kataang is NOT stupid (at least according to jeongguk)

They're at Jeongguk's, watching Avatar the Last Airbender.

For the fourth time.

A semi-corny show with a deeper meaning that goes beyond the limits of a kids brain, and Jeongguk finds he enjoys it more now than he ever did then. Analyzing the characters, the relationships. Taehyung agrees.

The lights are off so the TV shines bright, nearly giving Jeongguk a headache, but not quite. This show is fucking good.

They're lazily splayed out on either side of the couch, a fuzzy blanket draped over Jeongguk's form while Taehyung's just relaxing in khaki shorts. Jeongguk totally ignores his legs, the swell of his thigh as it presses against the cushion.

He definitely doesn't ignore them. His eyes are trained on the TV but he can see it in his peripheral, tanned skin poking out of tanned fabric, and part of Jeongguk wants to reach over and touch it, but he won't, because it's taboo to reach over and poke your best friend's thigh. Depending on context. Maybe.

God, what's wrong with him.

It wasn't always like this. He used to be able to hang out with Taehyung with a clear mind, just enjoying his presence, laughing at shitty jokes, watching shittier TV shows.

But now.

Now everything feels different.

He's not sure when it started feeling different. There's a vague memory in his mind, of their faces getting too close, and Jeongguk feeling this heat in his stomach that terrified him, but he only thought it was a one time thing.

That was a month ago. It was definitely not a one time thing.

Now, he feels it even in the simplest of things, of touches, of proximity, proximity that would never bother him before. Mildly sexual jokes that used to be funny now make him scramble to hide his blush, because he's not a fourteen year old girl, and he can't have a crisis every time his best friend jokes and calls him sexy. He just can't.

But, whenever he looks at Taehyung, he feels this magnetic pull thats practically begging him to move closer, begging Taehyung to put his hands in every place Jeongguk can think of, every place that matters-

He's so fucked.

That's all he can think about. How utterly fucked he is. How bad this situation is, how bad it is that whenever Taehyung shifts in his spot Jeongguk's stomach swoops, whenever Taehyung speaks a chill runs down his spine, this indescribable feeling drowning him in the form of Taehyung's smile.

"Fuck this."

The words come from Taehyung, out of nowhere, and they ring in Jeongguk's ears, snapping him out of his thoughts and making him jump. He fucking jumps.

"Jeongguk," Taehyung says, eyes wide, tearing them away from whatever made Taehyung so angry on the TV to stare at Jeongguk, questioning, "you good?"

Jeongguk nearly bursts out laughing, because he's virtually the furthest thing imaginable from good. He's fucking riding the struggle bus right now. Front row seats.

Still, he says, "yeah, I'm fine," trying to calm down his heartbeat, and why is his heart beating so fast, "what happened?"

Taehyung raises an eyebrow. "Hmmm?" he can probably see through Jeongguk's facade, but Jeongguk's determined. He forces a smile and gestures at the TV, "why'd you say what the fuck?"

Taehyung's still unconvinced, side eyeing Jeongguk, because he knows Jeongguk, but his mouth opens in an O and he goes back to looking at the TV as well. Jeongguk's safe for now, physically at least. Mentally, he's still staring at Taehyung's hands as he picks up the remote and lowers the volume a few notches, fingers wrapping around it's length, and fuck that remote kind of looks like a-

What is he thinking? He seriously needs to calm down, and Taehyung isn't helping when he clenches his jaw, clearly thinking about the show, when Jeongguk's mind is so far elsewhere it hurts.

"Well," Taehyung begins, voice sounding annoyed, and Jeongguk looks at the TV to see the characters in a dark space, lights everywhere that resemble stars, "Katara and Aang were in that cave thing," oh right, this episode, "and then they kissed, no warning whatsoever."

Jeongguk tries to stop thinking about Taehyung, reminisces on patchy memories of the show's plotline instead, "so? You knew what was gonna happen. We've seen this show, what, five times?"

Taehyung makes this noise that is akin to a growl, and Jeongguk knows it's not that deep, not that serious, but he stops talking anyways because he could feel that growl in his soul, and it was kind of hot, "We have this discussion every single time dude. You know I don't ship Katara and Aang," his voice has this aggression that seems completely out of place, "and we've seen it four times."

Jeongguk does indeed know this, but he still doesn't understand the reasoning. Taehyung's told him multiple times, it always goes in one ear out the other. "Whatever," he pauses for a moment, watches the screen as Katara and Aang slowly make their way through the darkness, and then it flits to another character.

"But I don't get it," he can't help but add, he tried to shut up about it, he did, because it always sparks a debate, but he wants to know, and this is a good distraction from the thoughts plaguing his head, "how can you not ship them? They're endgame."

The sigh that Taehyung lets out is deafening. He takes the remote and pauses the show, and then shifts so he's facing Jeongguk on the couch. He's in for it now.

"Just because they're endgame doesn't mean they should be together."

Jeongguk has an amused expression on his face, watching Taehyung get worked up like this is prime entertainment, "it doesn't mean they shouldn't be together either. You just hate the ship because it's popular-"

"That is not true," he sounds angry, and he points a long finger in Jeongguk's face that Jeongguk tries not to think about touching him, fails, "there are a number of reasons why Katara and Zuko should've ended up together."

This is the part that mainly doesn't make sense to Jeongguk. Sure, they had a bonding moment or two but generally, they had completely different personalities, and Zuko even betrayed Katara at some point, "see, now you're saying that because it's unpopular-"

"It's not my fault it's unpopular to be right."

Jeongguk shakes his head, tiny puffs of laughter escaping his lips while he watches Taehyung slowly get even more and more into it, "you're ridiculous."

"No Jeongguk, I'm right," he puts emphasis on the word again, and moves an arm up to rest on the top of the couch, effectively leaning into his palm so his cheek smushes up against his hand. Fuck, he's so cute, even when he's being a dick. It's not helping that his eyes look especially big right now, looking at Jeongguk, and only Jeongguk.

Before he realizes it he's zoning out, and Taehyung's raising an eyebrow at him and the silence that ensued. Awkwardly Jeongguk shifts in his spot, blanket falling to the ground and black jeans revealing in it's wake, and clears his throat, says, "you already said that."

Taehyung still looks skeptical, but he ultimately moves on because his (sculpted) eyebrow falls back into it's rightful place, "that's because it's true."

"Is it now?" Jeongguk's tone lifts up at the end, trying to recover from the awkward voice crack that followed his previous statement. Why is being around Taehyung so hard? It used to be nothing but easy, and Jeongguk tries not to let what he's thinking about reflect on his face.

He begs for Taehyung to say something funny, to rant about the injustices performed by the creators of a children's show, and luckily, "it is. Do you wanna know why?"

Jeongguk hums, clicks his tongue obnoxiously, still putting up a front that he's become dangerously good at hiding behind, clouding his emotions to appreciate the sweet elation that comes with being Taehyung's best friend, the thing he's appreciating being the reason he needs to hide in the first place, "I don't know, do I? Are you gonna psychoanalyze Avatar the Last Airbender?"

Taehyung's smile is blinding, and it makes Jeongguk's own lips move up the expanse of his face but his insides are mushing together into a warm heap of unintelligible mayhem, "you know I am," then the smile turns cheeky, more of a smirk, teasing, "And I was asking, but I wasn't really asking, so prepare yourself Jeon Jeongguk."

Jeongguk's amused, but there's also that slight state of uneasiness that never seems to fade away, lingers in the back of his mind like a bad taste in his mouth. He just stays silent, partially because he doesn't trust his own voice, and partially because he wants Taehyung to continue.

And he does.

"Part of the beauty of the show as a whole is it's ability to-"

Jeongguk groans, head knocking back while effectively cutting off Taehyung's words. He hadn't meant to, because now Taehyung looks annoyed, and Jeongguk knows he feels annoyed, but the sound had been involuntary, a natural reaction to pretentiousness.

Taehyung's smile fades into a stoic expression, the same one Jeongguk's been getting hot thinking about for as long as his brain can currently remember, because he's staring at him like that, and Jeongguk knows it's mocking and all in good fun but holy shit if his stomach doesn't drop-

"Are you gonna let me talk?"

Jeongguk meets his eyes, and there's that teasing glint in them, but Jeongguk isn't thinking about that. Is instead thinking about the indent of Taehyung's cupid's bow, the ridge of his upper lip as it presses into his bottom one.

And so Jeongguk just nods dumbly. Because that's what he is. Dumb. Dumb for letting himself think this way about someone who's never going to think of him the same way. Because even when Taehyung's lips move back up into a smile, a beautiful one, stunning, Jeongguk's still staring at his lips as they curve around his teeth.

"As I was saying," he shoots Jeongguk a smirk that Jeongguk returns with a weak smile, and maybe he's not as good at putting on a front as he thought, "part of the beauty of the show is how it Misleads you."

Right, the show. They're talking about the show, not thinking about Taehyung. Jeongguk needs to think about the show, not Taehyung.

"In what way?" He asks, because Taehyung likes active listeners, as long as they're not groaning or responding negatively. Jeongguk is usually his biggest source of encouragement, but it's also usually a mixture of both. Positive and negative. Today Jeongguk can't seem to decipher the difference between the two in his own head.

"Well," Taehyung's smile is impossibly wider, and Jeongguk knows he's getting even more into it, "it starts off with four classic TV tropes. The hero, the goody two shoes, the comic relief, and the singleminded villain."

Jeongguk nods along, imagining the characters in his head. Active listening. Positive.

"But as the show progresses, the characters develop into so much more, through each other and the people they meet along the way. And I think that's part of it. The group developing as a whole, together."

Taehyung sounds so serious, and Jeongguk can tell he's genuinely passionate about this. Jeongguk loves watching Taehyung talk about something he's passionate about, the way his eyes are always focusing directly on the person he's talking to, usually Jeongguk, looking at him as if he's reading the words off Jeongguk's face.

Kind of like a fucking human teleprompter, but in a more poetic and endearing way. In a more Taehyung and Jeongguk way.

"And I'll give you this. They begin as just that, the classic TV characters you've seen executed in many not-so-different ways over time, and that includes the pairing of the goody two shoes character and the hero character. In this situation, Katara and Aang. I'd say in the first episode or two, they seemed like a relatively good match."

Jeongguk frowns at this but doesn't say anything, just keeps listening and tries to avoid showing that most of this is flying over his head. Just certain words. He gets the overall point. All he knows is Taehyung's doing these cute hand motions, and Jeongguk's the idiot who won't stop staring at them. Equal parts the hands, and the motions following them.

"I'm just saying, it doesn't last long. Most of the growth in both Katara and Aang's characters comes from those around them, not each other. I could probably count the number of times they've directly influenced each other, which would be a lot, but that goes for any of the main characters. If you want to chalk it up to statistics, Katara and Aang have about the same relationship with each other that Aang and Sokkha do."

Jeongguk has to intervene, "woah, woah, woah, that's not true at all. I get your point, but Katara and Aang have an entirely different character dynamic than-"

"See, but Jeongguk, that's the thing. I meant statistically," he corrects him, but it doesn't make Jeongguk feel dumb like it would when someone else does it. The way Taehyung does it is so gentle, as if he's just explaining a different approach, not telling Jeongguk he's wrong.

The only reason Jeongguk feels dumb is the way his eyes linger on Taehyung's eyelashes when he closes his eyes momentarily in thought. The way he hangs off his every word, as if his opinion is his own, which he knows is bad. It's not good to base your opinion off someone elses', and Jeongguk knows this, but Taehyung's also making a lot of sense right now and maybe Katara and Aang are only cute on paper.

"Emotionally, sure. Katara and Aang have a connection. But, they only display it when it's convenient to move the plot along, and it never deeply effects one or the other. They spend most of the show acting like family, the creators throwing in a out of place kiss here and there. And that's the issue. You can't have a show with years of familial development and then suddenly throw in romance. That's not how it works."

Jeongguk feels this weird knot in his stomach at those words, but he's not sure why. They're talking about a show, and Taehyung still has that look in his eyes, the one that says he's not quite finished.

"There's even a scene towards the end of the show when Aang kisses Katara and she asks him to respect their friendship. Their whole relationship is forced upon the show by the classic guideline that the main characters must be together, because in reality, Aang is just a kid with a crush on a girl who's a bit older than him, solely because she's there."

Jeongguk bites his lip, capturing the dry skin inbetween his teeth. Immediately pulls out a tiny soda flavored chapstick to smooth over the spot, smooth over his lips in general. Wishes there was metaphorical chapstick to smooth over his heart.

"And it's dissapointing in that aspect. A show that misleads you by taking these classic character types and turning them into entirely different people that defy stereotypes, you'd think that they'd take the opportunity to defy stereotypes with the lead relationship as well. But, they play right into the narrative that the main boy has to be with the good girl who stuck by his side the whole time."

He's silent for a moment, just thinking about what Taehyung said, about the characters, and sort of about himself. He shouldn't be thinking about himself, because they're talking about a show, but there's this lingering paranoia.

"But," Jeongguk starts, and his voice is high pitched and sounds whiny so he lowers it a bit on the next word, "don't you think that all those years as best friends would've made them a better couple? That some of the familial love could've been forced on top of an underlying feeling, and that's why Katara rejected him at first? Because she couldn't decipher between the two?"

Taehyung's thinking now, and he does that thing he does with his upper lip and eyebrows when he's impressed, scrunches them a bit and turns his head to the left, and Jeongguk feels this ugly beautiful unnecessary pride swell in his chest.

"That's one way of looking at it. But I disagree. I think they were amazing as best friends, the kind of dynamic where Katara helps Aang improve his moral character and maturity- but that's exactly what they should've stayed as. Best friends."

Jeongguk's heart sinks.

The words weren't meant for him. He knows this.

But he feels them.

He feels them on his face, this numbing sensation while he desperately tries to keep a smile up. Why did that make his chest hurt so bad? Why did it make him hurt at all? Sure he's attracted to Taehyung, he'd gathered that, but something as simple as that shouldn't have made him hurt. Made him feel hollow.

And his mind is screaming at him that they're talking about TV show characters, and Taehyung's just being extra and going deep into it, but he felt like the implications applied to him. Singled him out. That because him and Taehyung have known each other for 10 years, there's too much friendship there and not enough development. Not enough buildup.

He gapes for a moment, staring at Taehyung and trying to avoid looking as hurt as he feels, and he guesses he succeeds because Taehyung just keeps going, "now, Katara and Zuko on the other hand, could work. They challenge each other, but also bring out the best in each other."

Jeongguk feels like he might cry, which only makes it worse, because if he cries right now he's a fucking loser. It's a show. But the words hit way too close to home for comfort, smack him across the face and bring him out of any sort of denial he had previously been in.

Because there's only one reason this hurts.

"Katara makes Zuko channel his good side, and Zuko her angry side, which could be a bad thing in retrospect but for Katara, it's good. She focuses too much on taking the moral high ground, on being just good in general, so when she blows up at Zuko it's good for her to show emotion in that way."

He's talking. Jeongguk isn't listening.

Because Jeon Jeongguk has a crush on his best friend.

Probably more than that. The word crush is primitive, meant for someone who makes you feel bubbly and happy.

Taehyung makes Jeongguk feel happy and bubbly, but he also makes him feel the other things. Sadness, anger, sometimes jealousy. Sometimes makes him feel more stupid than anyone else does, but it's never on purpose. Other times makes him curl over with laughter until his lungs are rising and falling like ocean waves, uncontrolled and reckless.

That's how Jeongguk feels. Reckless.

Because Taehyung keeps talking, about Katara and Zuko, about Avatar, but Jeongguk can't hear him, and just nods along blankly, because Jeongguk feels more than he's ever felt for anyone before for the man in front of him, the boy, and it took him 10 long years to realize it, and 10 long years later it may be too late.

If that conversation was any indicator, it is too late.

Has been for awhile.

So when Taehyung finishes off his grand argument with one of those blinding smiles, one of the ones that would make an involuntary one rise on Jeongguk's own face, Jeongguk just nods weakly and mutters out an, "I see your point."

He totally saw his point, just not the one he had been trying to make. If anything, he completely missed the point he had been trying to make, because he wasn't listening to a single word out of Taehyung's mouth about Katara and Zuko.

Couldn't hear them over the voices in his head drowning Taehyung out, except the voices were Taehyung, screaming, "better off as bestfriends." Like some fucked up mantra that couldn't leave Jeongguk alone, let him breathe.

And when they're back watching Avatar again, he wants to turn it off. Wants to punch Aang for being naive and stupid, for falling for Katara.

Wants to punch himself for falling for Taehyung.

"Sometimes life is like a dark tunnel."

He feels it. The dark tunnel.

And he's inside of one right now.

-

lol if u don't watch the show this chapter low-key filler so like summary: two characters on a tv show r best friends for awhile and then get together at the end but it makes taehyung wanna riot becos he feels like they r better off as friends but jeongguk ships them and taehyung is like lol no and then jeongguk connects it to their friendship and takes it literally and is basically like o no unrequited love holy shit k thanks ily <3