The Boy

I sauntered through the large chamber doors, despite my heart was beating rapidly. My chest felt tightened; as if little green men crawled in and through the spaces between my bones; knotting it with chain. The wind whisked through the strands of my hair as I grew to feel more drawn in. My eyes dilated as the dark felt gruesome, I clenched my fists as I tried to hold back the alarming sounds of whimpering that had been caught inside of my throat. The hallway of the large house was darkened, until it gradually faded into light, Alas! I saw an opening at the other end, the rays of light had reached to my eyesight. I slowly walked, my feet dragged themselves as if I wanted to go, but from the inside of myself I was not quite sure. Such emotion was brought to me, tears fell even though I wasn't aware. I have always been an emotional child. My mentor before he had disappeared, he told me multiple times, " Stop crying child! You are having emotion as if you are building up feeling like a demonic spirit. Calm yourself, drink some tea, and be quiet. Never make a sound. Your future husband will die of worrying because of such emotion. Be still. And do not show too much emotion." Again as I child I currently am, I didn't know what he had meant. As a girl and a child, was I not allowed to become prejudice as soon I will become a woman? Am I not allowed to have emotion; only to care for my children and future husband, my betrothed?

I then shook my head to the thought as I had reached to the other side of the opening. I had reached a villainous light of another bright forest and part of land, my eyes widened. My feeling was starting to make more sense. I gained a sense of hope.

I walked through the pathway, it had led me, as the trees stood beside me again, just like the time I first walked towards the large house with my mentor. I then again began to think about him and what he would have said or thought about me. Was I allowed to feel worry? Am I allowed to feel emotion at this current moment? Are the trees guiding me and is this the pathway, the one that I'm currently walking on, is this going to guide me to my fate? I then thought of what my mentor would have said self-consciously.

"You are on your own now." The voice interrupted. A different voice had overtaken my thoughts. I was trying to focus on what my mentor would say, but I couldn't think. Then again I had thought of the idea of my mentor giving me false ideas. He wanted me to think just like everyone else. He wanted me to become a servant girl and then a wife of a villager just like every other girl who was born to be. This is no longer my calling. Hence- I was confused. Why am I thinking this? So many thoughts and wonders had soon taken over me- until the voice continued.

"You are your own self. Be free! You do not belong with the humans.... Follow yourself. You are welcome here now. You belong here. No longer there... This is where you are meant to be. Your path is here. Your happiness is hidden and for you to discover. You will soon see why." The voice had trickled against my ear as I started to walk further. I had no longer sense of worrying. Why was I even worried at all? I wasn't quite sure.

The voice spoke to me once more. It warned me to be aware that my transition from the human to the spirit world was unknown. Yet it was for me to find out. It had also told me to be careful about trying to fit in. There may be some awkward occurrences including important encounters. I agreed, and then the voice drifted away and no longer bothered me again. Tears began to dry away. Gradually I began to look different. I was no longer a child. My hair length was shorter. My cheekbones were placed higher, and my shoulders and neck grew a couple inches as my height did as well. Why was this? Was I no longer a child anymore?

The thoughts had soon drifted away again as I was now inside another village. I smelled food, the air was warmer, and there were green hills. There were statues of spirits everywhere. Some were tall with long faces while others were short and bulky, and the water of rivers flowed under bridges. The sky was azure. Clouds looked rather thin like silk, the grass was long yet felt short as you walked further. Everything was so much what felt like a dream, yet it wasn't. I felt like this was real, and I now feel longing to begin this life.

As I walked further, no spirits were found. Signs were placed against carts and shops, conveying the hours. It was foreign to me. Like a language that I have never saw before. It looked much like calligraphy, wording that had been created with the finest hands. I had much to learn. I continued to walk further once more, walking across shops and monuments. I looked out towards another opening of a patch of long grass. I looked out towards my left; large houses were placed all around. They were not hotels, and not like any other place. They were the homes of spirits. They had looked like dorms, each spirit belonged inside each one as so it had seemed. But I was still in shock. Where was I? I continued to ponder my mind as I had questioned my train of thought. I am appalled.

Suddenly someone or something had grabbed my hand.

"Excuse me..." The voice whisked against my neck. I looked over. It was a young boy, nearly the same age as me.

He looked down at his feet and then tilted his head upwards. His eyes looked into mine. They were reassuring; two little sapphires gazed upon me, I had suddenly felt calm just by being near him. I felt so... The feeling was absolutely indescribable. I was also alarmed by his sudden appearance, my face reddened.

"Erm...Yes?" I replied.

He looked up; his hair was in his eyes. I laughed as he tried to blow his hair out of his eyes; his bangs were much too long. I wanted to give him a haircut even though his hair had suited him.

"Something told me to come out here... So... I did..." He said, his words were too soft. He sounded very monotonous. I was curious to know why he did come to me. He seemed very quiet, I could tell that he had nothing much to say. Either had I.

He sighed. He stood and looked under his shoes, and looked up and around them. I stood there feeling lost, and awkward. Hopefully I wasn't boring him- until he looked up once more and placed his hands in his pockets.

" I don't really know... Sorry I just kind of... Was bored." He tried to explain, and all I could do was laugh. He chuckled a bit, and his smile was very warm, I was happy to have met him. He made me feel very calm, and very welcome. My worries had finally drifted away.

We still stood there, until finally I had the courage to say something.

"So who are you, and where am I? I feel so lost... I'm sorry..." I sniffed a bit as I had wondered where I was. I started to feel scared. He looked at me as his eyebrows scrunched- as if he had no idea on what I just said. After a brief moment he spoke.

"Err well... This is where spirits are I guess. I'm here because I kind of have to, I mean I don't know... I was supposed to become human but then I couldn't. I look human... Um of course- but I'm kind of stuck here. I don't know why though. But I don't get who you are either-but you seem different too just like me. Um... Yeah." He finished what he said with a soft grunt. I was so confused; I didn't know where to go either, really.

After seeing that I had been lost, he was kind enough to offer a place to stay. He pointed towards one of the large houses. I was really curious to know what they were, so I asked him.

" Okay well they are houses, I mean you know. But um I kind of have to be there. I work there too. Even though I don't want to... But the person who gave birth to me, she's there, and she told me that I have to stay there too. Sometimes she lets me out. Like just now she told me to get some water. But I forgot my bucket..." He continued after he paused a bit, it was made apparent that he rarely ever spoke. " I have to work hard though. If I want to be someone important or something I have to gain respect. But I feel tired all the time... But yeah... I try."

He seemed weary; I asked him if he was so. He said no, he was just fatigued. Even though it most certainly didn't feel like it. He felt melancholy; I soon began to feel the same way. Somehow I want to be near him, I longed to be around him. It was as if something was telling me to guide him. To find him some sort of remedy.

I had asked him if he wanted to head back towards the house and help me stay there. He said sure, just lets find a way to get some water first.We walked down towards a small creek at the end of the village. Along the way he told me about himself that was rather acute; and lacked detail. He was too shy to share anything else. Silently I listened, but I had interpreted that he was hiding something about himself so he wouldn't be obscure or something of the sort. The woman that gave birth to him just recently had two small babies, and they were twins. He mentioned a bit that he was always doing things. Working all the time. He didn't want to speak much of where he lived either. But he felt bad about me feeling lost, so he let me in on a place to stay.

We reached to the creek. I remembered how to build a bucket out of straw. He grabbed some straw from the field. One by one I weaved in and out to create the texture of the bucket. I had to endeavor to tie very closely, so there were no holes for the water to seep through. He watched me as I worked. Again he talked. He solely ever peeped; so I had to jest in order to keep the conversation going. Although It felt like rambling, I intended to talk until he had grown accustomed to me. He seemed to like to talk to me, which increased positive feeling until after a couple of hours of getting to know each other I finished the bucket.

"Now try it out." I gave the bucket to him. The bucket was very tight he said, and he was sure that it would work. He slipped the bucket into the water until it was full and then drought it out. A little water seeped through but not excessively, we began our trek. He was very grateful, because if he would have went back just for the bucket he would get caught in doing even more things which would make him feel even more worn down. Again we talked more and more, and I made him jest. I wanted this to never end. Although I had just met him, somehow it had felt like I have forever and always knew him. I didn't want this feeling I had as I had just by being next to him to never go away. Not even for a million years in the spirit world.