"It's not about forcing happiness but it's about letting sadness win."
Bree's pov.
After lunch classes had gone on uneventfully, I got back home and decided on going to the dance studio nearby.
They opened it a week ago. I parked my car and walked up the marble stairs that lead to the main door of my house.
"Hey Maria," I say as I enter and start heading towards my room.
"Hey, sweetheart. How was your day?" she asks me.
"Weird, " I responded in one word, and she giggles. I continue walking towards my room while thinking about my day.
I get back to my bedroom and throw my backpack aside. I take off my shoes followed by my clothes and walk into the shower. The hot water felt so nice against my skin. I run my hand through my hair as the water keeps pouring.
Wrapping the bathrobe around my body, I step out and walk towards my closet. I put on a pair of shorts and sweatshirt while wiping my wet hair. Brushing my hair, I leave it over my shoulders and walk out of my closet.
I pack my dance bag and sling it over my shoulder. Grabbing my phone, I leave my room and head downstairs.
"Maria, I'm going to the dance studio nearby. I'll be back by 6 o'clock or so," I announce, and she nods.
The studio is only ten minutes away from home. I convinced Jackson to ask Brad to leave me alone for today. Brad and Maria fell for each other, and they never got to spend time with each other.
I parked my lambi and entered the place. The floors are covered in red carpet, and the walls are painted in blue. The reception is on the left side as I entered. The wall behind was covered in a spray-painted ballet dancer.
Beautiful, isn't it?
I stop in front of the reception desk. The woman is wearing a blue skirt and white blouse with the name tag which spelled,
Larrisa.
She greets me with a smile, and I tell her my requirement, "Larrisa can I have a private room?"
She nods her head and asks me, "Your name please?"
"Bree Adams," I say, and she directs me into my room.
The room is full of mirrors reflecting me.
Ah, how much do I hate myself?
I locked the door behind me and changed into my dance pants and a sports bra. I stand in the middle of the room and take a deep breath while taking in the atmosphere of the place. The wooden floors creaked under my feet. I connected my iPhone surround and played music. I start dancing my way. I learned ballet a few years ago.
Tears start rolling down as I dance. Every memory of my family and friends start playing in my mind. I miss them so much. I should have died instead of them.
Why can't you move on?
Because they're all I had, and maybe I love them so much that I can never move on from the beautiful pages of my life. I close my eyes while I dance. I danced continuously for several songs and then stopped. I wiped away the tears and sat down on the floor. My phone starts ringing, and my ringtone blasts through the surround.
I disconnect it from the surround and check the caller Id. Jackson.
I sigh and pick the call, "Hey brother."
"Hey, Kitty. How's a dance going on?" Jackson asks. He was surprised when I said that I was going to the dance studio because I stopped since the accident. I shake my head as the tears threaten to fall.
My tears have got great timing.
"It's hard to move on Jackson. I'm trying hard," I tell him while wiping away the tears.
"Bree it'll be hard, but you have to try. You are the strongest woman I've ever seen. You've gone through shit all alone, Bree. Mom and dad would be so proud of you. But they wouldn't want to see you breaking down and shutting everyone out," he says.
I nod even though he couldn't see me. "I miss you, Jackson," I say, and it was the truth.
"I miss you too Kitty," he says. I wipe away my tears and stand up.
"I promised you I'll try and I will Jackson. I love you. Bye," I say.
"I love you too Kitty. Bye. Take care," he says and drops the call.
I again connect my phone to the surround and start dancing but this time, I didn't cry. I'm forcing myself not to cry. At the end of the two songs, I check the time. It was ten minutes to six already. I disconnect my phone and something catches my eye or rather someone.
Someone is peeping inside through the glass door. I couldn't see the person's face properly. I'm sure that it's a male person. The person leaves when he realizes I caught him peeping through. I sigh and get to the changing room. I put on my shorts and sweatshirt and pack my bag to leave. I sip on some Gatorade as I stepped out. I get to the reception and paid the money and left.
I enter the house to see Maria and Brad making out in the kitchen.
"Go get a room, guys," I say, and Maria blushes.
My face has become so emotionless that I don't even smile for a second. I just can't help it. I've been having a lot of showers lately. I, again, get into the shower. I get out and wear my shorts and a tank top. I'm feeling hungry, so I go to the kitchen.
"Do you want to eat sweetheart?" Maria inquires.
"Yeah I'm feeling hungry," I say and Maria nods with pure shock on her face. I haven't been eating properly ever since the accident.
Maria serves me some mac and cheese. I put on some TV and sit down in the living room.
I asked Maria also to come. I put on American horror story and eat my dinner. I finished my dinner and said goodnight to Maria before heading back to my room. I get back to my bedroom. I look at the picture of my family and tears start forming in my eyes.
I take it and curl up in the bed with it close to my chest. I let the tears flow freely. A sob escapes from my lips. I scream into my pillow, but it doesn't help. My mind wanders about how we used to be.
I take the remote that controls my roof. I had a roof that I could change to see through. The opaque layer moves out giving me the view of the sky through the bulletproof glass.
My parents got it designed, especially for me. I look at the stars and let my tears fall freely. I could have been in place of them. I fall asleep thinking about them.
~
"Jared, please don't leave me," I say with tears.
"I love you, princess. Promise me you'll stay happy after I'm gone," Jared asks me. I look at him.
"I promise," I say, and he pulls me into a kiss.
"I love you," I say and take his hand in mine. The machines start beeping.
I look at Jared who's just staring at me with a smile. Not blinking. His hold on my hand loosens.
"You can't do this to me, Jared, " I shout but he doesn't respond. The doctors come and take my place. I don't move my eyes from him. The doctor turns to me.
"He's no more," the doctor says. He's dead. Jared is dead...........
~
I jerk open my eyes with tears in them. I sit up. Everyone wanted me to stay happy after they left but how could I. Jared. He's gone. My family and friends left me. Only Jackson was left, and I was scared of losing him. I scream into my pillow.
Fucking hell. Jared died when we were in junior high. He loved me, and I loved him too. We were dating and one day when we went out with our families, he collapsed. When we took him to the hospital, the doctors said that he was about to die and was in the last stage of a brain tumor.
After that, he died in the hospital. Every time he said that he loves me it was like piercing a needle into my heart. He left me, and all that I'm left with are memories.
Picture of Jared and Bree.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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-this_is_her.........ð