Chapter 93: Chapter Thirty-two

Demetri

A shitty day was just made worse. I walked — correction — I ran to Alyssa's house, and now I was paying the price for staying up half the night with her while she cried in my arms.

I kissed her on the forehead before I left. I even tucked her in bed so she could rest.

It was a new day. Maybe things would start to get better?

As I turned the last corner that led me back to the boardwalk, a camera went off and then another and another until I was blinded by paparazzi.

“Demetri, you look terrible. Are you on drugs again?”

“Demetri! Did your girlfriend dump you?”

“Is the show canceled?”

“Where's your brother?”

My mouth opened to give a snotty retort when I felt someone's arm around my shoulders. I looked up to see Jaymeson grinning like a fool.

“Enough about AD2, let's talk about me.” He pushed me slightly out of the way and directly into Nat's arms.

I shook as she held me and walked me to where Alec was standing.

We walked in silence to the beach house. Nat kept holding me close to her as if trying to protect me from all the crazy people out there. And Alec, for once, didn't joke about our relationship.

Finally, once we were in the safety of our own house, with Bob at the door like some sort of guard dog, Alec lost it.

“What the hell, Demetri? You were out all night! You weren't answering your phone and you just disappeared! Nobody knew where you were.”

“Sorry.” I sighed in exhaustion.

“You look like shit, man.”

“Thanks,” I croaked.

“Where did you go?”

“To hell and back, thanks for asking. Do we have any coffee?”

Nat patted my hand. “I'll run next door and get some. You guys ran out yesterday.”

The room fell silent except for Nat's footsteps on the hardwood floor as she left our house and ran next door.

“I went to fix things with Alyssa.”

“And how'd that work out for you?”

“Does my shirt look like it has a rainbow on it? Are birds chirping in the distance and butterflies flapping around my head?”

“That sucks, bro.”

“Wow, you really need to learn how to give better advice.” I shook my head. “I'm just exhausted. I think I need five pounds of coffee and at least a few hours of sleep before I can talk about it.”

“Oh,” came Nat's voice. I turned around to see not just her standing there but Mrs. Murray as well.

“Care to talk?”

“Care to medicate me?” I snapped.

“He's tired,” Alec explained.

“Your choice, Demetri,” Mrs. Murray said.

Exhaustion finally hit the tipping point as I nodded my head. I couldn't speak.

“Coffee and then we talk and then medication?” The words stumbled out in a slur.

Mrs. Murray smiled. “Yes to the first two, and no to the last.”

“A guy can try.”

****

A half hour later I was in Mrs. Murray's office sitting on the floor. The coffee had woken me up a bit but not as much as I would have liked.

It felt weird to be sitting in the exact same spot I'd sat in every week and think about how much I'd changed.

When I first came to therapy I was a total ass.

Now I was a broken ass.

I wondered which was better?

I smirked at my own joke. Yup, completely exhausted.

“Something funny?” Mrs. Murray asked, taking her seat.

“Life.”

“If you don't laugh, you'll cry, am I right?”

I nodded in agreement. “I don't really know what to say. I just spent the night holding the girl I love in my arms. Watching pain rip through her heart almost killed me.”

“I need you to know something, Demetri.” Mrs. Murray folded her hands across her lap and sighed. “I can't be your therapist anymore.”

“You've got to be kidding me. Are you seriously trying to kill me?” I couldn't believe she would drop this bomb on me after the night I'd had!

“I know your mom and dad are gone, Demetri. I know you and Alec are alone. Sometimes people don't need therapy. They don't even need to talk. They just need to be held.

“And you have nobody to hold you, no adult to tell you how proud they are of you. As your therapist I can tell you you've made great strides.”

She laughed and pulled away. “As Nat's mother, I want to tell you that I am so proud of the man you have become, and I know your parents would feel the same way.

“You are stronger than you'll ever know, and you will get through this, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but each day as you heal, the pain will slowly dissipate and you'll walk away from this feeling stronger than before.

I shook my head.

“Pain. Pain makes life beautiful, because if we never had pain, we'd never be forced to grow. You've been given your fair share of pain, some of it self-inflicted, some of it just bad luck.

“But as a therapist I have to believe there's a reason for it, and as a mom I know everything happens for a reason. Your pain matches your destiny, and you, Demetri Daniels, have a great destiny.”

Unable to think of what to do, I just stared at her and told myself that guys don't cry and that I'd been doing too much of that lately.

After a few brief seconds I found my voice. “Thank you.”

“You're welcome.”

“Oh, and you're fired.”

“Finally.” Mrs. Murray winked. “You know you can talk to me anytime, but you've been more of a son to me than my client this last year.”

“Thanks for separating the two until I was ready.”

“I'm not a fan of overwhelming people just getting over drug addictions.”

“That reminds me.” I snapped my fingers. “You got those meds?”

“Go home, Demetri.”

I saluted her and walked out of the house feeling lighter than I'd felt in years. The pain was still there, but now it was a reminder of growth.

With a smile on my face I pulled out my phone and texted Alyssa.

GOOD MORNING BEAUTIFUL! HOW WAS UR NIGHT? MINE WAS HORRIBLE EVEN WITH YOU BY MY SIDE. I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER. WHEN UR READY U CAN FIND ME ON THE CORNER W MY BUCKET.