flavored lube is NOT stupid (or is it)

It's awkward.

Being back in the gas station. The same one as before, except this time so much has changed. It's almost interesting to think about. That an hour earlier, they were in the very same place as they are now physically, but drastically different mentally. That they were practically different people than they are now.

The unawareness of the girl behind the counter. The fact that she probably thinks they've always been this way, always rode bikes together with painful boners and smoldering kisses left to the backs of necks. Taehyung's neck. Jeongguk said it was fine before, to wait until they got home, but he's really struggling more than you'd think.

And that's part of the reason it's so awkward.

There's a lube isle. Not really an isle, but there's stacks of different flavors, all obnoxiously colored in a way that forces your eyes to look. Would make Jeongguk inspect them in the same way Taehyung vigorously is, if it weren't for his inability to focus. If it weren't for the way he's practically hanging off the back of Taehyung's body, clinging to him like a wet T-shirt. Like his own wet T-shirt, remnants of ginger ale lingering.

His breath is covering Taehyung's ear as Taehyung also tries to focus, but it's kind of hard. When Jeongguk's all over him. When all he wants to do is spin himself around and clutch the boy behind him, the boy who makes his heart swell in a way no one else ever could, and kiss him until they both see stars. Until they both collapse, on the grimy floor of a gas station while the cashier watches with judging eyes.

She's not really judging them. It's just the way she looks, naturally tired, naturally done with everything she's seeing, and she just happens to be seeing Taehyung and Jeongguk.

Taehyung and Jeongguk who are in that honey moon daze that's not really a honey moon daze because they're not necessarily dating, but they're together, and that's all that matters to them. If anything, that makes it sappier. More cheesy. Less appealing to look at, especially when you're exhausted and it's 3:00am.

Usually Jeongguk would be bothered with the prospect of someone staring at him. Specifically those bright blue eyes that are currently burning holes into the back of his neck, his neck that's painted with violets, watching as he drapes himself over Taehyung's back like the overly horny teenager he is.

But he doesn't care about the eyes. Thinks she can watch if she wants too, as he whispers something into Taehyung's ear about strawberry being his favorite fruit, and then Taehyung immediately responds with something about the lube not tasting anything like the real thing. They bicker for a moment, eventually fall back into silence while Taehyung continues looking.

Jeongguk's chin is nestled deep into his shoulder, lips practically finding permanent residence atop the patch of skin directly below his ear. They move periodically, while Taehyung examines the options like they're much more than lube. Like it's life or death.

Jeongguk feels butterflies in his stomach, ones that never seem to go away. Ones that make him wanna move even closer to Taehyung, and he does, his arms curl over Taehyung's ribcage and he pulls him closer, so Taehyung lets out a little laugh and turns his head a bit, maybe trying to kiss Jeongguk, but Jeongguk just murmurs something about him needing to pick out the lube and forces him to focus. Priorities.

He's just staring, fingers a few inches away from the grape lube, hovering, the blue eyes still staring from across the room, but again, that doesn't matter, because something's wrong. Taehyung's zoned out, here, but not really here, so Jeongguk removes his lips from the comfort that is Taehyung and asks him what's going on. Why he isn't moving. Why he isn't breathing either.

Taehyung finally breathes, and it makes Jeongguk's body move along with it, still firm in his position while he presses into him. It feels so perfect, so natural being connected to Taehyung this way, and he can't find it in himself to be patient for what's to come. For them to be connected throughly, souls and bodies intertwined alike.

It feels so natural, so right, even in a setting like this, with someone not so subtly watching them be clingy, and surrounded by bottles of lube and other crude items Jeongguk never thought he'd be so shameless about buying. But somethings wrong, and Taehyung voices it.

He asks if this feels weird. This. Them.

Jeongguk immediately takes a few steps back, cocks his head and asks him to explain further, to tell him what he means. He prays it doesn't feel weird to Taehyung, because that's what it seems like he's saying. What it feels like.

Assumptions are hardly ever accurate. They aren't now, because the more he watches Taehyung's facial expressions as he speaks, the apprehensive raising of his eyebrows that he does when he's insecure about something, the minuscule way he touches his nose with one hand when he's not sure how to express himself, the more he realizes he doesn't even need to listen to the words.

The more he realizes Taehyung has no reason to be insecure, to be unsure, because the way he moves and the way he looks tells Jeongguk all he needs to know. All he's thinking, all that he wants to say but can't seem to say quite right. So Jeongguk just closes the distance between them again, and shuts him up with a kiss.

Taehyung immediately stops rambling about how strange it is to think just three days ago they were playing call of duty like normal dude-bros do, and falls into Jeongguk, kisses back softly, mirroring the way Jeongguk grabs his cheek. The way he lightly touches his arm, a soothing up and down motion.

And when Jeongguk releases his lips with a soft clicking noise, it's because it's not weird. It's because Taehyung doesn't feel weird, it's just the fear of Jeongguk feeling weird that's consuming him. That's making him doubtful. And Jeongguk knows because a part of him felt the same way, the same part of him that's happy that Taehyung mentioned it.

Communication can easily be what tears a relationship a part, regardless of the label put on top of it. Jeongguk and Taehyung have always been outstanding at communicating with each other. He's not worried. Taehyung no longer is either, because he's reading Jeongguk right back.

So when Jeongguk tells him he's just being paranoid, he listens, because he is. And when Jeongguk settles right back into his spot after Taehyung slowly turns around with a newfound motivation to locate the perfect flavor of lube, it's not weird.

Just slightly awkward. Because the blue eyes still stare. But not weird. Because Jeongguk and Taehyung fit together naturally, and it's a beautiful thing, regardless of whose looking and whose not. A cashier. The stars.

After a few more painful minutes of more mouth on skin, finger on plastic, faint aromas of different artificial flavors filling Jeongguk and Taehyung's senses, they eventually just decide on normal lube. The plain stuff. Because they don't need anything fancy to make this good.

Because Taehyung smells like sea salt, wood, and guava, and Jeongguk doesn't want to smell grapes or strawberries or bananas. He wants to smell him. Wants to be infused with his essence, his presence, and everything Taehyung has to offer, which is so much. Taehyung is everything.

They grab a box of condoms afterwards, and Jeongguk both snickers and feels arousal rise to a new height within himself when Taehyung grabs an extra large. He's seen Taehyung's dick before, but it's all about context. He's excited, you can't blame him.

But that's part of the reason it's so awkward when they check out. When Jeongguk finally looks back at the blue that's been staring at him for the past few minutes, and she's really not judging them. She just looks amused while she moves the items under the scanners, looks back and forth at Taehyung and Jeongguk with knowing eyes.

Because she may not have known Jeongguk and Taehyung before tonight, but she doesn't seem to be stupid either. So Jeongguk thinks she notices the change. The change in atmosphere, the change in them.

The way that under the counter separating them, their hands are intertwined. How good it feels to touch the thing Jeongguk's been wordlessly pining over. Been in his own head about, doubt a constant, but it's gone now. And doubt can never be truly gone, but Jeongguk doesn't think he feels even a lick of it right now.

All he feels is the thumb gently running up and down his knuckle, hand squeezing and still not letting go when she asks them to pay. When Taehyung pulls out another ten, and hands it to her despite the lube and condoms being only $5.46. When she smiles lightly, and it looks good on her face, natural.

And she was never judging them, because that blue in her eyes is naturally piercing and cold, but the way she's looking at them is warm. As warm as a look at 3:00am can be.

The hand never lets go, not when the lube and condoms are in a plastic bag in the hand opposite, swinging back and forth while Jeongguk exits the store for the second time that night. It felt awkward at first, but it wasn't even in the slightest. He supposes that was the constant doubt he was thinking about, just in a lesser form. Insignificant.

Because even if the awkwardness was all in his head, Jeongguk can deal with a little awkwardness, with a little weirdness. Because he's finally with someone who feels so right to him that it erases all the wrong, undoes anything Jeongguk could possibly feel bothered about. Feel weird about in a bad way.

So when Taehyung hands Jeongguk the bag so they can get on the bike and go to his house, and Jeongguk just stares, doesn't move, Taehyung's confused. Because of how eager Jeongguk seemed. Because of  how out of it he looks, how lost.

And when Jeongguk answers all his internal questions by just leaning forward and kissing him, hard, without much warning, this self indulgent thing that he's already done multiple times in the past hour or so, but he can never get enough of. Taehyungs lips. The taste of gatorade, the taste of stars.

Taehyung isn't complaining. Isn't doing anything but kissing Jeongguk back, fingers gripping his chin lightly to pull him back in for one more when Jeongguk releases to breathe, pulling them back together. Connected at the seams, at face value. All so they can be connected in a more intimate way, in a more real way.

And it's so nice. Because when their lips touch Jeongguk feels an internalized ball of heat rise up from the tips of his toes to the ends of his hair, the hair that Taehyung moves away from his face gently as they continue to kiss, soft, and less full of want than earlier. Less full of need. Just full of soft breaths, warm lips and sugar. They taste like sugar.

Jeongguk finally lets go and his eyes stay closed for a moment afterwards, savoring in that feeling. Wishing it would last forever, but also not really, because if he felt like he was kissing Kim Taehyung forever he really would be stupid. Rendered unable to think.

Taehyung smiles lopsidedly, and Jeongguk wants to lick his teeth, which is weird, but true, because they, like every other part of Kim Taehyung, are beautiful. Like the stars above and the ones that just kissed him, the ones that are currently holding each side of Jeongguk's face.

Jeongguk wants to hold his face back but he has the bag of condoms and lube in his hands. Precious cargo. Like how Taehyung's holding and looking at his face, how Jeongguk might as well be holding Taehyung's with his eyes. More precious cargo.

And then Taehyung presses one more kiss to his forehead, this one soft, more sugary than anything Jeongguk could ever hope to eat, and then calls him baby and tells him to get on the bike so they can go home.

And as Jeongguk gets on the bike, all he can think about is how this is the opposite of weird. The opposite of awkward. That even if the blue was still watching, it wouldn't even matter.

Because his best friend who's so much more than just his best friend just called him baby. Because Jeongguk's still hanging off his frame, still riding bikes with him and kissing his shoulder, the crook of his neck, tongue grazing the skin occasionally. Teeth doing the same. Just to make it harder for him to pedal.

Because it's not weird.

Not even in the slightest.

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