little wife and watched him pat her hand, I grinned like a fool and whistled the entire way home.

“Spit it out, Demetri.”

“Fine,” I grumbled and looked away from her. I couldn't look at her if I had to ask this. “Do you think that true love, the type you have with Alec, do you think it could happen twice in a lifetime?”

Nat flipped off the TV.

Aw, crap. She only did that when she needed to concentrate.

“Demetri, if this is about us…”

“No! Hell, no!” Nat scowled. “No, not like that. I don't mean it like that. What I meant was it's not about us. I know how it sounds. Sorry. I just… I don't know.

“Why wouldn't you be able to?”

I looked at her. I mean, really looked at her. Damn, the girl was too adorable. Was she serious? “Nat, I'm a recovering druggie and alcoholic at nineteen. I almost died.

“Because I'm a rock star, I have one true friend — two if you count my brother.

“And, oh right, I'm stuck in Seaside, Oregon, for the next year while you go off and have the time of your life in L.A. Add that in with all the intense psychotherapy I'm in from two years ago when my girlfriend not only cheated on me with my brother, but died in a tragic car accident with their son, and yeah… I guess I'm being a little pessimistic.

“Perhaps a bit depressing, but come on, Nat! Shit, look at me!”

Nat's lip began to tremble.

Crap. I made her cry.

Alec was going to have me by the balls.

“Nat, I didn't mean…” I reached out to touch her arm.

She shook her head; a single tear ran down her cheek. “Demetri, I'm so sorry!”

I hated it when Nat cried. It made my chest hurt, and I knew Alec would be pissed that I was the one that caused it. I had always caused it.

Feeling like a total ass, I pulled her into my arms and shushed her. “Nat, you know I didn't mean it the way it sounded. I guess I just want to know there's more out there for me, you know?

Nat sniffled and pulled back. “Do you really think that poorly of yourself? That it would be impossible for someone to fall in love with you?”

I shook my head. “It's not that easy, Nat. Everyone loves me.”

She punched me and laughed as she wiped a few tears away.

“Nat.” I groaned. “It's true, and you know it. But who's ever going to see me for me and fall in love with me? The real me.” I wanted to smack myself.

Why was it so important that I find what Nat and Alec had anyway? My heart clenched a bit in my chest. I tried to ignore the pain. I mean, it could be heartburn or something, right?

It just sucked, and honestly, after all the paparazzi stopped stalking my every waking move, and after Alec left for L.A… I was kind of lonely. Shit. I was a freaking girl.

Nat was silent. She bit her lip, sniffling still. “Demetri, nobody's going to fall in love with you.”

My heart pounded loudly in my chest as the truth of her words hit home. I opened my mouth to speak, but she kept talking.

“Not until you learn to love yourself. Not until you learn to forgive. You can't ask someone to love you when you still don't even love yourself.”

Natalee Murray, ladies and gentlemen. Wisest woman in the world. “You sure you're only eighteen?”

“Going on ninety,” she joked and punched me in the arm. “Seriously, Demetri. Maybe you're right. Maybe it's good you're staying back here this summer.

“I think it will be good for you to just lay low. Besides, Mom said that you still had some things to work through with her rehab program.”

Nat's mom was one of the best addiction counselors on the West Coast. How fortunate for me that she lived in the most boring place in the world. Also known as the taffy capital of the universe.

I groaned. “I'm going to be bored out of my mind.”

“You have Bob!” she said enthusiastically, pointing at my security guard and, sadly, one of my only friends if you didn't count Nat or Alec. And again, the loneliness reared its ugly head.

“He's bald and watches American Idol to fill the void that killing too many people has put in his life.”

“Heard that,” Bob mumbled from the corner.

“Wasn't whispering!” I shouted.

Bob cleared his throat.

“Sorry, Bob,” we said in unison.

Ever since the accident, the media had been relentless, so Bob was the only relationship I was in. Sadly, I looked forward to seeing his ugly mug every day.

One would think that after the accident things would have died down. Instead, not a day went by that I didn't see some new story about myself on the news.

That's always fun, seeing ugly pictures of myself with headlines above them saying I'm on drugs. It's a real self-esteem booster. I groaned into my hands.

“You'll be fine, Demetri. I promise.”

“What am I going to do?” I whined.

Nat laughed. “Why don't you work?”

“I work.”

“You've been sitting on your butt ever since the accident. You haven't even written one song — not even a jingle. Why don't you get a job?”

Bob laughed from the corner.

I narrowed my eyes at him and pointed harshly before turning back to Nat. “Sorry, babe, I don't know the meaning of the word.”

“You put in hours, make money, pay bills.”

“Hmm, sounds an awful lot like prostitution, and I don't want to give away the goods for free, if you get my meaning.”

Nat groaned and put her face in her hands.

I grinned, liking our little exchange. No way in hell was I getting a job.

“I've got it!” Nat jumped from her seat. “Follow me!”

She ran up the stairs.

I chose not to follow.

Hey, I almost died! Physical exertion? Not my thing. I was the type of guy that had six-pack abs without even trying. Pretty sure that was another reason I got hate mail.

Nat came back downstairs and breezed past me. “Close your eyes.”

I glared.

“Just do it!”

“Fine.” I closed my eyes and waited, while she fashioned something on my head.

“Okay, open!”

I opened my eyes and slowly walked to the kitchen mirror. I gazed at my reflection and swore. Nat was jumping wildly behind me. Bob was trying his best not to laugh.

“Hell. No.” I reached up for the visor on my head that said Seaside Taffy, but Nat swatted my hand away.

“It will be perfect! You'll see!”

“No, I won't, because I'm not doing it. No.” I shook my head and crossed my arms. “No. Never.”

Nat smiled and pulled out her phone. “We'll see about that.”

“Who are you calling?” I tried to keep the panic from my voice.

“Your brother.”

“Why?”

“I'm going to tell him you tried to get me to give you a sponge bath tonight.”

I cursed. “You wouldn't.”

“I would.” She held the phone up. “Take the job, Demetri. Make friends. Get a life.”

“Sometimes I wish we weren't friends.”

She threw back her head and laughed. “No, you don't. You love me, and I love you.”

“That's what got me in this stupid situation in the first place,” I grumbled, keeping the visor on and slumping into the nearest chair.”

“Just think,” Nat leaned over me whispering. “You can try all the taffy flavors! Bob over there is on number two hundred already.”

“Swell.” How sad that trying every taffy flavor was supposed to be a perk.

“Oh, and Demetri? Mr. Smith says an early riser is a happy worker!”