Chapter 42: Prodigies Walk It Off

New POV...because we HAVE to hear from Darius right now!

I think this song, Father of Mine...it's not exclusively about Darius. It's about Trace and Bodie and Darius...all their perspectives on how important a father is.

Darius

I can't even.

It's like...everybody in my life is crazy.

And liars.

I only really have one thing on my mind right now.

I should have gone out the basement door. I need to get out of this house to make the call.

But I messed up and went up the stairs out of habit and I run smack into Adam in the foyer. He has the baby and he freaks a little bit, stiff-arming me so I don't squish her.

"Whoa, slow down bud. Lennon spit up all over me, I had to change my shirt but I'm ready now. We can go pick up Gwennie—"

"Sorry, can't," I gasp and change directions, darting through the house.

"Darius!" he calls after me. "What's wrong? Darius!" When I don't answer he starts cussing and bellowing, "Fuck! Mac! Mac! Code Red! Darius!"

Boomers are so fucking weird. And yes...anybody old enough to be a parent is a Boomer. I don't even know what that Code Red was supposed to mean, but apparently Mac does.

Mac, hearing him yelling, comes running and jukes in front of me, grabbing me by the shoulders.

I tried to shirk her, but that Shorty has a grip. She hangs on, grabbing my chin, forcing her to look at me.

"Dammit." Her voice is all soft, like when she talks to the baby. "What did you overhear, Sweetheart?"

"You all...know?" My voice sounds weird, even to me.

"We all love you," she says firmly. "Now, you just need to stay right here a minute, until your mom and Bodie—"

"They are a little naked right now. I'm out. Been great knowing ya!" I say, jerking free from her.

"Darius, you get your ass back here right now!" she yells, following me out the door. Ah...there's the chic that yells at Adam.

She chases me out the door. I'm a little bit scared for a second that she might tackle me because she's got a stride on her, too, and she's keeping up.

When I hit the woods, she stops, cussing up a blue streak. She's not wearing shoes and she stepped on something, I guess.

Serves her right. I can not believe this bullshit. What is it? Like some kind of frickin' conspiracy? Keep the dumb little kid in the dark about who is father is?

It all makes sense now. The famous rock star's sudden interest in me. How he's been blowing sunshine up my butt, telling me how talented I am. How good my YouTube videos are.

He has to say that. He's my father.

And I bet he didn't even know. They think I'm so stupid, but I'm not. Marley only told him because Daemon got out of jail. Otherwise she would have let us all go on believing the lie.

God. She is such a liar. She's been lying to me my whole life.

I don't even really have a plan for where I'm going, but when the woods give way to a plowed hay field, I bust into a flat out run, streaking across it toward the trees on the other side.

I don't make it. I stand in the middle of the field gasping, holding my side where it hurts.

When I can breathe, I pull out my phone. This is really my only play. I call the one person I have always been able to count on.

"Hey, Dawg, how's your spring break going?" TJ answers. He sounds happy. He usually does, unlike Marley.

"Did you know?"

Silence. "Know what, Darius?"

"Did.You.Know?"

"Darius," he begins slowly, "I don't know what you think you know right now, but you have to understand, ...there's a DNA test that says you are my blood. We have a copy. I'll show it you. That's what your Mama Pat knew when she became your guardian—that a DNA test said you were her grandchild. And even if there wasn't, Darius—you are like my firstborn son, okay? I know I wasn't much more than a kid myself when you were born, but taking care of you? Caring about you? It made me a man. You will always be mine. Nothing can change that."

I can't even understand what he's saying. It doesn't sound like what Bodie and Marley were talking about. But I'm not some stupid little kid. I know what I heard. I just don't know what to believe.

I start to cry. But I'm not gonna do that, so I start cussin' instead.

"What the fuck, TJ!" I yell into the phone.

"I know, bud. You're pissed. You have every right to be. I don't know what's going on there. I just know I want to help you. Put your mama on the phone so I can do that, okay?"

"No. I gotta go." I hang up. He calls back like a dozen times, but I don't answer.

I just walk around this farm. Fields and orchards and lakeline. The sun sets, and I keep walking.

Everyone calls. Marley. Bodie. Pat. Adam. Eventually I get a text from an unknown number.

Hey kid, it's Trace. I know everyone is looking for you, but I get that sometimes you gotta walk it off. My advice? Go ask the Reverend for a sledgehammer and something to demolish. Believe me, it helps.

I remember the story from Rolling Stone. About how Trace grew up not knowing that Matt del Marco was his father. I guess his mother is a liar, too. I wonder how he feels about that for a second, but then I decide I don't really care right now. Still, something makes me send him back a thumbs up.

He texts back immediately.

We'll talk soon, okay?

I thumbs-up that too.

I keep walking. Eventually I've walked all the way to Gwen's house. I stand in the shadow of the trees behind her backyard, searching the windows for her. I just want to see her, I don't really want to talk to her.

Her house is all lit up with lights inside. It's easy to see her when she comes into view of the large glass doors on the back of her house. She seems to be gesturing wildly at her mother, like they are arguing or something. It makes me sad to see her face all twisted up, but I like the way her long brown hair is swinging all around.

She throws open the French doors and I hear her mom say, "No ma'am. Absolutely not. You need to stay right here. Bodie and Marley and Adam and Mac and your father and Grandpa and MJ are all out looking for Darius right now. You can talk to him tomorrow. Right now he needs to talk to his mother."

I turn away quickly and fade into the woods.Her mom is kinda right. I can't talk to Gwen right now.

What am I supposed to say? I don't even know the truth.

That's the reason I turn back toward Adam's house. Because I'm acting like a dumb kid. Kids run away from shit when they don't understand things. When they get scared.

I'm not gonna do that.

I see Bodie before he sees me. He's skirting the shoreline with a flashlight, talking on his phone. Probably to someone else in the search party.

I walk down to Adam's dock. I know he will see me and follow.

I haven't even got my jeans rolled up and my feet in the water before I hear the dock ramp creaking under his weight.

He stops behind me. I can hear him getting a lot of text notifications and I can hear the subtle clicks of his response. He's still got his phone in hand when he sits down beside me.

He says nothing. I say nothing.

After a long time, he says, "Need to know what you are thinking, Dawg."

"Are you my father?"

"I think so, but it's...it's real complicated, Darius."

"What does that mean?"

"Look at this," he says. He shows me a picture that looks exactly like me. Like, exactly like me.  Maybe like, a shade or two darker, but otherwise exactly like me. "This is my grandfather. I never knew him. He died before I was born."

I take the phone from him, peering harder at the picture. He strokes over the screen. There's a very pretty mixed girl, holding a baby. It's a video, and he taps to play. There is something very familiar about her and the baby.

"That's my cousin Tamara, and her son, Ollie."

"They kind of look like me, too."

"They do. Very much. So much that Ollie's father—that's Leed—noticed it the first time he met you. But then there is...this."

Bodie flips the screen to a picture of a white piece of paper. I spread my fingers so I can read it. It's a paternity test and after I check it out for a minute or two, I figure out that it says Candidate A is my father and that Candidate A is Daemon Turner.

That makes my chest go hot at the same time my stomach flips. It's very confusing. I was freakin' mad as hell at the idea that Bodie was my father a few minutes ago. Now, I feel scared that he's not.

"So...which is it?" I manage to choke out.

"It's me," Bodie growls, swiping with an angry gesture back to the picture that looks exactly like me. "It's got to be me. I..." he looks out to the dark water. "I can't really explain the DNA test, Darius. I think...maybe there was a mix-up. It wasn't exactly done in a doctor's office, you know. Your mom, and Daemon, and me...we were all in jail. The samples were all taken at different times. It was...a messed up situation, and I think the test...well, I think it got messed up, too. But the thing you need to understand? The thing that is really important? Your mother had no way of knowing that. She had a paternity test that said your father was Daemon. I...I got out of jail and I never went back to my old neighborhood. She never had a second chance...a second glance, I mean. She didn't know that you look exactly like my grandfather. That you favor my cousin so much. She didn't know. This mix-up is not on her."

Okay maybe. But he's down playing an obvious point.

"But you've both suspected for a while," I said. "You've known since..." I fade off.

Oh shit. He's always known. Since the moment he met me. My father came to meet me.

And I thought he was a junkie and I shot him.

I don't even realize it's coming up. The vomit.

At least I'm sitting on the edge of the dock and the puke isn't visible in the dark water. We both pull up our feet to dry.

Bodie very slowly pinches my shoulder. I curl my head, my instinct to pull away, but he pinches harder.

"Hey. I know. I know shit is really fucked up. It's gonna take a while to unfuck it. There's nothing that has to happen right away, Darius. Nothing really changes unless you want it to."

"I want to know," I say automatically. "I want another test."

"Okay. We can work on that."

"No, I mean, like right now," I say, my voice getting louder. "Right now!" I yell. I know I'm acting like a punk but I can't help it. "I want to know if it's you, or...him!"

"Alright," Bodie nods. He pulls out his phone and dials a number. "Hey man. I need a favor. A lab test." He pauses. "A paternity test. It's kind of a long st—" he pauses and listens again. "Oh. She told you. Wow. Well I guess that's...easier now. Well...look...we are all here and Darius wants to know. How fast? Naw man, like how fast if you do me a solid and rush it through tonight?" Bodie snorts. "Damn, you're kind of an asshole aren't you? Well don't do it for me, do it for Marley and the kid then." Another pause. In this pause, I figure out he must be talking to Marley's boyfriend-for-a-minute also known as Dr. Call-Me-Kade. It makes a lot more sense to me now, why they broke up.

They broke up because Bodie came back in the picture. Because obviously, she's got the feels for him.

I flinch, recalling the skin I witnessed downstairs. Nobody should have to seen that crap. I give Bodie a side-eye and a shudder rips through me. It's bad enough, looking at him. How am I ever going to look my mama in the face again?

That whole scene was just...cringey.

Finally, Bodie says. "Cool. that's very...convenient. Thank you. I mean it. We'll meet you there." He stands up. He hold out his hand for me to grasp. "Let's go. We can know by morning."

I don't take his hand. "What if it's not you?" I mutter.

"Look at me."

He looks dark and scowly and kind of fierce, his face all shadowed from the dock light on the pole overhead. Then I see his bright white smile.

"Nothing changes, Darius. Not a goddamn thing," he says softly. "I love your mother. I love you. Gonna be with her. Gonna be there for you. As long as the good Lord lets me. Dad...stepdad...it doesn't really matter. But it's me, Darius. I know I'm your father. I know you're my son. Let's go prove it so you don't have to spaz over it."

I take his hand.