Tragic: Chapter 20

“We’re heading out!” Kaine’s voice rang down the hallway.

“Wait!” I yelled, hiking up the band of my maternity jeans as I came out of the bathroom.

When you had to go every three minutes, pants like this were a must. My plan was to keep enjoying the abundance of spandex and Lycra for as long as possible post-pregnancy too.

I had the huge band back in place as I came down the hallway.

Kaine was grinning as he stood by the door. He had his winter coat on and a beanie over his hair. He wore knee-high snow boots that laced all the way up his calves. They made his already bulging thighs look even beefier.

A shiver ran down my spine as I walked into his arms. He wrapped me up, kissing my hair before whispering in my ear, “Marry me.”

“No,” I whispered back.

He grunted. I’d decided it was his way of cussing without words.

It had been a month since he’d told me about his brother and asked to marry me the first time. He must have asked at least three hundred times since.

And each time, I’d turned him down.

I stepped out of his arms and looked up at his handsome face. “Please watch out for creatures with big teeth.”

“It’s winter. Most of them are asleep.” He patted the holstered pistol on his hip. “But I have this just in case.”

“Stop worrying, Piper. We’re not going far.” Logan walked over from the kitchen, wearing attire similar to Kaine’s. Though his pants didn’t have a dark stain on the knee from the wood shop, and his coat was rip-free.

I looked back up at Kaine. “Make sure my boss doesn’t get lost in the woods.”

“You say that like you’d actually miss me.” Logan feigned shock. “Does this mean you’ve finally realized how much you need me?”

“Only to sign my paychecks. But I’m this close to perfecting your signature.” I held my thumb and index finger an inch apart. “After that, you’re dispensable.”

Logan laughed and rolled his eyes. “Let’s go, Charlie!”

His daughter came running out of the guest bathroom, zipping up her black snow bibs. Thea followed behind her, carrying a neon-green winter coat that matched her snow boots.

“Happy hunting, guys.” The three of them were heading up toward the ridge to cut down a couple of Christmas trees.

“Logan Kendrick, I’m begging you to get a reasonable tree this year.” Thea tugged a gray stocking cap over Charlie’s head. “Six feet. Seven, tops. I can’t have another ten footer like last year’s.”

“Sure, baby. We’ll get a smaller one.” Logan winked at Charlie, who winked back. He’d be coming back with a nine-and-a-half-foot tree, no doubt.

“Don’t do that winking thing with each other.” Thea crossed her arms. “I won’t decorate anything over the seven-foot mark.”

“I’ll do it,” Charlie chimed in.

“Problem solved.” Logan kissed Thea’s cheek and shuffled Charlie outside into the snow.

“I’m doomed.” Thea laughed, going to check on Collin and Camila, who were playing in the living room.

“Do you have any requirements?” Kaine asked.

“Green.”

“Done.” Kaine brushed another kiss on my lips. “Love you.”

“Love you too. Be safe.”

About three weeks ago, he’d seen signs of a mountain lion around the area during a hike. I liked cats, but cougars were not on my list of animals to see up close and personal. Kaine had called the game warden to come up and see if they could relocate the animal, but their search had turned up empty.

There hadn’t been any signs since and it was unlikely the animal would come anywhere near us, but Kaine wasn’t taking any chances. Which meant any time I went outside, even to check the mailbox, he was my escort. He’d also decided we were getting a dog—one the size of a wolf.

But for now, Kaine carried his pistol with him everywhere and they weren’t wandering far from home.

With axes in hand, Kaine and Logan set out up the trail toward the ridge. Charlie trudged behind them, dragging a blue sled so she could collect her own mini tree for her bedroom. I waved at them all, then closed the door before too much cold air could seep inside.

“How are you doing?” Thea asked as I sat on the couch beside her.

“Good.” I rubbed my obliques. For once in my life, they were rock solid. “Things are starting to get tight though, and I can’t tie my shoes anymore. Kaine’s been sweet and puts them on for me.”

“Has he kept up with the proposals?”

I smiled. “He asks me at least five times a day. He even upped his game last night and produced a ring.”

“What!” Her eyes got wide. “Where is it?”

“I’m not sure. When I said no, he pouted and hid it somewhere. But it is gorgeous.”

He’d bought me an eternity band. The entire thing was made up of diamond halos set in rose gold, and it was truly a piece of art. The stones weren’t enormous and the ring wouldn’t weigh heavily on my finger. I didn’t need a huge jewel to flaunt or dazzle people with its brilliance. It was the perfect ring because it was just so . . . Kaine.

It was understated but powerful, much like his furniture. It was simple and beautiful, much like our relationship.

“So he keeps asking you to marry him,” Thea said. “He loves you. You love him. He bought you a ring. Remind me why you keep saying no?”

“We need time.” I shifted on the couch, trying to get comfortable.

“Just to play devil’s advocate here, is that because you don’t think you’d accept after you got to know him?”

“Logan is rubbing off on you,” I teased. “He thinks playing devil’s advocate is the best job ever.”

“Right?” She laughed.

“But no, to answer your question. I want to marry Kaine. I love him more than I’ve ever loved another person.”

This real love, this deep and profound feeling of being with the one, wasn’t something I’d understood with Adam. We hadn’t had true love, we’d had convenience. It had been easier to stay together than break apart. Adam and I had been content but never truly happy. Never truly in love. We’d never had the passion I had for Kaine.

I wanted to make an everlasting commitment with Kaine.

Just not yet.

“I want time for things to settle.” I blew out a long breath as one of the babies pushed against a rib. “There is no rush. I’m not walking down the aisle pregnant, so we can enjoy this time together and just . . . be.”

I didn’t want any new labels slapped on us right now. Wife. Husband. We’d get to those in time. First, I wanted some time to just accept things as they were. Label-free. Then, we’d tackle being parents. After that, we could decide what was right for our family. Together.

The past month since Kaine had confessed everything about his brother had arguably been the best thirty days of my life. And without secrets looming and me pushing Kaine too hard to reveal them, it was the best month the two of us had ever had together.

Kaine laughed and talked to me while we made dinner. He touched me and kissed my hair while we were watching TV. He held me in his arms at night with one arm under my head and another resting over my belly.

He was proving to me his love, whether he knew it or not. His simple gestures, like taking out the trash or making me bedtime tea or massaging my lower back when it ached, were more meaningful than any of the marriage proposals.

“I know it seems crazy,” I told Thea. “But things between Kaine and I have gone so fast from the beginning. When I was with Adam, we dated for years before we got married. I knew all about him. And that didn’t turn out well, but there’s something to be said for knowing what kind of toothpaste your partner likes best. Or how much cereal they eat in the morning. Or how long it takes them to shower. I just want to know Kaine and settle in together before the boys are born.”

Thea nodded. “That makes sense.”

“We’re getting there. And it’s been nice living together.”

A few days after Kaine’s confession, I’d come home from working the morning at Logan’s to find everything from the cabin here. The coffee table from the cabin was in the living room, the one I’d bought now at the cabin. His clothes were in my closet, his tennis shoes and boots were next to my heels. And he’d declared the garage was now his domain.

He hadn’t asked me to move in, he’d just done it. Because this was our life. Our home.

“Has he told you more about his brother?” Thea asked.

“Some.” I nodded. “It’s hard for him to talk about.”

Though he was talking about Isaiah. To me. It was by far the best of the simple gestures he’d made over the last month. I trusted him to talk when he was ready. He trusted me to listen. He trusted himself not to go into a rage.

He still got angry whenever he spoke about his brother, but he kept himself in check. There were no porch chairs hacked to pieces. No dishes had been shattered on the floor. Kaine would ball his fists and pace the room as he spoke through gritted teeth, but he wouldn’t shut down.

I didn’t blame him for his anger, and I understood why he’d kept it all from me. The way his muscles would bunch and his normally loving eyes would turn cold, he was a different man when that pain and anger took over.

He didn’t trust himself when he was so mad, but I did. Kaine would sooner cut off his own hand than lift it to me in anger.

“He’s so hurt, Thea. About his brother and all that happened. I wish there was something I could do to help him find some peace.”

Thea knew all about Kaine’s past. He’d shocked me by suggesting I share it all with a friend. He didn’t want me carrying the burden alone, and while his tendency was to keep things bottled up, he knew I wasn’t wired that way. So he’d driven me down to the bar one afternoon and left me there to eat pizza and confide in Thea.

“Logan and his sister went through a rough time right after we got together.”

“I remember that,” I told her.

Thea sighed. “I don’t know if I handled it right or not, but I just tried to be supportive. I let him vent when he needed to get his frustrations off his chest. And when they eventually made amends, I never held anything against her.”

Logan’s younger sister, Sofia, was a spoiled brat. Or at least, she had been. Logan had told me that Sofia had been trying harder lately to become more responsible. She was finally growing up.

But the issues between Kaine and his brother were in an entirely different stratosphere than the squabbles Logan had with Sofia.

“I doubt Kaine will ever forgive Isaiah. Making amends isn’t something I think he’ll be able to do. And I don’t blame him for it. But I do want him to find some peace with it. Not for Isaiah’s sake, just his own.”

The death of his daughter had tainted all of Kaine’s memories of Isaiah. I didn’t expect the brothers to work through their issues, especially while Isaiah was in prison, but I did want Kaine to get some closure.

“It’ll fade,” Thea promised. “You have these babies. You two live your life. The anger will fade.”

“I hope you’re right.” I smiled, then shook off my heavy heart. “Are you guys all set for Christmas?”

“Ready as I’ll ever get. Logan’s family gets here next week so that’s always hectic. But it will be nice to see everyone. When does your family arrive?”

“Same. Next week. I’m really excited to see them. This year has gone by so quickly with the move and the remodel. Then everything with Kaine and this pregnancy. It feels like I haven’t seen them for years, not months.”

I’d never been this excited for a Christmas as an adult. One nice thing about having Kaine’s cabin empty was it gave my parents a nice getaway spot for their two-and-a-half-week vacation. My brother would sleep in the guest room here when he arrived the following week.

“Is Kaine nervous about meeting them?”

I shrugged. “If he is, he’s not telling me. I think he’s more nervous that his mom has a nice time.”

Suzanne was coming up on Christmas Eve to spend the holiday with us. She’d had three years of holidays without her children. When we’d called to invite her up, she’d been so happy we were including her in the festivities that she’d cried.

He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but Kaine was overjoyed too. He’d been busy this last week making her Christmas gifts. He’d built Suzanne these beautiful wooden cutting boards and candleholders. I think he was anxious to show her how his talent had grown over these last three years.

My phone on the coffee table chimed. I groaned, summoning the energy to get up. Getting off the couch was as difficult as hot yoga these days. And I’d end up just as sweaty.

“Don’t.” Thea stopped me, handing over the phone. “Here you go.”

“Thank you. Speak of the devil.” Suzanne’s name was on the screen. “Hi, Suzanne.”

“Hi, Piper.” Her voice sounded off, not as cheery as when she normally talked to Kaine and me. There was a whirring in the background too, like she was driving. “Is Kaine there?”

“He went out hiking to get us a Christmas tree and didn’t take his phone. Is everything all right?”

“I need to talk to him. And I’m so sorry, but I won’t be able to come up for Christmas.”

“What? He’s so excited you’re coming.”

“I was excited too.” She sniffled. “But I won’t be able to come now. I, um . . . I just really need to talk to Kaine.”

“I can have him call you as soon as he comes back.”

“Thank you. And I’m so sorry to be missing your family. Please give them my best.”

“O-okay,” I said, stunned. “Bye.”

She hung up, and I turned to Thea. “Well, that was weird. Kaine’s mom isn’t coming for Christmas after all.”

“Why not?”

I shook my head. “She wouldn’t say. Which was the odd part. But it sounded like she was upset and driving someplace. Kaine needs to call her.”

“Do you want me to go and find them?” Thea offered.

“No. I doubt they’ll be gone too long. She didn’t say it was an emergency so we’ll just give it time.”

I summoned the energy to push myself off the couch, then I went to the kitchen and made the kids a snack, getting Thea and me each a bottle of this delicious cream soda I’d found at the grocery store.

Suzanne’s phone call put a damper on my time with Thea and the kids. As we watched them play, my eyes were constantly drifting to the door. Finally, an hour and a half later, it opened and three red-nosed and huffing faces came inside.

“Daddy!” Collin raced across the room to his dad.

Thea was right on her son’s heels, peering around them to see the trees outside. Her face fell into a frown when she saw the massive tree strapped on top of their SUV. Its tip hung over the front windshield and the trunk extended well past the bumper.

“Seriously, gorgeous. You’re killing me.” As she rolled her eyes, Logan just grinned as he stomped the snow from his boots.

Kaine grinned as he came inside. The tree he’d gotten for us was propped against the house. Frost on his beard wet my skin as he bent to kiss my cheek. “I’ll put it in a stand later this afternoon.”

“Okay.” I nodded, though the excitement for our first Christmas tree had also dimmed because of Suzanne’s call. I stepped out of the way so they could all come inside.

Thea helped Charlie out of her snow gear as the guys shrugged off their coats.

“Your mom called a while ago,” I told Kaine as he pulled off his hat. “She wants you to call her, but she said she can’t come for Christmas.”

“What?” His forehead furrowed. “Why not?”

“She didn’t say.”

He frowned, then walked over to the kitchen to get his phone. His boots left small globs of snow along the wooden floor. He lifted my bottle of cream soda off the island and took a sip, then grimaced. “I don’t know how you can drink this. It’s liquid sugar.”

“It’s yummy.” I rubbed my belly where the babies were jiving. “Your boys love it.”

His eyes softened, then he dialed up Suzanne and said hello. But his good mood fled as she spoke, and his shoulders stiffened.

Thea and I shared a look as she guided the kids through the living room to give him some quiet.

While they sat at the dining room table, I walked to Kaine and leaned against the counter, trying to catch his gaze. But he was silently fuming, his grip on my soda bottle getting dangerously tight.

“What’s wrong?” I whispered, but he ignored me.

The next moment, Suzanne must have said something shocking. His entire body flinched before stringing as tight as a rubber band.

Had someone died? Was Suzanne having health problems? My mind was imagining bad scenarios, one right after the other, when Kaine slammed the bottle in his hand down on the granite island. The bottle shattered, sending fizzing soda and glass shards flying.

I jumped and the kids screamed at the deafening noise.

Logan came my way with worry etched on his face. He stood by my side, but I kept my focus on Kaine.

“He was supposed to get five years,” he gritted into the phone.

My heart dropped. This was about his brother.

Suzanne’s voice grew louder on the phone, her pleas coming through loud enough for me to hear. “Kaine, please. Don’t get angry.”

“He deserves to be punished!” Kaine roared. “But I see nothing has changed. You’re still taking his side.”

Thea scooped up Camila and grabbed Collin’s hand, nodding for Charlie to follow her out of the dining room and down the hallway to the other side of the house. Logan watched them go, then refocused on Kaine as he inched closer to my side.

“No,” Kaine snapped. “He earned two more years for what he did. And to hell with you both if you’re going to defend him. I’m done with all this. You. Him. And if the justice system isn’t going to teach him a lesson, if his own mother won’t hold him responsible, then maybe I’ll teach him that lesson myself. He killed my daughter!”

My heart raced frantically at his words. Kaine had never threatened anyone before, and he’d never talked about revenge or retribution. Rage rolled over his shoulders, filling the kitchen like a dark fog. His hatred infected the air, chilling it to ice.

This was the side of Kaine he’d been trying to hide. The man out of control and so full of anger he was blind to the world around him.

Maybe if I touched him, I’d be able to bring him back.

I stepped closer, lifting a hand to Kaine’s forearm, but with one long stride, he paced out of my reach. Before I could take another, Logan gripped my elbow and held me back.

And then the phone went flying across the room. It crashed into the thick, wooden door and fell with a loud clang.

“Kaine,” I gasped. “What happened?”

He didn’t say a word. The look in his eyes was feral as he swiped his truck keys from the dish on the counter and went right for the door. He stepped on his phone with a boot heel and destroyed it completely.

“Kaine!” I wanted to rush after him, but I wasn’t wearing shoes and the floor was covered in glass from the broken soda bottle. If I could just touch him, if I could just get him to look at me, he’d calm down. He’d take a breath and snap back to reality.

But he was on a mission, striding out the door and into the cold without a backward glance.

“Kaine!” Logan called after him too, but it did no good.

Kaine’s truck engine rumbled to life. Then he was gone.

I sidestepped a piece of glass, only to step on a smaller one. “Damn it!”

“Where’s he going?” Logan asked.

“I don’t know.” I picked the glass off my foot and backed away. I ran my hands through my hair. “I don’t know. Maybe to drive around and blow off some steam. Or . . .” My stomach fell. “Or he’s going to confront his brother.”

I might not have heard the entire conversation, but it didn’t take much to piece it together. Isaiah had been released from prison. Or he was being released. Suzanne wasn’t coming to Christmas here because she’d be spending it with her other son.

I went to my phone and pulled up Suzanne’s number. It rang immediately to voicemail. I tried it again, only with the same result.

If Kaine was going to find Isaiah, I had to get there first. I had to stop him. But I had no idea where Suzanne lived or where I could find them.

“I need your help,” I told Logan.

“Anything.”

“I need to find out where Kaine’s mother lives. I need to know when his brother, Isaiah Reynolds, was released from prison. What time. Where. Any information you can get me.”

“I’ll call Sean.” Logan whipped out his phone, dialing his personal assistant’s number. Sean had been a systems hacker in his former life before Logan had hired him. He’d get answers to my questions and then some in a matter of minutes.

While Logan talked on the phone, I rushed to the hall closet, pulling on some shoes and a coat. Just as I was zipping it over my belly, Thea came rushing to my side.

“What’s happening? Are you okay?”

I shook my head. “I have to go after Kaine.”

“Is that safe?”

“He won’t hurt me. He just needs to calm down.”

This wasn’t like his panic attack, where Kaine had needed space to come to terms with the changes in our life. This was something else, something I’d seen time and time again when the fury from his past was taking over. He didn’t need space to get through this.

What he needed was me.

“Sean’s digging,” Logan said, joining us. “He’ll call you as soon as he finds out what’s happening.”

I nodded and grabbed my purse from the kitchen counter. “I’m going.”

“Piper—”

“He needs me.” I cut off Thea’s protest. “He’s going through so much. He needs me. And I need to be there to help him through this.”

“But—”

Logan placed a hand on his wife’s arm. “Call us if you need anything.”

“Thank you.” I went right down the hallway toward the garage where the Tahoe was parked. But before I could disappear from sight, a chilling thought settled in my mind. My heart plummeted.

“Logan?” I called over my shoulder.

“Yeah?”

“Did Kaine take off his gun?”