26. Icing

Kitt sat alone in her room, debating about calling home. She knew she should be studying. She had a series of tests coming up in her classes, and Her notes were scattered all over her desk.

"I'm going to ignore the blanket of paper covering my desk, which stresses me out, and focus on my family, who love me." Kitt said out loud to herself.

She rustled through the papers, looking for her phone. She heard it vibrate and followed the sound to the corner of her desk. She uncovered her phone and took it outside to sit in the fresh air.

"Hello?" She picked up the call.

"Kittridge McCoy?" A strange voice asked.

"Who is calling?" She asked, her heart skipping a beat. She wished she had checked the screen before answering. Somehow, she just assumed it would be her dad. Probably because she was thinking of him.

"This is Clint Peterson of the Daily Times. Do you have a few minutes to answer some questions?" His voice was smooth and warm, yet formal.

"What is this in regards to?" Kitt heard herself ask. She never spoke like that, but she had seen plenty of movies. She didn't think saying,'What do you want?' Was appropriate.

"We have been informed that Director Thomas is under investigation at the university for breach of contract. Our sources indicate that you are working with the university to convict the director. What role are you playing in the Athletics Department? Who is spearheading the investigation? How did the suspicion of improper ethics begin? " The reporter said as Kitt listened.

"Thank you for your call. Unfortunately, I am busy at the moment. If you would like to set up a time to talk in the future,  I would be happy to answer some questions." Kitt said, unsure what else to say. She wanted to talk to Coach Ten or the lawyers before talking to a reporter. The last time she talked to a member of the press, things happened, and it happened quickly.

"I will text you my contact information and follow up with you later this week." He said, letting her know that he would be waiting.

She shivered. The thought of being the face of this scandal was not what she signed up for. She wanted her achievements to be the top of her Google search results, not the poor management skills of yet another poor rich white man.

Kitt dialed her dad's number. She needed to hear his voice.

"Heeelllo?" He picked up almost immediately.

"Dad! How are you?" Kitt felt the warm comfort of her parents' love seep into her soul. She sat on the large wooden Muskoka chair beside her patio door. The sun bathing her in light.

"Kitten! Good, we are doing so well." He sounded happy, lighter somehow.

"How is mom?" She asked.

"She is right here." He said, Kitt could hear the smile in his voice.

"Mom? How are you feeling?" Kitt was excited to talk to her mom. They had communicated through her dad, but it had been a few weeks since she had actually talked directly to her mom.

"Kitt, baby, it is so... good to... hear... your voice." The warmest voice came over the line.

Kitt could feel the tears pricking at her eyes as she heard her mom's voice. The struggle to breathe was evident in the slow speech and the sound of the oxygen machine working in the background, but her voice never changed, and the familiar comforting sound shot a pain through her chest.

"Dad told me that you have help coming in. How is that going?" Kitt gripped her phone in her lap on speaker, waiting to hear her mom's answer.

"So good... she helps... your dad a...lot. He ...went out... for... dinner with... Jim and brought ...me... back a... cheese cake... blizzard." Kitt could hear the smile in her voice. She used to love going out for cheese cake blizzards when the weather started to warm up. It had been two years since they had been able to do their springtime tradition.

"Good job, dad! Brownie points for sure!" Kitt said, smiling into the phone.

"Hey, I remember things!" Her dad joked.

Their easy love for one another was evident. They both seemed to have been able to take a breath of fresh air. Kitt could feel the relaxation on the other end of the line. Something had eased the tension they didn't even know they were feeling. Kitt silently thanked God for sending them to the hospital that day to get them the help they so obviously needed.

She talked to them both for over an hour. It was mostly her dad and her talking, but always making sure that her mom felt included but no pressure to push herself to join in.

Kitt had gone inside and grabbed a blanket to wrap around her as she enjoyed the cool air of the spring evening.

"Your mom fell asleep." Her dad said with a soft voice.

"You sound happier." Kitt said, finally.

"I didn't know how much having help would change things." He admitted.

"I'm so happy for you both." Kitt said, looking out over the back field beyond her balcony.

"We are in a good place. You can focus on finishing up your semester and tearing down the patriarchy. It's all such important work!" He said, both teasing and serious.

"I don't know that I signed up for all this." She admitted.

"But it found you because you were the right person." He said.

"I hope so." She was doubtful.

"You are so strong. You are super smart and can speak for those who maybe can't speak for themselves." He reassured her.

"But what if I mess it up?" She said out loud for the first time.

"Then you at least tried your best. You did more than anyone else. You put yourself out there." He said. His words made her feel a little better.

"I just hope this all works out." She said with a sigh.

"Remember, they already have a ton of evidence against him, so everything you do just adds to their case. And if that's true, then it is well past time for him to face the consequences of his own actions." Her dad reminded her.

"I love you, dad." She said.

"I love you too, kitten." He said back.

They hung up the call, and Kitt stayed in her chair wrapped in her big soft blanket. Talking to her dad calmed her nerves. He was her rock, and his lightness on the phone made her feel lighter as well.

She felt a weight lift off her shoulders. Hearing her mom's voice and the happiness in her dad's voice, took the guilt and shame away. She didn't know it had been weighing her down so much that when it was gone, she realized she was exhausted.

***

The puck slid past her stick, and even as she chased it, it seemed to pick up momentum. She was alone on the ice dressed in a ballgown facing a wall of dark shadows. Her opponents were in black suits of armor and were intimidatingly large. She almost felt like she was in a cartoon.

She had to get the puck. She had to score.

Her heart raced as she had to make her way around the giant pillars in armor. They tried to trip her, or distract her. The lights were dim and a spotlight shon on the goal. She fought the heavy fabric of her skirt and the restriction of her arms.

The elaborate ball gown snagged on the armor of the oppressive Knights blocking her path. She pushed on, ripping her dress, pushing herself to keep going, keep chasing.

The lace and trims were hanging down, her skirt was in tatters, and her ribbons followed behind her. She had to fight for every step, every turn and every inch to cross the ice.

The Knights continued to grab at her as she fought to get the puck. As they took turns reaching for her, pulling parts of her gown away, she regained her power.

She reached the puck with her dress in tatters, a trail of ribbons and lace, squins and beads, fabric and trim lay out behind her on the vast expance of the ice surface.

Her stick captured the puck and power shot up into her arms and through her body. The rest of the dress fell away and was replaced by her own suit of armor in pink and silver. The black Knights were no more than shadows as the light glinted off her armor making her look like she was glowing.

She could hear the murmur of voices all around her. Some were negitive, telling her she was a failure, weak and an embarrassment. She felt them shrinking her down as she skated up to the brightly lit goal.

Suddenly her mom called out.

"You're amazing Kitt! You can do this!" The clear strong voice powered her up.

"We love you!" Her teammates yelled.

"I'm so proud of you!" Her dad shouted.

With each new voice of encouragement, she stomped out one of the negative voices. The encouragement built her back up. She could feel herself growing with their support.

"You can do anything baby!" Leo's voice rang out over the din of other voices silencing them. She felt inflated, fully powerful.

She pulled her stick back as her feet stopped spraying snow over the goalie. She paused only long enough to bring her stick back down connecting smoothly with the puck. The black rubber took flight, spinning right into the top pocket.

She could feel the excitement build as she felt that she would soon be free.

"Leo belongs to me." An evil gravely voice silenced all the others. A firey red devil appeared infront of the goal stopping the puck mid-air, making it drop loudly to the ice.

Silence filled the space around her.

Suddenly she was alone with the devil. All the Knights faded into the shadows and she stood in the light staring into the hate-filled yellow eyes of a demon. He grinned as Leo came out onto the ice in his Knights uniform with out his helmet.

The demon put his hands on Leo's shoulders, but it was like he couldn't see it. He smiled and waved at her like he was happy to see her.

The devil picked him up and ripped his head clean off. He tossed his now limp body to the side and placed his head on the ice.

The demon pulled out a stick and suddenly they were at center ice. Leo's head on the ice between them. She had to score to be free, but she couldn't. How could she sacrifice Leo for her own freedom?

She looked down at his face. He looked damaged and her heart broke. She wanted to save him and fix him and protect him from the demon.

"Play." The evil voice filled her ears like it was coming from all sides. She wanted to protest but she was trapped here until she scored.

***

Kitt jolted awake. She felt like she was falling.

"Shhh, it's OK babe." Leo whispered in her ear.

"Leo!" She gasped and turned to hug him. She realized he had her in his arms. He was carrying her.

"Babe?" He said as she squeezed him tightly.

"You are here." She started to cry. The dream was fresh in her mind, the image of the devil destroying him tore her apart.

He placed her on her bed and tried to stand but she wouldn't let go.

"What happened?" He asked climbing into bed beside her.

"I had a bad dream." She said.

"Aww, babe, is everything ok?" He pulled her against his chest. He rubbed her back to comfort her.

"I don't want to talk about it, but I am so happy you are here." She snuggled into him.

"You weren't answering your phone." He said, still rubbing her back.

"I talked to my parents, then I fell asleep." She said.

"And your phone died." He chuckled a little.

"Oh I should go charge it." She started to get up.

"I got you. I put it on the charger before I got you." He pulled her back to him.

"Ok good." She said, yawning.

"Go back to sleep." He said gently.

"How do you keep getting up here?" She mumbled sleepily.

"I will tell you one day, but I like to keep a little mystery." He said with a smile on his voice.

He rubbed his thumb against her waist where his hand rested gently at her hip. She felt that small movement was comforting and she relaxed again. Her ear on his chest meant she could hear the strong rhythm of his heartbeat. It was like a lullaby and soon she was asleep again.