60. Facing Reality 🧱

At a small deli restaurant, we got some really good sub sandwiches and beverages. Our conversation from there to A.B.'s uncle's house was a lot lighter. I was glad for it, because we both needed it.

When we arrived at a beautiful red brick house, A.B. looked at me. "My aunt knows we're coming, but we're surprising my uncle."

I really couldn't wait to see Mr. Dave. After getting out the car, we walked up the sidewalk together.

The front door opened before we could reach it. A petite woman smiled at us. "I'm so happy y'all are here!"

"Aunt Lyn!"

"Nephew!"

The two hugged one another.

A.B. introduced me. "Aunt Lyn, this is Jamie. She used to work at Music Bravos. Jamie, this is Marilyn, my uncle's wife."

I held out my hand. "Hi!"

She shook it. "Nice to meet you. Are you Nephew's girlfriend?"

We both said in unison, "No."

"Come on in." Marilyn walked back into the house. "He's in the back watching T.V. I was just about to cook. Are you staying for dinner?"

"No. I have to get Jamie back home."

Marilyn smiled, "Okay. Y'all go see him."

A.B. led the way down a hall. He knocked before slowly opening a door. We walked inside the room to see Mr. Dave sitting in an upright position on the bed. It broke my heart to know how he used to be compared to seeing him now.

"Who is that?" Dave asked.

"Uncle Dave. It's Jace."

"Nephew! Get over here!" I could hear the excitement in his voice.

A.B. stood on the side of the bed. "I brought somebody to see you."

I stood next to A.B.

Mr. Dave narrowed his eyes before bucking them. "Jamie!"

"Hey, Mr. Dave!" I waved at him.

"It's a blessing to see you. I watched you sing on TV. Did Nephew tell you that?"

I nodded my head, "Yes. He did."

"You sing so beautifully. You got the voice of an angel. I tell ya."

I was overwhelmed with compliments.

"If I wasn't stuck in this bed, I'd be dancing to your song, right now," he told me.

"Thank you, Mr. Dave. I'm really happy to see you doing better."

Mr. Dave said, "Oh, life is a blessing. I'm in my therapy now. I keep saying I will beat this with God's help, because I know I won't be paralyzed forever. Let me tell you both this. Don't work too hard. Take your breaks and your vacations. You only get one body. Rest is really important. If you don't get rest, your body will shut down and take over, and you don't want that. Make sure you exercise, sleep plenty, and eat right. When you constantly going, you don't think about what you're eating. You just grab what's easy and close to you. Your body needs good fuel. Take me for example. Okay? You hear me?"

A.B. and I replied, "Yes."

We stayed for almost half an hour. Then, we left. Before driving away, A.B. said, "There's a park around here. Do you mind if we go there?"

"Not at all," I answered.

Just like he said, the park was like three blocks away from his uncle's house.

He asked, "Want to get out and walk?"

I shrugged, "Why not?"

A.B. got out the car and made his way over to my side. He opened my door and helped me out. Then, he closed the door and took my hand in his. "The sidewalk goes in a complete circle. It'll take about fifteen minutes to walk it."

"This is a small park."

"It's just for the neighborhood. The playground is towards the back away from the pond." A.B. continued to hold my hand as we began to walk. "Do you plan to go to the Gala tonight?" He asked me.

"Sir, I forgot all about it. Remember?"

We both lightly laughed.

"Besides, the last time I went, I was so bored. It wasn't really my scene, regardless of there being more older people than younger people there."

A.B. simply nodded his head.

I looked around at the tall trees and the cute ducks in the pond. It was a really nice day - clear skies. Why is he so quiet?

Finally, he started, "To pick back up on the conversation we had before we ate at the restaurant. The other thing I'm getting tested with is you."

Me?

I opened my mouth to speak, but A.B. continued, "When I look at you, I want to kiss you. When we hug, I want to hold on to you forever..."

My stomach was turning flips as I smiled. Was he about to ask me to be his girlfriend?

"I want all of you, Jamie, but at the same time, that's what I struggle with."

I stopped walking and freed my hand from A.B.'s grip.

A.B. turned to face me. "You can tell me if I'm saying too much."

"You're not saying enough." I replayed his words in my head. "Why is it a struggle for you to have all of me?" I asked him.

"Because I can't give you more if you can't give me more."

I stared into his eyes. "More?"

"I am using my words carefully, because I don't want to come off too strong. We both like each other, and I know we both want to be more than friends. From our previous conversations, I've gathered that you can't be in a serious relationship, right now. As much as I understand that, it's hard to accept. When my aunt asked if you were my girlfriend, I knew I had to address this so that not only us but our friends and family don't get the wrong message."

I've never in all my days heard a guy speak so well. He really communicated what he's been thinking without being aggressive, without beating around the bush, and without using short responses. I looked to the ground as I thought to myself.

A.B. lifted my chin with his hand. "Talk to me."

"I..." Oh, my goodness. Was I about to cry? No, no, no, no, nooo! I covered my eyes with my hands. I sniffed. "Ugh, A.B.!"

He rubbed my back. "It's okay."

Once I had my tears on lockdown, I removed my hands from my face. I managed to grin. "I thought all I had to do is end the fake relationship with Zeke, but that's the easy part. I can't just end my career and come back to East Grove and be your girlfriend. Singing has been my dream since I was little." I looked towards the sky, fanning my eyes. Then, I looked at A.B. "You don't think we could make it work?"

A.B. starred at me, "I can say yes every time I look at you, but realistically, we wouldn't survive. I know what I need in a relationship, and I think you know what you need, too."

I sighed, "Why did you have to tell me this now? Why couldn't you have waited until we got back to the parking lot of the store so I can cry in my car."

A.B. chuckled, "You're not gonna cry in your car. I never said I didn't want you. This is not a rejection. I just want to bring up the reality of the situation before we lose ourselves in what could be."

I spoke, "One more question."

"Yes," A.B. said.

"Will you still come visit me and do video calls? Or does this mean if someone else comes along, you and I will remain friends and have our futures with other people?"

A.B. leaned toward me, placing his hands on my shoulders. "So not to confuse myself, I have to take some time to just focus on my life in East Grove. Just like you have to focus on your career. Then, I'll be able to look at you like a sane man."

This was feeling like a break-up. "Can I get one more thing from you?"

A.B. whispered, "Yes." Then, he came closer to my face.

I closed my eyes and soon felt his lips on mine. It was incredible. It was electric. It was like releasing all the pinned up tension in a room. I found my arms around his neck. His hands rubbed up and down my back. It no longer felt like a break-up. This was war - a fight for something bigger than we expected it to be. Eventually, we both separated from each other.

"Now, I don't want to go back home," A.B. admitted.

I cleared my throat. "That was... mmmph. Sir, I think it's best that we finish this walk without handing hands."

"Agreed."

We continued to walk as I tried to focus more on my surroundings.

"When we get back to the store, I'm gonna get the laptop for you."

"Oh, that's right!"

A.B. asked, "Would it be okay if I showed you my new apartment?"

I nervously giggled, "A.B., you don't have to ask me that. Of course I want to see your new place."

Is there a prayer about fleeing temptation? Maybe, I can see everything in his place from the front door.

"No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it," A.B. said, "First Corinthians chapter 10, verse 13."

"Thank you," I told him. "'...lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.' I know that one from The Lord's Prayer."

A.B. nodded his head, "Matthew chapter six, verse 13. That's good, Jamie."

"I know a little something-something." I smiled at him.

Once we got back to the car, A.B. opened my door. "I hope this didn't catch you off guard. I apologize for not being more clear."

"Don't worry about it. I'm glad we discussed it." I got in the passenger's seat.

"Me, too." He closed the door.

This hurt more than when I couldn't watch the exclusive interview online of three out of four B2K members talking about the group broke up. I've never tried to access content with so many failed attempts. I sighed to myself. I need to grow up.