CH 3

Tang Cuo1was given this name when he was born. This strange name describes his birth.

After he turned twelve, Tang Xu gave him a new name.

At that time, Tang Xu brought The 300 Tang dynasty Poetry, Song dynasty poetry as well as one “Book of Songs”. He sat cross-legged on the bed and said, “Your name is not good; let’s change it to a new one.”

Tang Cuo, who was reading an extracurricular book for primary school, lying in his pyjamas next to Tang Xu’s pile of books and said, “Then I will be called Tang Si2.”

Tang Xu rejected it, “No, it sounds like a girl’s name.”

But Tang Cuo insisted on being called Tang Si, pointing to a word in his book, and said, “Your name is Tang Xu, and I will be called Tang Si.”

Tang Xu leaned over to have a look, he smiled and patted Tang Cuo’s head, and said, “Why did you name after me ?”

The word in the book that Tang Cuo couldn’t take his eyes off was called a thousand thoughts.

Tang Cuo was just a child at that time, and he didn’t know what love was at all. He said stubbornly, “You are my benefactor, so I want to be named after you.”

Tang Xu was stunned by his solemn attitude and finally had to promise him to think about it. He thought about it for a while, he still felt that Tang Cuo was already pretty, so taking a girl’s name would be less manly. So in the end, he decided to give the word “Hang” and named him “Tang Si Hang”

However, Tang Cuo only used the name for a year. After Tang Xu left him, he changed his name back to Tang Cuo.

After the meal, neither of them said anything. Tang Cuo bid goodbye to Tang Xu at the entrance of the cafeteria and appropriately called him “Teacher Tang.” When he turned and walked away, he was so elegant that he didn’t even look back.

After returning to the office, Tang Xu was unable to stop thinking about it. He’d never raised a child before, and he’d only had Tang Cuo for a year, but it was enough for him to feel that something was off. Tang Cuo seems to be living well, but his temperament has changed too much. On top of that, why did he change his name?

He couldn’t calm down his thoughts, he irritably lit a cigarette. He pressed the cigarette butt into the ashtray when the cigarette burned out. He got up and went to the next office.

“Colleague, who is the head teacher of the second automation class?”

Teacher Wang in the room said, ” It’s me, what’s the matter?”

Although some university class teachers met with their students twice—once at the start of school and again after graduation—Teacher Wang, in Tang Xu’s opinion, was a very responsible one. So he went inside, sat carelessly on the chair, and asked, “How is Tang Cuo’s usual performance in your class? How is his academic performance?

Teacher Wang, who was typing the simulation programme on MATLAB, peeked his head out from behind the computer screen and said, “It’s pretty good; why did you ask about him?”

Tang Xu coughed twice and lied with a straight face, “He is the child of one of my relatives, and I just learned today that he attends this school, Don’t you know about this?”

Teacher Wang came to his senses after hearing this. “Yes, you two are from the same family,” he said with a smile, shifting the chair to the side and exposing his entire body. “This child is very good, with good grades, and also won the national award last year. He is gentle and not very talkative.”

Tang Xu paused for a moment after listening and asked, “How is his relationship with other classmates?”

“He gets along well with his classmates. He would also summarise the key points for the students in the class who needed them at the end of the week. He is quite popular.”

It sounds like there is no problem. Only then did Tang Xu’s heart settle, he stood up and said, “Thank you.”

Tang Cuo did not return to the dormitory after separating from Tang Xu. He walked into the groove and sat motionless for a long time on the stone bench. When he felt comfortable, he took out his phone and dialled a number.

“Doctor Wen, do you have time this afternoon?… Well, I need to speak with you.”

Tang Cuo skipped the afternoon class to visit the psychological clinic.

Doctor Wen, whose full name is Wen Ying, is a gentlewoman. Tang Cuo has been receiving treatment from her since he was seventeen. He could be said to have given all of his pocket money to this clinic.

When Wen Ying saw him walk in with his schoolbag on his back, she smiled and asked, “Are there no classes this afternoon?”

With a smile, Tang Cuo sat down, took a glass of warm water from Wen Ying, held it in his palm, and said, “Skipped it.”

Wenying was surprised and said, “Good students also skip classes; why? unhappy?”

Tang Cuo blinked after a long period of silence, and even this blinking seemed cautious to Wen Ying.

“I saw him again…”

Wen Ying was not surprised when she heard this; she simply smiled lightly and asked softly, “Didn’t you make plans to see him again when you chose this school?”

The water glass in his hand shook, and a small circle of water rippled out.

Tang Cuo remained silent and Wen Ying didn’t rush, she just sat there waiting for him to speak.

“I’m scared,” Tang Cuo raised his head. “I had a meal with him just now, I was extremely uncomfortable and couldn’t breathe, as if I were drowning. I think I made a mistake; I shouldn’t approach him anymore, and I should stay as far away as possible…”

Hearing this, Wen Ying stood up, took a bottle of honey from the table, walked over to Tang Cuo, and handed him a glass of water. She poured some honey into it, stirred it, and handed it back to Tang Cuo.

Tang Cuo’s eyes kept following the transparent cup. He watched the honey dissolve in the water in a circle and heard Wen Ying ask, “Can you tell me what you are afraid of now?”

Tang Cuo’s gaze remained fixed on the glass of water, and he murmured, “I’m afraid I couldn’t control myself and do something stupid… I’m afraid I’ll hurt others, including him.”

“Don’t say that about yourself. you won’t.”

Tang Cuo shook his head. “I didn’t think I would, but I just met him, so I’m not sure.”

He looked at Wen Ying like a child, confused and empty, just as he had the first time he came to her. Wen Ying has been treating him for nearly three years. Tang Cuo was the most special patient she had ever seen. Most teenagers would refuse psychological treatment. Tang Cuo, on the other hand, came to her on his own initiative and was extremely cooperative throughout the treatment process. And he seems to be able to figure out everything and control himself so well that Wen Ying sometimes thinks Tang Cuo doesn’t need to say anything; he just comes here hoping someone will listen to him.

“Sometimes I think if he hadn’t brought me out, I might have died already, and it wouldn’t have been so painful.”

Wen Ying was taken aback. Tang Cuo had never said anything depressing. Even when he was in the worst state of mind, he would tell her, “Doctor Wen, help me; I want to get better.”

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rue : A bit late but happy new year~

“Cuo ” means mistake or wrong

“Si” means to think or to conside