8: Too Many Unanswered Questions

I stared into the familiar eyes of what I used to call home, my father. He was my home, someone I could go to for safety. He made everything okay for me when it wasn't. The day I lost him was the day everything went to shit... Now here he is standing before me. "D-dad is th- are you really here?" I stood up and took a step towards him. The familiar smile that would come across his features whenever he was being sincere answered my question.

"How? I waited all this time for this I-" I could barely get the words out, but it's true all this time I've been here all I could think about besides my selfish decision was being able to see my father again. I hoped it'd be like the movies, where you die and your reunited with your loved ones.. But I had come to the conclusion that because of my selfishness I was forbidden from that ever happening.. Until now.

"It's a long story for another time son" he sighed the smile still on his face and I didn't even bother to push the subject before I knew it I was wrapping my arms tightly around him. "I missed you so much dad" I let out a series of deranged sobs, it felt so good to hug someone.. To hug my dad..

[Bobby]

I returned Nialls hug with the same amount of desperation he let out on me. All these years I had watched him go through so much.. Being alone, detached from his own being. Not having the support of his mother.. How I resent her for letting this happen. I can't fully blame her but she could have tried harder.. For so long I wanted to reach out to him, the day he died all I wanted to do was go to him tell him things would be alright. Like so many countless times I had done when we both lived.

It wasn't supposed to be this way.. The night those men showed up to rob the stupid convienience store he worked in.. It wasn't supposed to end that way. Not yet at least.. But we never thought those men were so desperate for the money to pay for their addictions. That they would move their plans ahead of time. They changed the course of his fate.. Without our knowledge. Catching him at his most vulnerable state. If they would have only waited like they were supposed to.. Then he could have been saved..

"I missed you too Niall.." I finally replied pushing the thoughts of what should have been to the back of my mind. "I know you said you'd explain another time.. And I'm willing to wait just because I know that means you'll be coming to see me again.." He pulled away and I rested my hands on his shoulders after wiping the few tears that had fallen. "But I just need to know.. Where were you all this time.. I had hoped that when I-" his gaze lowered from mine, ashamed of the decision he had made that night. If only he knew.. "Lets sit.." I sighed a smile and I lead him to the bay window where I have watched him sit for the last year. His eyes stared into mine desperate for answers, "I was never far Niall.. I was always watching you.. So many times I-" the knot in my throat and the agreement I had made prevent me from going deeper into this conversation. "I've always been here I just couldn't reach you yet" I smiled to reassure him and in part I'm not lying..

I was so desperate for answers and I'm given vague explanations but I don't even have time to complain. The overwhelming happiness that I haven't felt in ages is too large. I have my father here in front of me and even though I want to probe him with questions I hold back. I'm just happy he's here with me now, but for how long?

"Are you staying?" My heart rate increased as I caught the hint of sadness in his eyes. "It's what I want most in this moment son but.." I let my head hang as I faught back the tears, I some how knew this wasn't going to last.

"Don't"

"Don't what?" I swallowed hard and looked back up to face him. The overwhelming happiness was replaced by sadness and anger. "Don't relate this to all your other failures.. This is not your fault like a lot of the other things you think were" his tone sounds menacing "how would you know" I look away again, "I told you.. I've never been far from you.. Ever" he gripped the side of my face to force me to look at him. Only adding more questions to be left unanswered..

As I set foot on campus my insides were doing back flips. Before going any further I closed my eyes took a deep breath and for a split second my mind went to Niall. The thought of him put my nerves at ease and briefly I wondered what he'd be doing today. "Gemmy!" The brunette I encountered during my trip into town begins to walk over to me, her pack of friends following close behind.. Great.. "Uh hey.." Crap I forgot her name.. She's the only person I know so far and even though I was used to being a loner at my old school I could use a guiding hand in this one.. "Hollie. Nice outfit!" she smiles trying to hide her annoyance, and examines me up and down with her gaze. I mentally slap her... At least I have some style. I wish I could have met someone I actually could relate to, she seems just like the plastics at my old school. "Right.. Hey, Hollie" I force a smile and she eyes me like a piece of meat she can sink her teeth into. Like that's gonna happen.. But ill play her little game until I find my way around here on my own.. "Give me your schedule I'll help you out today" she snatches the piece of paper from my hand before letting me have a say. "Oo! We have bio and Spanish together!" She gushes and I smile not really knowing how to respond.. She hooks her arm with mine leading me into the building her pack following behind.

***

Hollie showed me where the rest of my classes would be before going to home room, which we also share... "Hey Hollie!" Several people beam as we walk in and she unhooks her arm from mine almost posing for everyone to see.. Yeah this is not going to work with her, maybe I can find a friend here other than her. "Morning Hollie, who's this?" The older male teacher asks sending me a warm smile, "oh yeah, Mr Brooke's this is um Gemmy, she's new" Hollie calls out not only introducing me to mr Brooke's but to the whole class. I scan over the strange faces and find a few judgmental stares amongst the female population and curious stares from the males... Gross.

My eyes scan all the way to the back of the room to a pair of green eyes, as soon as our eyes meet he lowers his gaze and turns away. From his side profile I can tell it's the guy Hollie and her friends were torturing that day in town.. "C'mon Gemmy sit with us" Hollie drags me away to sit with more of her friends I assume, but I want to go sit with the green eyed boy with brown hair. He looks like more of a friend than Hollie or any of her "friends" which are the small pack of friends that usually follow her around.. except for the guy sitting with them.

"Gemmy this is Sarah, Judith, and Brandy" Hollie points to each of them, the ginger haired girl Sarah, with green eyes and freckles gives me a semi friendly and cocky smile. Judith with black hair, caramel colored skin and dark brown eyes gives me a unwelcome smile.. and Brandy the light brown haired girl and light brown eyes gives me a less confident but genuine smile.. Hmm. "Oh and this is Robin, my boyfriend" Hollie takes a seat on his lap and wraps an arm around the boys neck. His dark brown hair is short and his skin perfectly sun kissed, "Hey" I force a smile as I look at each of them. "New friend of yours?" Robin doesn't take his eyes from me as he rakes up and down my figure until I take a seat. I shift uncomfortably under his gaze, "Mm yeah" Hollie watches between Robin and I giving me a small glare. "Cute outfit" he compliments and I feel goosebumps up my arms and legs, and not in the good way. "Thanks" I try to sound as unaffected by his uncomfortable gaze and inappropriate compliment considering his girlfriend is right there.. Hollie hits him slightly and he looks up unaffected by her subtle but serious warning and kisses her.. Gross..

My eyes go back to the brown haired boy with green eyes, I stare and will him to look up at me. When he finally does he gives me a timid smile and I return it with a more confident one, just to reassure him. "So where did you move from?" Sarah asks me bringing my attention back to them, "Manhattan" I keep it short I don't want to give them my life story I don't plan on being friends with them..

I receive a "Wow" from Hollie but it sounds uninterested and I think she's bothered with me..

"That's cool" I receive in unison from the other girls. I give them a nod and tight smile as I think to myself, this is going to be a long year..

***

After getting over the uncomfortable subjects with my dad we actually end up having a laugh, up until he asked about her.. "How are things with Gemmy.." he sighed the smile still on his face from our laugh, "How do you know her name?" I ignore his question.

"I know a lot of things son" he chuckles and again it only adds to the list of unanswered questions. "Do you like her?" he catches me off guard and I start to fidget.

"No" I lie.

"Niall.." he pushes for the truth.

"Fine, yes I do.." I sigh and refuse to look him in the eye. "I knew it" he chuckles, "Shut it" I grin but it fades quickly.

"What's wrong?" he notices.

"I can't like her dad.. if you haven't noticed I'm not.. normal"

"Normal.. Hmph What's normality anyway? You have heart, and so does she.." He encourages, "It's complicated.. plus i'm sure she doesn't even like me back" I a run a hand through my hair and meet his gaze once more. "I wouldn't lose hope yet" he sighs and rests a hand on my shoulder. I stare at him as he lets go and stares out the window. What does he know? He's been giving me my puzzling answers all day..

"I won't because I don't have it." I challenge.

"You should" he looks at me.

"Why? What do you know? You don't know her.."

"I just know.." he sighs and my eyes flicker back to him just long enough to see his head hang in pity.

[Bobby]

I hate to have to keep things from my son but I can't interfere with his fate, not again although the first time wasn't my doing. I know Gemmy more than he could imagine, and I wish I could tell him his future but I can't that would everything. I have to let things take its course, when the time is right i'll be given my chance to tell him either before or after it happens..

The silence is growing unbearable and it's more aggravating than having him question me and me not being able to give him answers.

"I'm sorry.."

"It's fine.."

"Son, your just going to have to trust me.."

"Just tell me something, something I can work with, anything.." he pleas and I close my eyes looking for the right words.

***

The day has dragged on and after homeroom I was dragged around by Hollie, it isn't until now that I have some time away from her. I don't even like her, I don't like anyone.. Taking a seat in the back of the room for my last class of the day, I sit and think about how Niall is doing.. This was his old school wasn't it? I wonder if he was popular, or part of some sports team.. There is still so much that I don't know about him, about myself even. How is it possible that I can feel such a strong connection with him? How is it possible that I can even see him? So many questions that are and might forever remain unanswered.. "That's my um seat.." i'm brought out of my thoughts by the brown haired boy with green eyes. Finally I get the chance to speak to him, he seems like someone I could actually be friends with.. "Oh i'm sorry, i'll move over?" I point to the seat beside me and he looks like he's considering it. "Sure" his voice comes out unsure but I take the opportunity anyway.

He takes his seat and looks straight forward waiting for class to begin, "Your in my homeroom right?" I encourage him to talk. He merely nods, still facing forward.

"I'm Gemmy"

"Nick" he finally turns to face me but his gaze falls not being able to look me in the eyes. "Nice to meet you" I smile and hold my hand out to him, he just stares at it. "Alright class! Who's ready to dive into history?" The teacher begins and Nick goes back to facing forward leaving my outstretched limb hanging. "Ah we have a new student. Excuse me" the woman calls in my direction and I pull my attention back to her, "Please, stand. Introduce yourself sweetie." she smiles. I sigh and stand, "I'm Gemmy Ferrera" I state simply.

"Gemmy, what a lovely name. I'm Mrs. Cassidy" she smiles and as I begin to sit down again she asks, "And where did you move from?" I stop midair to stand back up, "From Manhattan.." I sigh and the class turns to stare at me, can this town really be so detached from urban civilization? "Lovely, well it's good to have you Gemmy you may sit" she goes back to writing on the board and as I sit I spot a familiar pair of eyes. Robin has a small smirk on his features as I take my seat again. He gives me a wink and turns back to face front.. Um..

After class Nick and I are the last to leave, there really is no hurry and honestly I hate to jam my way through the door with so many people. As soon as we make our way out Nick high tails it towards some double doors, "Nick" I call to him and he turns to face me. "Did you um write down the homework I um forgot" I lie, and he sighs. "No you didn't I saw you write it down.." well that wasn't so timid..

"Um I-"

"I don't know why your talking to me really, but i'd like it if you stopped trying.." His eyes harden slightly and i'm taken back I was not expecting that.. "But I- why?" I stutter and I don't even know why i'm trying so hard really.. he isn't exactly the nice guy he appeared to be. "Gemmy there you are!" I hear Hollie's familiar voice and Nick looks past me over to her, "Because your friends with her.." his lips go into a firm line and before I can answer he's running off. "What were you doing talking to him?" Hollie catches up to me and the tone in her voice is one of disgust.. "Nothing.." I refrain from telling her to piss off and turn the other way, "wait Gemmy.. we're going to get some italian ices wanna come?" she offers. "Um no thanks i'm tired.. i'd just like to go home.."

"Oh okay.. we'll give you a ride" she beams and once again she hooks her arm in mine and drags me off before I can answer.

As I wait for my fathers reply we hear a car pull up to our drive way, I watch as Gemmy hops out of the back seat with an unpleasant expression.. Her day must not have gone well, "Bye Gemmy!" a girl sticks her head out the passenger window and my heart tightens.. She looks just like her sister.. "I have to go" my dad brings me out of my memories as Gemmy begins to walk towards the house. "No dad wait" I stand after him, "I'm sorry son I have to go, i'll be back" he rests a hand on my shoulder and we hear the front door close. "I'm home" Gemmy's familiar voice echoes throughout the house and it warms my heart..

"But you didn't answer me" I panic.

"I can only tell you that-"

"Niall?" Gemmy's voice is heard from the bottom of the stairs. My dad looks in her direction and back at me. "You both need each other more than you will ever know.." he sighs and then he's gone.. Leaving me standing in the middle of the room. What? That doesn't put me at ease what does he mean? "Niall" Gemmy sounds almost relieved to see me and I turn to face her only half paying attention.. "Are you alright?" she asks standing in front of me, and as our eyes lock all the questions left unanswered and the confusion seems to fade away. "Yeh" I smile and she returns it, "How was your day I ask as she walks over to her bed and falls back on it. "Too long.." she sighs.