45 | 𝐻𝑒𝑙𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎 𝐹𝑢𝑔𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑒

"You broke me."

"I know."

"No, you actually hurt me," he said, his eyes sad.

"I know." My hands gripped the bars tight and I pressed my forehead up against the cold metal. "Please, Vicky. I will pay you back, but I can't call my mom right now. You know how she could be--" My voice got cut off by his sharp and reprimanding tone that sent a series of chills down my spine. He was upset with me, I saw it in his eyes and the way that he looked at me.

"You fucking messed up and that is not my fault. You ask your boy toy to get you out," he uttered under his breath. He gave one wave of his hand before beginning to exit out of the station.

"No! Wait! Vicky!" I was rattling my bracelet up against the metal, hoping to get his attention, and when he pivoted towards me, his eyes were angry and cold.

Shit, I really messed up this time.

He shook his head, approaching me more steadily and tauntingly now. "Listen, Azariah, I am glad you are happy but you made a promise to me, and like everybody in my life you fucking broke it." His voice was curt and somewhat guilty as if he'd caused it. "I'm sorry," he intercepted his apology with, "I can't help you."

"What about me?" Sam shouted from the far end of the box, clutching a clump of paper towels to his bloody nose. He was still drunk and practically sitting on top of Wolfie who was nearly asleep.

My voice was pitchy and filled the station. "I can't call anyone I know because--"

"Because why?" he urged.

"I don't know their phone numbers, and my mom would absolutely obliterate me." I was squeezing the frigid metal tight in my clammy hands. Begging with my eyes, but he was quietly shaking his head. "Vicky--"

"No, Azariah."

"Damn, I thought you said he'd save us," remarked Gonzalo with a giant wave of his arm. He was dramatically trying to get Victor's attention. "You liar!"

"Pipe down, new boy," some old man shouted in the corner. His gruff beard was in the way of his words and he sounded sleep deprived. I quickly surveyed the group of teenagers who got arrested, Olivia being one of them. Luckily Rowan and Keiona were able to escape, but I wished I had as well.

Victor studied the man, then everyone inside, some were seated on the floor. I, like many of them, remained seatless, and for some strange reason, I saw Victor's eyes linger on me, licking his cracked lips as he shook his head for a finalized motion. "I'm calling Corbett for you and he can come get you."

"That wouldn't be possible," I called to him as Victor started down the station to get some privacy to make a call. He slowed his steps, halting and glancing over his shoulder. "Sullivan left the party as I was getting arrested." I lowered my voice. "I don't think he's coming back for me. He's also really drunk so that's probably why."

Victor blinked a few times, then stressfully ruffled his black hair. "Keiona and Jay?" he egged on.

"Jay is on a date with Penelope and Keiona ran off with Rowan somewhere. She said her phone died." I released the bars reluctantly, beckoning for him to go. "It's fine, I shouldn't have worried you." I was walking over to Olivia to sit by her legs when a middle aged man whistled, tapping the bar next to the one he was leaned against.

"Come here, Doll. You look fucking stunning in that dress. Bet you made some guy happy tonight," he complimented, though I ignored him, Victor slammed his forearm along the metal, sending a ripple effect to jostle everyone in the cell.

"Get the fuck over here, Azariah," he deadpanned, making me get this warm fluttering feeling to decorate me. It flushed my cheeks as I wandered over to the bars. "Stay right here. Does Olivia have someone coming to get her?"

I looked over to her, sending her the look, but she gave a thumbs up and mouthed, "my boyfriend."

Victor nodded slowly, breathing in and closing his eyes. "Fuck, you're gonna be the death of me." He looked back up towards the officers. "You know I'm fucking stoned right now?"

"I don't want to take advantage of you, please, if you don't want to, calling my mom wouldn't be the worst thing in the world," I pleaded, but he shook his head, stiffening his posture.

"No, sober me would agree that leaving you in here is a bad idea. Just wait here until Olivia gets picked up too." He started walking to the officers, not giving me a second glance. I licked my cracked lips, tasting a faint bit of lipstick as I started to Olivia, seating myself in the now open spot. The man who was sitting there went up to greet his family friend.

I sat myself down, resting my head on her shoulder wearily. "I'm sorry I dragged you in all this."

She chuckled, resting her hand on my lap and sweetly leaning closer. "Make some good memories to tell our future families, doesn't it?" She was ginning while she spoke and I could tell that the atmosphere felt safe again. "Are you seriously dating Sullivan over him?"

I snapped my head up. "Please, not you too."

She rolled her eyes and confirmed, "the difference between the two of them is right in front of you, Riyah. You were the kindest most loveable to one, and he isn't here bailing you out of jail. You were a bitch to the other and he is, plus he wanted to make sure I was okay also." She gave my hand another squeeze. "Riyah, I am not trying to be a home-wrecker."

"You could wreck my home anytime," Sam mumbled into the paper towel on his nose and mouth. The blood soaked entirely through, and his eyes were half-sealed.

She scowled, pivoting to me. "Believe me," she begged. "This isn't even fabricated, I'm only telling you what you cannot see." Her voice was sincere, but her body picked up at the sight of an older guy, smiling and approaching the bars.

"Liv," he called.

"Jackie," she returned, leaping up and I swore that there were tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry! How was the drive? Are you okay?"

He hushed her, fiddling with her finger between the bars after studying her to make sure she was okay. "You alright? I'm okay, don't even worry about me. My dorm-mate is in the car." He smiled gratefully and gave one last goodbye before hurrying off to the officers.

I walked over. "I didn't know you had a boyfriend."

"He's in college," she admitted. "His name is Jacxin and we've been strong for two years. You have no idea how nice it is seeing Rowan getting it with somebody. We can finally go on double dates," she squealed excitedly, though her eyes were tired and she seemed exhausted deep down.

Finally a cop came walking over, unlocking the hatch and seizing open the door. I walked out and engulfed Victor in a hug. He limped backwards then wrapped his arms around me. "Azariah, if you think for one Goddamn minute that we're okay, you're mistaken," he whispered in my ear as he waved to Olivia who was also exiting the cell.

I nodded with dismay, wiping my tears. "Thank you. I'm sorry." I started following him to his car and he silently went into the drivers side, nor did he direct to the radio's abstinence, because for sure, the only loud enough thing in the car was my thoughts and his soundless breathing. Something fell to the pit of gut as he started driving and I awkwardly melted into comfort. My head was pressed against the shell of his passenger seat while my eyes trailed over the glass pane of the window, trying to decipher the blurs of color.

I felt so safe in his car. My eyes started fluttering closed and my body felt so much lighter than it was before. I wanted to feel his hand on me, and when I did, my heart warmed, but he was only shaking me, stirring me awake. "Come on, you can sleep when you get there." He removed his hand as I sat upright. "What time is your mom coming home tomorrow?"

"Six PM."

"Good. I don't want you sleeping there, not with the way it looked when I drove by it," he deadpanned stiffly, his eyes focused on the windshield. "It looked like a fucking landfill."

I mumbled mid-yawn, "I thought I said not to go to the party?" I was rubbing my eyes, feeling the thick coats of mascara smear down my face.

"I didn't, Keiona told me to go look for you, then you called me from the station." He sighed heavily into his seat, flicking on the heat as a flood of warmth poured into the car. It made me feel all fuzzy inside and I ducked my head, crunching my body and slowing my breathing. My dress was so tight that it restricted most of my movement.

I noticed he missed my turn to my house a while back. I was scanning the area with a little more haste. I assumed he was either taking me home or to his house, but he was driving down a vacant street.

"Where are you taking me?" My voice was hesitant as if I knew the answer before I asked. The road was illuminated by his lambent headlights that shined the way while trees contoured the path.

"To your boyfriend's--"

"No--" I panicked, straightening my posture and jumping, my heart slammed against the cage of my chest and all the worst possibilities overcame me in one fluid thought. He was going to yell at me, or worse, make me blow him or have sex and I just wasn't in the mood, but it felt impossible to say no to him some days even though he can take rejection very well. I just would feel bad when I couldn't provide for him in that way. "Please, Vicky! Please don't make me! Please, I'll do anything--just not Sullivan's tonight!" I was crying now, tears rolling down my face like undoing ribbons.

I continued to sob, melting atop the middle consul. "Vicky, just drop me off at my home." I looked up with water in my eyes, his image in front of me blurry. "I want to go home." Nausea coiled around my gut and squeezed till I was on the verge of emptying the thoughts into a fermented liquid form. I felt it creep up my throat.

"But--" He was trembling before lurking the car to the side of the road and putting it in park. "I assumed you'd wanna get out of your house after tonight."

"Not Sullivan's," I murmured into my arm, dampened with tears. "He'll be mad at me--"

"Why?" he urged.

"I don't know, he was mad at me over something stupid the other day and then I don't want to have sex again, I hate it!" I sobbed, throwing my head back to the passengers seat, my eyes squeezed shut. "Don't make me, Vicky. Please!"

"Backseat now," he deadpanned, opening the car door and slamming it shut. He navigated around the car to the passengers side and made me step out. Cars were barreling around the corner at lightning speed, but he blocked me from the road, guiding me into the backseat and slamming the door shut before entering on the opposing side.

I was silently shaking, tears still in my eyes. I didn't know why this emotion came over me, because I love Sullivan, but it hurt my stomach, making me go nauseous at the thought of seeing him that very second, and I knew he was drunk. I just needed a break from him.

Victor crawled closer to me, wrapped his arm around my shoulders, tugging me into his chest and allowing me to cry. He kissed my head a few times, running his fingers over my arms before leaning over and playing a song. The first thing that came on was "Livin' on a Prayer" and he just let it run while rocking me gently in the backseat, even when we were chuckling at the song and how it definitely wasn't the right mood for it.

I'm glad he didn't ask or get mad, I think that's why I missed Vicky, he kind of just, accepted things as they were. When my eyes were itchy and my skin was dry and stiff, I tightened my grip around his torso, impossibly squeezing him closer, but he started to pull away and I sunk back into the seat.

He slid off his black hoodie, revealing a t-shirt beneath as he tugged it on me. I covered my dress, fiddling with the sleeves so they hung over my hands and he only laughed quietly to himself. I smiled up at him.

He lifted me up by my waist and dragged me onto his leg. I straddled one thigh as I contorted to fit on top of his torso. He peppered my skin in kisses, dots of affection that I knew weren't going to turn into anything more, but they were simply just sweet little closed-mouth quiet popping noises as he kept scattering them.

"Thank you."

"For what?" he was chuckling. "Listen, between you and me. You do not have to pay me back for bailing you out of--"

"No," I intercepted. "Well, actually, you reminded me, I should thank you for bailing me out of jail. Oh my God, I guess that makes me a fugitive."

"You are not a fugitive," he assured, running his fingertips over the hoodie, making it scrunch a bit before falling into place. He grinned at me, but his eyes still showed a darkness in there that wasn't previously inside of his irises.

"I practically am."

"You're thanking me?" he recalled, prodding into my side to remind me.

"About not letting me go to Sullivan's. I've spent so much time with him and even if he's my crush... He just... after seeing..." I huffed again. "It's because..."

"Princess, you do not have to explain yourself." His head was comfortably positioned to look up at me as he toyed with his own hoodie. I felt something inside of me grow stronger as I straddled his thigh, and I was tempted to press harder on that something, but I didn't.

"Vicky," I breathed. "I miss you and I just..." I huffed again, burying my face into his neck. "I want things to go back to normal."

He rubbed circles on my back, making my tiredness become more prominent on my features as I slowly lulled into the dark and luxurious feeling of sleep. "What's normal?"

"Normal is being with you," I mumbled whilst drifting into my sleep, but everything was getting splotchy, so I finished the conversation mumbling something else, but I wish I could remember what exactly I said before I dozed off.

♡♡♡

I woke up to the sound of rustling and laughter. I wriggled out of my bed with Victor's comforters on me. I squinted my eyes at the adjustment, the memories of last night pulsing in my brain.

Once I got my bearings straight, I wandered down the stairs and saw a variety of people hustling around, cleaning and sweeping. There was a nice smell of Febreeze in the air with citrus. I noticed instantly Keiona who was positioning the pillows on the sofa. Rowan was screwing back lightbulbs in lamps. Olivia was by the door and she was using a wipe on the doorknob and maneuvering to the fireplace below the TV, giving everything a fresher look.

I noticed Kayla walking out of the kitchen carrying a blue plate with crackers and squares of freshly cut cheese.

Cheese. This is my family, that had to have been. They had to stay in my life because they're all going to eat cheese, but where's Sullivan?

Victor followed Kayla carrying a tray of glasses of iced tea as he announced, "Rhy's mom taught me how to make it." He was talking to Rowan who widened his eyes, laughing.

"Tell me you did it the way I told you though!" Rowan bargained.

"Oh, you fucking know I did!" Victor exaggerated, "once you do, you can't go back." They burst into laughter before his eyes met mine and everyone started to notice that I was creeping down the stairs. "Good morning, Princess."

"Morning," I muttered, ignoring their glances as I trudged down the steps. "What is going on here?" My head spun as I took in the sight of the cleaned living room, everything back in place, except my grandpa. Instead of his urn, there was a jack-o-lantern.

Penelope appeared in the kitchen doorway as she said, "Oh, sorry. I was trying to find something on short notice, but all they had at the dollar store was that."

Jay stifled a laugh behind her and remarked, "They also had a ghost, but we thought it wouldn't be too appropriate." He gave Penelope a quick kiss on her cheek before fitting his arm around her waist.

"Technically," piped in Keiona. "It's the afternoon, but we started early and I think we did a pretty good job." She twirled in a 360 degree angle, motioning to the room.

"Agreed!" Kayla exclaimed, giving a smile to me.

I bit my bottom lip, containing my smile as I looked at everyone here. "Sullivan isn't here, is he?" My voice was monotone.

Victor lowered the tray of glasses down and uttered through the uncomfortable silence, "I called him, but he said he was busy." He gave a sympathetic smile my way, but I was grimacing and having tears in my eyes.

"That's okay," I choked back. The sleeves of Victor's hoodie fell over my hands as I squealed. "I'm so happy!" I was jumping up and down at the bottom of the stairs. "You're all here!"

I bounded closer and amplified, "let's have a toast with cheese--" Accidentally I charged right into Victor's defined torso, revealed through the gray athletic t-shirt he wore with black sweats. His hand caught me, embracing me in a half-hug as he laughed into my hair hotly, his mouth going into kiss my cheek while I was hysterically chuckling, leaning into the cheese platter. I couldn't help but feel drawn closer to his temptation as his mouth was so close to mine. I could taste his ice tea flavored breath with that hint of sugary lemon, but he pulled away, acting as casual as the rest of us during our fit of chortles.

He gave my waist a squeeze as everyone raised a cracker to the ceiling, a piece of cheese on each. "Cheers," I started, "to my best friends."

We clicked out crackers, some crumbles falling to the tray as Penelope chided about having to dust again (with a new dollar-tree purchased duster), but everything seemed to dwindle into laughter and memories after that.

x