05 | 𝑁𝑜𝑡 𝑀𝑦 𝑁𝑎𝑚𝑒

If only Victor Vislocky was in school that day.

I would've told him everything, threw his clothes at him and scolded him for giving me such shit advice, but that's when it all hit me like a truck, I still have his clothes stuffed into my backpack.

Without looking too suspicious, I retreated and shoved them into my locker hoping no one would notice, I mean, it could've been just my clothes, but you never know with girls who have crushes. I especially didn't want to give anyone the wrong idea.

"Why are you stuffing Victor's clothes into your locker?"

I convulsed, a few curses slipping free along with, "Jesus Christ! Are you trying to give me a heart attack or something?" I spat out, spinning around to Kayla who glanced over my shoulder, unperturbed by my yelling. "He's not in school today--"

"I know," she murmured tiredly, dramatically. "I don't understand how he can pass these classes if he keeps ditching, but he's in my first period and he was there this morning. You should've seen him, he looked so hot. He wore my favorite leather jacket of his with the red patch on the shoulder--"

"Are you done?" I chimed in, but her eyes widened in horror.

"I have to hear you talking about Liv twenty-four-seven, give me a few moments of fame, will ya?" she rambled and I nodded my head in understanding. She was right. I did usually talk about Liv way more than she talked about Victor, but to be honest, she never really liked talking about her crush in public places, let alone the locker banks at school.

"Go on?" I urged, but she spitefully folded her arms over her chest and pursed her lips.

"I was done anyway," she sassed, fixing her backpack strap along her dress.

I actually really liked her outfit today. She loved the autumn and always dressed to match the season. She wore a purple-brown square neckline dress with skinny straps veiled by a crocheted ivory sweater, and her tall brown leather boots to match.

Her style was way better than mine, but I was okay with that--I sometimes borrowed her clothes and I knew I would probably borrow those boots, because in my defense, I gazed down to her necklace and recognized it immediately.

"I see you know fashion," I remarked subtly, beckoning my head to her exposed collarbone.

She chuckled, shooting me a hopeful grimace. "Sorry?" she questioned optimistically, but laughed it off. "I liked it and it looks really nice with this outfit!" she justified and I shrugged carelessly.

She was right.

It did.

"Fine," I gave in with a smile. "I'll let this one slide. Do you know when Victor will be back?"

"How would I know?" Kayla quirked a brow, and I nodded immediately, but at the same time, she had a way about knowing everyone's business (in a good way... kind of).

"I mean," she started, "He's been out for the past week, five days to be exact, but he was at the party? Maybe he's just ditching, like I said?" Off topic, she breathed admirably, "oh, I just wish he could ditch school with me already." She paused, tilting her head. "Imagine that?"

"Imagine what?" I inquired dumbly, facing the blue metal door and closing it gently, but that didn't stop the vibrating metal from coursing through the bank. "Getting in trouble for ditching and doing what..?"

"I don't know, whatever bad boys do when they ditch," she replied, caging a book in her arms as we walked. She never had enough room in that big backpack of hers for her novels, but I always enjoyed seeing the cover. Everyday in school she always came back with a new book.

"What do we got today?" I asked, whole-heartedly excited, contorting my body to see a quick glance. She smiled brightly, the glint of enlightenment in her eyes.

She held out the familiar cover that I've seen in her bedroom times before. "I've been dying to read this book for quite some time now. We have, 'I Saw It Coming' by P. K Smithers." She paused, taking a survey over the cover before stuffing it into her arms reluctantly. "Fun fact, that's not even his name."

"Really?"

"Looks you and him have something in common, Mia," she spitefully jested, but before our exchange could continue any further, Jay came sprinting down the hallway, his AID following after. I felt bad for him sometimes, though I tried not to pity him, I did feel a tad guilty knowing that the school didn't trust him alone. He'd disrupt class sometimes and I knew his parents talked about him being home-schooled, but that would be the last resort in my opinion, and I'm glad his parents understood that too.

He halted abruptly to a stop, his shoes sliding along the tiled flooring in front of Kayla and I. "You guys have to be careful!" he warned, dead serious, fear penetrating his eyes and looking into our irises. "There's something dangerous in the cafeteria--do you hear it?" he implored hastily, raising a hand to his ear.

Kayla and I agreed. Even though we knew deep down that there was nothing, we were told it's best to agree with his beliefs rather than try and convince him he was false, because he might get defensive, thinking that we're assuming he's lying.

Jay continued on to warn us, "Just promise me, you'll be careful? The school is locking down. I think it might be elephant--"

"Jaydon!" snapped his AID, the red haired woman appeared behind him, wearing a hot pink shirt fitting her in all the wrong places. She snapped her gum and pointed her finger as if he was an animal. "Jaydon, leave these two girls alone--"

"Oh, no," Kayla rebuked, "We're best friends--"

The AID laughed as if it was humorous, tapping his shoulder repeatedly to catch his attention but he was too busy listening to the noises of the elephant in the cafeteria, petrified.

When he started walking in the other direction with his AID after a few more warnings, I turned to Kayla and announced in her earshot, "more like an elephant in the hallway."

"Huh?"

I faced her, not anticipating talking to her about this, but I had to bring it up, I just had too. Even if I was being unreasonable, I had to tell her my feelings. "About Saturday--"

"Oh, God, that was so much fun, I mean, besides Sully showing up and ruining the day!" she joshed around as we began to trek closer to our class. "Don't you agree? Oh, well besides, y'know..." Her tone trailed before she asked obliviously, "why didn't you talk to him? Jay and I aren't gonna do it for you."

"I know, I know," I prattled on, throwing her an eye roll. "I just wasn't ready."

"Apparently, he's not gonna man up either and ask you on a date himself," she barked back, "you have to be confident, Riyah!" She interrupted herself and said, "At least tell him your name--"

"What if...?" I started, nodding my head with wide eyes as if this was the most immaculate thought. "I change my name to Mia--"

"New idea," she declared.

I nodded in agreement, but was tempted. I cleared my throat and suggested, "How about, I change my ringtone tone to 'That's Not My Name' by Ting Tings?"

"We're getting somewhere, but I still think you should confront him--"

"It'd be too awkward," I brushed off.

"You're too awkward, just go up to the jackass and say, 'bro, my name ain't Mia,' and done," she simplified.

I stared at her from the corner of my eye after gazing down my outfit. She was right and I knew it, but when I lowered my gaze, I was met with my maroon and orange checked pants with black strips dividing the tiny squares. The school logo at my hip, a black tank top to match. I wondered if he would even fall for someone like me at times.

"Are you planning on saying anything?" she wondered aloud, provokingly, but I shook my head, proceeding to sixth period.

If there was one thing that I knew, it was that he would have to talk to me, and somehow, someway, he was gonna figure out my name in a nice, not guilty atmosphere.

♡♡♡

"I will be picking partners, and if your partner isn't here today, please meet up with them as soon as possible," Mrs. Allen explained with a beaming smile. She was a sweet teacher, despite her inner passion to kill all students from humiliation slowly.

Okay, I'll even admit that was a little much for someone like me, but it's true.

Mrs. Allen must've never had an ounce of anxiety in her life if she wanted to do this to a class of twelfth graders.

I, being one of the many who vouch that this was pathetic.I despised computer generated partners. It was excruciating to wait. I felt my stomach curling in my gut, twisting like pizza dough before being thrown in the air, and tossed carelessly--was I even breathing?

It's okay though, it's fine.

It's so simple too. I gotta get a partner and realize that the both of us are not wanting to work together or at all.

Unless it was Jay or Kayla---please be Jay or Kayla, please be Jay or Kayla. I begged and begged and when Mrs. Allen finished talking, she walked to her desk and I internally begged some more.

Curse an assignment worth thirty percent of our grade.

She retreated to the computer and said she would press the 'generate' button three times, and the third time would be the one.

'I hated this,' I thought, swallowing thickly. What was even the point of that? More torture? I guess so.

She collapsed onto her office chair, wheeling further from her desk at the impact, but wiggled in retreat and instantaneously pressed on the mouse, opening the green and blue website in another tab. She clicked on the green generate button and I immediately saw my name beside 'Wilson Parker.'

Thank God she was doing it three times.

I began to adjust in my seat comfortably, listening to the wave of pity for those who got good partners and smiles for those who didn't. I, like many others, were happy for this arrangement.

She clicked the button again, and my smile became lost in the current of the classroom breeze. I leaned forward on my desk, seeing the name correctly beside mine. 'Mikayla Ashby.'

I swung around and looked at Kayla across the classroom. Her mirroring expression and pitiful eyes. We both longingly gazed at each other, and this seemed to be a good one for the class, they all started to raise in volume and Mrs. Allen had to slap her hand against the mahogany desk to catch their attention.

"Enough chit-chat," she voiced. "Last one, these will be your final partners for the assignment! Due two days before winter break!" she exclaimed to everyone, hoping the message got across.

I twisted away from Kayla sullenly, eyeing the board at the front as she pressed on the green generate button. I waited as the names switched all over the board in blurs until stopping.

My breath caught in my throat, a lump clogging my airways.

Why couldn't I breathe? Come on, I coached myself, breathe! Please, breathe!

Am I gonna pass out? I better not pass out. But I was feeling really really hot, shit, am I turning red? I feel red. This remarkably warm tingly and prickling sensation, the flares of heat building and climbing up the sides of my face eagerly and my heart slamming, or had it stopped moving completely?

Breathe!

"Okay, these are your partners," she murmured, "you're going to meet with them next class--"

"Uh, Mrs. Allen!"

Why is he talking?

He unsteadily asked, "we don't have an Azaree-hia? Is he new?"

My hand stiffly laid over my head, forehead in the divot between my index finger and the pad of thumb which rubbed over the stovetop of my face. I knew I must've been as red as a solo cup, or a strawberry, tomato, firetruck, all that combined.

I had to have jinxed myself before.

Everybody in class pivoted in their chair, pointing to me in the middle of the classroom, from all directions, they were pointing at me.

My face grew hotter. I glanced up sheepishly to the narrowed eyes belonging to none other than my crush, Sullivan Corbett. "Sorry," he apologized to Mrs. Allen for the interruption, but he kept shooting me quick glances of bafflement.

I sensed the apologetic look on Kayla and Jay from either side of the classroom in their assigned seats. Or their 'I was right' expressions, I couldn't tell and in all honesty, I couldn't look.

"Now, we all know who our partners are!" Mrs. Allen casually intervened.

It's not like my worst nightmare just happened, totally not. Totally not like I'll remember this for the rest of my life or on a random Tuesday seventy-one years from now... totally not.

The bell resounded through the halls and I gave no time for Sullivan who was ambling through the aisles of desks to get to me. I caged my books in my arms, swung my unzipped backpack over my shoulder, and booked it out of the English classroom. Lastly, I hurried down the hallway.

Thank God, I had English ninth period, cause I went from the classroom straight to the back doors of Fox Point High.

The fresh air cooled every surface of redness on my pale complexion. The heat instantly became chilled with the November-ness that I stepped outside into. The icing numb sensation prickled my face habitually as I finally inhaled for the first time since the past twenty minutes.

The doors flung outwards noisily and I saw Sullivan approaching me hastily "Hey, Mi--I mean, Azaree--"

"Nice seeing you! I gotta go! Emergency!" I admitted, walking backwards through the parking lot. I was eyeing him the whole time, my cheeks returning to the red state.

"I just want to talk!" he called back, but I was already halfway down the parking lot. "Watch out!" he suddenly shouted.

I beckoned my hand to him, but before I could respond, my whole body slammed against a parked car. I felt my breath stolen from me (again) as I wobbled away from the small vehicle. "All is good!" I returned with a thumbs up, he started making his way to me, but I quickly fled.

"I have to uhh--babysit!" I reasoned, exiting the parking lot and starting to casually sprint down the sidewalk.

Shit, shit, shit, that didn't just happen. That couldn't have happened! Why did I run away? Why am I still running?

I started to slow my pace after the school was long behind me, hyperventilating, labored breathing choking up my throat harshly, scraping through my dry mouth.

Wow, I'm gonna die.

Yeah... bad idea.

Well, I knew for certain, I could not face him... ever again. What was I supposed to say? I should've listened to Kayla and Jay, I should've just corrected him from the start, but no! I didn't and now I had to deal with explaining why I let him call me Mia for four years.

Good grief. This kinda sucks.

My phone started vibrating in the pocket of my pajama pants and I slipped it out to see the caller I.D.. I really didn't want to talk to Kayla at that moment, but I knew I should. I swiped on the call and raised it to my ear with a sour look on my expression, preparing myself.

The phone was flush against my ear when I heard spurts of laughter. "Did you book it out of school?" she questioned, chortling hysterically. "What the fuck? Where did you go?"

"I panicked!" I defended.

"You are something, alright," she teased, laughing in reply. "I was supposed to drive you home? Like I've done everyday since the start of this year. Where are you? Can I pick you up?" she suggested, but I knew I needed to breathe before anyone saw me. A walk would be good anyway. I was freezing though, wearing nothing but a tank top and pajama pants, but I needed some time alone. Despite the exempted rainfall that was lurking above my head.

"No, I'll be good," I informed. "I think I'm gonna take a walk anyway."

"Okay, loser," she brushed off, guffawing again. "You're fucking stupid, but I love you."

"Love you too," I murmured with a smile. She did have a way of calming me down, even if that was to tease me relentlessly. "I'll text you later."

"Whatever you say, Azaree-hia," she mocked.

"Shut up!" I shot down, jokingly adding, "only Liv is allowed to call me that."

"Well, you both call each other the wrong names, I guess it must be meant to be," she joked light-heartedly. "Adios!" she hung up after my goodbyes and I lowered the phone.

"Good grief," I mumbled under my breath again.

What a shit show.

Maybe I should just not show up tomorrow? I knew I had to, but what if I didn't? Honestly, I'll change my name, move to New Zealand and no one will ever find me...

Good plan, I thought.

Before I did that, I needed to make a pit-stop.

x