love for myself

17.

i can't love you

just yet

because the lack of love

for myself

keeps me up at night

and the skin on my arms raw.

i need to fill my heart

as much as i can

for myself, first,

because replacing myself

with admiration for you

is leaving it emptier

than it ever was before

and lifeless,

overflowingly grey and dead.

it is left with a sense of uncertainty

and what ifs.

i need to learn how to

independently

colour it

and once i've gotten the technique

just about right,

you'll be more than welcome

to enhance it.

🌱