the sky is NOT stupid

It's beautiful.

Jeongguk's not sure where they are. They aren't even there yet, still biking, Taehyung getting more and more worn out as the time goes by. This bike ride took longer than the one to the gas station. He's tired.

His breathing fills the air, and the air is silent, still, because for the past twenty minutes, Jeongguk hasn't felt like talking. Just enjoying, just feeling just. Just being there.

The moon is so big. He noticed it before, but not quite to this extent. He could see it earlier, but he can really see it now, a ring of light, and it's full. It lights up his face, Taehyung's, the path they're riding along, the blades of grass along the sides.

The moon, the stars, Taehyung. It all coexists, melds into a collective whole, melds into beauty.

The breeze is on his face again, and the ginger ale soaks through his shirt and he should feel gross, because it's starting to dry and it's sticky, but he just feels free, he just feels nice as he clings to Taehyung. That's the perfect word to describe how he feels. Everything is great, but it's calm, so it's nice.

He can feel Taehyung's back muscles move through his shirt as he steers left and right, winding down a gravel path as trees obscure Jeongguk's vision. Make him stare up at the reds and the yellows because it's autumn, because it's getting cold outside.

There's a path below him, and there's one above him, a streak of sky that the trees don't block, and he can see Taehyung in it. He's not sure when, maybe it was months ago, maybe years, maybe it only just happened tonight, but he's wholy convinced himself that Taehyung is the stars. They are him.

He feels content. The air leaves his lungs easily, he breathes easily, with his front pressed to Taehyung, arms curled around his body in a comforting way. Comforting for both of them.

His nose tickles, like fresh cut grass, like the air, like ginger ale, like Taehyung.

He wants to say something, wants to ask if they're close, if they'll get there anytime soon, but he doesn't want to disrupt the quiet, the peace.

And then they do. Get there.

The trees open up into something more, into an inky black that spreads all throughout Jeongguk's vision, coats his eyelids, his irises or whatever the fuck you want to call it, because it's all he can see. The sky.

It's everywhere, enveloping, and Jeongguk's in awe, because now he can see all of the stars, the entire galaxy laid out before his eyes, displayed in front of him. Because now he can see all of Taehyung, every part of him, and he wonders how Taehyung found this place, how long he's known about it.

Green falls under the black, under the sky, and trees line the edges of rolling hills, hills that look like they stretch for miles when really they don't, just give off an illusion of grandeur.

The pedaling slows, and so does the bike, and suddenly Jeongguk feels like everything is slow, like he's moving in time with the way Taehyung pedals, until he stops pedaling and Jeongguk stops too.

Taehyung immediately swings a leg off the bike and Jeongguk scrambles to follow, the bike falling onto the grass with a dull thud. They're towards the middle of the huge clearing, of the ring of trees, and above him is the universe, standing next to him is the universe as well, just another variation of it. His universe.

Taehyung walks a bit, head tilted up, and it's still silent until Taehyung groans and collapses onto the ground, limbs finally giving out. "Fuck."

He's splayed out like a starfish, soft hair spread out in a ring around his head, a ring like the light around the moon, the same moon that makes the black sky a little less black illuminating his face, making him a star in himself. In Jeongguk.

"Tired?" Jeongguk teases, and walks over to sit down next to Taehyung, kneels curling up so he can rest his head on them, arms enveloping them and pressing them closer to his ginger ale soaked shirt.

Taehyung laughs, the sound punched out of his chest as he rolls his head to the side to look at Jeongguk. Jeongguk who's looking at the stars, one way or another.

"You have no idea," the laughter in his voice trails off as he stares at Jeongguk, and Jeongguk wonders how he looks to him, if he looks like a star. Like something else maybe.

There's a small silence as Jeongguk just looks up, at the beautiful thing hanging over his head, because he really feels like he can see all of space here, like he could point out which star is Jupiter, which belongs to another galaxy. Wonders what galaxy Taehyung belongs to. If he belongs to a galaxy at all.

"It's beautiful," Jeongguk whispers, voice blending with the wind, with the sounds the wind makes as it filters through the grass. He can't decide whether to look at the stars in the sky or the stars in Taehyung, and when he finally looks down, Taehyung's staring right back at him.

"It really is," his voice is quiet, and Jeongguk's chest burns because Taehyung wasn't looking at the sky when he said that. Wasn't looking up, wasn't looking at the trees, at the hills, everything Jeongguk found such beauty in. He was looking at Jeongguk himself, making him feel small, and vulnerable, but that's okay. Taehyung feels small and vulnerable too.

Jeongguk thinks. About how nice this is. About the way he feels. About his heart. About how beautiful all of this is, about how he wishes he had seen it earlier, "How did you find this place." Another question said like a statement, said absentmindedly as Jeongguk thinks more, about stars, about the one laying on the ground next to him that outshines the rest.

A sigh escapes Taehyungs mouth. There's a long pause. Too long, and Jeongguk's about to say something else, maybe retract his statement, maybe tell him it's okay, he doesn't have to share, when a voice softer than the grass below him comes from his left side.

"My mom used to take me here."

Jeongguk looks at him. His brain whirs, because that makes an unprecedented amount of sense. Why he'd never showed it to Jeongguk. Why he's practically melting into the grass, becoming a puddle of nothingness, just existing.

He's not all that sure what to say. Words of comfort, words of gratefulness, grateful to Taehyung for making him feel better, for being there, for trusting him enough to show him this place, or if that'd just make it worse.

Because Jeongguk was there when Taehyung's mom died. Because Jeongguk sees him.

So instead, he just says again, "it's beautiful."

Taehyung hums his agreement, feeling content, remembering, just feeling nice in general because there's the faint sound of crickets, cicadas, just nature in general, and the even fainter sound of the rise and fall of Jeongguk's chest.

"She'd be proud of you," he says it, and Taehyung looks at him with this look in his eyes, a look that says thank you, a look that says, would she?

"You know that right?" Jeongguk says when Taehyung is still quiet, when he still just stares, and starts gripping his fingers into the grass. A bad habit.

They're looking, and Jeongguk's waiting, until Taehyung just gives a small smile, small but genuine, and he nods. Agreeing. And this weight leaves Jeongguk's chest, and the stars seem to shine a tad bit brighter than before. Taehyung shines brighter.

Another pause. While they both think.

"Do you remember when we first met?"

It catches Jeongguk off guard. He's not sure where the question originated, why Taehyung thinks of it, until he notices.

Dandelions.

There's one inbetween Taehyung's finger tips and he twirls it back and forth, thinking, and Jeongguk thinks too as he looks down at the grass, at the dandelions, and grabs one himself.

"Like it was yesterday," Jeongguk answers, voice soft, nearly silent but the world around them is nearly silent too so it carries, carries into Taehyung's head, through his heart and up his spine in the form of warmth.

And he does. Remember like it was yesterday. He's thinking about it, about two young boys in the middle of a field, about how it parallels to right now, when Taehyung voices his thoughts.

"You walked up to me," he begins, staring at the yellow thing between his fingers, dainty, small, but the vibrant colors make up for it's size, the way it looks to Jeongguk as it spins, "me, a dumb kid, grabbing dirt and ripping flowers from the ground with my fingers, just for the hell of it."

Jeongguk laughs, light, the sound filling the air, filling Taehyung.

"And you."

He stops twirling, stops talking, just looks at Jeongguk, and Jeongguk's smile fades, laughter dissipates. Is replaced by a blank face, parted lips, eyes wide and caught up, body a whirlwind. Mind the same.

"You walked up to me and said, stop, don't kill the flowers. They're just as alive as you are," He lets out a chuckle fondly, as if it was happening at this very moment, Jeongguk chiding him about plants, "and, do you remember what else you said?"

Jeongguk shakes his head. "Not exactly."

"Well I do." Taehyung is sitting up now, leaning forward, legs still stretched out but face coming closer to Jeongguk's by the second, and, "you said, you wouldn't like it if someone ripped you from the ground, would you?"

Jeongguk feels embarrassed, even if he said it when he was eight, even if it was forever ago, he feels embarrassment, until Taehyung's hand is brushing along the side of his face, combing his hair out of the way so Jeongguk's eyes and sharp eyebrows are staring back at him.

And then carefully, he takes the dandelion, and places it behind Jeongguk's ear, this half smile curving up his face as he looks at Jeongguk with the flower in his hair.

And Jeongguk can't think, can't process enough to even feel embarrassed anymore.

"And as bad of an analogy as that was," he whispers, air thick, "it stuck with me."

Then he lays back down, hands retracting, and Jeongguk can think again, and god there's so much to think about. About how afterwards eight year old Taehyung had just stared up at Jeongguk with wide eyes, before carefully handing him a dandelion, caked with dirt but still beautiful nonetheless. About how long Jeongguk kept the dandelion, sitting on his dresser until it withered away into nothing, into broken petals and a lifeless stem. About how in his mind, it never withered at all.

"Evidently," Jeongguk says, joking, looking at Taehyung's fingers that are caked with dirt. His hands.

"You're feeling better, right?"

The question comes out of nowhere, brings Jeongguk out of this hazy headspace where he's just remembering. Looking at dandelions. He looks over at Taehyung who's already staring at him, and inhales, caught of guard.

"Yeah. I told you earlier-"

"Jeongguk."

There he is. Saying his name that way again. The way that makes him feel delicate, the way the word rolls off Taehyung's tongue, soft but alerting, cutting through Jeongguk's mind and grabbing his attention entirely.

And he just stares. He stares at Taehyung, and the wrongness from before flashes through his head.

"Look," Taehyung starts, and then he sits back up again, bracing himself on his palms, leaning back, "I don't want to make you more upset." This time he's further away from Jeongguk, so Jeongguk can, breathe, can think, but he's not sure what to, "and I respect your privacy and your feelings so if you don't want to talk about it thats okay. But,"

But.

"Earlier, you told me you felt okay, and I believe you, because tonight's been amazing, but before,"

He pauses, and Jeongguk's brain is moving at light speed, taking in Taehyung's words as they leave his mouth, and now Taehyung's speech is careful, calculated, much like Jeongguk's was earlier, in the isle of a gas station, but in a different way.

"Before we left, before, when we were in the bathroom and you looked at me. And that look on your face, the one in your eyes, the way I watched you just," he stops again, searching for a word, "deflate."

Jeongguk's heart deflates.

"I felt what you felt."

Before Jeongguk can speak, can come to a conclusion, Taehyung fixes himself, nearly stumbles over his words.

"And I know that sounds like bullshit," Jeongguk's thoughts from before exactly, but his perspective is different now, changed, "because that's virtually impossible. To feel what someone else feels. I mean, shit," he runs a hand through his hair, a habit he has when he feels nervous. Jeongguk's stayed silent, but he has a sudden urge to giggle fondly, the same urge making him want to reach forward and run a hand through his hair himself, "I don't even know why you were upset."

Jeongguk freezes.

"But I felt it. Somehow. Some variation of it, maybe just a fraction. But even just that, that was enough."

And he looks at Taehyung. And Taehyung's eyes are overflowing with emotion. With truth.

"And I can't stop thinking about it. About you. About how you must've felt, and about why you felt the way you did. And Jeongguk,"

He knows.

"My heart hurts."

Jeongguk knows because his does too. Because he's seen Taehyung cry before, and he knows.

He knows because he sees Taehyung now. Sees his face, his hands, his heart, and his hands are shaking, and before Jeongguk even notices, his are too.

His thoughts collect, and he knows. That he can trust Taehyung. That the words about to come out of his mouth are long overdue. Words about wrongness, about rightness, about feelings, feelings that have been building for years. Years.

"Mina."

The word leaves his mouth along with a drawn out exhale, along with tension. Pent up emotions.

"I'm not sure what happened," he's not sure how to say what he feels, opts for settling with whatever words pour out of his mouth, "but three weeks ago, everything with Mina felt right. I liked her a lot. Maybe would've dated her even."

Taehyung sucks in a breath, because Jeongguk hasn't dated someone since sophomore year, and even then it didn't last long. Jeongguk can tell he wants to say something, ask if it was really that serious, why he never mentioned anything, but instead he just says, "Liked?"

Again. Emphasis on the past tense.

Jeongguk nods, continues.

"Yeah. Because for the past few weeks, somethings just felt off. Like with me. With the world."

He purposefully avoids mentioning that day in his dorm, when Taehyung planted seeds of doubt he hadn't even been aware of. He didn't want to be transparent quite yet. Wasn't sure if he was ready to be completely honest with Taehyung, or completely honest with himself.

Taehyung's hands clasp together while he stares at Jeongguk, practically begging him to go on, continue. He attempts to stop the shaking but they still tremble, but Jeongguk thinks that's okay. Sometimes it's okay to be scared. Rightful too.

"And I know why in my heart, but it's like my head didn't want to accept it. Like I was too scared too. So earlier, tonight,"

He's not sure how to put his thoughts into words. Tries anyways. Taehyung's always been an understanding person, getting Jeongguk in ways Jeongguk's not even sure he gets himself. He'll understand.

So Jeongguk stops worrying. Stops shaking.

Just speaks.

"I showed up, and I was determined to keep my mind off it. Off of,"

He almost says it. You.

"Everything," he substitutes instead. He knows something's changed between him and Taehyung, it's in the air, in the way they breath, in the way they touch, in the way they've communicated. Yet still. It's scary, just to come right out and say it. I like you, maybe even love, and I know we've been friends for ten years bordering on eleven, and I'm just so scared to fuck it up, but-

"So I drank, a lot. Too much probably, which was super stupid because I'm usually not the type of person to test my limits or anything, and you know that."

But I can't ignore it anymore. I've ignored it too long.

"And then I'm there, and Mina is too, and I'm really fucked up Taehyung," his voice breaks, and he looks away, down at the grass, at the dandelions, "and she's so close to me and her hands are everywhere, and she's everywhere, and yet."

He's trying to avoid saying the words, trying to find some workaround, some ambiguity, like how the trees from earlier blocked the stars, but the thing is, it's different now. Everything is open. There's no trees, only sky, and maybe Jeongguk should be open too.

"I can't stop thinking about this one thing," ambiguities, "and then suddenly, everything else just felt so wrong."

He pauses. Collects his thoughts and thinks of what to say, how to say it, how to-

"And so then I'm just there. Existing while Mina kisses me, but I don't feel like I'm there mentally, you know?" Taehyung nods. "Then I snap out of it and I just feel,"

He grapples for the right word, settles on, "disgusting."

Taehyung's facial expression doesn't change. He's still just staring at Jeongguk, brown eyes trained on his face, pink lips slightly parted at the revelation, but he still just waits for Jeongguk to continue.

"Then the alcohol is like a rock in my stomach, and suddenly it's rising and I," he grimaces at the memory, "shoved her off me. Which I feel bad about, but she couldn't hear me over the music and I," thinks, "I needed to go."

"And now I'm in the bathroom throwing up, and I just feel like the epitome of rock bottom. Utter shit. And suddenly you're there, and I feel terrible, but you're looking at me like I'm anything but. And my brain is on overdrive and it won't stop thinking about this one thing, and it feels so right but everything else feels wrong. Like the world as a whole. Like me."

Jeongguk's not sure if he's making sense, but Taehyung seems to be understanding him just fine, just staring with concern written on his features, but it's faint. Because he's paying attention. Because he's listening.

"And then I'm realizing, that I've been focusing on this one thing for way longer than I thought I had. That I just refused to notice it before, and I felt so-"

"What thing?"

It's the first time Taehyung's interrupted him so far, but Jeongguk doesn't really mind. Sometimes you need to be interrupted, need to stop a train of thought before it spirals downwards and drags you with it.

Jeongguk thinks, again. He thinks, and it's only for a short period of time that he's silent, only for a short period of time that the grass sways and the wind blows in his ears, and Taehyung watches him.

"You."

It's like the gravity holding him to the earth intensifies tenfold, as the word leaves his mouth, the revelation, and his entire body is sinking, sinking into the plush grass below, sinking into Taehyung. Into Taehyungs hands. Into his eyes, his mouth.

And the stars flicker, and Taehyung looks at him with wide eyes, and Jeongguk wonders if he's sinking too. Figures it out when he does look at Taehyung's hands, sees that they've stopped shaking, and are still. Everything's still.

It's silent, and Jeongguk isn't finished, hasn't completed his thoughts, so he goes on.

"Taehyung, I can't stop thinking about you."

Bravery. A tricky concept, but Jeongguk's thinks he's got it down right now.

"And when Mina was kissing me, I wished it was you. Kissing me. And you've made me feel so much better tonight, better in a way that no one else ever could, but that's also because you're the reason I felt bad in the first place."

He doesn't have to wonder if Taehyung's sinking, because his facial expression falls, and Jeongguk fills guilt creep up his spine but only a trace amount because he's not finished yet.

"But it wasn't your fault. It was mine, because it took me so long. To notice." The words are pouring out now, and Jeongguk thinks, this is it. Now or never you could say, and Jeongguk is slowly rising up, coming back to earth, "Notice the way I feel when you smile at me. How I feel when you're nice, how I feel when you're the opposite, how I feel when you make me laugh."

Taehyung's just blinking, and all he can feel is his heart, pumping so violently it's a wonder Jeongguk can't see it protruding from his chest, but it feels like Jeongguk can. See his heart. Like Jeongguk's been looking at Taehyung's heart for ten years, but is just now taking a look inside. Opening it up with his bare hands.

"How I feel when your fingers brush mine. When your hands touch my hair, when you lean in a bit too close for comfort, yet it's the most comforting thing I can imagine."

A pause.

"When I think of happiness, and I think of you."

Taehyung breathes out, and it says a million words, because he just sounds so wrecked, and he's not sure he can stay silent for any longer, even though he wants to listen to Jeongguk, he wants to-

"And I just felt so fucking stupid."

Taehyung's sinking now, but in a different way, a way that skips the formalities and violently rips his heart apart, tears it in half, a terrible feeling thats a huge contrast to the words from before, the words that were gentle and made him feel happy. Beautiful.

"Stupid for feeling this way. Because, we've been best friends for a long time. As long as I can remember, or at least as long as I want to remember. And now I'm fucking it up because that's what I do, I fuck things up, and-"

"Jeongguk."

Jeongguk stops talking, and he feels the tears on his face. He wasn't sure when he started crying, or if this would even classify as crying, more of just emotions overflowing, and he looks at Taehyung and he realizes.

He realizes, he just said everything he promised himself he'd never say. He just potentially ruined the best thing that ever happened to him, the only good thing he has, and if he felt stupid before, he feels beyond idiotic now, until, "Come here."

What.

Jeongguk isn't sure if he says it out loud or not, if he voices his confusion properly or just thinks it, but when he meets Taehyung's eyes, and he sees the look in them, and the words ring in his head. Come here.

He does. Go there. It's this awkward butt scoot across the grass, and Taehyung opening his legs wide so Jeongguk can fit between them, and Taehyung reaching out with both hands to grab Jeongguk's face.

It's their breathing. Taehyung's hands. His eyes. Jeongguk's too, because Jeongguk's not crying anymore.

They're just silent for a moment, just breathing, incredibly close, and then Taehyung starts, "did you know, that freshman year, what I kept trying to tell you about, is actually number two on the list."

Jeongguk shakes his head, while Taehyung speaks, the words touching his skin, his heart. "Why?" He asks, voice faint, because he thinks freshman year sucked, this memory specifically wasn't very pleasant.

"Because this guy," Taehyung's holding Jeongguk, staring at him, like he's the last thing on earth, "he walks up to me, and he says my hair looks like a bad rug." He laughs a little bit, and a rush of air hits Jeongguk's face, tickling his cheek, and Jeongguk laughs too.

"And, it's actually stupid. It's a stupid insult, that's kind of sort of funny if I really think about it. But I got angry, because I was going through a lot, and I was stupid too. I mean," his voice breaks a little, and Jeongguk knows whats coming, "it was around the time of my mom."

Jeongguk starts to shake his head, a small noise of protest leaving his throat, "no Taehyung, you don't have to-"

"But I want to. It's painful, yeah, but I want to tell you what I've been thinking all this time. You need to know. Deserve to."

Jeongguk's silent then, and he lets him continue. Because he knows talking about his mom hurts Taehyung, cuts him deep, but maybe it's okay right now, because Jeongguk feels cut deep too.

"It was then. And I was so angry, inside and outside, everywhere, and I was dumb and so was the guy insulting me. And I let that anger get to me."

A bad habit. But everyone has habits, and Taehyung's gotten better with his over the years.

"But just as I'm about to get up and punch this motherfucker square in the jaw, just as I'm about to let that anger consume me, you grab me."

Jeongguk remembers, and he can see it now, in the way Taehyung grabbed him just now. In the way his palms are warm against his face, warm against the dried tears.

"You grab me, and you say, Taehyung. Your hair looks great, I think so and you do too, so why does his opinion matter? He's not worth your time. The only person's opinion worth stressing over, is your own. So how do you feel about your haircut?"

Jeongguk's lips part, and he watches Taehyung's as words flow out, as the words punch him in the gut.

"And that's when I realized."

Breathe, Jeongguk.

"That Jeon Jeongguk, you're the smartest person I've ever met."

He can't. Because how is it that Taehyung always knows what to say? Because how is it that Taehyung can go from making him sink into the earth, into the core, bathing in the warmth, to floating in the air, above the clouds, basked in light. In warmth too, but a different kind of warmth.

"And that's why three days ago, when we were in chemistry class, when we spilled those chemicals everywhere. When you told me about what Mark said, about how it made you feel."

In love.

"It made me so angry. Because you're brilliant. Because he couldn't be more wrong if he tried."

Jeongguk isn't thinking, just listening, and he feels weightless, this close to Taehyung, the words leaving Taehyung's mouth and pouring straight into Jeongguk's own.

"And if I'm totally honest, the more I think about it, it wasn't even freshman year. Maybe that's when I first felt the feeling, that burning in my chest, screaming, this boy knows more than I could ever hope to. But that's not when I first noticed you were smart."

And Jeongguk remembers the dandelion in his hair when Taehyung takes a moment to stop staring into his eyes and look at the flower instead, a faint smile growing.

"Because that was the day we met. When you told me that thing, about the flowers. It was two days later too, when you came up to me in class and said you were sorry. Sorry for telling me what to do, and that you were stupid for caring so much about flowers and you hoped I could forgive you."

Jeongguk hadn't remembered that. Wonders how Taehyung did.

"Because Jeongguk, what you said to me that day made more sense to me than anything anyone else had ever said before."

He can feel it.

"Because you, you remind me of a flower, and if someone ever ripped you out of the ground, the world would collapse in on itself."

Taehyung's heart.

"And every time you call yourself stupid, I want to cry in frustration. Because you're so far the opposite," he brings Jeongguk a tad closer now, and Taehyung's eyes are sad, tears slowly pooling while he brushes a thumb over Jeongguk's cheek, "that it hurts."

Jeongguk stares back at him, this breathless expression on his face, while his body settles into Taehyung's legs going lax and hooking over the top of Taehyung's own, so he's practically in his lap.

"And I haven't been able to stop thinking about you either. From four months ago, on the anniversary of," he shakes in a breath, and why is breathing so hard for them tonight, so effortless at the same time, "of her death. When I was breaking, and you were there, and you just. Built me back up. Taught me how to build myself up."

Jeongguk remembers that night, and he can't believe Taehyung's been thinking about him this way since then, since what feels like forever ago.

"And I know we've been best friends for so long, and there's so much history there and it's hard. Hard to navigate that, to approach it in the right way."

Jeongguk nods, because he's right, and there's so many words on the tip of Jeongguk's tongue, but they don't even matter right now. They're unimportant, insignificant.

"But I can't just ignore this anymore. I've ignored it for awhile now, and it gets harder and harder everyday, not to say what I'm thinking whenever I see you smile. Not to touch you when I catch you staring at my hands. Not to grab you and kiss you whenever you look at me with that look on your face, the one that makes me feel loved."

Jeongguk should feel embarrassed, but he doesn't, he just feels Taehyung, Taehyung who's hands tighten on his face, who brings him even closer.

"So you're not stupid. And I don't think I am either. Because Jeongguk, this, us, isn't stupid. It's-"

"Right." Jeongguk finally speaks, and it's just the one word, but it carries everything he's been thinking, because Jeongguk already poured his heart out. That was Taehyung's turn, and Jeongguk drunk in every word, felt them absorb into his being along with the palms pressed to his face.

"Exactly." Taehyung breathes out, and it's hot against Jeongguk, and Jeongguk feels nice, feels light, but he also feels hot, like the comparing him to the earth's core wouldn't be far fetched, would instead be accurate above all.

He sees his gaze flit to his lips, and-

"Taehyung, I-"

"Can I kiss you?"

Jeongguk forgets what he was going to say, and there's a small silence, a beat, while Jeongguk just looks at him, but it's small. It's small, because the moment the words register, the moment he understands, he's leaning forward.

It's a process, this slow thing. While Jeongguk moves so he can sit up, so his neck is parallel to Taehyung's face. Moves so he has one knee on either side of Taehyung, hips slotted together, and now he's really sitting in his lap.

It's Taehyung's hands moving, one remaining on his face but moving down to cup his jaw, to swipe a thumb over his bottom lip, to press lightly onto it and watch how the color drains, only to come back when he releases it. The other hand trailing down the side of his neck, his body, staying firm on Jeongguk's waist, feeling.

And then Jeongguk throws his arms around Taehyung's neck, a hand threading into the hair at his nape and the other finding purchase on a shoulder, until Jeongguk's pulling on Taehyung and Taehyung's pulling on Jeongguk, and they're kissing.

It takes a moment. At first it's closed mouthed, Jeongguk's lips feeling themselves on Taehyung's, just barely touching. His mouth parts slightly when he breathes in deep, and leans in a bit harder, to kiss him a bit deeper, Taehyung's lips soft against his own.

It's like this for a second, and then Jeongguk makes this involuntary noise, an impatient whine that tears its way up his throat, because he's been waiting for this. For awhile now, everything's been leading up to this, and he wants more, wants it now.

And Taehyung gives him more.

It feels like the stars, like Jeongguk's swimming in them, drowning, like he's being consumed by heat, by fire, and all those things you hear about in movies but more. It's so much more, because ten years of buildup, because he's kissing him, and it feels so right that it washes away the wrongness from before, completely erases it's impact and leaves dandelions in it's wake.

The hand on his jaw suddenly leaves and then it's in his hair, and then the mouth against his opens and he makes another noise, this one because he's surprised, because now they're really kissing, lips moving not quite in sync because there's a first time for everything, but moving slowly, deep nonetheless.

Jeongguk's been growing his hair out for awhile now, the locks curling inbetween Taehyung's fingers, so when the hand in his hair grips tight and tugs him closer, Jeongguk can feel it.

The warmth that he's felt all night, except now it's hot, burns into his mouth and his legs as they touch Taehyung, and his body as Taehyung's hand moves downwards, slowly, until he's feeling up Jeongguk's abdomen, touch defined though the thin shirt.

Their breaths are hot against each other's faces as they kiss, deeply, and now it's open mouthed, now it's sort of wet but still gentle, because they're finally kissing. Because Taehyung's hands smooth over every inch of his body, touching up his back, the nape of his neck, gripping.

It's sweet, and it takes like sugar, like ginger ale and lifesavers and gatorade, and Taehyung smells like wood and sea salt and guava and ginger ale and Jeongguk inhales deeply through his nose, his mouth fused to Taehyung's permanently, like there is no Jeongguk. Only Jeongguk and Taehyung, two halves of a whole.

Jeongguk tilts his head to one side so he can kiss him harder, less sweet, because all he wants is to be closer to Taehyung, despite their current closeness. It's not enough. He runs his fingers through his hair, mussing up the strands, and it's not enough, so he pulls him closer, so their lips connect impossibly deeper.

There's this electric current that seems to run under Jeongguk's skin, and now Taehyung's hands leave their current positions and circle around his waist, connecting at the small of his back, and then they move Jeongguk closer, so their chests are pushed against each other, and the movement gives him a slight amount of friction and Jeongguk whimpers. He fucking whimpers.

At that a noise is pushed into Jeongguk's mouth, this low groan of appreciation, and Jeongguk can feel, those flames that he feels whenever he looks at Taehyung's hands for long enough, whenever Taehyungs jaw tightens, and it's tightened right now, holding their lips together.

He can feel Taehyung's hands, running across his back, touching everything, his biceps, his shoulder blades, and Jeongguk feels appreciated, but he's also appreciating. Appreciating Taehyung. All that he is.

Because he can feel it. Taehyung's chest through his shirt, his pecks, his toned stomach, can imagine the tanned skin beneath it. Taehyung's hair as his hands run through it, his eyelashes as they brush against Jeongguk's cheeks when he kisses him deeply enough, his nose as it occasionally bumps against Jeongguk's.

His own shoulders and back against Jeongguk's fingertips, and he feels the muscles that he's ashamedly fantasized about, and he feels Taehyung's hands in his own hair as they pull him, pull him even harder onto his lips, and. Taehyung's lips.

The ones that have said countless words that make his heart swell. The ones that he's found himself staring at more often than not, getting lost, lost in the pink and the curve of his cupids bow, and now he can feel them.

He can feel the way his top one is slightly plumper than the bottom as they slot over his own, he can feel the dip in the middle, he can feel the ridges along the bottom where they're slightly chapped. He wants to feel them more, wants to map out every inch so he does.

Its careful, tentative the way his tongue moves, ever so slightly touching Taehyungs mouth, but immediately Taehyung is groaning and doing the same, and then its anything but tentative, it's scalding hot, it's Taehyung's hands moving lower, gliding along his thighs through his jeans, gripping the soft skin.

And then Jeongguk's lungs are screaming with the way the wind is knocked out of him as Taehyung feels, feels lower and lower until his hands are gripping the flesh of Jeongguk's ass, and all he feels is hot and this breathless feeling, and breathing is kind of important.

So he pulls away. He hates it the moment he does, the immediate want to rush back in overpowering him, but so does the need to breathe, so he retracts his mouth, moves so his hands are on Taehyung's shoulders.

Taehyung is breathing heavily too, staring at him, hair sticking up and pupils enlarged, black holes and stars within them, lips swollen and skin flushed, and there's this small string of saliva between their lips. Jeongguk isn't sure why but he leans forwards and licks it, tongue flicking up the underside of Taehyung's bottom lip to catch it in his mouth and then lean backwards, a smile settling its way onto his face.

Filthy. It's absolutely nasty what Jeongguk just did, but he liked it, and he wanted it, and he wants Taehyung, and the way Taehyung looks at him afterwards, like he's in some sort of trance makes Jeongguk love the filth. Because there's soft moments and there's dirty moments, but sometimes they go hand in hand.

Because earlier all he felt was Taehyung's heart, but now he feels Taehyung's skin along with it, and it's okay to want both. The physical and the mental. The talking and the touching.

He's sitting so Taehyung's hands hold up up by the back of his thighs, seated on his lap so Taehyung's looking up at him, and Jeongguk feels this indescribable feeling, this happiness, this heat, and he says, "Taehyung."

It comes out rough because of the lack of air in the word, but Taehyung's lips open and close, and then open and close again and Jeongguk wants to go back to capturing them with his own, but then Taehyung breathes out a "holy fuck."

It's followed by a lazy, dazed smile, and Jeongguk is smiling too, and suddenly they're laughing, leaning forward and pressing their foreheads together, and laughing. Taehyung shakes his head against Jeongguk's, and then suddenly gives Jeongguk's ass a squeeze, and he giggles, and, "That was-"

"Everything." Jeongguk finishes for him, loving the way heat blooms in his stomach at the way Taehyung touches him, the way his cock slightly hardens in his jeans, the way their hips touch and he can feel the heat from Taehyung's.

"You taste like chapstick. And ginger ale."

Jeongguk laughs at that, knocking his head back, exposing his neck again, his throat, this expanse of skin. Then he brings it back up, and they lock eyes, and it's quiet.

They're silent for a second, and Jeongguk runs a hand through the hair on the side of Taehyung's head, pulling, leaning his head back so he can get a better view, and when he accidentally pulls too hard and Taehyung winces, he mumbles out a, "sorry," before laughing quietly.

He leans back further and then hoists himself up slightly, so now Taehyung's met with his neck, and Taehyung's hands move up to feel up his sides, smile fading while it turns into this expression that makes Jeongguk feel like he's melting.

And then he takes one hand, places it on Jeongguk's jaw, and brings him closer, hands holding Jeongguk so his lower half is pressed against Taehyung's abdomen, the smooth thing that his neck is right where Taehyung's mouth wants it to be.

He leans in a bit, about to attach his mouth to a collarbone, when he looks up at Jeongguk. The look in his eyes asks for permission, asks I really want to do this, but is it okay? And Jeongguk gives him the permission almost immediately, silently nodding down at him, and he realizes nothings changed.

Okay, a lot has changed, but they're still the same people. They can still read each others thoughts through just a look, can still communicate without speaking, without actually communicating at all.

They're still Jeongguk and Taehyung.

And Jeongguk thinks for the millionth time that night, thinks he likes this change, this kind of different as Taehyung's mouth presses to the place where his neck meets his shoulder, and his lips are slick with spit, Jeongguk's spit, and the kiss is open mouthed and wet, hot.

And Jeongguk's lips fall apart with a silent moan, his eyes closing as Taehyung's mouth moves up his neck. The moan becoming less silent when Taehyung closes his mouth around a spot and sucks, leaving a small purple mark that Jeongguk never wants to go away. Would get it tattooed if that's possible. May look into it.

When Taehyung pauses and presses his chin onto Jeongguk's chest, looking up at Jeongguk who opens his eyes and looks down at him, he looks so out of it, but so focused, and Jeongguk feels breathless that he's what Taehyung's so focused on.

"You taste like ginger ale." He says, panting, and Jeongguk smiles, because he already said that.

"You taste like gatorade."

Taehyung shakes his head and whispers, "no. Not just your lips," he moves his thumb to touch the corner of Jeongguk's mouth then, looking at it, lost, "I mean your skin. Your neck. It tastes like ginger ale. Smells like fresh air."

Jeongguk's stomach is in his feet, if that makes sense, but it's all Jeongguk feels, this thing that doesn't make sense because of how good it is, how impossible to describe. He looks down, and his lips are parted, eyes heavy, which also doesn't make sense because eyes can't be heavy, but his are, weighing down on his face as they stare at Taehyung like he's fucking dessert or some shit.

And maybe he is. Fucking dessert or some shit.

"I want you." Taehyung says, voice hushed, and then he's kissing Jeongguk's neck again, and, I want you too, he wants to say, but he can't speak, because Taehyung bites down on his skin again, gentle at first but then applying pressure, easing again when Jeongguk whines.

And maybe he doesn't need to say it, maybe his actions are enough, the sounds spilling from his mouth telling all. And because Taehyung stops for a second when he comes across another hickey, looking up and asking, "did Mina give you this?"

And when Jeongguk looks at him, bites his lip and nods, and then Taehyung's back on his neck, sucking over the mark Mina made to make his own, to erase the wrongness.

And maybe doing that is wrong, maybe in some other situation it could be a red flag, what feels like possession, ownership, but Jeongguk doesn't feel possessed, doesn't feel owned.

He just feels Taehyung. And another one of those high pitched sounds leave his mouth, because it's sensitive there, and because of the way Taehyung gently presses another open mouthed kiss on it, as if saying sorry, I got caught up in the moment. Saying sorry, that I'm not actually sorry.

Taehyung kisses up his jaw, and the kisses are open mouthed and lazy, but when he finds a certain patch of skin and grazes it with his teeth, when he hollows his cheeks and takes the skin into his mouth, and Jeongguk's mouth in turn parts with a gasp, it doesn't feel lazy.

All he feels is Taehyung's hands, as they grip and gently run across his skin, his lips as they kiss and bite and suck and all those good things that make Jeongguk feel hot, and god he's so hot right now.

"God, Jeongguk," his voice is muffled as he keeps on mouthing along Jeongguk's jaw, not letting up while his fingers press into the firm skin of Jeongguk's ass, "you're so fucking sexy, I can't even think, I," and Jeongguk thinks, maybe in some other scenario, Taehyung would've used a softer word.

Like gorgeous. Beautiful maybe.

But now. Now Taehyung says exactly what he wants to hear, what makes him feel appreciated, what makes his cock kick, and it's fully hard now as he grabs Taehyung's hair and roughly pulls him off his jawline and onto his mouth, kisses him until he melts into nothingness, into Taehyung.

He giggles into the kiss when Taehyung mumbles an, "ow," and he should probably be more gentle, but Jeongguk needs. He needs this so bad, and he can't think about anything else, so he licks along Taehyung's mouth, and the kiss is hot and wet and everything Jeongguk was looking for.

His tongue catches along Taehyung's teeth a few times, and he almost apologizes, but he doesn't feel apologetic, so he keeps it to himself. Because right now, he wants every part of Taehyung. Because that includes the unwanted stuff, like teeth on tongue.

Taehyung pulls back momentarily, looks at Jeongguk for a split second and rushes back in, tongue doing these wondrous things and then pulls back again, and just stares, just breathes.

"You make me feel," he breathes in, and his eyes move back and forth, from Jeongguk's own eyes, to his lips, to his eyebrows, even the little moles inbetween, "like a fucking Pink Floyd song."

Jeongguk's laugh is audacious, loud and unrestrained as it shakes through his whole body, makes him lean his head on Taehyung's shoulder while he laughs until he's breathless, and Taehyung's hands are still touching him but for now all he feels is laughter. "Oh my," a ragged inhale, "fucking god you did not just say that."

Taehyung's hand moves to the back of his head, and he starts running his hands through his hair, a gentle comparison to the way his hands were feeling his body, and Jeongguk likes this. This mixture of playfulness, of softness and then heat. Want. Friendship and the need. Balance.

"What?" Taehyung laughs, and Jeongguk feels his body move from where his face is tucked deeply into the crook of his neck. He wiggles in a bit deeper, so his nose touches his skin, and the smell of Taehyung is so much more intensified now. Mixes with sweat and ginger ale, but still there, prevalent, overpowering in a lovely way. An exquisite way.

"You're so corny," Jeongguk whispers, and it's muffled by Taehyung's skin, and as he speaks Taehyung circles an arm around his waist and pulls him close, enough so every single part of them is touching. The arms Jeongguk has around his neck, slung over his shoulders, their hips, their legs, entangled, their bodies. Their souls.

"I can't hear you," Taehyung laughs softly, finding a spot near the top of Jeongguk's head where his hair is the longest and lightly pulling so Jeongguk's mouth is level with his jaw, but Jeongguk resists and settles back to where he was.

It's silent for a moment while Jeongguk just inhales, and Taehyung continues messing with his hair, and the grass shifts with the breeze. The stars and the moon look on, watch them, and Jeongguk feels like it's only fair. He spends most of his life looking up, admiring, so it's fair that the sky gets to admire what's happening now. What Jeongguk and Taehyung are now, this beautiful thing, the moon and the stars without actually being in the sky.

"I can't believe we waited ten years to do that," Jeongguk brings his head back a sliver so Taehyung can hear his words, and then goes right back, settling in like it's where he belongs. Knows it definitely is.

"Me either, but," he inhales like he's thinking over his words carefully, his arm still snug around Jeongguk's waist while his thumb hooks into the dip, holding him, "I'm almost glad. That we waited so long. Because that was,"

"I want more," Jeongguk interrupts him, because theres still this fire, and his cock is straining against his jeans, and Taehyung's skin is so smooth and it's right in front of his face so he can't help it when kisses are placed along the skin, soft, mostly innocent. Mostly.

"Jeongguk, I do too, but you've been through a lot. Tonight was rough, and I don't want you to-"

"No," Jeongguk cuts him off between kisses, and they progressively get more open mouthed, progressively less innocent, "Tonight has been the best night of my life. I, I can't even describe how I feel right now. I just want you Taehyung, I want you so fucking bad."

Taehyung's breath hitches, and his hand stops in Jeongguk's hair for a moment, Jeongguk's kisses stop too, because he needs to be sure. They need to be sure.

But the thing is, Taehyung's never felt more sure about something in his life.

"Okay," he whispers, and he sounds sure. "Okay, I trust you."

"I trust you too."

And it's just one word, trust, and it has no more meaning than any other word, any phrase, but right now, it kisses the base of Taehyung's heart and blooms like a flower in his chest. Like a dandelion.

So this time he tugs a littler harder on Jeongguk's hair, not enough to hurt but enough to pull his face in front of his own, enough to pull again and meet his lips halfway. Then he brings Jeongguk even closer with the hand around his waist, so their bodies are nearly connected, and then he slowly leans forward.

It's careful, done with precision the way Taehyung lowers Jeongguk onto the grass. Almost skillful, how it ends with a firm hand on Jeongguk's hip, the other holding onto his jaw while Jeongguk spreads his legs around Taehyung, lets him settle inbetween them.

There's a slight amount of friction in the action, and Jeongguk's hips cant upwards, but immediately the hand pushes him back into the grass, and it's almost too much. The way he holds him, the way his lips touch his.

There's this terribly wonderful feeling working it's way through Jeonguk's entirety, his legs fidget, his stomach is on fire from the inside out, but it's not painful, it just makes Jeongguk pull Taehyung even closer, wanting his face on his face and everything else too.

One of his hands pushes on the back of Taehyung's head so while their lips move messily, without rhythm, he can pull him further into it, so it's almost umcomfortable but not quite because Taehyung's this close to him and it'd be impossible to be uncomfortable.

Jeongguk feels like a flower. Like the one Taehyung told him he reminded him of, like something delicate, soft, because Taehyung has the ability to make him feel that way. Like despite the outward appearance, the muscled abdomen from working out, he could break just as easily as anyone, and is deserving of love. Of gentleness.

And that's all Jeongguk feels right now. Love. It courses through his veins, in his blood that pumps through his heart, because that's where it starts, his heart, but it's not the source of it. That's Taehyung, all Taehyung.

And he wants to say it. Those three words. But he doesn't feel like he needs to, because he knows. Knows that Taehyung knows.

He knows it in the way his tongue moves across his lip, in the way his lips move across his own, in the way his hands move across his body. Knows it in the way Taehyung looks at him when he pulls back and moves back to his neck, sucking over old flowers and making new ones, violets, different, but beautiful.

Knows it in the way Taehyung talks to him, in the way he says his name, in the way they've known each other for so long, always friends but just recently bordering something more, but they've loved each other the whole time.

And Jeongguk knows. That Taehyung loves him.

So he says something else instead.

"Please, Taehyung," it's interrupted by a whiny noise when Taehyung's tongue, wet and hot, and why are those the only words Jeongguk can think of, licks along his jawline once more, "I need you."

Taehyung bites down on a spot, the place where Jeongguk's jaw meets his neck, and it's defined, jutting out, now painted with purple, and chuckles when Jeongguk pants, when he squirms a bit under Taehyung's touch, "Jeongguk, I'm right here. You have me."

And now, Jeongguk doesn't just feel like he's a flower. He is one. His body sinks into the grass, into the flowers, and his being takes root in the earth, in Taehyung.

"I know but," Jeongguk's gets restless when Taehyung stops kissing, stops what he's doing and trails his lips along his jawline, leaving the skin wet in their wake but not wet enough. Not wet in the way Jeongguk wants it, "It's not enough, I just," and he realizes he's not making much sense, he's not sure what he's saying and he almost feels dumb for a split second until.

Until Taehyung.

"I know. I feel it too," and he pulls back, hovers over Jeongguk so they're looking into each other's eyes, and Taehyung has a hand holding his chin. Jeongguk stares, and his lungs fucking contract, because Kim Taehyung.

Because he's staring at him, and it's dark, but Jeongguk's never seen anything more clearly than the way he sees his best friend now. His hair is messed up and the ends poke everywhere, the outline of it clear as the moon beats down on his back, watching.

His cheeks are red and his lips are that pink, that pink Jeongguk can never seem to get out of his head and they're just inches from his own. And when Jeongguk says, "I just want-" and the words are ripped from his chest, those lips interrupt him and say.

"Shhhh," and Jeongguk shushes, because now there's a finger pressing on his bottom lip, "It's okay. I want you too Jeongguk. So bad, I," and he stops talking abruptly, just looks, and his pupils are fucking huge. And if Jeongguk looks hard, closely, he can see himself in those pupils. How wrecked he looks too.

"You're breathtaking."

And it's funny that Taehyung says that, because that's all Taehyung is. Breathtaking. That's all he's been doing all night, stealing the air from Jeongguk's lungs, robbing him from the luxury of breathing easy, occupying the space inside instead of air.

So without thinking, without hesitating, Jeongguk tilts his head upwards, and breathes in Taehyung, this kiss that makes him forget where he is, who he is, remembers nothing but Taehyung. Taehyung Taehyung Taehyung.

They kiss so that Taehyung steals Jeongguk's breath, Jeongguk in turn stealing his, and Jeongguk's lungs are screaming and so is his head but his heart is singing, this song that drowns out the screams, overpowers everything he is.

And Jeongguk moans into his mouth, this high pitched sound that would make him feel embarrassed if it weren't for the way Taehyung's hand tightens on his waist, brings him up off the ground slightly so their bodies are touching, fused at the hip.

"Taehyung," Jeongguk breathes in between a kiss, the name in question immediately surging forwards to pull him back in, "I want," he manages to get out when Taehyung pulls back to inhale, only to get interrupted when he doesn't let up, these obscene smacking sounds filling the air as the kiss gets wetter, "you to fuck me."

When the sentence finally comes out of Jeongguk's mouth, half spoken into Taehyung's, Taehyung finally stops, still holding Jeongguk so his midriff is suspended in the air. "Jeongguk, I," he looks at a loss for words, pink mouth agape, "what?"

Jeongguk runs a hand down his back, pinching teasingly at a spot near his waist while Taehyung still just silently stares, face inches away from his own, staring down. "Please, Taehyung. I want you inside-"

"Shhhh, holy fuck Jeongguk you're-"

"Taehyung please. You're so hot, I want you, I wanna feel it, I," and he's babbling, but he doesn't care because he's telling the truth. Taehyung's eyes are staring at him with this emotion that makes his entire body feel alight, makes him feel needy in a way he's never needed anything before.

"You don't know what you're saying, you," Taehyung's looking at him like he wants to, fuck him, but also isn't sure how to react to that because after being friends for so long, the idea of it is foreign. New. Not like Jeongguk's never thought of the prospect, but it's never been actualized.

And thats all it is right now. Actualized.

"I know exactly what I'm saying, I want to-"

"Look," Taehyung's voice cuts him off, and the grip around his waist tightens, hauls him even closer so Jeongguk emits a small squeak, "as much as I may want to, we're in the middle of a field, all we have is a bike to get back home and I'm-"

Jeongguk stops him by kissing him, long, hard, hand gripping Taehyung's hair while he pulls him closer, almost aggressive in the way it makes Taehyung fall so now he's lying directly on top of him, pushing him into the grass, every part of them touching, their ribcages, their lips, their legs, their cocks.

"I don't care," Jeongguk breathes when he pulls back, chest heaving while Taehyung's hands touch his waist, his chest, the spaces inbetween, "I want you to fuck me."

And it's a vulgar word. fuck. Describes a number of things, can be used in a number of ways. But right now it means exactly what Jeongguk wants it too, means their bodies connected physically and mentally, because right now they're so close to each other but all Jeongguk wants is to be closer.

So it's okay. That the word is vulgar. Because sex is vulgar, but Jeongguk wants it with Taehyung, wants it so bad he feels restless, his pants tight and his heart drawn tighter.

"Jeongguk, even if," Taehyung pauses, looks a bit dazed from the way Jeongguk just kissed him, and as he whispers his breath tickles the spot on Jeongguk's face that's bright red, where he's blushing.

"Even if what," Jeongguk interjects before Taehyung can finish, and Taehyung backs up a bit, just kind of stares. Jeongguk can tell he's thinking over his words carefully, and he wants to kiss him, tell him it's okay, he doesn't have to be this careful anymore, but then Taehyung speaks.

"Even if we were somewhere else, I mean," he looks up, at the stars, back at Jeongguk, "shouldn't we wait?"

He must see the look on Jeongguk's face, so he's quick to continue, "Don't get me wrong, I want you so bad. And I have. For so long. But,"

"But," Jeongguk whispers, because he kind of gets it, but he's still underneath Taehyung and Taehyung's still on top of him and he's all he wants, everything he needs but isn't sure he deserves all wrapped up into one person.

Taehyung gives him a look, a look like Jeongguk's the exact same in his eyes. Like he wants to take Jeongguk apart, petal by petal, piece by piece, and then put him back together right here, right now. Like he wants Jeongguk to do the same to him.

"But we've been friends for so long. And these kinds of things," he sighs, and the air hits Jeongguk's face again, "they can be so complicated, and I really don't wanna fuck this up. I would never forgive myself if I did. So, aren't we supposed to wait?"

He's right. Jeongguk heard every word, knows he makes a point, but why does everything have to be about logistics? Why should he have to hold on when Taehyung's right here, right in front of him, and he clearly only wants to wait because he feels like he should, feels like he has to-

"Taehyung."

His voice is feather light, a contrast to the earlier filth that spewed from his mouth, the desperation, "You couldn't fuck this up if you tried."

He reaches a hand out and touches Taehyung's face, soft, a bit harder when he cups his jaw and traces along his lip, "And you're right. About things like this being complicated sometimes. But right now," he breathes out, and his chest empties and so does his heart, "everything's so clear. And I don't think it has to be complicated. I think if I want you and you want me, nothing else should matter."

And Taehyung breathes, and Jeongguk can feel it all. Everything he's been feeling for so long. Everything he's thought he was stupid for thinking, everything Taehyung's been thinking he's smart for at the same time.

"If you want to wait, that's okay. We can wait. But," he pauses, moves the thumb, the hand so now it's in his hair, "We've waited ten years. If you only want to wait because you feel like it's the right thing to do, then don't. We can do what we want. And I don't want to wait anymore."

Taehyung's looking at him, clearly thinking, processing, and then he just swoops down and kisses Jeongguk, hard, and it's short, chaste, but it still gives Jeongguk that warm electric feeling again, and then he says, "Okay."

"Okay?" Jeongguk reiterates, but it comes out as this choked sound, because now Taehyung's leaning down and mouthing at his neck, tongue running along the collar bone.

Taehyung hums into the skin, the sound low as he bites down on a hickey he made a couple minutes ago, makes Jeongguk move around impatiently. "What," Jeongguk pauses to inhale when Taehyung sucks on the same spot, "what does that mean?"

"It means," Taehyung lets go of the mark, tongue tracing the vein along Jeongguk's neck, making him shiver, and then he stops at Jeongguk's ear, and whispers, "I'm gonna fuck you in the middle of a field of dandelions."

Jeongguk's reaction is instantaneous, this low groan that melts into a giggle when Taehyung takes his earlobe between his teeth.

Then, he's pushing his legs together, getting a grip on Taehyung's hips, and flipping them over, so now Jeongguk's straddling him, because they're virtually the same size, and Jeongguk can haul him around too. Taehyung just happens to be 3 inches taller.

This alarmed noise comes out of Taehyung's mouth but it's silenced by Jeongguk's lips, swallowing the sound, swallowing Taehyung, and that sounds sexual but it's really just beautiful, everything is beautiful.

And Jeongguk's still a flower, still delicate but he has thorns, has power, because now it's him pushing Taehyung into the grass, it's him slowly grinding down onto him, it's this heat that makes Taehyung groan into his mouth and Jeongguk giggle.

"We're so dirty for this," Taehyung laughs when Jeongguk sits up, pulling back and Taehyung's hands move to his hips, holding him still because he's still grinding and it's driving Taehyung crazy-

"What, fucking in a field?" Jeongguk says, voice easing into a laugh when Taehyung's eyebrows raise and he moves his hands up and down Jeongguk's sides, fingers catching on his nipples and making him inhale.

"It sounds even dirtier when you say it like that," he chuckles, and Jeongguk gives a blinding smile, one that makes his top lip melt away into slightly crooked teeth, endearing in a way that makes Taehyung's heart soar. "I like dirty," Jeongguk says it while narrowing his eyes, and Taehyung's lungs malfunction, only for a moment.

"I like you."

Jeongguk shakes his head, laughing softly, and he moves a bit, cock rubbing against Taehyung's so they both suck in breaths, "you're sappy."

Taehyung's fingers twirl along Jeongguk's ribcage, feeling the material of his shirt, Taehyung's shirt that looks incredible on Jeongguk, and everything just feels so meant to be, "you're beautiful."

And it's corny, what Taehyung says, how Taehyung feels, but it's okay that it's corny, because Jeongguk's heart is imploding, caving in on itself while he not only looks at Taehyung, but looks at the way Taehyung looks back at him.

"I think I like it here," Jeongguk says, and then he moves his hands up, to the top button of his shirt, and watches Taehyung's eyes as he slowly pops it open, makes Taehyung ripe with anticipation, ripe with want.

"Yeah?" Taehyung asks, voice breathless while Jeongguk takes off the second one, eye contact staying strong, Taehyung feeling the opposite of strong, he feels so weak, weak for the beautiful boy sitting in his lap, the boy that's all his and is showing himself fully, shameless.

"Yeah," Jeongguk's voice is soft, but high pitched and sultry, and the way he says it is like a moan, and Taehyung's hips involuntarily cant upwards because fuck that was hot, "they're watching."

Taehyung's stomach sinks, and he finally breaks eye contact to look around for other people, "who's watching?"

He's met with confusion and empty fields, grass sprawling out beautifully and sky twinkling, but no people, nobody else, but them. Then a finger curls under his chin, the nail lightly digging into the skin, but it's good, because it moves his head back so he's looking at Jeongguk, and the shirt's unbuttoned now.

A sliver of golden skin, traces of muscle, the dip in his chest that Taehyung wants nothing more than to stick his tongue into, and if he was hardening before, he's hard now, because Jeon Jeongguk is the epitome of beauty.

And then Jeongguk straightens his arms and slowly slides the material off of them, golden skin expanding, and Taehyung wants to touch it all, with his hands, his mouth, press it to every last inch of him.

The shirts completely off now, and Jeongguk's bare in his lap, not totally, because he still has his jeans on, but Taehyung feels naked himself seeing Jeongguk this way, feels exposed because he knows what his eyes are doing, the face he's making.

He knows Jeongguk can tell what he's thinking, a million different things, some of them dirty, some of them pure, and his hands move upwards to feel, feel his skin, feel Jeongguk, make him keen and gasp and moan and everything dirty that Jeongguk loves. That Taehyung now knows Jeongguk loves.

And Taehyung's about to say something, and he's nearly forgotten about the comment of someone watching them, until Jeongguk puts a hand on his chest a leans downwards, until their lips are touching but not quite yet pulled together, and whispers, "the stars."

Taehyung's eyes widen tenfold, but Jeongguk can't see it because he's too busy moving his lips against his, sinking into the kiss while Taehyung's hands travel everywhere along his torso, pulling him closer, pulling him so their cocks align just right when Jeongguk starts moving, these downwards slow grinds that have them both breathing hard, panting into each others mouths.

Taehyung slowly sits up, holding Jeongguk close to him, feeling over his back, the lower half that melts into his ass, and then he feels that too, hands cupping the softness through his jeans, and Jeongguk wants them gone, wants them off, wants it all off.

Their lips are still together, and it's almost frantic the way Taehyung kisses him, the way Jeongguk kisses him back, tongues touching and it's wet and disgusting, but it's a good disgusting. Jeongguk loves this disgusting, loves the feeling of Taehyung's spit in his mouth, and that's gross but Jeongguk doesn't care.

He just tilts his head to one side to get the angle right, to kiss him deeper, one hand threaded in Taehyung's hair and the other fiddling with the bottom of his shirt, pulling it upwards so he can feel the bottom of Taehyung's bare midriff.

His hand brushes over the skin, and then Jeongguk gets more insistent, pulling so Taehyung's shirt rises and exposes his chest, and he wants him to take it off but he also can't seem to stop kissing him long enough to allow him the room.

"Hey, Gguk," Taehyung gets out despite Jeongguk's interrupting mouth, "pause for a second."

And Jeongguk doesn't want to, pause, but he will, because Taehyung asked him to. He pulls off Taehyung's lips with this lewd popping noise, and there's that string of saliva again, but this time Jeongguk lets it fall, watches at it hits his abdomen. Disgusting, disgusting in the best way.

"Okay so what I'm about to say is gonna suck ass."

Jeongguk's stomach drops, and he leans back a bit in Taehyung's hold so he can really see Taehyung's face, gauge his emotions. "Do you want to stop? Because we can, I don't want to do anything unless you want to, and I know you said we should wait earlier so-"

"No," Taehyung stops him, and his lips aren't pink right now, they're red, red from the impact of Jeongguk's, left with a sheen of soda chapstick and spit, "it's not that. I want this, I," he pauses, and brings Jeongguk closer, hands enclosed around Jeongguk's waist, "I want you."

Jeongguk nods dumbly in response, but he doesn't feel dumb. He's spent most of his life feeling dumb, and he refuses to feel that way with someone as smart as Taehyung, someone who thinks he's smart too.

"But," Taehyung has this look on his face, this wince, like he's preparing for something bad, and Jeongguk's worry increases, "I don't have a condom." Fuck. "Or lube."

Fuck.

"Fuck," Jeongguk's annoyed, but not at Taehyung, at the world, at his cock straining against his jeans, at the heat gathered in his gut that he wants to feel more of, wants Taehyung to make spread like a wildfire that consumes his body.

"I know. And as much as I'm down with our first time being here, my bed works too right?"

Jeongguk thinks it over, and drops the hem of Taehyung's shirt that he hadn't even realized he was still holding. Taehyung looks so good right now, his face hardly lit up under the moon but Jeongguk can see it, and he wants nothing more than to lunge forward and kiss him-

He does. He kisses him hard, and mumbles, "we don't need a condom. We can use spit as-"

"Oh my god Jeongguk, are you kidding? That's so fucking disgusting who even are you?"

"I don't care, I've waited years to have you inside me and I'm about to finally-"

"If you've waited years can't you wait twenty more minutes for me to take you home and buy-"

"I can't, Taehyung I'm hard as fuck and I need you right here, right-"

"I need you too baby, but we're not using spit as lube, I'm sorry."

"Why not," and Jeongguk's restless, grinding downwards while they talk inbetween kisses, and despite Taehyung's words he's still firmly gripping Jeongguk's hips and aiding his movements. When he finally notices, he stops, and pulls off Jeongguk finally, not allowing Jeongguk to rush back in like he wants to.

"I know you're horny," Taehyung starts, and his tone is so serious that Jeongguk almost bursts out into laughter, "I am too. But imagine this," and then he leans into Jeongguk's neck and kisses the skin, laid out for him, open, beautiful.

"I lay you out on my bed," Jeongguk's been in his bed before, but never in a more than friendly way, never in the way he's picturing himself laying in it now, "we light a candle or some shit, one of those earthy ones you like," and Jeongguk giggles, half because Taehyung just kissed a spot that tickles, and half because Taehyung knows him so well.

"And then I make love to every single inch of you," Jeongguk's stomach is dropping again, and his mouth falls open for the thousandth time as Taehyung presses an even more exaggerated kiss on his jawline, "while you're as loud as you want to be, because my dad's out of town," another kiss, this one harder, "and because I wanna hear you."

Jeongguk can't feel his face, can only feel Taehyung's lips on his skin, feel them even when they pull away and Taehyung looks at him, waiting for what Jeongguk says.

"How does that sound? Okay? If not I-"

Jeongguk doesn't listen to the rest, just gives him this soft kiss, a short one where their lips meld together so nicely it makes Jeongguk smile into it, the giddy feeling prevalent, all he is, all Taehyung is.

"It sounds perfect," Jeongguk whispers when he pulls back, still smiling, because it does, sound perfect, the thought of being in Taehyung's bed, being naked, having Taehyung naked with him, Taehyung's bed that smells like wood and sea salt and everything he can't stop thinking about.

Taehyung looks dazed, because that kiss was such a contrast to what they had been doing before, from the desperation.

Before Taehyung can answer Jeongguk get's up quickly, grabbing the shirt he discarded and heading towards the bike, because riding on a bike with a hard dick is going to suck, but he knows that what'll come afterwards will make it all worth it. Plus, he's not the one pedaling.

"You coming?" Jeongguk asks, looking over his shoulder as he buttons up the shirt, eyeing Taehyung who's still sitting on the ground.

"Wait, really?" Taehyung looks at him, and he looks shocked, "I thought you wanted the stars to see-"

Jeongguk shakes his head, and Taehyung stops talking, looks at him. And the stars are above them, bright but not too bright, a beautiful light that shows you just enough, shows you exactly what you want to see, "I don't need the stars."

And they shine in front of him too, on the ground, looking at him like he's the only thing that matters, because he is.

Looking at him like he's something beautiful. A flower. A dandelion.

Thinking of him as someone smart, and that's exactly what Jeongguk is. No maybe's about it. Smart.

"I just need you."

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