Chapter 88: Smart Girls Find Heaven

Marley A Year Later

I lie awake past two am, unused to the sounds of the new house. We just moved in a few days ago. It's an older place—in the style of a Belle Époque mansion. and it's a couple of miles from Leed's place, with a beautiful view of both the Hollywood sign and of downtown LA.

Belle Époque means beautiful period. That's certainly what it is, a beautiful time in our life. I think we've had more happiness in our first year of marriage than some people can hope for in their whole lives.

Bodie is back with a vengeance, and he's brought fun and energy and optimism and laughter and love like I've never known.

We honeymooned on the Cote d'Azur for about two weeks and then Darius met up with us, and we spent three months traveling Europe and North Africa.

Bodie said it was Darius' Welcome To Adulthood Gift. Even though he was only sixteen at the time, he had completed his course work for a high school degree and was about to embark on a career, so Bodie and I agreed, it was time to ramp up his life experiences. We showed him the world and the three of us had the time of our lives.

We went everywhere. Except for Ireland. It's really too bad, I'm sure it's a beautiful place, but we steered clear. Just in case.

It was wonderful. It was the first time I have ever witnessed Bodie perfectly relaxed and uncalculating. Every day was an exciting adventure and every day Bodie was a perfect companion, lover, friend, husband, father. I didn't think it was possible to be more in love with him after our year of love letters and therapy, but having Bodie as my husband quickly removed that idea.

There is simply no comparison to Bodie in the flesh.

The thought makes me reach out to him, but very lightly. He's dead asleep and I don't want to wake him. He has to be up early. Soundcrush has a video shoot—their first since the last poorly performing third album. This is a single—on a movie soundtrack—but the market research says it's going to be a huge hit.

If I lie here any longer, my wakeful presence might disturb his sleep, so I tip-toe gently from the room, planning to nurse my worries over a cup of tea downstairs.

I'm a little surprised to be confronted with Darius—bare-chested, barefoot, in nothing but athletic shorts—sneaking out of a bedroom door at the other end of the open air gallery.

That is not his suite—which is on the the third floor—but the guest room in which Gwen is staying.

His range of emotion at being caught coming out of her room at 2am is almost comical. A tremor of horror, a brief defiant flame, then a sheepish shrug.

I simply give a curt wave and motherly smile and head downstairs.

I'm making tea in the white matte kitchen, admiring the dark grout and remembering how Darius used to spill fruit punch that would run in the seams of Pat's white grout and stain it, when to my surprise, he appears—now wearing a shirt—and chooses a teabag for himself.

"Since when do you drink tea?" I ask, taking the kettle off before it whistles and pouring in our cups.

"Since Morocco. They had really good tea."

"That they did," I muse as I dunk my teabag, lost in thought.

We drink in silence until Darius says abruptly, "Are you upset? That Gwen and I...I mean...I figured you knew..."

I regard my seventeen year old son, who is tall and handsome and intelligent and caring and now, with the success of his album, successfully installed in a lucrative career. He is an adult in every way but chronologically.

"Upset? About you and Gwen? No, absolutely not. I didn't know for sure that you two had taken things to the next level, but I thought you guys seemed closer after her birthday..."

He rubs his face, embarrassed. "Jesus, is that the mom or the psychologist in you that can read things so well?"

"Both, when it comes to you," I smile. I pat his arm. "I have no issues here, as long as you are happy and Gwen is happy and you two are being careful, because I know you both have big plans..."

He nods at his tea. "Yeah, we're very happy and it's all good."

"Then I'm happy."

He lays a hand over mine. "Are you really?"

I look up at him sharply. "Why in the world would you ask me that? I am blissed to the max. I couldn't ask for a better life. Every thing is wonderful, for all three of us."

"Then what are you doing up in the middle of the night, frowning into your tea?"

"That's a question I'd also like the answer to," a sleepy Bodie says behind me as he shuffles to the kitchen island and pulls up a stool. Muscley, yawny, adorable, and sexy, he drapes himself around me and sighs into my neck. "Why the midnight family meeting?" He looks up, suddenly sharp. "Is he on drugs?"

He points a playful finger at Darius. "You better not be poppin' pills, boy. With your genetics you don't stand a chance in hell—"

"No pills," Darius laughs, forming an x with his hands.

"Shit, I know," Bodie huffs with a smile.

Bodie was only half joking with his mock accusation. Bodie has a pretty tolerant view of Darius' early adulthood—he doesn't mind if Darius has a beer here and there, but he is adamant that Darius cannot adopt a LA attitude about recreational drugs given the link between genetics and addiction. He frequently reminds Darius he's "disadvantaged, when it comes to partying."

I fully support that, but it's not a popular line in LA, even as parents. So far, Darius seems to be complying with our no serious partying rule. I think having Gwen as a girlfriend helps keep him grounded.

"So what's up?" Bodie presses.

Darius looks at me with a squinty eye. "Well, something else is up, I think, but there is the fact that mom caught me coming out of Gwen's room a half-hour ago..."

Bodie grunts. "So it's like that, now?"

"Yeah." Darius nods seriously.

"Treat her right," Bodie warns.

Darius grins at his dad. "I do, Dad. I love her."

"Shit, I know," Bodie repeats with a sleepy smile. His head is heavy on my shoulder. "So what's your worry, Mama? If it's that goddamn rep from the lights and staging company—"

"I'm pregnant," I blurt.

Bodie jerks his sleepy form from my shoulder. Darius, too, straightens into a surprised face.

Bodie swivels my barstool around. He face is a mixture of disbelief and tenderness and concern. "You're pregnant? You're sure?"

I bite my lip, blinking back tears as I nod.

"I thought you guys quit trying for now...I thought you were going to do the fertility doctor thing after my tour..." Darius says slowly looking back and forth.

"We did stop trying, three months ago," I gulp. "This is—"

"Very happy news," Bodie cuts me off swiftly, his bright white smile breaking. He looks unbelievably happy as he whispers, "I knew it would happen! A baby, Jaz!"

I smile. It is exactly what I wanted, until Darius' tour shifted my priorities back to our existing child, and not the one I had become mildly obsessed with conceiving for a year.

"A baby," I agree.

It's terrible timing, but it's definitely real. After all this time, I didn't believe the pregnancy test, so I went to the doctor yesterday, and I saw the tiny six week old fetus, with a squeezing, fuzzy little heartbeat.

"Jasmine..."

He draws me off the stool, cradling me with one arm, putting another on my lower belly. His mouth meets mine and sparkles like champagne.

I melt into Bodie's kiss, but when it ends I can hardly bear to look at Darius. His silence, his reluctance feels very much like disapproval. I promised him I would handle everything for the tour, his first time out. He's looking at his tea, not at our tender celebration.

"I'm sorry," I whisper hoarsely. "I know it's a complication for your tour..."

"It will be fine," Bodie says adamantly. "Doc Gorgeous will still be Doc Gorgeous growin' a baby, and if you need to take a break, Riley and Ariadne can make Darius' tour work. Hell, I will make it work. Dadager is just as good as a momager," he grins at Darius.

"You have an album to record this year..." Darius mumbles.

"That's all gone to shit now, with Leed going from one kid to three, and Trace and Kat's...issues," Bodie says dismissively. "Soundcrush is gonna go Hollywood for a minute. Appearances, promos, a single here and there, maybe a few tv credits or something. No new album, no big tour until everybody's head is in the game. We can't have another miss like the last album. So I'm as unemployed as a famous rock star can get for the next year or so. We can make this work, Darius. Your mom and I, and you and your career, and your new baby brother or sister..."

Darius blinks. "Wow. I'm going to be a big brother."

"A very big brother," Bodie laughs. "A giant brother." He slings his hand up to Darius, who now has two inches on him.

Darius's grin forms sweetly, slowly, breaking over his nod.

"A baby?" Gwen's soft voice murmurs as she appears in the doorway, pulling her hair back into a ponytail. She smiles like an angel at me. "Really?" she crosses the floor quickly and hugs me. "Marley, that's wonderful. I prayed so much for you."

Bodie hugs us both. "Seems like our little family just keeps growing, Gwennie. Let's keep the population stable at the five of us for awhile, okay?"

"Oh my god, Dad!" Darius groans. "Are you kidding me?"

Gwennie laughs at Darius. "Relax, D. You know, Bodie, training to ride steeplechase in the Olympics and pregnancy definitely do not mix. You don't have to worry about me...I got goals other than a Rockstar BabyDaddy."

"Good girl," Bodie pats her back, then "Jesus Christ, Jasmine...what if this baby is a girl?I don't know if I'm ready for a daughter. Lennon is a handful..."

#

Eight Months Later

"I can't believe people are ever this little," Darius murmurs as he hovers over the bassinet in the keeping room off the kitchen. "Can I...can I hold her?"

"Of course," I breathe from my place on the couch. My heart feels large and tender in my chest as I watch Darius tentatively lift his sister for the first time. She starts to mewl and immediately Bodie swoops from nowhere, putting one hand on Darius' shoulder and patting our daughter lightly on the bottom.

"She likes this. See?" Bodie murmurs as she quiets, probably more from the sound of his voice as much as the gently patting. In her two days, Bodie has yet to be unable to soothe her with his calm, caressing voice. "Violet, go easy on your brother, okay? Don't scare him off, we need him to babysit..."

Chuckles by the dozens spread like contagion around the room. We've been home from the hospital less than four hours. A caterer I didn't order showed up with silver chafing dishes of food from The Bliss Bowl  and SCIC followed.  Wine and beer are flowing from somewhere discreet—probably the back of Trace's car. Apparently, childbirth in SCIC is like everything else.

An excuse to party.

Darius sits down beside me with Violet, looking from her to me in the consuming way I'm much more used to seeing his dad watch me. "Are you okay? I've never seen you look so...wiped out."

"I'm fine, Darius. Just tired. Having a baby does that."

"Well, you can rest and let all these people that won't go home take care of you," he grins at our houseful.

Adam is strumming "Miracle" by the Foo Fighters on a guitar and telling Ollie and Lennon and Cash the story of how Cash got his special song the day his parents found him and knew he was their miracle.

"What's my special song?" Ollie demands from his dad.

"Wild Child," Leed says without hesitation, and Adam immediately drops down into a funky fingering of the Doors song, as Leed sings to a beer bottle.

Wild Child full of grace

Savior of the human race

Your cool face

Natural Child, terrible child

Not your mother's or your father's child...

Your our child, screaming wild

Ollie runs at Leed full speed. "I am your child..."

Leed slings him into the air. "Of course, Little Man. I was just kidding around. You are definitely my child. You're just like me,no one is as much like me as you..." Leed hugs him tight and exchanges an expression of regret with Ashlynn. Ollie, at not quite five, is still struggling with jealousy over his three new siblings.

"Come on, let's wash your hands so you can meet your baby cousin, then maybe you and I will take off, and go somewhere fun? Just you and me?" Leed tells him.

"Kay." Ollie nods firmly. While Leed washes his hands, he asks, "Why's her name Violet? She's not purple."

"Her name is Violet..." Bodie lifts Ollie from Leed and brings him to sit beside Darius, "because Violet is not just a color, it's also a pretty flower, and my special name for Marley is Jasmine, which is a pretty flower, too. Both my girls are beautiful flowers." Ollie climbs up on his knees and leans over Darius' shoulder.

"Lyra and Lucy aren't so quiet," he says.

"No, they aren't," Darius smiles. "But they are busy big girls, and Violet is brand new."

Ollie looks up into Darius face with pity. "I'm sorry for you. It's not that fun being a big brother."

Darius blinks, and then his eyes find Luis across the room, whom he give a chin tip. As Luis approaches, Darius says,

"I'm sorry you think being a big brother is not that fun, but maybe you aren't thinking of it quite right, Ol..."

"Aah. Darius is right." Luis pulls up an ottoman and sits in front of us all. It's a little strange how Luis is younger than Darius, but still, despite Darius' rather advanced maturity, Luis is much much older in every way. "It's your job to make being a big brother fun. Like last week, when we hid all the girls stuffed animals for them to find. That was fun, wasn't it?"

Ollie nods slowly. "Yeah, pretty fun."

"And that was your idea. See? Big brothers make the fun." He holds out a fist, and Ollie bumps it with a reluctant grin.

"Mmmmm. Okay. Maybe. Bye, Cuz," he whispers and pats Violet's blanket. He gives Darius a shrug. "Good luck."

Darius and Luis snicker as Ollie hops down and runs over to Ashlynn. "Can you come, too? Just you and me and Daddy, like it used to be?"

Ashlynn beams at him. "Sure, Ollie-Pop. Let me just call the nanny and tell her we will be home later..."

Everyone takes their cue from the Lawson's departure to begin leaving. Riley assures us extra staff have been magicked to clean up the mess. Adam and Mac tell us for the millionth time that the nanny I hired to start in a month is not enough, that I need a night nurse now. That's not happening—there's no way a stranger is whisking my baby away in the middle of the night, like they took Darius from me— but I just smile at their advice.

Trace lingers after the rest have gone. He takes Violet from Darius and boots him and Luis out the door, telling them to go be young, then sits down on the ottoman in front of me, inspecting my daughter like he can find the answers to all the mysteries of the universe in her slumber.

"She's beautiful, but she's so breakable," he says softly as Bodie sits down beside me. Trace meets Bodie's eyes with a genuinely worried look.

"How does the world not scare the bejesus out of you, now that she's in it?"

Bodie kicks his legs out on the ottoman beside Trace. "It kinda...does. But nobody ever said being a father was for chickenshits. You put your rock star on and you play the fuck out of that dad gig, you know?"

Soft laughter eases the tense set of Trace's eyes. "Okay, I feel ya..."

"Ah, you'll take his advice, but blow me off when I told you the same damn thing?" MdM says softly as he strolls in through the back door.

Bodie shoots me a look. Leed warned us being neighbors with Matt means he walks right in, despite gates and security. The guards just always assume he's invited.

He shakes Bodie's hand in the old-school way, kisses the top of my head, "Don't get up..." and leans over Trace, inspecting my daughter.

"She's as gorgeous as her mama, and a fine addition to my Bandgrands," Matt nods at Violet with approval. "Your new baby gift is outside."

"Matt—" I say with exasperation.

"Custom order, can't send it back, Doc," Matt points at me.

This is the third custom touring bus Matt has bought SCIC. He bought Madam one years ago before Lennon was born, Lash had one waiting when they got back from Costa Rica as a family of five, and now we have one, too.

"I put the order for yours in when I picked this one up," Matt says to Trace with a grin.

"Fuck," Trace mutters, but he's grinning as he hands my daughter to me. "Violet is making this shit real, all of the sudden. I need a drink," he says to Matt.

"What are you telling me for?" Matt shrugs. "You know I'm off the sauce for good now..."

"I know, I know. You're sober, I'm glad. But Row and Bridge are nowhere around,  Soundcrush is family times..."

"Maybe it's time you just grow up...and not deal with your fears by drinking..." Matt shrugs.

"Says the man who didn't grow up til fifty-five."

"True that," Matt is steering Trace toward the back door. "You know...Street's home..."

"Goddamn, reduced to drinking with my brother..." Trace pauses at the door, looking back at us. "Congratulations, guys." He puts his right hand over his heart. "Nobody deserves happiness like you two. I mean it. I'm over the moon for you."

Then he chucks deuces with his right hand, and the band that is a wedding ring but on the wrong hand flashes.

"Kat sends her love and congratulations...I gotta get back to her. Pronto. Imma have to take that drink with Street on the way," he winks.

"Sure thing, brother," Bodie nods. "Thanks very much for the excessively expensive baby gift, Old Man."

"Can't take it with me," Matt winks as he and Trace stroll out.

Leaving Bodie and I alone in our home with our daughter for the first time. Violet blinks up at me. Her eyes are shiny purpley-gray and so big and pretty for a newborn. Like she got extra big ones to take in the great big world she's been born into.

I feel like sobbing. From joy. From exhaustion. From the same kind of fear Trace admits to.

I'm pretty sure Bodie can smell the salt of my tears before they fall, because one arm slides over my shoulder and another beneath our daughter.

"Cry if you're happy, but don't cry for anything else. Everything is perfect, Jasmine. We are all together and no one and no thing is going to disturb that. You're not going to wake up to find Violet or Darius or me ripped from you."

He understands without me telling him that my labor and delivery was a trigger for the memories of waking up in prison, my baby simply...gone.

"I'm so happy. It's just hard to believe how perfect everything is right now...I guess because..."

"Last time you delivered our child, it was anything but. I know, Baby. We can't change that, but we can savor every bit of sweetness now."

I relax against him, a few tears falling, but the overwhelm eased by his warm, solid strength. I'm almost asleep when Bodie pats beneath my arm where he's cradling Violet, returning me to alertness.

"Look..."

Violet's mouth is working and a tiny fist is coming up to her face. Bodie chuckles softly. "I know what that means already. Sorry Mama, no nap for you just yet. She's hungry." He looks at me speculatively. "I bet you are, too..."

Actually, I am starving. Everything has been such a whirlwind, I think I've only eaten one light meal since Violet was born two days ago. "I can wait," I smile as I prepare to feed her. "She can't."

"Nah. You feed her, I'll feed you. Then we can nap." He kisses me gently before he rises. "I love you, Doctor Marley Gorgeous Jasmine Jamison. And you, Violet Skye." He touches her cheek with a knuckle. He swallows heavily, his gaze burning into me.  "Heaven, right here."

My very being vibrates with love as I watch Bodie perform the mundane task of spooning Thai onto a plate. He's right.

Our life is big and complicated, and it will eventually ramp back up to rock star, but for right now...here is heaven. Quiet, simple, tender, loving care.

###

Sniff. Sniff. Sniff. I can't believe it. This is all the Soundcrush story I have to tell for right now, folks. I want to give you an Epilogue in this book, though. Like a BIG flash forward Epilogue. I can't see it yet--probably because I don't want to write the REAL end.... so be patient.

Now....don't despair that we are here so close to the end after a year and half of Soundcrush updates.  You can tell from hints in the last chapter that there is a Kat and Trace story left to tell...obviously there were some issues  getting them down the aisle, but it looks like they made it and might possibly be considering (or anticipating?) parenthood...we can't tell, right? I've got all that story up in my head for ya, but I think it might belong in a del Marco spin off series, which probably won't begin until I finish at least one (maybe two) other standalone projects I'm working on for Wattpad. Patience please!!!

Thank you so all my wonderful readers, and all my Soundcrush Superfans. I love you all so much.